The Blond Leading the Blind

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WHO: Nika and Joshua
WHERE: Gym, Summer's Gift
WHEN: 07 November, 2520


With a cargo and things settling down into the normal routine, Nika seemed also back to normal. Though there were no messages at Highgate when we left, she left a message with their route and a request for meeting coords if that rather large ship wants us to come to them. And all she could do at this point was stick close enough to be able to pick up messages if they came in. She keeps long hours, most of them in the bridge -- she does read novels, play music, other assorted things up there. When she's not in the bridge she has been in the gym either beating hell out of the punching bag or -- as now -- doing katas. She'd been at it for some time if the heavy sheen of sweat on her skin was any indicator. She was not dressed properly for such things, but a pair of sweatpants and a supportive sports top sufficed. Her blonde hair was, as always, pinned all the way up out of the way -- its full length is very rarely seen.

Joshua came into the gym, looking to start an aikido routine. It would be his first since borrowing Jackson and it was a key component to fully becoming Joshua again. He wasn't sure how exactly he would do it, but he wanted to try and find a way to incorporate his aikido routine into helping him come back from a borrowing. The two rituals weren't exactly the same, but like all rituals, both had a formalness and pattern to them he ought to be able to use.

But when he arrived at the gym, dressed in his lone t-shirt and pants, Nika was already there, already heavily into a workout by the look of things. Joshua was struck by how athletic she was - he usually saw her more laid back. Multiple layers, he reminded himself.

"Am I interrupting, Nika?" Joshua asked as he walked into the gym.

Though her crystalline blue eyes cut sideways to him, Nika finished the pattern of the kata she was in before stopping and answering him. Her breath came heavily as she padded toward her water bottle. "Not at all, Joshua. I was about done." There was not exactly enough room in the gym for two people to be moving around quite that much, so she yielded to floor mats to him. She studied him while she uncapped the bottle with a deft twist of her wrist and after she'd taken a long swallow she asked, "How're you doing? Coming back into your own head okay?"

He smiled and as he did, his newly growing beard itched, so he took a moment to scratch it. "You could say that."

He thought about Rina and the other night and the smile got a little bigger. "I'm doing very well, coming back quicker than I expected. Still working on adjusting to the slightly new look though."

There was a nod. Nika noticed the subtle differences, and in truth... she was somewhat grateful to see that he was making the face his own, the way *he* sees himself. She was grateful he *could* still make it his own. "I like the new look," she said in a musing tone. "Not entirely sure I'll like the beard, but we'll see." She grinned at him, his extra big smile bringing a speculative look to her expression that was quickly shuttered. "It's good to have you back."

"Thanks for not murdering me as Jackson," he said chuckling. "Looking back at the movie in my head, I was a real ass as Jackson sometimes."

He moved to the center of the gym and sat down, prepping to stretch. "Before, I didn't want to come back from a borrowing. Now, I couldn't wait. And that's not Jackson's fault. That's your fault. The crew, anyway."

Setting the bottle of water down and moving to the treadmill so she could walk to cool down, Nika smiled faintly. "Jackson had enough of Joshua when it counted," she replied mildly, referring to when she came looking for him after slipping away from Escobar. "Can't say I *liked* the guy much, but he wasn't such a bad sort. Just... wishy-washy." She started the treadmill and began to jog slowly on it. "Watching you get into his head, watching you *become* him was... unnerving," she admitted.

Joshua nodded. "To be honest with you, Nika, I expected everyone to freak out a little more than they did. I had thought Rina would go all twitchy on me, but she handled it well." He started stretching, reaching down to his toes. "And then, we'll get to go through this again whenever we get my brain scanned," he said casually, as if talking about going down to the story for some milk and eggs. "Can't stay on the ship if I can be triggered. But that's another day."

He switched legs and looked at Nika carefully. "Enough about me...How are *you* doing?" Whenever he had seen her, she had seemed slightly off, which could have been a result of the aforementioned Escobar incident. An instinct told him there was something more going on.

As she jogged slowly, Nika listened to him comment. Her smile was faint. "She didn't go twitchy because she *gets* it," she finally says. "I have the notion that Rina's face is not her original one, and that she understands the idea of long-term submersion in a role. Don't know that for a fact, but based on her reactions and what I know of her man and her past... I'd say it's a reasonable guess." She continued to run. "Eventually we'll get both you and Arden scanned, but it'll have to be someplace we trust. And so far, those are few and far between."

The change in topic shifted things back on her, and Nika wasn't excessively comfortable with that topic. "I'm fine," she told him between breaths. "Having to pay a bit closer attention to where we're going lately, though staying in-system keeps it simpler to be sure."

"But are you, really?" Joshua sat up from stretching and folded his legs under himself. "Fine, I mean. I get the feeling that maybe you're not. Talking could help." He wasn't sure whether he really expected her to talk. Nika's thing didn't seem to involve lengthy personal conversations about her problems. But he was her friend, at least he hoped he was and he wanted to help, if he could.

"I am... mostly." Nika smiled and slowed to a walk on the treadmill. Easier to talk while walking than running. "My personal business in Blue Sun is worrying me," she admitted. "My friend -- the one who was hurt on Miranda -- is apparently not recovering as well as we'd hoped. Shyla's summons didn't really give me any details except that it wasn't a physical issue."

He took in her body language, the expression on her face, the way she shifted as she walked. "This is the man you love?" He asked it, already knowing the answer. "Well, if it isn't a physical issue, then maybe it is something that your presence will solve. Just being there could help."

Nika fumbled a step, unused to anyone but Christian being quite that blatant about this kind of conversation. When she regained her footing, she laughed quietly. "From your lips to the ears of whatever gods are out there, Joshua." There was still worry, but perhaps something about the way he phrased that eased it -- it was a possibility that she hadn't really considered, bracing herself for the worst as she has been. "I think if it had been something urgent, she'd have found a way to get word to me sooner. Now it's just about waiting until messages can get back and forth on where to meet up."

He hesitated for a minute. "I make this offer not because I think it is necessary but just because I want you to have your options available." Joshua paused again. "If there is something odd going on mentally with him, my Reader abilities, for what they're worth, are available to you if you think they would help."

He shook his head. "But I think that you're right. If it was something serious, Shyla would've moved heaven and earth to reach you, I think. At least if your relationship with her is anything like your relationship with this crew."

Nika uncapped her water and drank from it while she walked. "They're family," she said simply. And then she grinned faintly, her expression affectionate. "They'll give you enough rope to hang yourself, kick your ass when you need it, give you comfort when you let them. I miss them like no one's business," she admitted. "Those months on Miranda were... amazing. Damn hard, terrifying, horrible, but... it was like coming home. And I don't want to go that long ever again before coming home."

"I'm home now," he said simply.

He stood up and started to go through a series of warmup maneuvers, making sure to face Nika. "So," he said as he started into the aiki-taiso warm-up exercises. They involved stretching and proper breathing technique, but would, if done properly, run him through all the techniques necessary to perform his routine. "To change the subject, can I tell you that you've confused the living crap out of Arden?"

Nika hit the button to stop the treadmill, stepping off it with her water bottle with her breathing now leveled off and her heart rate lowered. "Really?" Her tone is dry, as if it is unsurprising and giving the impression that she might be waiting for Joshua to take her to task. Setting her water bottle down, she seemed to settle in for a well-meaning tongue-lashing of some sort. She moved to sit cross-legged on the floor and began pulling pins from her hair in preparation for catching a shower when he was through.

"Not it should surprise you or anything," he said. He was a little distracted by her pulling the pins out from her hair. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't ever remember seeing her with her hair down. He shook his head slightly to regain his focus. "Love is not a topic that most of us are terribly clear on, and Arden struggles with emotional situations than most. But I sympathize...no, I guess I empathize with Arden's situation."

He stopped his warm-up exercises; he couldn't quite concentrate on them like he should. He went and sat down cross-legged in front of Nika. "We feel what we feel, right? Nobody to blame, but we just muddle through, taking the moments as we can get them. Enjoying them for what they are and what they give." His mind was drifting to Rina again. It was going to be harder than he thought it would be to give her the space she needed, just taking what she was willing to give. _But you knew that going in..._

It was a relief to release the heavy mass of blond hair from its confines. The braid that she keeps so securely pinned into what looks like a simply French braid that dangles just to the base of her neck is in fact a rope of blonde that literally falls to brush the floor next to her hips. Her fingers deftly unbraided the skein and ran through it, not noticing Joshua's preoccupation with something that is as normal to her as drying off her skin after a good workout. There is a tension to her expression that eases slightly, though, an indication that perhaps her hair's been caught up and pinned for too long, causing a mild headache.

"I can't presume to understand how Arden processes emotion, Joshua. I can only do as he and I have done since this relationship began," she said as she combed out the long locks with her fingers absently. "I can be honest with him about what I think, what I feel, and what it *means* to me. He can take that information and do with it as he will." She looked at him with wary blue eyes as he sat in front of her. "I can hope that in the end I don't hurt him... though I think I know that ultimately I will. Just as you and Rina have to know that ultimately she'll hurt you," she said calmly. "She won't want to. Won't mean to. But it'll happen. And you have to decide if you're going to continue in spite of that knowledge."

Joshua shook his head again. "Wow, that hair is amazing, Nika. Sorry, just...wow."

He scratched the back of his head in thought. "Anyway, I know I'm going to get hurt. And *how*." The level of potential hurt had definitely increased more than he had anticipated.

"It's funny, for all that Arden and I are in the same emotional spot... you and I, Nika, are more alike in what we know. You know you'll probably end up hurting him, just like I know that I'm going to end up hurt. But getting hurt is okay if you understand the bargain you're making. I'm pretty sure Rina hasn't grasped that yet. Not sure Arden has either."

He laughed softly. "I use to imagine what life might be like outside of the Academy. Pretty sure I never pictured it quite this complicated."

There was a moment of looking confused at the expression, and then Nika laughed. "Thanks," she replied. "I think every once in a while about cutting it off -- it's entirely unpractical out here. But you know... it's basically the one vanity I possess, I think. Christian threatened to kick me if I did more than trim it up." She shrugged easily.

Back to the other part of the conversation, though, Nika turned her attention more fully to it and let her hair just settle. It felt good to let it just hang for a while. It would feel even better to get a shower and comb it out well. "Life is one of those things you just have to live. No one can tell you how complicated and messy it really is," she commented mildly. "I'm glad to know that you're not going into things blindly, though. And ... Arden may not emotionally understand it, and that's why I try to be very clear and very honest with him. Whether that will do either of us any good? Hell, I don't know, darlin. We just do as we can." She smiles.

"If it makes you feel better, I don't think he's in too deep. Me, on the other hand..." He smiled. "But like I said, I know what I'm getting into. Or at least I thought I did. But there's no amount of pain that would make me think it wasn't worth it."

He tilted his head a little bit. "Any advice for me? You've known her longer than I have."

Nika laughed quietly. "Walk softly and carry a big wrench to brain her with?" she suggested facetiously.

On a more serious note, Nika said, "I'm probably not the person to give the best advice on this, Joshua. I know her but... there are parts of each of us that we don't allow others to see. And that side of Rina is one of them. The only thing I can suggest is that you're both as honest as you can be. It's stood me in good stead most of the time."

"Is Rina ever anything but honest?" Joshua asked rhetorically. "I have to walk a fine line. I want to be honest with her, but if I tell her how I honestly feel without finding a way to blunt it, she's going to freak."

He shrugged. "Eh, we'll figure out. And we'll make sure to keep it off duty, captain." And he winked at her.

Nika laughed when he said it. "Yeah.... you gotta tread carefully with her sometimes. She's... touchy ain't the right word. Very literal. You have to tell her exactly what you mean in just the right words, else the woman kinda goes sideways."

And she rolled her eyes as she stood up. "Now you're doing it too -- callin' me captain when it suits you to be a pain in my ass. Good for you," she quipped with a grin. There was a hint of serious to her, though, when she said mildly, "The only other thing I can suggest is that you treat it with respect -- and if things start lookin' like they're going to split the crew, that's usually the time to stop." She shrugged. "Take the advice for what it's worth." She picked up her water bottle and headed for the door. "I'm gonna go wash this mop."

"I could never do anything less, Nika." Which was true. He couldn't live with himself if he did otherwise and even thinking about splitting the crew made him a little queasy. "You're my family. Not going to do anything that'll mess that up."

He stood back up to get ready to try warm up exercises again. "Hope there is plenty of warm water for you."

She laughed as she walked out, and it occurred to Nika to wonder what Christian or, gods forbid, Mike might think of Rina's rather abrupt 180. She wasn't even sure what she thought, or whether she thought Rina ought to worry about what one or the other man might think. But perhaps it was time to grab her friend's ear and make sure she wasn't just doing a whole girls-gone-wild kind of thing on Joshua. The engineer was very protective of him, so that would be out of character -- but then again, so was initiating a shipboard fling. Rina, Rina, Rina, she sighed internally. Where's Christian when I need him??

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