SPARCs:Kibbitzing008 - Revision history

GORT: Reverted edits by 222.83.215.36 (Talk); changed back to last version by TonyLB

2009-01-08T05:03:19Z

Reverted edits by 222.83.215.36 (Talk); changed back to last version by TonyLB

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:03, 8 January 2009
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	~~coroldomv~~
	=== Scene 008: Gunslinger penetrates SPARTA ===		=== Scene 008: Gunslinger penetrates SPARTA ===

222.83.215.36: trcabolib

2009-01-08T04:36:31Z

trcabolib

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:36, 8 January 2009
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			coroldomv
	=== Scene 008: Gunslinger penetrates SPARTA ===		=== Scene 008: Gunslinger penetrates SPARTA ===

TonyLB: Responded to comments

2006-04-28T18:58:45Z

Responded to comments

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:58, 28 April 2006
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	::JOEL: ....		::JOEL: ....

	::Gunslinger taps a few more keys on the keyboard. Information pops up on the screen for the relocated Victoria and Chester ~~Bullit~~, now Angela and Jeff Spitz. A photo (clearly recent) of little Jeff Spitz fills in pixel-line by pixel line. Gunslinger takes a sharp, surprised little breath. Jeff is wrestling a golden retriever. He's lost one of his baby teeth, front and center.		::Gunslinger taps a few more keys on the keyboard. Information pops up on the screen for the relocated Victoria and Chester Clayton, now Angela and Jeff Spitz. A photo (clearly recent) of little Jeff Spitz fills in pixel-line by pixel line. Gunslinger takes a sharp, surprised little breath. Jeff is wrestling a golden retriever. He's lost one of his baby teeth, front and center.

	::JOEL: ....		::JOEL: ....
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	:How much longer do we want to go from here? We have Frost's psych evaluation, and a SPARCs/SPADA face-off scene...we can probably wrap up the actual super-heroics for the episode. So yeah, Gunslinger going down here works fine. Where'd Amy go to during the scene, by the way? Off to get help?		:How much longer do we want to go from here? We have Frost's psych evaluation, and a SPARCs/SPADA face-off scene...we can probably wrap up the actual super-heroics for the episode. So yeah, Gunslinger going down here works fine. Where'd Amy go to during the scene, by the way? Off to get help?

			::Where did Amy go, indeed? I think that calls for a follow-up scene. [[User:TonyLB\|TonyLB]] 11:58, 28 April 2006 (PDT)

	:Oh, one thing - Gunslinger's real name was established earlier as Ezekiel Clayton. So his ex-wife and son should probably have the same surname, pre-relocation.[[User:BlackSheep\|BlackSheep]] 09:20, 28 April 2006 (PDT)		:Oh, one thing - Gunslinger's real name was established earlier as Ezekiel Clayton. So his ex-wife and son should probably have the same surname, pre-relocation.[[User:BlackSheep\|BlackSheep]] 09:20, 28 April 2006 (PDT)

			:: Great! Will do. [[User:TonyLB\|TonyLB]] 11:58, 28 April 2006 (PDT)

BlackSheep: /* Scene 008: Gunslinger penetrates SPARTA */

2006-04-28T16:20:36Z

Scene 008: Gunslinger penetrates SPARTA

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:20, 28 April 2006
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	Finished off the gaps. BlackSheep, you were talking about Gunslinger escaping ... is there a reason (something I've forgotten) why he ''should'' escape?		Finished off the gaps. BlackSheep, you were talking about Gunslinger escaping ... is there a reason (something I've forgotten) why he ''should'' escape?

			:Not really. It's just the assumption I've been going on so far. In fact, I had an idea for a wrap-up scene with Joel visiting Gunslinger in jail at the end of the ep, so him going into custody would work well. And ouch, I just realised that the visit would make a really nasty contrast with Frost being alone in the asylum...

			:How much longer do we want to go from here? We have Frost's psych evaluation, and a SPARCs/SPADA face-off scene...we can probably wrap up the actual super-heroics for the episode. So yeah, Gunslinger going down here works fine. Where'd Amy go to during the scene, by the way? Off to get help?

			:Oh, one thing - Gunslinger's real name was established earlier as Ezekiel Clayton. So his ex-wife and son should probably have the same surname, pre-relocation.[[User:BlackSheep\|BlackSheep]] 09:20, 28 April 2006 (PDT)

138.88.203.63 at 15:01, 28 April 2006

2006-04-28T15:01:56Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:01, 28 April 2006
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	:::JOEL: Oh ... well ... that's good.		:::JOEL: Oh ... well ... that's good.

	:::JOE: Yes, Joel, that's good.		:::JOE: Yes, Joel, that's good. We're going to go get you some medical help.

			:::Sarah and Joe head out into the corridor. Sarah carries Gunslinger unceremoniously over one shoulder.

			:::SARAH: Idiots. Joel got himself hurt because he wanted to be a ''hero''.

			:::JOE: You say that like it's a bad thing.

			:::SARAH: Isn't it?

	----		----

138.88.203.63 at 14:54, 28 April 2006

2006-04-28T14:54:50Z

@@ Line 67: / Line 67: @@
 ::JOEL:  Yeah, okay.  It's pretty much exactly what it looks like.  But he was going to kill you guys!
-Joe turns to Sarah.
+::Joe turns to Sarah.
 ::JOE:  I'm invulnerable.  You?
@@ Line 73: / Line 73: @@
 ::SARAH:  Pretty much, yeah.
-Joe turns back to Joel, looks past him to the computer screen.
+::Joe turns back to Joel, looks past him to the computer screen.
 ::JOE:  How 'bout those two?  They bullet-proof?
-Joel looks from Joe to Gunslinger, to the screen.  He pauses for a moment, then his stance and features visibly shift and harden.
+::Joel looks from Joe to Gunslinger, to the screen.  He pauses for a moment, then his stance and features visibly shift and harden.
 ::LIVEWIRE: He'll never get near them.  Now that we know what he's looking for, we'll hide them where he'll never be able to trouble them again.
 ::GUNSLINGER:  You heartless BASTARD!  That's my SON!  You people are keeping me away from my '''SON'''!
 :SARAH:  You complete and total '''fuck'''!  Why the hell would your son want anything to do with you?  You had a choice, villain or father, and you ''made it''.
@@ Line 87: / Line 91: @@
 :LIVEWIRE:  That's right.  Give it up, Gunslinger.  There's no victory for you here ... not today, and not tomorrow.
-:SARAH (muttering):  ... and you're making exactly the same choice, aren't you Joel?
+:::Gunslinger blurs into motion, and now he has two guns in his hands.
 ----
@@ Line 106: / Line 146: @@
 Okay, I've filled in some gaps.  I'll fill in more later this morning.  Got to roust the boys and pour breakfast into them.

138.88.203.63: Filled in narrative gaps

2006-04-28T11:49:55Z

Filled in narrative gaps

@@ Line 40: / Line 40: @@
 ----
 :SARAH:  You complete and total '''fuck'''!  Why the hell would your son want anything to do with you?  You had a choice, villain or father, and you ''made it''.
-:JOEL:  That's right.  Give it up, Gunslinger.  There's no victory for you here ... not today, and not tomorrow.
+:LIVEWIRE:  That's right.  Give it up, Gunslinger.  There's no victory for you here ... not today, and not tomorrow.
 :SARAH (muttering):  ... and you're making exactly the same choice, aren't you Joel?
 ----
@@ Line 62: / Line 103: @@
 :Hmmm...there'd be a degree of sympathy, but I don't see Joel letting Gunslinger go, especially after what he did to Joe - he's just too dangerous.  However, I could see him trying to talk Gunslinger out of his plan - offering advice on the situation without realising he's also talking about himself and Exemplar.[[User:BlackSheep|BlackSheep]] 10:10, 27 April 2006 (PDT)

BlackSheep: /* Scene 008: Gunslinger penetrates SPARTA */

2006-04-27T17:10:39Z

Scene 008: Gunslinger penetrates SPARTA

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:10, 27 April 2006
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	04:17, 27 April 2006 (PDT)		04:17, 27 April 2006 (PDT)

	Hmmm...there'd be a degree of sympathy, but I don't see Joel letting Gunslinger go, especially after what he did to Joe - he's just too dangerous. However, I could see him trying to talk Gunslinger out of his plan - offering advice on the situation without realising he's also talking about himself and Exemplar.[[User:BlackSheep\|BlackSheep]] 10:10, 27 April 2006 (PDT)		:Hmmm...there'd be a degree of sympathy, but I don't see Joel letting Gunslinger go, especially after what he did to Joe - he's just too dangerous. However, I could see him trying to talk Gunslinger out of his plan - offering advice on the situation without realising he's also talking about himself and Exemplar.[[User:BlackSheep\|BlackSheep]] 10:10, 27 April 2006 (PDT)

BlackSheep: /* Scene 008: Gunslinger penetrates SPARTA */

2006-04-27T17:10:22Z

Scene 008: Gunslinger penetrates SPARTA

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:10, 27 April 2006
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	Then the secret could be a lesser part of the clone secret: "I don't have a father." --Azrianni		Then the secret could be a lesser part of the clone secret: "I don't have a father." --Azrianni
	04:17, 27 April 2006 (PDT)		04:17, 27 April 2006 (PDT)

			Hmmm...there'd be a degree of sympathy, but I don't see Joel letting Gunslinger go, especially after what he did to Joe - he's just too dangerous. However, I could see him trying to talk Gunslinger out of his plan - offering advice on the situation without realising he's also talking about himself and Exemplar.[[User:BlackSheep\|BlackSheep]] 10:10, 27 April 2006 (PDT)

207.69.139.147 at 11:17, 27 April 2006

2006-04-27T11:17:16Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:17, 27 April 2006
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	::I'm drawing pretty blank on how to tie this scene together. I guess the basic flow goes Joe/Amy/Sarah > Joel/Gunslinger > confrontation on the way out > escape? Joel would probably have to get his secret(s) revealed during the confrontation, when everyone's there to see, and be injured in the escape. This is, basically, the SPARCs getting in over their heads and not working as a team as a result of their internal stresses.[[User:BlackSheep\|BlackSheep]] 09:40, 26 April 2006 (PDT)		::I'm drawing pretty blank on how to tie this scene together. I guess the basic flow goes Joe/Amy/Sarah > Joel/Gunslinger > confrontation on the way out > escape? Joel would probably have to get his secret(s) revealed during the confrontation, when everyone's there to see, and be injured in the escape. This is, basically, the SPARCs getting in over their heads and not working as a team as a result of their internal stresses.[[User:BlackSheep\|BlackSheep]] 09:40, 26 April 2006 (PDT)

			OK, here's this question: once Joel figures out what Gunslinger is really up to, how does he react? Because if Joel actually feels some sympathy with the villain--maybe even is thinking of letting him go--and then the rest burst in and Joel either can't prevent the confrontation or feels he has to side with his teammates or whatever. Don't know if anybody else likes that, but to me that puts in a little more tension than just heroes v. villain.

			Then the secret could be a lesser part of the clone secret: "I don't have a father." --Azrianni
			04:17, 27 April 2006 (PDT)