Taking Command
Terri and I banged this out in a fast but sweet conversation. Like our last one, it had things that needed saying but didn't need a lot of set-up. Thanks, Terri!--Maer
The moon was high. Nika sat in a chair near the porch watching the celestial body climb. It was peaceful. Considering that they'd just had to tell Sheik al Tabr that his Companion --- or was he a Companion any longer? --- was playing him. Staging a coup. Or attempting to. Anyway, taking that into account, it was far more peaceful than Nika had a right to expect. She held a glass in her hand sipping from it slowly. She was debating how to approach Rina when the dark-haired engineer stepped out into the evening. Nika could tell without looking -- being blind for a few months had done wonders for her ability to identify her crewmates by their footsteps. Without turning her head the blond asked into the quiet night, "You okay?"
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"I've been better," I said softly, closing the door behind me. I stepped to the rail and leaned out, looking at the sky. "I've also been worse. How did he take it?"
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"Took it about as well as you can expect anyone to," Nika offered. She set her drink down and looked toward Rina. A faint smile quirked her lips. "You know.... we had a conversation not so long ago that I've been sittin' here giggling about as I revisit it."
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"Oh really?" I turned around and parked a hip on the rail. "Feel like sharing? I could use a laugh right now."
Though Joshua and I had already talked it over, I still felt uneasy over my meeting with the Sheikh. Had I given in to my inner demons, the Sheikh would now be history and we would either be in a lot of trouble or be hailed as heroes. Neither outcome would have absolved me of murdering a decent man. Or at least, as decent as his culture and his status allowed him to be. Based on what I'd found out, he was quite decent indeed.
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"Well," Nika began, her drawl evident. "Let's see... we had two out of three on the sheep-rapin', bride-stealin' ninjas.... and now you've gone and stripped off for a perfect stranger. I'm startin' to wonder if I slipped to a new Verse while I was sleepin'! Especially since you were the one who made a joke about it, and it still happened!"
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"Yeah, well." I shrugged and looked out at the night. "The Universe and I have a complicated relationship. Whenever I say something stupid, She makes good on it. Given that I'm a bitch, you can see where this tends to be problematic." I shrugged again. "I'm Russian. I can take it. I'm just sorry for everyone else who caught flak over it. Really, I am." I looked back at Nika. "I never meant it as anything other than a joke, Nika. I am sorry beyond words that you had to go through the meat grinder with me over it."
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Awww! Nika moved to stand up, walking over to the railing with a faint smile. "Get over yourself, miss," she retorted, a gentle bump to Rina's hip. "Maybe sometimes we all do better when it's insane. Sure as hell knocked me out of my black hole, yeah?"
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"Hell, Nika, if that's all it took, I'd've said something monumentally stupid months ago."
I snorted a laugh and was glad the night hid the embarrassment that zipped through me. She's right you know. It's not all about you. It was a lesson that bore repeating, since it was a lesson that I had trouble learning. But it was beginning to sink in. Had it not, the Sheikh would now be dead.
"What do you think's happening right now? Palace coups are historically bloody. Failed ones, moreso." I didn't think the Sheikh would come for our heads, but heads would roll if he believed what Nika told him. To allow otherwise would be bad for discipline.
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The blond looked out into the night sky. "I don't know. He doesn't strike me as a man who wants much violence in his home. Not with his past." Nika paused. "But that doesn't mean he won't order death. And I'm not sure he's wrong to do so," she observed quietly. "I'm comfortable leaving that to him. It's not my call what he does with it. I'm hopin' that since we've done him a solid, it might predispose him to think far more kindly on us than Blue Sun, but...." She shrugged. "I'm not holdin' my breath necessarily either."
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"Fair enough. A man's home is his to put in order. As for the rest of it," I sighed and shrugged. "Might be that while he can't officially return the favor, unofficially he could slip us a deal under the table. Independent flagged ships landing here to pick up Thorium might look suspicious to the opposition. Thorium schlepped out on the backs of camels to one of his trading warehouses? Not so much. Of course," I added. "That's assuming he has camels. Or warehouses. Still … there are ways we could make it work, if the Independent High Command were of a mind. At least we know he won't shoot us on sight when next we show up."
I cut a look at her and grinned.
"Just strap me naked to the bow like a hood ornament. That should open a few doors."
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Nika laughed. "Some things have seriously changed over the past years, yeah?" She paused and then looked at her friend. "You do know that despite the fact that I sent you in there because he liked you.... I never wanted you to whore yourself. I had hoped that he'd be more inclined to talk to you than us." It does bother her. She once told Christian she'd never ask him to do that for the ship... and yet she felt like she'd asked it of Rina.
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"The man has over a hundred and sixty wives, Nika. He's clearly a collector. He's from a culture where that sort of thing is encouraged. Whoring me out was the farthest thing from your mind, but c'mon. Were he any other man in his position, how far would it have been from his? Don't," I said, anticipating what she'd say next. "Don't waste another minute feeling guilty. We're on-mission. You're the Captain. It was a command decision. I get that. Besides, you didn't force me to do anything I didn't feel I could handle. I wouldn't have liked handling it if it had gotten rough, but I nevertheless would have handled it. Okay?"
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Nika nodded slowly. "Fair enough," she said finally. "It's strange. Things feel... different. They shouldn't. But they do." In her captaincy, she meant.
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"It feels good to be back. There's a simplicity to being in the military that I've missed. The structure of it frees your head up, makes it easier to chart your course. Not that I'm saying it's permission to check your brain at the door. Far from it. It's just ... simpler." It was, actually. I nudged her with my hip. "Being a cog in a clearly defined military machine, with a clearly defined role gives me permission to stop tracking a hundred million things I'd otherwise feel compelled to track. God knows, my head can use a bit of housecleaning from time to time."
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Maybe that was what it was... Nika had to think about that for a bit. "Everyone's acknowledged me as captain for a damn long time," she said slowly. "But I think I'm not as comfortable having no checks and balances, if that makes sense. Having someone I report to makes me feel a little more at ease. Like if I royally mess it up, someone's going to be there to kick me for it?" That didn't sound quite right. "Maybe more that ... I feel better supported."
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"Stupid bitch." I reached over and pulled her in a hug and whispered into her hair. "You always had that."
She did. I'd been waiting for years for Nika to fully put her Captain's boots on but she'd always had my support. From the moment she took charge of the mutiny, now five years gone.
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Wrapping her arms around Rina, Nika smiled just a little and returned the hug tightly. "I know," she murmured. "But... I wasn't ready for it. I didn't know what to do with it. Being the final authority on anything felt... wrong. And while nothing's changed on board... being back in a position where someone else has to do some of the heavy lifting... as you say. Makes it simpler. Makes it so that I don't have to worry about every little thing all the time. Just the important ones."
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"Now you're talkin'," I said and hugged her back. "That's my Captain."
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There was a watery chuckle, and Nika couldn't help it. "Yeah... I guess maybe I really am," she admitted. The actions she'd taken here on the ground -- keeping full disclosure from the crew, talking only to Joshua until the situation became clearer -- those things finally sit well with her. "Took me long enough, huh?"
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"Yeah, well." I grinned and mussed her hair before we got too maudlin and embarrassed ourselves. "We love you anyway."
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Go back to: Season Seven, May 2523 --
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