Asking For It All
So... Arden and Nika have taken a bit of an interesting turn, and whether it works out for them, who knows? :) Thanks, Bobby. :) I didn't see this one coming.
Standing in the corridor of the crew quarters, Nika takes a breath. The
past several weeks have been something of a haze in her head, but having
one's inhibitions swept entirely away certainly gives new meaning to
'crew togetherness.' She knocks on the door to his quarters and waits
for Arden to answer, looking up with a bit of a grin when he opens the
hatch. "Hey there, handsome." The greeting is easy, though there's a
hint of a question in her eyes. She's not entirely sure where he's going
to stand at this point either -- and facing it head-on seems a better
option. "Am I interrupting?"
---
Arden's eyes light up when he answers the door to find Nika standing
there. "No. No, nothing at all. I am just packing the clothes I need
for the next couple of days. Come in," Arden steps back and opens the door.
Nika steps in and Arden closes the door behind her. Then he turns and
steps into Nika's personal space, grabs onto her shoulder and kisses her
deeply, thoroughly. He is still smiling as he pulls away. One of his
hands comes up and caresses her cheek.
---
The kiss is not as unexpected as it could have been -- she was figuring
this would go one of two ways: Kissing or shy. Nika returns the kiss,
one hand resting on his chest, and when he pulls back she smiles
slightly. "Well, I'm guessin' that answers the question somewhat," she
drawls mildly. "I was tryin' to decide if I was going to blush like a
sonuvagun or not."
---
Arden laughs, "You still may." He pulls away and then with some
seriousness says, "You and I have a problem. Not one that is
insurmountable, but one that we must address." Arden takes a deep
breath and lets it slowly out, "Oh let's sit down for this." He points
to the bed, and then waves to encompass the rest of the room, "Wherever
you want."
---
Tilting her head, Nika studies him and walks to the bed to plop down on
the edge of it. She doesn't lean back on her hands or give him that
rather suggestive leer that has been so common lately, but she doesn't
seem uneasy with him either. "All right," she says quietly. "Talk to me."
---
Arden grabs a chair and pulls it over so that is is facing Nika. The he
sits down in it. They are close enough to look into each others' eyes,
but not close enough to touch unless they make an effort (or use their
feet).
"We are a military vessel right?" Arden starts, "Which means military
rules. Which also means no consorting with under officers. That
doesn't matter to me, but you might think otherwise?" He cocks his head
and waits for her to reply.
---
By her startled expression, that was not exactly where she expected him
to go with this. And in truth, Nika hadn't really thought about it from
that angle. "Uhm," she replies somewhat unintelligently. "Well, now
there's a good question...." She is slow in her response, thinking
through her words carefully. "We have a military commission, and it's a
steady paycheck. But for all intents and purposes, this ship is still
ours and we run her as we see fit. That said.... should we be in a
position to have a higher ranking military officer aboard, some ...
discretion... would be appreciated. But aside from that... I'm less
concerned about the military aspect of things than I am about the
personal aspects," she admits.
---
Arden nods, "That is what I thought you would say. So here is what I
want: In public, including out there," he waves at the door, "I address
you as 'captain,' 'Nika,' or whatever nomenclanature is appropriate. I
give you the proper respect that is your due as my commander."
"However," he continues, "in here, in private, when it is just the two
of us, you are Kitten, and address me as sir. In here, I am the superior
and you are mine, willing to do whatever I want you to do when I tell
you to do it. Understand?" His eyes are harder, still Arden's, but he
is not joking about this despite how... archaic, it sounds.
---
Both her brows shoot up, and Nika eyes him. Something in him has done
some significant shifting. Maybe in her too, but she hesitates. "I'm....
not entirely sure I'm comfortable with the idea that .... " She pauses
and rephrases herself a couple of times mentally before trying it this
way. "I like the game, Arden." That does make her blush a bit. "I have
no trouble with that part. But I don't... really like the idea that if
I'm just plain not in the mood for it and you are, we better not be in
the same room. Does that make sense?"
---
"Nika," Arden says softly, "I love you. And anything you want or need,
well, that's my desire to do AND my duty to do. In this relationship,
not a game, that is the way it is." He leans forward, "And as such I
would never make you do something you absolutely do not want to do. I
know you pretty well, Kitten, and I can tell when you are angry or
pissed or raging mad. I know when you are down, or sad, or depressed.
And I give you my word that I will always be there for you.
"In fact, despite the appearance, the master has to know his ...
person's limits. He has to know how far to take things, how far to
push. And the submissive needs to know that her master knows that and
trust him." Arden leans forward and says, "Maybe... maybe that isn't
something you want, or thought you want, but it is what I want. Once
not too long ago I thought that I could be a different person, that I
could change for my lover. But it doesn't work that way. To love you
properly, the correct way, I have to be myself."
He pauses, "make sense?"
---
Nika's clearly having a little trouble processing. She's listening
intently, realizing that they're talking about something she wasn't
aware of -- that there are actually some kind of rules that govern what
they've been doing. She leans her elbows on her knees so that they're
face to face, and she studies his expression thoughtfully. "So... what
kind of a different person did you think you were supposed to be?" she
asks curiously. Perhaps as a way to give herself a few more moments to
sort through her thoughts.
---
Arden frowns, "I said that. Someone who could adapt, change, to meet
his partner's needs. And perhaps I can do that, but I also have to be
true to myself. I like being in control. I like being able to tell you
to bend over and take me, knowing that you will. No, like is too tame a
word, I _love_ it. I get off on it. Just thinking about it gets me hard.
"That doesn't mean I won't cuddle, won't attempt to drive you out of
your mind with pleasure, because those things please me too.
"But when i said you were 'mine,' I meant it. Mine and no one else's."
---
"I.... love the way I feel when I'm closed in this room with you," Nika admits quietly. Not as if that wasn't easy to tell. "You've given me a kind of perspective, a freedom from responsibility in a way, that I have to admit is intoxicating. I trust you to satisfy us both, Arden. And I do love you...." She looks down at her hands, clasped between her knees, her tongue touching her upper lip as she tries to articulate the chaotic thoughts. "I will love you the rest of my life," she says quietly, very seriously, as she looks back up at him. "But I'm not *in* love with you. I don't know if I even know what being *in* love means, honestly... I sure as hell haven't had a lot of luck with it. And maybe it would be enough for both of us, what's between us. God knows, I've missed you. But I couldn't bear it if I took what you're offering me under false pretenses. I have not and won't ever lie to you. Part of me wishes I
- could*." It would be so much easier in some ways... to fake it. But not
with him. She can't.
---
Arden leans back and tents his fingers under his chin, thinking. The he
chuckles, "You know, most people fall in love and then fall out of love,
hating the person they were with. You, on the other hand, have skipped
the whole falling in love step and gone straight to love. You are just
not the gushy type Nika. You don't get moony eyed and distracted by
your feelings for another, nor do you worry about what the other's
feeling. I think you automatically assume that they love you back, which
in my case, is fortunate, since I do love you AND I am in love with you.
"You don't want to be in love, so be it," Arden says smiling, "But will
you be my Kitten? Will you come to me and let me hold you, shelter you,
and perhaps even discipline you? Will you take my love and magnify it
and give it back?"
---
"I worry about your feelings constantly," Nika objects, pulling upright.
She's a little offended. "You're asking me to be monogamous, here, and
that's something I've _never_ done for any man!" She moves to stand up
as if she's going to pace the small space, shoving her hand into her
confined hair. "I haven't skipped the falling in love part -- that's the
problem," she admits roughly. "I've felt that too. Once. And it's giddy
and it's... amazing. And I *want* that." It just didn't happen with
Arden. She turns to look at him. "Is it enough for you? To know that if
it happens, I may come to you and need out?" she demands in a husky tone.
---
"That's a given, Nika," Arden replies his eyes hurt. "I would never do
anything, unless I had no idea I was doing it, to hurt you." Arden pauses.
"And yes," Arden's eyes flash, the sorrow turning to resolve, "I am
asking, or telling, you to be monogamous. You can always ask me if you
want to sleep with another man, or woman," he continues. "But I dont
guarantee that I will say 'yes.'"
"Lastly, and more importantly," Arden says, "You want to be in love?
Then let yourself be in love. Don't overanalyze it. Don't think about
it. Acceptance. You need to accept that someone loves you, that you
care for them. Then you will find that your desire to be with them
increases. And the...." Arden stops and says, "Okay I am about to get
new age-y on you. When you love someone, when you are a couple, the
vibrations you share feed on each other, reinforce one another, and
build on one another. That is what makes being in love such a rush.
"Its the drug that you make naturally when you are loved unconditionally
and you love back. Unconditionally," Arden finishes, then moves his
chair back, giving Nika room to move.
---
Her brows pull together, and although it's still very clear Nika isn't
quite understanding the rules, the fact that he is able to talk about
this the way he is seems to ease the anxiety. "That is definitely far
more New Age-y than I ever expected to hear from your mouth," she
agrees. Blowing out a breath, she seems at a loss. "Something about what
you're asking is making me squirm. And I don't know why," she admits.
And then she walks to him to touch his face, still after all this time
fascinated at the differences. She misses his original face. But she
smiles a little. "I can try. It's all I can promise you."
---
Arden pulls her towards him, takinging her into his lap. He gathers her in his arms, pulling her close. he places his forehead against hers, "That's all anyone can ask of anyone, no matter what they say with their mouths." Then he kisses her, starting soft and gentle, then more demading as his tongue invades her mouth. Arden breaks the kiss and looks her in the eyes, the beautiful Nika's eyes. It didn't matter that they weren't original, they were hers and that was the important part. "Mine. Yours," he says distinctly, "Unconditionally." Then he kisses her again.
Go to Nika's Crew Page or Arden's Crew Page
Go back to: Season Seven, May 2523 to --
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