McMercenaries:Orientation

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Orientation: Welcome to your last new career!

The future sucks. Especially for you.

A few weeks ago, you got the letter you've been dreading for years: Your student loan got bought out. You’ve enlisted as mercenary to avoid a life of forced labor in a corporate debtor’s prison. A training video later and you’re on the ground in a war zone with a memo listing you’re objectives and a gun with labels indicating which end to point at the enemy. Don’t worry though. Your employment contract requires your missions to have at least a 20% chance of survival.

The company wants updates on your progress but, for legal reasons, they’ll don’t want to how exactly what you’re doing all the time. So do what all disgruntled employees do. Goof off, steal stuff, and lie to your boss. Just try not get fired too soon. If you don’t pay the company for your training and weapons, they’re legally entitled to harvest your organs for resale.

Fight uppity natives and other mercenaries for Democracy(tm), Freedom(tm), or whatever. Join the McMercenaries.


Would you like explosions with that?

What's this all about?

(General intro to the game/setting)

Game play

(links to rules pages)

McMercenaries: Who do you want to kill today?

(descriptions of McMercenary companies)

Target Tactical: Shoot more. Pay less. Target Tactical is the second largest McMerc company in the world, after Wal-Mercs (see below). While the Wal-Mercs tend to cost less for ops, TT are positioned as an 'upscale' discount mercenary corps. Their company flak jackets tend to jarringly conflict with the landscape a little less than Wal-Mercs', and they are more tolerant of customizations and variations from the norm. Don't let that fool you, though, they are just as ruthless and intolerant of screw-offs (which tend to be the wide majority of their employee base) as Wal-Mercs. Company flak jackets are rust-red, with a khaki-colored helmet covering. Target Tactical is famous for its policy of giving 5% of its profits to charity; however due to some poor choices, most of the beneficiaries of this policy are NGOPS (see below).

Wal-Mercs: One of the more ahem.. rigorous McMerc companies out there (and boy does that say a lot!) It's said that even higher management eats, sleeps and screws on a schedule (if they had enough toilets, they'd probably <bleep> on schedule too.) Pioneered the JNT (Just in Time) ammunition delivery system that scans every team, and is supposed to deliver their ammo just before they run out. (In practice, they haven't QUITE figured out that the average WalMerc shift is 7 hours, 59 minutes and 15 seconds of boredom, and 45 seconds of screaming terror with fingers clenching on the button marked "Full Auto"). Their standard uniform is a blue PsuevLar armor, with a yellow happy smily face on the helmet.

NGOPS: Hippies... they're everywhere...

NGOPS - private, non-profit combat charities, like Assassins Without Borders, Meanpeace and Christian Children's Corps - are the bane of every McMercenary's life: Do-gooders on the battlefield, fighting for causes they believe in. They are better trained than you, better armed than you, and filled with the enthusiasm and zeal doing good works brings. And because many McMercenary companies have policies of giving some of their revenues to charity, most often they're partially funded by you.

What a bunch of bastards.

Worse, the NGOPS - nigh-universally the kids of rich parents who kept them out of student debt in college - all think that you're all a bunch of corporatist bastards who sold your souls for a paycheck and the latest in cyberware, while their org is running on a shoestring and a prayer and barely has enough money to keep its operatives in bullets.

Yet, somehow, their Birkenshock Smart Armor is always shiny, and their Latte always steaming hot.

Utter bastards.

Inspirational material

  • Area 88
  • Bill, the Galactic Hero, by Harry Harrison
  • Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
  • M*A*S*H (novel by Richard Hooker, film by Robert Altman, TV series created by Larry Gelbart)
  • Schlock Mercenary
  • Jennifer Government, by Max Barry