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The TEARZ™ Manifesto

The Game Master Roxxorz. If your GM says something – than that’s that. If you're not wearing the GM hat, than you do not get to make the decisions made by those who are wearing the GM Hat.

If there are problems with the rules, it’s not OUR problem, it’s YOUR problem. This is YOUR game . TEARZ™ is a game that Know No Limit, where Imagination Owns Joo. If you’re not Cool enough to handle the majesties that are the TEARZ™ rules, you should go play something simple enough for you like Fudge instead.

These rules are written on paper, or least, they would be if you printed it out.

When the Dice conflict with the Story, the Dice always win. C’mon. You rolled those dice for something. Do you often do things but then pretend they didn’t happen the next second? Are you some kind of masochist or something?

These Rules are not Edicts. A true Game Master is too Cool to let some silly sentences tell HIM what HE can or can’t do. (Or HER and SHE, as appropriate for your gaming group.)

The Dice Never Lie. If you roll something, that’s what you rolled. You didn’t roll anything else. Don’t let the GM tell you otherwise. If necessary, introduce the dice to his face to inform him of what you rolled.

Narrativist Games Suck. corollary: Simulationist games also suck.

There is no situation that cannot be solved by the proper application of high explosives. Seriously. We checked. A game that is not fun can be made fun by the increased application of the same. Make sure to stock up!

When the game doesn’t have an answer, make shit up.


The FICTIONAL world of TEARZ™ is rather dangerous, and it’s not the sort of place you would want to take your old grandmother Gertrude for a pleasant Saturday stroll. It is an exotic and queer realm where magic and technology are taken to the max, there are never-ending endless rock-&-roll technojams without end, the supernatural walks hand in hand in public with the extra-ordinary, and True Scientific Realism rules the day.

Some may not be okay with this. We recommend you disavow all knowledge of such people and find new friends. If they can’t handle the heat, they shouldn’t walk into the fire. We suggest Gamemaster discretion as to whether your friends are Cool enough to handle the world of TEARZ™.

Please note that we here at TEARZ Books do not actually promote the use of the occult, walk around in heavily armed suits of armor, worship gods to collect boons from them at the cost of our sanities, have statistics measured in integers, collect high-powered weaponry, allow the use of drugs in our games, start fights with random passers-by and kill them and take their stuff, or vote Republican.

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