SPARCs:Kibbitzing009 - Revision history

TonyLB: Fill in the gap

2006-06-24T04:31:45Z

Fill in the gap

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 SARAH:  Are you '''threatening''' me?  My family?
 SWAMI:  I remind you that all things exist in a larger context.  Just as you understand the reasons for letting certain people escape strict justice, you will learn to understand the reasons that some others are punished more than they deserve.
 SARAH:  Well ... you've just got an answer for everything, don't you?
 SWAMI:  These are the answers you already know in your heart, Sarah.
@@ Line 37: / Line 41: @@
 :::Regardless of the SFX, the best route might indeed be for him to talk her down, zen-master style.  Sarah's opening could come by making him angry enough to make an attack, or by faking submission long enough for him to drop his guard.[[User:BlackSheep|BlackSheep]]
-SARAH:  I don't know whether I'm going to be a hero or a villain, but I know for '''damn sure''' that I'm not going to be your puppet any more.
+: ''Thanks guys!  Good suggestions.  Here's a try at writing up some text.''
 SWAMI (weakly):  We never tried to ...
-Sarah grabs the Swami by the jaw and jerks him around to face her.
+Sarah grabs the Swami by the jaw and lifts him up to face her.
-SARAH:  You don't talk.  You listen.  You've created something here at SPARCs ... and now its growing into something bigger than your little program.  You ''do not'' want to stand in the way of that, or of me.  Don't stand against us, or you'll get ''really'' hurt.  Make up some excuse ... you're good at that.
+: She drops him onto the tile.  On her way to the door she rips a hanging off the wall and uses it to mop the Swami's blood off her face.
-There's an opportunity for some interesting visual irony here if you want it.  We're in the Swami's meditation chamber, so either during the verbal sparring or the physical, you could use some shots where we foreground the Koi pond or something peaceful while background image or dialogue shows us that things AREN'T peaceful.  And after the final blow, Swami should definitely land somewhere that highlights how "unbalanced" everything has become. (Azrianni)
+:: There's an opportunity for some interesting visual irony here if you want it.  We're in the Swami's meditation chamber, so either during the verbal sparring or the physical, you could use some shots where we foreground the Koi pond or something peaceful while background image or dialogue shows us that things AREN'T peaceful.  And after the final blow, Swami should definitely land somewhere that highlights how "unbalanced" everything has become. (Azrianni)
 [[User:207.69.139.146|207.69.139.146]] 04:08, 22 June 2006 (PDT)
 ::: Ooh, I know.  A pool or mosaic floor in the shape of yin-yang symbol.  Closing shot from above, with the Swami lying in the cracked remnants of the 'light' side.[[User:BlackSheep|BlackSheep]]

BlackSheep at 12:18, 22 June 2006

2006-06-22T12:18:18Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:18, 22 June 2006
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	:: Maybe "henchman" is better than "minion." -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 01:13, 22 June 2006 (PDT)		:: Maybe "henchman" is better than "minion." -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 01:13, 22 June 2006 (PDT)

			:::I definitely like the idea of the meditation garden getting progressively trashed as the fight goes on. Swami dodging Sarah's blows could work, although for visuals I like the idea of the Swami 'displacing' the blows. Sarah swings at him with a punch that can go through walls, and he stops it dead with one palm - then the bonsai trees explode into matchsticks.

			:::Regardless of the SFX, the best route might indeed be for him to talk her down, zen-master style. Sarah's opening could come by making him angry enough to make an attack, or by faking submission long enough for him to drop his guard.[[User:BlackSheep\|BlackSheep]]

	SARAH: I don't know whether I'm going to be a hero or a villain, but I know for '''damn sure''' that I'm not going to be your puppet any more.		SARAH: I don't know whether I'm going to be a hero or a villain, but I know for '''damn sure''' that I'm not going to be your puppet any more.
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	[[User:207.69.139.146\|207.69.139.146]] 04:08, 22 June 2006 (PDT)		[[User:207.69.139.146\|207.69.139.146]] 04:08, 22 June 2006 (PDT)

			::: Ooh, I know. A pool or mosaic floor in the shape of yin-yang symbol. Closing shot from above, with the Swami lying in the cracked remnants of the 'light' side.[[User:BlackSheep\|BlackSheep]]

207.69.139.146 at 11:08, 22 June 2006

2006-06-22T11:08:48Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:08, 22 June 2006
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	SARAH: You don't talk. You listen. You've created something here at SPARCs ... and now its growing into something bigger than your little program. You ''do not'' want to stand in the way of that, or of me. Don't stand against us, or you'll get ''really'' hurt. Make up some excuse ... you're good at that.		SARAH: You don't talk. You listen. You've created something here at SPARCs ... and now its growing into something bigger than your little program. You ''do not'' want to stand in the way of that, or of me. Don't stand against us, or you'll get ''really'' hurt. Make up some excuse ... you're good at that.

			There's an opportunity for some interesting visual irony here if you want it. We're in the Swami's meditation chamber, so either during the verbal sparring or the physical, you could use some shots where we foreground the Koi pond or something peaceful while background image or dialogue shows us that things AREN'T peaceful. And after the final blow, Swami should definitely land somewhere that highlights how "unbalanced" everything has become. (Azrianni)

			[[User:207.69.139.146\|207.69.139.146]] 04:08, 22 June 2006 (PDT)

James Holloway: /* Scene 009: Sarah and the Swami face down */

2006-06-22T08:13:45Z

Scene 009: Sarah and the Swami face down

← Older revision		Revision as of 08:13, 22 June 2006
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	: Anyway ... stuff to fill in, and then ....		: Anyway ... stuff to fill in, and then ....

			:: Hmmmm, OK. How about the Swami starts talking the usual line about how she needs to master her anger or her anger will master her. He's talking in soothing tones, making eye contact, has peaceful body movements, and Sarah says something to the effect of "I know what you're doing; I've been manipulated before. This is how you talk to a minion. I'm not your ''minion.'' " Maybe Swami decides he has to restrain her for her own good? In terms of a fight, remember that the Swami's a zen warrior; he should be able to put up a pretty good resistance. Sarah smashes and crushes things, and he's always just not quite where she was aiming, until finally he slips -- maybe she does something or says something to make him lose his concentration? -- and she can land the grave-digger on him?

			:: Maybe "henchman" is better than "minion." -- [[User:James Holloway\|James Holloway]] 01:13, 22 June 2006 (PDT)

	SARAH: I don't know whether I'm going to be a hero or a villain, but I know for '''damn sure''' that I'm not going to be your puppet any more.		SARAH: I don't know whether I'm going to be a hero or a villain, but I know for '''damn sure''' that I'm not going to be your puppet any more.

TonyLB: Created Kibbitzing page

2006-06-22T04:09:23Z

Created Kibbitzing page

New page

=== Scene 009: Sarah and the Swami face down ===

''SWAMI: If all things received what they deserved, this would surely be a perfect world. Since it is not, we must sometimes act for the greater good.''

''SARAH: That's just an excuse.''

''SWAMI: It is the way of things. Sometimes the branch must be pruned that the tree may live.''

''The two of them gaze into the pool for a long moment.''

''SWAMI: I remember a similar discussion with your predecessor. He was an idealist like yourself. He could not accept the suffering of the good, nor the evil going unpunished. It is of great regret to me that his killers remain at large.''

SARAH: Are you '''threatening''' me? My family?

SWAMI: I remind you that all things exist in a larger context. Just as you understand the reasons for letting certain people escape strict justice, you will learn to understand the reasons that some others are punished more than they deserve.

SARAH: Well ... you've just got an answer for everything, don't you?

SWAMI: These are the answers you already know in your heart, Sarah.

Sarah heaves herself to her feet and stands facing the Swami.

SARAH: I don't know. I still think you're the one with the fancy answers. I don't have those. I'll tell you what I ''do'' have, though. I've got fists that can punch straight through hardened tungsten steel.

: I could really use some help here. I have the feeling that the Swami should earn his own comeuppance, by pushing things a ''hair'' too far, and probably directly "calling Sarah's bluff" ... saying that she wouldn't ''really'' hit him, she's just posturing ... so that she can hit him.

: But, also, I want there to be a combat worth describing between the two of them, and I don't have much of a sense of what kind of powers the Swami is supposed to have. If it's classic mind-control then we need to posit something (presumably of Sarah's background or tech she picked up around the house) to give her a way of not falling immediately prey to that, but it doesn't leave a lot of room for back and forth in the combat ... he tries mind-control, it fails, she mops the floor with him. I'd almost be tempted to have him doing telekinesis except that it seems ... I dunno ... he doesn't seem like the kind to be very willing to get his hands dirty.

: Anyway ... stuff to fill in, and then ....

SARAH: I don't know whether I'm going to be a hero or a villain, but I know for '''damn sure''' that I'm not going to be your puppet any more.

SWAMI (weakly): We never tried to ...

Sarah grabs the Swami by the jaw and jerks him around to face her.

SARAH: You don't talk. You listen. You've created something here at SPARCs ... and now its growing into something bigger than your little program. You ''do not'' want to stand in the way of that, or of me. Don't stand against us, or you'll get ''really'' hurt. Make up some excuse ... you're good at that.