Reviewing Action

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Having your partner's back. It really is what it's all about. Thanks, Andy!--Maer.





Summer's Gift
July 23, 2521
2200 hrs

Negotiations for the day were done. Dinner and cleanup was done. That meant Joshua finally had some free time, which meant he could track down Rina. He could almost hear Nika and Arden snarking in the back of his mind about what he would be doing with this free time. While it would be nice to delve into some pleasures of the flesh, he thought, it was more worries of the mind that concerned him at the moment. He just kept going over the events in the logging camp, but no matter how he sliced them, he had really screwed up. And one of the best things about Rina's company is that she wouldn't hesitate to give him honest answers and opinions. She wasn't the holding back type and he could use some thought about what he had done wrong.

He came down the hallway and stopped in front of her door. As he raised his hand to knock, a peculiar thought crossed his mind. Too bad, he thought, the rooms weren't big enough to share on a regular basis. Then again, a little privacy is probably not a bad thing. He shook his head to clear it and knocked. "Hey, mind if I come in?"

***

After eleven days of working and sweating like lumberjacks and no way to wash up other than the rain that fell almost continuously, a long hot bath aboard the Gift was nothing short of Heaven. Normally I showered to conserve water but this time I indulged in a neck-deep soak in the med bay's tub, a relic from the previous captain. Potemkin's stash of bath products had also remained and I made good use of them. Sandalwood scented the steamy air and I lay back with my arms on the tub rim, my head wrapped in a towel, and reveled in being clean again. It had taken three changes of water to get to that state and I lounged in the cooling remains of the fourth, soaking up the heat. I confess I drowsed a bit, dreaming of the banya at my Uncle Andrei's, and came to when my chin touched the water.

Enough. Time to go.

I quit the tub and drew on my robe while it drained. My clothes, those that I'd worn for twelve days, were truly filthy. I wrapped them in my towel to avoid touching them and after making sure everything was tidied for the next occupant, I left for the laundry off the midships lounge. Dropping my duds in the wash--and emptying my pockets--was the work of a mere minute and it wasn't long before I was flat on my bunk, dizzy from the bath's heat and the warmth of my robe, completely comfortable and absolutely loath to move.

So of course, someone knocked on my door. I heard his voice and a spurt of excitement spiked through me and I slapped the door release over my head without looking.

***

Joshua stepped into her room, greeted by the sight of her lounging in a robe. "Hi," he said with a big smile. "You know how I'm learning? I was going to ask if I was bothering you, but you wouldn't have opened the door then. So I didn't ask." And he laughed as he crossed the room, and sat on the edge of the bunk on what room was left as she lounged on it. "Although I'm feeling a bit overdressed."

***

Nothing we can't fix, I thought as the pleasure of seeing him deepened into lust. But I held my tongue and made no move, sensing that plunging headlong into whatever we'd started that night in the generator room might not be the best course to take. I knew my cuffs and hem were overlong on my short self, so exposure wasn’t a risk, but still.

"Sorry," I said, taking his statement at face value. "Just got clean. Got dizzy from the heat. Not that I mind. I think this is the first time in days I've been warm. As for the rest," I added with a smile. "You've always been a quick study. What occasions the call?"

***

"Other than the pleasure of your company?" He grew a little more serious as his mind turned towards his original topic. "Tell me something and no sugar coating it. I borked that logging camp situation pretty bad, didn't I?"

***

His question following on the heels of the compliment neatly derailed my train of thought and my tongue went right off the tracks.

What? Don’t be stupid.” I blurted. Like I said, derailed.

***

Joshua put his hand over his mouth and chin as he rubbed his beard and pretended to be mulling her question over in thought. "Well, stupid is a natural state of affairs, so it can be hard to avoid. But I still think I screwed it up pretty good." And he rubbed her leg through the robe to reassure her that he wasn't upset.

***

I closed my eyes, lost in his touch, and tried to pull myself together. Business call. Not pleasure. Focus.

"So, you screwed up? When?" I was going to need a little help.

***

"Wouldn't it be more appropriate to ask when I didn't screw up?" Joshua's tone was lighthearted. Enough time had passed between those first days in camp to put some distance between him and it. But while he wasn't beating on himself like he had that first night in the generator container, it still bothered him. "I got us enslaved for 11 days working a brutally hard and potentially lifethreatening job because I overreacted to the potential of the crew getting into a firefight." He would gloss over how he had gotten them into that gorram situation in the bunker in the first place.

***

"Oh." I sighed and levered myself upright, wrapping my arms around my knees. "That's neither here or there, Joshua. That's your standard reaction to potential violence—no, seriously. It is. And given everyone else's proclivities, how do you think it could have gone better?"

***

"Am I really that bad? I just worry about the crew getting killed."

Especially considering everyone seems to think they're immortal and will never get killed in a firefight.

***

"I won't deny I find it hard to understand how a man who's as accomplished in Aikido as you are can still be so leery of violence, but to answer your question--no, not really. It just seems that way to me but you have to consider who's making that observation, okay?"

I chewed my lip and tried to organize my thoughts. Something I'd asked him that first night in the generator room came back to me and I knew the direction I would take this. Having Joshua there in his shirtsleeves made it hard, but I managed after a minute.

"But let's backtrack a bit. Almost from the point we touched the ground at the camp, you'd been ... if not off your game, then considerably expanding on it. Almost reckless. And you never really answered me when I asked you about it later that night. Maybe you were still coasting on the adrenaline and weren't thinking as clearly as you could have. Maybe the idea that the room would go up seemed exciting? I don't know.

"As for the rest of it," I said, going over the points as I remembered them, "I wasn't entirely convinced the man wasn't bluffing, but it didn't matter if he was. We were in a bad position tactically speaking—underground with only one way out controlled by the enemy—and we were unable to ascertain if the atmo was incendiary or not. We weren't going to get out of there without taking him hostage and flying off with him. And in that scenario, there's no telling if his men wouldn't've turned on him and started shooting anyway. We didn't have enough intel. Parlay was the safest option. The man seemed inclined to talk. Stringing him along until he let something important slip is a valid tactic. But somewhere along the line, he started to panic over the guns and I could see that it would have ended in a firefight and that was counterproductive no matter what the atmo was like. We had to be the ones who made the first move, Joshua, and drop guns. Again, a non-violent option and one you were urging us to use."

I snorted and shook my head.

"If Arden hadn't been such a stubborn ass, we'd likely have done it sooner and things might have continued on better footing. Still, there's no use in marinating over it. You did the best you could. We survived. You could even say we came out of it better than when we went in. So really, the matter of your overreacting pretty much becomes moot."

***

"If you knew Aikido better, you'd understand more. But that's beside the pont." He sat there for a few minutes, quietly absorbing what she had said. Finally, he laid himself down on his back beside her and turned his head to look at her, face to face. "I promise I'm trying not to marinate. It just hurt my pride. Or my confidence. Or something. I'm about ready to give up and let Arden negotiate those things. He'd be willing."

***

"We're trying to stay alive, remember?" I lay next to him, took his hand. and squeezed it. "Arden can not be our negotiator. You saw how he was in the bunker. That was a good day for him. And things still went to hell. Something like this takes a little threat assessment. And before you think you suck at it, let me ask you something. You have a unique ability to find out if someone's bluffing. Did you take that option?”

***

"Yes. I didn't think he was bluffing."

***

"Then you based your decision on the best intel you could possibly get. In that case, make your move and don't second guess yourself. It's destructive to your confidence and your ability to make decisions."

***

He nodded. "It's different when it is just my life at stake. That's inconsequential. Having everyone else's life at stake is what scares the living hell out of me."

***

"That's exactly my position, every time we get mixed up in combat." Unable to resist any longer, I slipped my arms around him and held him close, breathing in his scent, and spoke into his shirt. "Had it just been me, I would have used my gun or my fists and it would have been over in two minutes. If it went south, it would only have been my head on the block. But with the rest of you there? And with Arden being a stubborn pigheaded govniuk about giving up his pistol? I was scared to death that he'd kill us over it. If Nika hadn't taken it from him, I would have. And lucky for him, it was her and not me. I would have hurt him for putting us in that position."

I looked at him then.

"The point is, being scared comes with the territory. That's nothing to fuss over. It's being able to act past the fear that's the important part. And you did."

***

"Maybe." Joshua understood that need to act. It still felt results oriented. They had gotten lucky this time. But it was despite what he had done, not because of it. He ran his hand through her dark hair. He loved being able to do that. It felt almost surreal having her with him. Like he had gotten something he didn't deserve. But that was his problem most of the time, wasn't it? Thinking that he didn't deserve whatever positive results life brought him. He just needed to remember that sometimes he did deserve them. And when he didn't do things right...

"...I'll just have to plan to do things better next time," Joshua voiced his thoughts.

***

The old maxim, No battle plan survives encounter with the enemy, was on the tip of my tongue and I bit it back. I didn't want to damage what confidence Joshua still had. Instead, I said, "Always. That's what generals do, even when the battles go well. Maybe we could all benefit from doing that, as a team."

As a team, instead of a bunch of misfits ...

"Maybe we could all benefit from doing that. What do you think?"

***

Hmmm, an interesting idea and a very Rina one. They could probably use to practice tactics some, learn to work together in combat situations. But there was one concern. "I think it would help, but I don't want us to become all formal and military or anything. I mean, we're a family. I want us to be a family and not a small tactical squad, if that makes sense."

***

I grinned up at him.

"If I had a credit for every time I thought the converse of that statement ...." I breathed a laugh. "I'd be one rich woman. Certainly rich enough to buy Nika a kick-ass ship. And lay in a supply of grenades," I added, tweaking him gently through his shirt. "But being organized doesn't preclude being family. Ask anyone with ten kids. They'll tell you. It's nothing short of necessary."

***

"Yeah, never really had my own family to reference. But I'll take your word for it." So how would they implement something like that? "Maybe we should sit down as a crew and discuss it."

***

"Everyone has to start somewhere," I said and caressed his face. His lack of family or to be more accurate, his lack of memory of them, was a sensitive issue with him. "And I think you're right, we should discuss it. Do you want me to take this to Nika?"

After all, she was used to my grousing about our lack of teamwork and it would take some of the pressure off Joshua if I went to her about it. The cynical side of me pointed out I was doing him no favors by sparing him the task and was trespassing into XO territory to boot. Nevertheless, I made the offer if only to show him my solidarity.

***

"I'll do it. That's my job. But thanks for offering." How did he get so lucky to stumble into her? She was so supportive. He grabbed her hand and gave it a big kiss. "I love you, you know," Joshua said seriously. "Thanks for being there when I'm uncertain. We'll get it all sorted out. Heck, maybe we can avoid getting into any more life threatening situations from now on." And he laughed at the likelihood of that ever coming to pass.

***

"I love you back." I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. "And come to me anytime. It's what having your partner's back is all about."

***

"You know that I will." The kiss was nice, sending tingling across his cheeks and down his neck. Even the simple things from her overwhelmed him these days. Yep, definitely in love, not that it was really in doubt. He knew it would eventually calm down, but until then he was going to revel in it. The logging camp incident hadn't been all bad, if it led to this, he thought.

Joshua returned her kiss with one of his own and said, "I know I can trust you to kick my butt if I'm planning anything stupid."

***

"True. Let's hope I won't have to," I said with a little smile just for him. "It's a nice butt and it deserves better than that from me."

And I pinched his ass.

***


Go back to: Timeline Season Four, April 2521 to Dec 2521

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