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He looked at her and his first thought was to be reminded at how close he had come to losing her. If one of those shards had been coming in at a slightly different angle, then...well, he didn’t want to think about it. His second thought was to get a little angry that she was letting the scars bring her down. He looked at her and simply said, “Scars heal, Rina. Both physical and emotional. But you’re still the kick ass, take no prisoners girl that I fell in love with.” And he stepped in and hugged her close. “And you’re just as beautiful as you were when I first saw you.”<br><br>
 
He looked at her and his first thought was to be reminded at how close he had come to losing her. If one of those shards had been coming in at a slightly different angle, then...well, he didn’t want to think about it. His second thought was to get a little angry that she was letting the scars bring her down. He looked at her and simply said, “Scars heal, Rina. Both physical and emotional. But you’re still the kick ass, take no prisoners girl that I fell in love with.” And he stepped in and hugged her close. “And you’re just as beautiful as you were when I first saw you.”<br><br>
  
Then he stepped away and pulled off his own shirt, grimacing as he went a little too fast. ''Remember, you just had surgery, you fool. Don’t make Arden and Kiera have to put you back under. Take it easy''.<br><br>
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Then he stepped away and pulled off his own shirt, grimacing as he went a little too fast. Remember, you just had surgery, you fool. Don’t make Arden and Kiera have to put you back under. Take it easy.<br><br>
  
 
“Now, get the rest of those clothes off and come help me get in. I could really use a warm soak.”<br><br>
 
“Now, get the rest of those clothes off and come help me get in. I could really use a warm soak.”<br><br>
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''It’s good advice. You should follow it. So suck it up and thank him, you idiot''. I turned around, careful where I put my knees, and kissed him. ''Not the thanks he deserves, but getting there''...<br><br>
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''It’s good advice. You should follow it. So suck it up and thank him'', you idiot. I turned around, careful where I put my knees, and kissed him. ''Not the thanks he deserves, but getting there''...<br><br>
  
 
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There’d been times when Christian’s Buddhist adherence to non-violence had run counter to our plans, spawning arguments and hurt silence. Yet, when the chips were down, he was one of the best shots of all of us with a hunting rifle. No doubt it was a skill a Companion trained for like everything else, in case a client took him game hunting.  Thinking of Christian made me think of a conversation we’d had one a rainy morning during our layover at the turn of last year.<br><br>
 
There’d been times when Christian’s Buddhist adherence to non-violence had run counter to our plans, spawning arguments and hurt silence. Yet, when the chips were down, he was one of the best shots of all of us with a hunting rifle. No doubt it was a skill a Companion trained for like everything else, in case a client took him game hunting.  Thinking of Christian made me think of a conversation we’d had one a rainy morning during our layover at the turn of last year.<br><br>
  
''Do you want your first child, with Mike, to be a boy or a girl?'' he’d asked. I’d choked on my tea and when I got myself back to rights, I’d told him the gender didn’t matter.  Any child I had would be loved for itself. Implicit in that statement was that any child I had would be Mike’s. That was over a year ago and since then the picture had drastically changed: Mike was no longer in it, exiled on Miranda. Memory sent me back further still, to another conversation with Christian on Meridian.<br><br>  
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Do you want your first child, with Mike, to be a boy or a girl? he’d asked. I’d choked on my tea and when I got myself back to rights, I’d told him the gender didn’t matter.  Any child I had would be loved for itself. Implicit in that statement was that any child I had would be Mike’s. That was over a year ago and since then the picture had drastically changed: Mike was no longer in it, exiled on Miranda. Memory sent me back further still, to another conversation with Christian on Meridian.<br><br>  
  
 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''“What’s the worst that could happen?” he asked me.''<br>
 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''“What’s the worst that could happen?” he asked me.''<br>
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&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''“More than,” I said from the bottom of my toes. “More than you could possibly imagine.”''<br>
 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''“More than,” I said from the bottom of my toes. “More than you could possibly imagine.”''<br>
 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''“But would it kill you?”''<br>
 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''“But would it kill you?”''<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''“Only the best part of me.”''<br>
 
 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''“Not at all.”  Christian leaned in close again but made no move to touch me. “You’re not the same person you were a year ago.  You’ll hurt, yes, and deeply, yes, but you’ll move on.  You’re already moving. You’ve taken a lover, if briefly, and that’s a major component of building another life without him.”''<br>
 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''“Not at all.”  Christian leaned in close again but made no move to touch me. “You’re not the same person you were a year ago.  You’ll hurt, yes, and deeply, yes, but you’ll move on.  You’re already moving. You’ve taken a lover, if briefly, and that’s a major component of building another life without him.”''<br>
 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''“Excuse me, Christian, but I already have a life without him. I don’t need another one.”''<br>
 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''“Excuse me, Christian, but I already have a life without him. I don’t need another one.”''<br>

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