Kiera's Wave to her Father
I don't know how to begin this, so I'll just jump in. You are right. Not completely. . .I'm not giving you that. But I've seen the future and it is what you've hinted at, seen "those" people in action and it gives me pause. Not that I'm gonna give up my friend. I'm fairly certain that you got from the scan everything that you needed to start the process to make the anti-Übermensch, but I could be wrong and I'll admit that. I am also fairly certain that you've got other bets laid on the table, other resources to marshal and so I won't worry that your scientists don't have this particular subject to experiment and dissect.
Call me sentimental; you've always said that my emotions drove my decisions and pushed me to make illogical and material mistakes that have done nothing but damage my life and your reputation, but with the war, I don't know that I will ever get to the Core again and I wanted you to know that you were right. Hell, to be honest, I wanted you to know that because I don't know if I'll be alive at the end of this stupid madness. I don't have a side but my own, but everyone around me seems to need a cause, a reason to get up in the morning that isn't just to experience this 'Verse in all its glories and look forward to a new sunrise. I don't understand that anymore than I understood your stubborn drive to control and manage everything you touched, to work the deal and dominate your competitors and find a way to make it profit you. My brother got that from you and it has served him well. I'm sorry that all I got from you was the muleheadedness.
I don't support the Independents, but on the other hand, I don't support the Allliance. If more people held a dying man, put their hands on a beating heart and watched the light die in someone's eyes, then they wouldn't be so damned enthusiastic for wholesale slaughter. There is nothing like that leaden, far-looking blankness that is in someone's eyes as they die, the feeling of defeat as you are the one who totally failed to keep them from looking to that never-ending horizon. What is happening gives remoteness to death, makes it a show of fire and glory with no real understanding of what is involved. Only the people left behind care about that. The wounded and scared, the angry and the vengeful. Yes, I've dealt death, but never in these numbers, and I know what I'm dealing. I've looked in those fading eyes and knew that it was my fault that they were dying. Killer, not savior; sinner, not saint. But these nitwits with uniforms and pomp and circumstance are leaping wholesale into something that probably won't have a good ending for anybody. Death is pretty in space and in mass on the ground, fire and brimstone, glowing gas, explosions and excitement. Oh, and the patriotism and self-righteous fervor that is seated in our most childish selves. Do we ever really get any older than ten years old?
Surely there had to be another way, something beyond war and genetic mutants set loose by corporations who were done with them, something beyond espionage and revenge, something beyond those that have been ignoring or using those that don't have. Something beyond the need to control and be on top even if you had to step on everyone to get there. Something that finally made the poor and despised have a real hope that they had something equal to what the Core seemed to have. Something that made the Core realize that it is their children and relatives living out on the Rim and that we all needed to work together to achieve something special. That everybody could have something without everybody losing everything.
Something that elevated humanity to a race admirable. But no. Here we go again with fire and brimstone, pain and death, envy and cruelty.
Unfortunately, we're all humans and we've never evolved to do anything better.
Blue Sun has made their avenging angels and have set them loose, Daddy, and I assume that you are well on your way to making your own. Some of the monsters wear our faces and some have our frailties. Love and loneliness can bring them down. The genetic stock that made them is flawed since it is us. But since then it seems that the researchers have fixed that problem of humanness through errors and successes. I don't know which way your research is going and I don't really want to know. It frightens me that man can make such things as Reavers and such, and things such as the creatures that tracked me once through a city. Übermensch who forgot their humanity. Those creatures will be hard to control in time, hard to stop since they have no connection to their creators. I don't want a future with them in control, so I wish you luck with your endeavors although that also galls me. But I hope it is profitable for you and I hope that you are successful if only for my own selfish desire not to be enslaved.
This wave has gone on too long. . .so good luck, keep safe, and tell my brother to keep him and his safe. Tell he and Mom that if I never see them again, I loved them. And just so you know: Every rebellious moment, it was me embracing my knowledge that I could never live up to the daughter you wanted me to be, live up to the expectations that I could never achieve. It was easier to fail you on purpose than to fail you having given it my all. I have both admired and resented you all my life and a look from you could harrow me more than any cold-hearted killer I've faced. You tower in my thoughts, a figure of monumental success that I don't know how to emulate. Yet, all through it, although it seemed otherwise, I never stopped loving you.
Farewell for now,
Your daughter,
Kiera
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