SPARCS:Kibbitzing003 - Revision history

TonyLB: Adding some more teeth

2005-12-14T04:52:19Z

Adding some more teeth

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:52, 14 December 2005
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	:I thought the Amy/Shareeta dialogue needed some spice -- gives a good reason to break away from the dialogue, too, if Joel thinks Amy's about to go all "Carrie" on the place. [[User:DannyK\|DannyK]] 20:05, 13 December 2005 (PST)		:I thought the Amy/Shareeta dialogue needed some spice -- gives a good reason to break away from the dialogue, too, if Joel thinks Amy's about to go all "Carrie" on the place. [[User:DannyK\|DannyK]] 20:05, 13 December 2005 (PST)


			: JOE: Hell yeah! Let's go! Right here!
			: JOEL: (shushing him) Are you crazy? We're already doing damage control from Frost, and now you want a full on brawl in public?
			: JOE: (shaking his head) Man, I give you a chance to show that you're about more than that stuff.
			: JOEL: Hey! Just because I care how we look doesn't mean it's '''all''' I care about ...
			: JOE: Whatever, man. You stick to your child-star thing. It's what you know how to do. Me, I know how to fight. And it looks like this town '''needs''' a hero. Shareeta? You done here?
			: SHAREETA: Abso'''lute'''ly.
			:: -- [[User:TonyLB\|TonyLB]] 20:52, 13 December 2005 (PST)

DannyK at 04:05, 14 December 2005

2005-12-14T04:05:17Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:05, 14 December 2005
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	SHAREETA: So you and he aren't... you know?		SHAREETA: So you and he aren't... you know?

	AMY: What? No, no.		AMY: What? No, no. I barely know him.

	SHAREETA: So you wouldn't mind if I...?		SHAREETA: So you wouldn't mind if I...?

			: AMY: I don't think it's a good idea. He seems kind of creepy to me, you should stay away --
			:SHAREETA: What? You get first refusal on any new boys in school? I think he's fun.
			:AMY: Shary, [i]stay away from him[/i]!
			:SHAREETA: You're not my mom, Amy! You're not even my sister! You're like this foster child--
			:(sounds of shattering crockery from off-camera)
			:AMY (turns her back, face in her hands): Just go, OK. Take Joe with you.

	Amy sits back down and lays her head on the table.		Amy sits back down and lays her head on the table.
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	and ... not sure where to take it from there. Someone's got to come in and break it up, maybe, but it kind of depends on how we want to cut to Miss Fermoy's scene -- what's that going to be, a debriefing?		and ... not sure where to take it from there. Someone's got to come in and break it up, maybe, but it kind of depends on how we want to cut to Miss Fermoy's scene -- what's that going to be, a debriefing?

			:I thought the Amy/Shareeta dialogue needed some spice -- gives a good reason to break away from the dialogue, too, if Joel thinks Amy's about to go all "Carrie" on the place. [[User:DannyK\|DannyK]] 20:05, 13 December 2005 (PST)

James Holloway at 23:34, 13 December 2005

2005-12-13T23:34:30Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:34, 13 December 2005
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	: Amy could always deputize Joe to haul Joel back -- setting up a confrontation between the two nicely, while she talks to Shareeta. We could even have a thing where we cut back and forth between the two arguments. At some point, there ought to be a full-on "What the Hell were you THINKING?" argument between Amy and Joe, but it doesn't have to be in this scene. [[User:DannyK\|DannyK]] 07:25, 9 December 2005 (PST)		: Amy could always deputize Joe to haul Joel back -- setting up a confrontation between the two nicely, while she talks to Shareeta. We could even have a thing where we cut back and forth between the two arguments. At some point, there ought to be a full-on "What the Hell were you THINKING?" argument between Amy and Joe, but it doesn't have to be in this scene. [[User:DannyK\|DannyK]] 07:25, 9 December 2005 (PST)
	:: Well, we are kind of running out of Budget, so I'd like to have the dust-up be this scene if possible. Let's ditch Shareeta somehow -- awkwardly is fine; Joe could trade on his newfound "relationship" with her to do so, at the expense of looking like a pushy jerk -- and get to the yelling. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 07:48, 9 December 2005 (PST)		:: Well, we are kind of running out of Budget, so I'd like to have the dust-up be this scene if possible. Let's ditch Shareeta somehow -- awkwardly is fine; Joe could trade on his newfound "relationship" with her to do so, at the expense of looking like a pushy jerk -- and get to the yelling. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 07:48, 9 December 2005 (PST)


			==Draft version of the confrontation==

			OK, so the results are: Joe looks like a hostile troublemaker, Joel fails to convince him that he had nothing to do with the scam, Amy doubts her place in Shareeta's affections.

			Everyone is miserable!

			(continuing Joel's argument with Joe)

			JOEL: Of course you can't! Come on, man, don't be stupid.

			JOE: Oh, so now I'm stupid! Not stupid enough to fall for your little scheme, though.

			JOEL: That's not what I said! Dude, why are you doing this? I don't ''have'' a little scheme. Quit acting like you just figured out some big secret -- you're just starting this because you're pissed we left you out of the robot fight and hurt your feelings or whatever.

			(cut to the girls)

			SHAREETA: Yeah, it was Joe who suggested we come and tell you guys. I was going to go to the newspaper about it -- I feel the public has a right to know, don't you? -- but he was worried it would make trouble for me and Mom. He's very thoughtful.

			AMY (eyes narrow): I can see that.

			SHAREETA: Yeah -- how come you never told me about him?

			AMY: I just met him ... and I guess it turns out I don't really know him all that well.

			(back to the guys)

			JOEL: I don't even understand what you're doing here. If all you're going to do is rag on the team and tear us down, then how are we supposed to help you?

			JOE: Help me what, learn to rough up dummy opponents? I don't think you get it, chief. I'm here to help you. You guys need a real fighter to show you a thing or two.

			JOEL: Oh, that's it. You really want a rematch, don't you?

			JOE: What, one ass-whupping a day not enough for you?

			(and)

			SHAREETA: So you and he aren't... you know?

			AMY: What? No, no.

			SHAREETA: So you wouldn't mind if I...?

			Amy sits back down and lays her head on the table.

			AMY (quietly): Reality is illusion. Reality is illusion. Reality is illusion.

			and ... not sure where to take it from there. Someone's got to come in and break it up, maybe, but it kind of depends on how we want to cut to Miss Fermoy's scene -- what's that going to be, a debriefing?

James Holloway at 15:48, 9 December 2005

2005-12-09T15:48:11Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:48, 9 December 2005
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	And meanwhile, Amy's got to get rid of Shareeta somehow, and she's not going to want to miss THIS.[[User:Azrianni\|Azrianni]] 06:12, 9 December 2005 (PST)		And meanwhile, Amy's got to get rid of Shareeta somehow, and she's not going to want to miss THIS.[[User:Azrianni\|Azrianni]] 06:12, 9 December 2005 (PST)
	: Amy could always deputize Joe to haul Joel back -- setting up a confrontation between the two nicely, while she talks to Shareeta. We could even have a thing where we cut back and forth between the two arguments. At some point, there ought to be a full-on "What the Hell were you THINKING?" argument between Amy and Joe, but it doesn't have to be in this scene. [[User:DannyK\|DannyK]] 07:25, 9 December 2005 (PST)		: Amy could always deputize Joe to haul Joel back -- setting up a confrontation between the two nicely, while she talks to Shareeta. We could even have a thing where we cut back and forth between the two arguments. At some point, there ought to be a full-on "What the Hell were you THINKING?" argument between Amy and Joe, but it doesn't have to be in this scene. [[User:DannyK\|DannyK]] 07:25, 9 December 2005 (PST)
			:: Well, we are kind of running out of Budget, so I'd like to have the dust-up be this scene if possible. Let's ditch Shareeta somehow -- awkwardly is fine; Joe could trade on his newfound "relationship" with her to do so, at the expense of looking like a pushy jerk -- and get to the yelling. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 07:48, 9 December 2005 (PST)

DannyK at 15:25, 9 December 2005

2005-12-09T15:25:00Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:25, 9 December 2005
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	OK, so the current scene's agenda is that Joe, Amy, and Joel have a big old fight about Joe not fitting in, right? Right now we've got Livewire in a tearing fury against Exemplar, but I don't think Joe knows that, so he might go after him with a "don't you walk away from me" kind of a thing going on. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 04:26, 9 December 2005 (PST)		OK, so the current scene's agenda is that Joe, Amy, and Joel have a big old fight about Joe not fitting in, right? Right now we've got Livewire in a tearing fury against Exemplar, but I don't think Joe knows that, so he might go after him with a "don't you walk away from me" kind of a thing going on. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 04:26, 9 December 2005 (PST)
	[[User:Miss Fermoy\|Miss Fermoy]] That will make things interesting because he could just haul him back, but that runs the risk of it ending up in a brawl and either one of them nearly using their powers, nice amount of tension.		[[User:Miss Fermoy\|Miss Fermoy]] That will make things interesting because he could just haul him back, but that runs the risk of it ending up in a brawl and either one of them nearly using their powers, nice amount of tension.
			: Amy's the one with the Control issue, so it sorta seems like she should grab Joel by the collar and try to haul him back, but she's probably also wanting to talk to Shareeta... I'm torn. [[User:DannyK\|DannyK]] 07:25, 9 December 2005 (PST)

	And meanwhile, Amy's got to get rid of Shareeta somehow, and she's not going to want to miss THIS.[[User:Azrianni\|Azrianni]] 06:12, 9 December 2005 (PST)		And meanwhile, Amy's got to get rid of Shareeta somehow, and she's not going to want to miss THIS.[[User:Azrianni\|Azrianni]] 06:12, 9 December 2005 (PST)
			: Amy could always deputize Joe to haul Joel back -- setting up a confrontation between the two nicely, while she talks to Shareeta. We could even have a thing where we cut back and forth between the two arguments. At some point, there ought to be a full-on "What the Hell were you THINKING?" argument between Amy and Joe, but it doesn't have to be in this scene. [[User:DannyK\|DannyK]] 07:25, 9 December 2005 (PST)

Azrianni at 14:12, 9 December 2005

2005-12-09T14:12:44Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:12, 9 December 2005
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	OK, so the current scene's agenda is that Joe, Amy, and Joel have a big old fight about Joe not fitting in, right? Right now we've got Livewire in a tearing fury against Exemplar, but I don't think Joe knows that, so he might go after him with a "don't you walk away from me" kind of a thing going on. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 04:26, 9 December 2005 (PST)		OK, so the current scene's agenda is that Joe, Amy, and Joel have a big old fight about Joe not fitting in, right? Right now we've got Livewire in a tearing fury against Exemplar, but I don't think Joe knows that, so he might go after him with a "don't you walk away from me" kind of a thing going on. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 04:26, 9 December 2005 (PST)
	[[User:Miss Fermoy\|Miss Fermoy]] That will make things interesting because he could just haul him back, but that runs the risk of it ending up in a brawl and either one of them nearly using their powers, nice amount of tension.		[[User:Miss Fermoy\|Miss Fermoy]] That will make things interesting because he could just haul him back, but that runs the risk of it ending up in a brawl and either one of them nearly using their powers, nice amount of tension.

			And meanwhile, Amy's got to get rid of Shareeta somehow, and she's not going to want to miss THIS.[[User:Azrianni\|Azrianni]] 06:12, 9 December 2005 (PST)

Miss Fermoy at 13:23, 9 December 2005

2005-12-09T13:23:59Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:23, 9 December 2005
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	OK, so the current scene's agenda is that Joe, Amy, and Joel have a big old fight about Joe not fitting in, right? Right now we've got Livewire in a tearing fury against Exemplar, but I don't think Joe knows that, so he might go after him with a "don't you walk away from me" kind of a thing going on. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 04:26, 9 December 2005 (PST)		OK, so the current scene's agenda is that Joe, Amy, and Joel have a big old fight about Joe not fitting in, right? Right now we've got Livewire in a tearing fury against Exemplar, but I don't think Joe knows that, so he might go after him with a "don't you walk away from me" kind of a thing going on. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 04:26, 9 December 2005 (PST)
			[[User:Miss Fermoy\|Miss Fermoy]] That will make things interesting because he could just haul him back, but that runs the risk of it ending up in a brawl and either one of them nearly using their powers, nice amount of tension.

James Holloway at 12:26, 9 December 2005

2005-12-09T12:26:55Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:26, 9 December 2005
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	OK, so the current scene's agenda is that Joe, Amy, and Joel have a big old fight about Joe not fitting in, right? Right now we've got Livewire in a tearing fury against Exemplar, but I don't think Joe knows that, so he might go after him with a "don't you walk away from me" kind of a thing going on. -- 04:26, 9 December 2005 (PST)		OK, so the current scene's agenda is that Joe, Amy, and Joel have a big old fight about Joe not fitting in, right? Right now we've got Livewire in a tearing fury against Exemplar, but I don't think Joe knows that, so he might go after him with a "don't you walk away from me" kind of a thing going on. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 04:26, 9 December 2005 (PST)

James Holloway at 12:26, 9 December 2005

2005-12-09T12:26:42Z

New page

OK, so the current scene's agenda is that Joe, Amy, and Joel have a big old fight about Joe not fitting in, right? Right now we've got Livewire in a tearing fury against Exemplar, but I don't think Joe knows that, so he might go after him with a "don't you walk away from me" kind of a thing going on. -- 04:26, 9 December 2005 (PST)

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:48, 9 December 2005
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	And meanwhile, Amy's got to get rid of Shareeta somehow, and she's not going to want to miss THIS.[[User:Azrianni\|Azrianni]] 06:12, 9 December 2005 (PST)		And meanwhile, Amy's got to get rid of Shareeta somehow, and she's not going to want to miss THIS.[[User:Azrianni\|Azrianni]] 06:12, 9 December 2005 (PST)
	: Amy could always deputize Joe to haul Joel back -- setting up a confrontation between the two nicely, while she talks to Shareeta. We could even have a thing where we cut back and forth between the two arguments. At some point, there ought to be a full-on "What the Hell were you THINKING?" argument between Amy and Joe, but it doesn't have to be in this scene. [[User:DannyK\|DannyK]] 07:25, 9 December 2005 (PST)		: Amy could always deputize Joe to haul Joel back -- setting up a confrontation between the two nicely, while she talks to Shareeta. We could even have a thing where we cut back and forth between the two arguments. At some point, there ought to be a full-on "What the Hell were you THINKING?" argument between Amy and Joe, but it doesn't have to be in this scene. [[User:DannyK\|DannyK]] 07:25, 9 December 2005 (PST)
			:: Well, we are kind of running out of Budget, so I'd like to have the dust-up be this scene if possible. Let's ditch Shareeta somehow -- awkwardly is fine; Joe could trade on his newfound "relationship" with her to do so, at the expense of looking like a pushy jerk -- and get to the yelling. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 07:48, 9 December 2005 (PST)

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:25, 9 December 2005
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	OK, so the current scene's agenda is that Joe, Amy, and Joel have a big old fight about Joe not fitting in, right? Right now we've got Livewire in a tearing fury against Exemplar, but I don't think Joe knows that, so he might go after him with a "don't you walk away from me" kind of a thing going on. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 04:26, 9 December 2005 (PST)		OK, so the current scene's agenda is that Joe, Amy, and Joel have a big old fight about Joe not fitting in, right? Right now we've got Livewire in a tearing fury against Exemplar, but I don't think Joe knows that, so he might go after him with a "don't you walk away from me" kind of a thing going on. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 04:26, 9 December 2005 (PST)
	[[User:Miss Fermoy\|Miss Fermoy]] That will make things interesting because he could just haul him back, but that runs the risk of it ending up in a brawl and either one of them nearly using their powers, nice amount of tension.		[[User:Miss Fermoy\|Miss Fermoy]] That will make things interesting because he could just haul him back, but that runs the risk of it ending up in a brawl and either one of them nearly using their powers, nice amount of tension.
			: Amy's the one with the Control issue, so it sorta seems like she should grab Joel by the collar and try to haul him back, but she's probably also wanting to talk to Shareeta... I'm torn. [[User:DannyK\|DannyK]] 07:25, 9 December 2005 (PST)

	And meanwhile, Amy's got to get rid of Shareeta somehow, and she's not going to want to miss THIS.[[User:Azrianni\|Azrianni]] 06:12, 9 December 2005 (PST)		And meanwhile, Amy's got to get rid of Shareeta somehow, and she's not going to want to miss THIS.[[User:Azrianni\|Azrianni]] 06:12, 9 December 2005 (PST)
			: Amy could always deputize Joe to haul Joel back -- setting up a confrontation between the two nicely, while she talks to Shareeta. We could even have a thing where we cut back and forth between the two arguments. At some point, there ought to be a full-on "What the Hell were you THINKING?" argument between Amy and Joe, but it doesn't have to be in this scene. [[User:DannyK\|DannyK]] 07:25, 9 December 2005 (PST)

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:12, 9 December 2005
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	OK, so the current scene's agenda is that Joe, Amy, and Joel have a big old fight about Joe not fitting in, right? Right now we've got Livewire in a tearing fury against Exemplar, but I don't think Joe knows that, so he might go after him with a "don't you walk away from me" kind of a thing going on. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 04:26, 9 December 2005 (PST)		OK, so the current scene's agenda is that Joe, Amy, and Joel have a big old fight about Joe not fitting in, right? Right now we've got Livewire in a tearing fury against Exemplar, but I don't think Joe knows that, so he might go after him with a "don't you walk away from me" kind of a thing going on. -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 04:26, 9 December 2005 (PST)
	[[User:Miss Fermoy\|Miss Fermoy]] That will make things interesting because he could just haul him back, but that runs the risk of it ending up in a brawl and either one of them nearly using their powers, nice amount of tension.		[[User:Miss Fermoy\|Miss Fermoy]] That will make things interesting because he could just haul him back, but that runs the risk of it ending up in a brawl and either one of them nearly using their powers, nice amount of tension.

			And meanwhile, Amy's got to get rid of Shareeta somehow, and she's not going to want to miss THIS.[[User:Azrianni\|Azrianni]] 06:12, 9 December 2005 (PST)