Friendship Behind Closed Doors
Thanks, Kim for doing this one with me!
Friday, 01 Aug 2521
Kuiper II class, Summer’s Gift
Mystic, New Canaan
Blue Sun (Qing Long) system
2100hrs, local time
Knock, knock. Joshua knocked on the door to Kiera's container. The conversation with Nika and Rina earlier (as well as his ship board duties) mandated the upcoming conversation. As he stood there, fidgeting a little as he waited, he considered what he was going to say. He had suggested to Nika that they put it on purely practical terms and he still thought that was the best plan. However, he knew he trod a fine line. It would be easy for him to come across as laying down some sort of moral judgment. Especially considering his stance on killing - too easy to extrapolate that out and assume he felt the same way about everything illegal.
He sighed as he walked through it in his head. It wasn't very likely Kiera would come away happy. Happy wasn't necessary though. He'd settle for not unhappy and an understanding of where the crew stood. Still no sign of her and he knocked one more time. If she didn't show up shortly, he'd push it off for later.
--
She came up behind him, a bemused look on her face. "Looking for me?" she asked. "Gonna have a hard time finding me there. I was borrowing some of your lab facilities in the med bay." She smiled and waited.
--
Second time in the same day he had been caught off guard. Rina talked about losing her edge. Joshua wondered if he was losing his. He pushed those thoughts down and smiled at Kiera. "Do you mind if we go inside your container to talk? Probably more comfortable than standing out here in the hallway." Left implied, of course, was that the privacy of the container would also be better than the wide open corridor.
--
The tiniest of frowns marred her face. "Certainly," she answered, keying the door open. She gestured to the opening and watched to see which seat, rolling stool or chair, that he took.
--
Joshua walked in and sat down the rolling stool, clasping his hands in his lap. "So...Rina said you talked to her about some forgeries."
--
To her credit, she did not raise an eyebrow or visibly start. Damn, but these people talk like old women, she thought. There's going to be a lot of things that she would just have to keep secret. "I did."
--
"Just a heads up that while you're on board, let us know if you're planning on anything that could bring trouble our way." He paused, looking a little uncomfortable. "It's not the illegal that we worry about. It's the results, if that makes sense.
--
"It does, it does," she answered thoughtfully. She studied his face openly, not making an effort to hide her curiousity and pursed her lips. "I did promise you all that I would let you know if there was trouble coming my way. And may I point out, my results have not been as geehawed, plain ole screwed as some of the things that y'all seem to have done." She flopped onto her chair with a happy sigh. "Damn but this thing is comfortable. . .when it needs to be." She winked and played with the buckles on the straps with a leer.
--
He nodded. "It wasn't meant as a reprimand. We have no right for that. More letting you know why it wasn't going to happen from our end." She was right, of course. The _Gift_ and its crew were certainly more than capable of getting into trouble on their own.
--
She grinned. " 'Cus y'all gossip like old women, that's why it won't happen. And now that I've watched your lady love in action, I think that keeping another secret would make her explode." She sighed, abruptly seeming a little bemused and sad. "I'd love to cut you guys in. . .you've all got talents that would make you a better living than what you make." She leaned forward in the chair again studying him. "How'd you all get so broken? I hate so say it, but you are the most put together mentally of them all, but I ain't sure who you are all put together as."
--
He stared at her for a moment in amazement and then burst out into laughter. "That's about right. I used to be everybody and nobody. And now I'm just me - trying to figure out who I am. Not sure what it says that you think I'm the most put together." He looked at the woman across from him and smiled at the thought that she was practically normal when compared to the crew. "We do share our secrets. Maybe because us misfits bind together.”
--
"Broken people bind together, Joshua. People trying to help each other along before the predators in life figure out that they are there. You and Nika need to keep an eye out for them. She's at least dangerous. And she can be cold enough to kill and then justify it in binges of excesses that numb the mind. That's when she's vulnerable. Arden is too cynical for his own good and is basically a good soul who is stunned by a lot of life. He belongs in a university or research lab. Rina is a innocent soul who fell for a predator and tried to make herself into him so that he would love her." She smiled gently. "Am I right, so far?"
--
"Perhaps a bit cynical. There's truth in each of those but not the complete picture. I wouldn't classify Mike as a predator, to take a single one of those points.
--
"Ah, but I am cynical. I know too much.. I am one of those predators. Taught by my father and hardened by the underworld. There is no room for mistakes in big business or bad business. And failure is rewarded in very similar ways.." She paused, her eyes narrowing. "Kinder than I you are, to defend your rival. Is there generosity in victory?" She paused again. "And why?"
--
He took a moment to quietly consider her question. Why indeed? But the answer was obvious, once he started looking. "Because I was in the wrong to start with, even if it was unintentional. And because it only hurts *me* to speak ill of someone not here to defend themselves. And because it's the truth."
--
"You are very noble and tragically likeable." She sighed and leaned back in the chair. "So, we never sussed out who you were. I think I told you more about myself than you told me. Could I ask for a little more info?"
--
This wasn't where he had pictured this conversation going. But he didn't mind sharing. In this particular instance, he felt Kiera would watch his back. "What do you want to know?
--
"Who are you? How'd you escape and how'd you get here? What did they make you to do?"
--
"You know who I am as well as I do, Kiera." He thought back to the data from Blue Sun that he was still untangling. "My parents gave me up to them when I was young although I don't remember that...or them.”
"Blue Sun made me into their tool. A mind reader who could become anyone with some time and information. Then they used me for all sorts of clandestine purposes. Some by request, others not so much. I didn't know what I was doing was wrong." Not that it excused or forgave him for what he had done. "They memory wiped me every so often after certain jobs. One day I found out the truth and escaped when I was on mission. Was lucky enough to stumble upon the crew." He grinned a little. "And that's the simple version.”
--
Kiera frowned a little. "I am sad for you. That is a horrible childhood. But I'm glad that it led you to find these misfits. It's given me a chance to have a friend." She met his eyes then and the greenness that was usually cold and/or mischievous was unusually warm.
"Darn you for making me trust you!" she exclaimed a second later, refusing to let the moment stand. "You want something to drink, by the way? I don't have much, but I can offer something."
--
"Thank you. It's nice to have another friend." Then something in her phrasing occurred to him and he frowned a little. "A friend? You cannot tell me I'm your only friend." He wasn't going to let her deflect him on this one.
--
She flushed, caught off guard. He was good, as good as she on picking up the subtle interplays of words and the unintentional phrasing that told so much. Thank goodness that the little engineer had fallen for him and he was taken; single and as very warm and intuitive as he was, she would have been had pressed to resist him. And that would have been bad. She couldn't watch another lover die "You know I have tons and tons. But," and she weighted her words, knowing that the friendship was still young and fragile, "I rarely have a true friend. One who I can talk to and one that may be willing to have my back. Your shipmates would jettison me in a heartbeat if they thought that I'd done them dirty. You'd at least let me explain myself before I went into the dark." A nonchalant shrug and a tilt of her head, she waited for his response. He was making her talk more than she had in years. Wonder if it was an aspect of his training and creation?
--
"I think you underestimate them. But I like you, Kiera, although honestly I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly why. But that's the beauty of emotion, isn't it?”
--
"And the terror of it," she retorted, sliding off the chair. She retrieve two small glasses and a bottle. "Are you a whiskey drinker?" The bottle was a name that was not cheap and hard to find.
--
Joshua chuckled. "If you asked Rina and Nika they'd say I shouldn't be drinking at all. I've never had whiskey before, but I'll give it a shot. I’ll just have to watch my intake.” _His inexperience might do him in if he wasn’t careful.
--
Kiera poured him just a finger. "I'll watch it for you." She reached into a little refrigerator unit and took a bottle and poured a dollop of another liquid in the glass and then handed it over. "Whiskey and Blue Sun. Ironic, eh, but good." She made her own drink and resumed her seat. "So, the in and out of it is this: If I can get someone to make an ID and I can change a face, then y'all don't care as long as the trouble don't follow me home. If I get one of you to do it, the probabilities is that you ain't gonna do it and if you did, it's out of the misguided generosity of your lovely souls. Is that it?"
--
He nodded as he held the glass up to his mouth. He took a sip and it went down pretty smooth with that pleasant warmth most alcohol had. "That was pretty good." He took another sip, taking the time to appreciate it before answering her question. "And yeah, you summed it up well. You know how much trouble we get into with legal things. Probably best we don't screw up your illegal ones.”
--
She smiled again. "Well, crap. So, how'd you get elected to come give me the news? Short straw?"
--
"That's my job...when they want me to do it, anyway." He should've probably phrased that a little better but he was still feeling a little frustrated about the whole situation. Joshua took another sip of whiskey, emptying his glass.
--
"Refill?" she asked, getting to her feet. "Damn it all, Joshua. You're drinking too fast. . .how am I going to have a conversation if you slam your drink? I'm gonna get you a bigger one this time." She reached for his glass.
--
He nodded as she took his glass. He was definitely drinking too fast, but he wasn't quite of the logic indicating a bigger glass was the solution.
--
Kiera eyed him as she poured. Was he drinking because he was nervous or was he drinking because it was new and good. She paused, mid Blue Sun, and put the bottle down. She was so anxious for real conversation, for a real friend and she felt it tingeing the atmo of the room. She sighed. "Joshua, am I making you nervous?"
--
"Nervous? Not that I know of." He looked at her questioningly. "Should I be?"
--
She looked at him sheepishly. "Read you wrong. I apologize. I realized as I said it that I'm nervous. Don't want you to leave." She sighed, handing him the larger drink. "I'm enjoying this conversation and when you sucked the drink down, I guess I thought that you were wanting to run."
--
"You know that bit I said about Nika and Rina saying I shouldn't drink? It's because I'm not a good drinker. I hadn't done it much before leaving Blue Sun." He smiled at her, a smile of genuine warmth. "I'm not in any hurry to leave. Did you want to know anything else about me? Rina would probably be throwing a fit to hear me say that, but I trust you with my history."
--
“I'm sure she would." She wiggled into her chair, finally relaxing and seeming to get comfortable. "But before we settle into trading dark stories of our pasts, I've got a question. "What do like for a woman to smell like?" She raised an eyebrow. "Nothing dirty, please. I'm well aware of what you want to say and I know it's the truth with most men. But what scent do you like? Flowers, fruits, or musks?"
--
"You know," he admitted honestly, "I don't know. Rina was my first real relationship outside the one Blue Sun manufactured and I don't think I really know. Guessing, I'd say flowers. I get fruits all the time and there is something feminine about a flower smell." He looked at his glass, thought about taking a drink, and then decided to wait. The last thing he needed was to get drunk in Kiera's container. I wonder, he thought, if I have some alcoholism in my genes. The thought should have made him depressed, but instead it made him oddly pleased. Flaws are the most human part about us.
--
Kiera followed his glance. "It's more Blue Sun than alcohol," she remarked in an almost motherly fashion. "You seemed concerned that the others might fuss if I got you drunk. Okay, flowers it is. I won't tell you what it's for; someone would be annoyed with me more than usual, it seems." She crinkled her eyes at him. "She, at least, liked what I did with your face. She did ask why. . .I told her the truth. I felt you needed for it to be more your own. And in that train of thought, I can see why you getting drunk may not be the best thing. Who knows who lurks in your subconscious? In vino veritas, or in your case, in vino spiritus?"
--
"That's why we didn't really get alcohol much at the Academy. A drunken soul who can read your mind is bad enough. A drunken soul who can read your mind and kill you without thinking twice is potential disaster in the making." He took a small sip - it really was good stuff. Joshua put his free hand to his face, feeling it again now that she had commented on it. "I said it before. You do good work. And you're right, I need it to be my own. The face that was once mine is lost to the void."
--
"That's so sad. I've always felt sorry for the people who faces I changed. It seemed so horrible to me to lose contact with the person in the mirror." She was lost in thought for a while, her eyes closing. "Hmmm," she said abruptly. "Wonder if that face is recorded somewhere in a Core file? Would you want it back? I could give it to you if I could see it." Watching him, she laughed softly. "I sound like the Devil or a wicked witch, don't I? What would you give me, my pretty, pretty man if I could?"
--
"Well, the file we stole from Blue Sun got corrupted, so no chance there." He unconsciously stroked his beard softly as he sat and thought. Would he want it back? He had asked himself that a lot when they had been preparing to raid Blue Sun and he wasn't sure he was any closer to an answer. "I don't know, Kiera. This face is how my entire family - this crew - knows me. Maybe it would be different if I find any of my family, but even then, it's not like they have ever known me by that face either. I say that but I still can't make myself say no to the idea. I'm a weak person."
The thought of his unknown family and the corrupted file twisted Joshua's stomach in knots a little. So he decided to steer the conversation in another direction. "So let me ask you a question. You said you were tempting me with my face, what you thought I might desire the most. So, tell me what your heart's desire is. What would you give everything for?"
--
She began to giggle and then just grinned. "A man like you," she countered with wicked pleasure and then laughed merrily again. "Seriously?" She inhaled, took a sip of her drink, and looked dreamy for a moment, although her face was still lit up with mirth. "Oh, a farm with a small practice where I can help people that was close to a major city where I could still experience excitement and a little danger. That and to not be the only child of Jonathan Jianjun Reginald Sullivan and Merribeth Glaston Cheng Sullivan. Lord, I feel like I oughta close the door for this conversation, but Rina might blow a fuse."
--
"Close it if you want. I trust you and Rina trusts me."
--
She leapt up and palmed the door shut. "I don't want anyone else to know. They aren't the wealthiest of all people, but they're wealthy enough that it has caused problems in the past." She flopped back into the chair. "What I want doesn't agree, Joshua. You can't have peace and danger, country and city, space and land. One day something or someone will call and I'll just go with them. I'll know then." She looked to the ceiling of the container. "I hope I'll know. Now, your turn. We need to be in pajamas, you know. With big slippers and a comfy bed. telling secrets and dreams. Last time I did this, I had just went on a pony ride with my friends."
--
It would probably be a downer to mention that he really didn't have a childhood. Or for that matter that he only knew what she was talking about because of how many movies on the Cortex he used to watch. "Nothing is ever simple, is it? Most people would probably say they want to be wealthy, but you're wealthy (or have access to wealth), and you're keeping it secret. But to my heart's desire. Is it cheating to say I already have it in Rina?" Before she could laugh at him about it, he held up his hand to stop it. "Give me a second."
Joshua fidgeted on his rolling stool for a minute, listening to the sound of the wheels sliding on the metal floor. Then he looked up at her, his face serious as he said, "I know this will make me even more of a grown up child in your eyes, but I'd want to be able to talk to my mother or my father or my brother or sister. I have a family in the crew and I love them like I didn't realize I could love anyone, but I still want my mommy and daddy." And he smiled a soft self-mocking smile.
--
She tilted her head and stared at him before suddenly leaping off her chair. "Damn it, Joshua," she snapped and grabbed him in a hug. "You've made me cry. I'm gonna have to throw you out before I start bawling." She loosened her grip to let him get away, aware that the sudden affection was probably unwanted.
--
Joshua barely managed to keep from spilling his glass all over her container when she surprised him with a hug. And after the surprise, there was an embarrassing moment where he had the predictable male reaction to being hugged by a beautiful woman. It was not helped along by the fact that he and Rina had not actually done the deed since February. He had been delaying it as part of the courtship now that they were together, but the delay was certainly playing havoc with his libido.
He carefully disengaged himself, hoping she hadn't noticed (and that was the second time!) and smiled at her.
--
"I'm not throwing you nowhere," she answered with an understanding smile and backed away from him. "Get on the chair and get comfortable. I'll take the stool for a while. I've got a feeling that we've both needed to talk for a long while." She held up her glass. "To a new friend."
--
He raised his glass in return. “Indeed. To a new friend and to a long friendship ahead,” he said, following it with a sip of the whiskey. Life was good.
-- -- -- --
Go to Joshua's Crew Page or to Kiera's Crew Page
Go to CREW or TIMELINE
Go to Mutineers
