Editing Shaken
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I picked the peppers Joshua wanted, hunting through the leaves for the nicest heaviest ones, and wondered why I had let the matter with Kiera go unreported for so long. Part of it was from sheer habit. Anything that touched on my prior clandestine life I rigorously kept private and at the time, her offer placed it firmly in that camp. That she’d approached me the night Mike left for Miranda, my ties with him severed, was also a factor. I was in no fit state to make decisions of any consequence, a fact that Joshua had grasped far sooner than I had. And Joshua’s rejection of … what? my commitment? pledge? hadn’t left me in a good place either. So I fell back on my old habits of suspicion and paranoia and resisted giving Kiera a definitive answer.<br><br> | I picked the peppers Joshua wanted, hunting through the leaves for the nicest heaviest ones, and wondered why I had let the matter with Kiera go unreported for so long. Part of it was from sheer habit. Anything that touched on my prior clandestine life I rigorously kept private and at the time, her offer placed it firmly in that camp. That she’d approached me the night Mike left for Miranda, my ties with him severed, was also a factor. I was in no fit state to make decisions of any consequence, a fact that Joshua had grasped far sooner than I had. And Joshua’s rejection of … what? my commitment? pledge? hadn’t left me in a good place either. So I fell back on my old habits of suspicion and paranoia and resisted giving Kiera a definitive answer.<br><br> | ||
| − | And absent that answer and all the events that had followed after—slaving on Meridian, infiltrating the | + | And absent that answer and all the events that had followed after—slaving on Meridian, infiltrating the Victoria on Deadwood, and coming through the rescue yesterday—I’d barely had a moment to think on the consequences of my indecision til now. I sighed and turned to the potato vines and ran my fingers through the leaves. Joshua and Nika seemed to think little harm was done. Perhaps I should accept it and not punish myself too harshly for it and move on. Joshua had always said I never did anything by halves and as I found the potatoes suitable for the menu, I thought a little on that.<br><br> |
It was true. I hated doing anything half-assed—my misstep with Kiera’s proposal notwithstanding—and how much of that was healthy?<br><br> | It was true. I hated doing anything half-assed—my misstep with Kiera’s proposal notwithstanding—and how much of that was healthy?<br><br> | ||
