1001 and more Things that the worst party in Eberron is forbidden from doing/page 6

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  2. I was drunk, there is no Batman on this ship.
  3. The galley is not a bathroom.
  4. You will not call an Inspired ambassador "dreamy".
  5. You can turn an Inspired to stone. However, calling them a "marble quori" afterwards is just wrong.
  6. No, your dad does not run a secret agency.
  7. And even if he did, it would not be fighting misleadingly-named evil outsiders.
  8. And even if it did that, no warforged painted purple would be involved.
  9. Duct tape, cereal boxes and parts harvested from the trash can not be used to make any kind of construct.
  10. And it's spelled fear, not ph34r!
  11. You do not have an incarnate conscience that sits on your shoulder.
  12. I don't care if you strap wings on your familiar!
  13. You may not suck all the monsters out of Khyber with an enormous vacuum cleaner.
  14. The Silver Flame are not to be called regarding agricultural pests.
  15. Reforged do not get visited by a blue fairy one night and become real boys.
  16. "It's not big and it's not clever" does not translate as "now that would be SOOO KEWL!"
  17. The Quori are not led by a long-haired goth who looks like Robert Smith.
  18. You shall not test if warforged have souls by offering one to a Rajah for ultimate power.
  19. Warforged do not have to be rented.
  20. I should stop collecting rent for warforged.
  21. Tossing alchemist's fire in the flame elemental ring does not make the ship go faster.
  22. It makes a pretty bang, though.
  23. Magnetizing the warforged is not funny.
  24. Sleeping with the paladin chick is not a 'religious experience'.
  25. You may not have a miniature giant space hamster as your familiar.
  26. ...or your animal companion.
  27. That one's been done. Twice. Give it up.
  28. No, Trent Oster still doesn't want to give you your job back.
  29. No, you may not usurp control of all the undead in Karrnath and use them to purge all of the "Un-Darkly Cute" from the world. Speaking as the former head of the Church of Miho, that power is mine and mine alone.
  30. The Warforged does not have a "rejection mode".
  31. Not even while raging.
  32. The Artificer may not invent the Killstick, Chibi Killstick, or any variant therof. Crowiko beat you to it.
  33. Any young, jailbait female necromancers with mental issues are not allowed to wear hair ribbons.
  34. The ultimate source of your power is not the Necrowombicon.
  35. It is, however, mine.
  36. Yes, Duct Tape is an effective weapon against Stick golems.
  37. You may not summon fanboy armies.
  38. Or ex-Idols.
  39. You may not make any sort of "URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT!!" unless your name is Scott Douglas "Draegos" Thompson.
  40. If the Captain is sick and calls off the day's activities, it is not a DPD (Dead Pirate Day).
  41. 6o 3z o\/\ 73h n0()8z, d00d.
    [2621: My brother, you must provide subtitles for they who are not among our elite order.]
  42. Oh look, more bombs.
  43. Next time, use shorter taunts.
  44. Okay! Enough MegaTokyo references already!
  45. You are not to summon Cthulhu.
  46. Not are you to have the artificer make a scroll of hold divine being.
  47. And then use it while the bard plays elevator music.
  48. Nor is Cthulhu to be introduced to any Daelkyr.
  49. I have so little sanity left from last time.
  50. You will disregard any similarity between the Silver Flame and the Golden Throne.
  51. Even if the bound divine beings in either have told you different.
  52. No, the quori don't have drinking games. # Nor can you get them drunk.
  53. I swear that Kalashtar was sober when I left her...
  54. Painting the Warforged red will not make him go faster.
  55. Especially if he has an Admantine body.
  56. It is wrong to tell him this.
  57. Same goes for painting the ship red.
  58. We are not Karrnathi.
  59. The ship stays green.
  60. Because I am Captain and I say so.
  61. The artificer is not to be referred to as that "Rambling Wreck from Cannith Tech, with skills in cogs and gears".
  62. You will not get a Lycanthrope to infect Aurala.
  63. Or for any other purpose.
  64. Especially not that...
  65. You will not get Dragonmark Tattoos.
  66. We have enough trouble as it is.
  67. Renegade Mastermakers are not Cyborgs.
  68. Nor are they named Batou or Motoko Kusanagi.
  69. Riedrans have no trouble with Rs or Ls.
  70. Riedrans are not stupid.
  71. Just because they are the only ones who don't understand that thier "inspired' leaders are evil demons from the relams of dreams and that the Kalashtar are the good guys... Uh, actually, I take back 2651.
  72. Riedrans are stupid.
  73. Telling your familiar to "go for the beer" is never, ever a good thing.
  74. Hamster familiars give a -2 penalty on all saves to resist drunkenness, and render you immune to alcohol poisoning.
  75. Telling the crewmates with hamster familiars this is a keelhaulable offense.
  76. The artificer MAY NOT gain warforged cohorts with the Adamantine body feat, kill them, then salvage them for the 'raw material'.
  77. The Forgotten Freedom is NOT fully submersible.
  78. It is wrong to tell the warforged this.
  79. No, not even if we get a water elemental bound to the ring.
  80. Hamsters are to be kept separate at all times. We don't have enough food for another tribble parody.
  81. No one on this ship can kill people with their brains.
  82. Yes, is wrong to tell the warforged this.
  83. Oh, I'm sorry-- no one on this ship without a great bloody quori stuck in their head can kill people with their brains.
  84. None of the major holy texts of the Silver Flame or the Host are fuzzy about kneecaps.
  85. You may not refers to the shifters as trained apes... without the training.
  86. Being struck with water balloons does not cause warforged to go on murderous rampages.
  87. And yes, it is wrong to tell them this.
  88. The artificer may not craft anything while drunk.
  89. Especially after the "Captain's Undergarments" golem we had a few weeks back.
  90. After the "Girdle of Reverse Masculinity/Femininity" incident, the artificer may not craft anything at all.
  91. Especially garments of enhance Masculinity/Femininity.
  92. The artificer will deconstruct that golem and give me my stuff back immediately.
  93. The ship is not a Zig, Nor shall it be moved in a manner denoting this.
  94. Being a Ranger and having the power attack feat does not make you a Power Ranger.
  95. Even if you have the suit.
  96. Your Warforged ally's name is not Big O, it is not necessary to scream "SHOWTIME!" every time he attacks.
  97. Members of House Deneith who take levels in the Renegade Mastermaker prestige class shall not be referred to as Robocop.
  98. This title is reserved for members of the Sharn watch who take them.
  99. It is somehow right and noble to tell the warforged this.
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