The London Trumpet - Victorian Broadsheets

"For all the news that's fit to print! - Across the Empire here the Trumpet's call!! - Long live the Queen."

Friday, August 31, 1888

XLII, Vol. 1, Issue #1 - COVER - Friday, August 31, 1888

XLII, Vol. 1, Issue #1 - REVERSE - Friday, August 31, 1888

XLII, Vol. 1, #1: In this week's paper...

• HEADLINE ARTICLE:
  MENACE to MANKIND! An unknowable Spyder-man haunts the city --(by Jameson)

As if not diluted enough, our citizens now must contend with what could only be an insane asylum escape who's turned himself into a beast that could be eating our children like flys in his disgusting nest. It's a menace to all of the Empire, not just London proper. Should this imbecile’s lunacy spread through the disease his eight-legged carcass carries Paris might see a six foot Ant-man, our African empirical brothers may see Panther-men, even fair Dublin might be tainted with Lizard-men or far far worse. What will you do London, when this masked mangy man spins his web onto your son or daughter taking them into his gullet? What will you do when our fare streets are clogged with his villainous webs? What will you do when this monster invades your home with his poison? I ask you London, help to save our city from the unknowable threats before they become all too known and we are overtaken.

• ARTICLE:
  TRUMPET UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT - Moriarty partners with Fireheart to buy Paper --(by Bostwich)

Businessman and Professor J. Moriarty returned to Mother England from his time of discovery abroad last week and in a flurry of high level trade deals have secured controlling interest in London's premier paper of note. Moriarty announced plans to join with former controlling owner Fredrick Fireheart to continue the paper's reputation for investigative "hot off the press" reporting. Moriarty was heard commenting, “I have no intention of playing a different tune with the Trumpet, and Publisher Jameson shall remain at the helm with his strong staff of professionals. All will hear our trumpet's call from Dublin to the Rainbow Bridges of Asgard!" When speaking with the paper's staff, there is mixed feelings that traditionally come with such ownership change but all hold Professor Moriarty's reputation as a traveling statesman in high regard. One newsie was heard saying, "I expect big news to come from this Moriarty chap, he's certainly a genius of industry no matter what his newspaper credentials."
This reporter has high hopes but shall remain ever vigilant to the news. For that you can count on London!

• ARTICLE:
  PRIME MINISTER TO FIX EMPIRE? - Royal Navy in disrepair, says Lord Gyrich --(by Urich)

Lord Henry-Peter Gyrich, 3rd Marques of Salisbury openly chastised his House of Lords and Parliament for allowing the British Royal Navy for falling into such disrepair. Lord Gyrich, longtime supporter of bolstering the Navy and other clandestine military and peacekeeping enterprises such as 'Her Majesty's Men (the Imperials), is causing quite a disagreement within the Liberal Party. It is told that his care is so great that he has threatened his resignation should a vote of censure over military supplies come to hand. With his status Gyrich is one of only two persons in the Empire (second only to the Queen) who has effected the state of the military and previous incarnations of the proud Imperials on such drastic consequence. The Prime Minister oversaw the last months of the last incarnation of the Imperials team activities, until he forbade them to go on the mission that hoped to help Captain John Carter, but instead doomed the team. Gyrich also took part in the Parliament investigations involving the Imperials which claimed they were threats to the state's security. When the investigation was over, Parliament gave the Imperials new guidelines to follow. Gyrich also formed the Commission on Men of Renown Activities, the oversight body on activities of such individuals across the Empire; there, he was part of the team that forced Union Jack to resign as symbolic hero to the crown. The Prime Minister's new project is Stratagem: Wide-awake, a project of Parliament commission designed to deal with the problems concerning indigent Men of Renown across the Empire.
Secretary of the Navy and former collegiate Professor Nathanial Osborne has answered the Prime Minister's call by noting that he will be forming dedicated think tank to discuss future solutions with a mandate on saving the Queen's outreach. Osborne had this to say, “I am but Her Majesty's humble servant, England will not topple in my stead".

• ARTICLE:
  BRITISH COAST SEAS RISING - Unseasonable waves crash down across Europe's coastal regions --(by Berino)

Reports continue to flood in from across the outreaches of the Empire. Oceanographers and Sea Captains alike have noted the increased activity of the seas and shorelines along the beaches of Britain and our European boarder nations. Colonists begin plans to weather these strange unseasonable rises in waves, moving inland in some areas as some settlements and cities consider the need for levies should the tides increase.
Since the turn of the new year these ever-increasing tides have grown in size and frequency, slow at first as not previously noticed. However studies of bays and even inland rivers such as the Thames have indicated that the concerns seem justified. The tidal basins of the Thames have risen an astonishing three inches since measured on the last harvest. Professor Richard Reeds had this to add, “The proportions of such an event are not merely limited to the British Empire, and the implication could be a variety of effects from volcanic activity to underwater seismic instability. The vast depths of the ocean remain our most unexplored region on the face of the planet. Little confirmed detail can be known, it is this that may only lead to the hypothetical nature of postulation. I believe..."
For further details on Professor Reed's theories of life and exploration beneath the sea please attend his symposium entitled: 'Earth, the Marvel Beneath Us', being held at the London Opera House, Sunday, April 8th at 12noon.
For now this reporter can only say that we believe this season to be bountiful due to the rise in water levels that will aid irrigation efforts among the lowlands across Britain. Make our vegetables ship shape and bristol fashion farm friends!

• ARTICLE:
  MAN RIDES LIGHTNING! - Execution by Modern Means --(by Bunsen)

Sad may the news be for the Creed family, however for men of science this shall be an event of the new age of technology! At 9 p.m. April 13th all of London may see the sparks fly as the Empire's first execution by electricity takes place.

The Isle of Man Prison atoll is the site of the convicted felon’s demise next week. The high courts sentenced Victor Creed to death by electrocution one month ago. Creed was captured following the slaying of thirty-five fellow factory workers in the Limehouse Fisk-Cavendish factory, in which his testimony was, "hells yeah I killed'um, an' you'd be dead too had I got to ye, yah bloody..." Creed was said to be "fed up" with his unfair wages in the sweatshop where his father and father's father had worked for so many years. Therapist Leonard Samson diagnosed Creed post-internment as "a bloodthirsty sociopath seeking only to fulfill his animalistic urges". Lord Roderick Kelly, senior Member of Parliament, summed up Creed's conviction in a statement, "It is simple. He is not a man, he is an animal. It is come a day for the dawn of humanity among these Darwin-tainted fools, fever swept to destroy the lives of not only thirty-five men but thirty-five families. He deserves to die a coward's death rather than be shown out in a limelight fashion such as the execution chair. A disgrace to humanity."
For whatever your leanings regarding the death of Mr. Creed, we wish those left behind his victims to a safe and happy week's end as this murderer meets his maker. Many scientists and diplomats shall be on hand to witness the event. Seats of special invitation to the event are being auctioned Friday morning, should a morbid curiosity take hold of you.

• ARTICLE:
  SCOTLAND YARD FLOURISHES FROM THE CRIMEAN WAR - A new operative to route out London's seedy element --(by Barney)

Following his return from the Crimean War a young sergeant has been issued an elevated status within Scotland Yard as a special operative on crime. Sgt. Francis Kasteel has joined the policing units and become a new husband and father to be all in the space of his first three month return home following his stint in the war. Returning out of the heart of darkness and into the uniform of Her Majesty Queen Victoria's investigative branch, Kasteel brings an Englishman's tenacity with a knowledgeable mastery of modern weapon logy learned on expedition and study in the American west. Bringing honorary US Marshal status, this man of England hopes to fill the penitentiaries of London with the criminal element. When asked about his methods, Kasteel replied in true secretive fashion... "No comment."

• ARTICLE:
  THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME! - Prussian donates 23 new species to Museum --(by Berino)

London's premier Science Museum on Exhibition Road, South Kensington, a part of the National Museum of Science and Industry has had an astounding influx of exhibit donations thanks to the estate of Prussian Gamesman Sergei Kravinoff. Kravinoff, known for his daring trips into the darkest reaches of the globe, has petitioned for purchase of one of London's brownstone estates just a stroll down from Parliament. The hunter invited Museum directors the rare opportunity to view his personal collection on his Welsh estate on the moors of Baskerville. On their return Kravinoff valeted twelve carriages to return for the donations made.
The exhibition, said to house mammals from the past previously unseen, opens next month. A reception and special 'sneak peak' into the species from history will be given to our Prussian Ambassador this next Saturday evening, April 7th. For guest reservations by special invitation only please contact the Science Museum.

• ARTICLE:
  LONDON'S KINGPIN OF CRIME! - Allegations on the self-proclaimed Industrialist --(by Amos)

"Fat, bloated and full of himself..." said an unnamed London industry leader, in reference to Wilson Fisk-Cavendish of Fisk-Cavendish Enterprises. It has long been rumored that the highly successful capitalist is nothing more than a wart on England's commerce, offering nothing back to his community nor providing the jobs that rivals Starkweather, Osborne and Roxxon offer to London denizens. Many believe that this so-called "Kingpin" of London is nothing more than a crook promoted to his lofty positions by bullying and murdering his way to the top. Mr. Fisk-Cavendish has never been one to make statements to the press, and who would believe it if he did, some would think. It is known all too well by this very paper's Editor-in-Chief that a one Lonnie Thompson, a.k.a. 'Tombstone', has been on 'The Industrialist's' payroll for years. The same Tombstone that is the alleged hit man and mobster enforcer. It is neither this reporter's inclination to postulate on said lies nor promote that a man of means and power would commit criminal acts to raise his company's profit margin - however, as the paper of note within the Empire we maintain our difference to that of the Fisk-Cavendish owned rag 'the (London) Times'. One must ask ourselves what kind of business can one maintain when even their factory workers rebel in defiant protest such as that of one Victor Creed, who slew nearly three dozen of his co-workers in one of the Fisk-Cavendish sweat-shops in the dirty Limehouse district. "I can't see how Wilson will bring his reputation out of the gutter," said London local “what's born and bred in the gutter thrives there like a weed. He's no good I tells ya!"
Shall Fisk-Cavendish rally to this call? Will we hear word from his lofty sewer-soaked pedestal? This reporter waits for your curtain call Mr. Fisk-Cavendish...

---

Sunday, September 9, 1888

XLII, Vol. 1, Issue #2 - COVER - Sunday, September 9, 1888

XLII, Vol. 1, Issue #2 - REVERSE - Sunday, September 9, 1888

XLII, Vol. 1, #2: In this week's paper...

• HEADLINE ARTICLE:
  RIPPER - RED LIGHT KILLING TOO MUCH FOR THE POLICE? --(by Jameson)

One must ask oneself – how is it Scotland Yard, or mayhaps the simpletons at the London Police force are so incompetent as to have this new “Bloody Jack” taunting their blind investigations with such a dreadful letter – brought to you here exclusively from the Trumpet, the only paper of renown!!
More to follow as events unfold.

Dear Boss,
I keep on hearing the police have caught me but they wont fix me just yet. I have laughed when they look so clever and talk about being on the right track. That joke about Leather Apron gave me real fits. I am down on renowns and I shant quit ripping them till I do get buckled. Grand work the last job was. I gave the renown no time to squeal. How can they catch me now. I love my work and want to start again. You will soon hear of me with my funny little games. I saved some of the proper red stuff in a ginger beer bottle over the last job to write with but it went thick like glue and I cant use it. Red ink is fit enough I hope ha. ha. The next job I do I shall clip the renowns ears off and send to the police officers just for jolly wouldn't you. Keep this letter back till I do a bit more work, then give it out straight. My knife's so nice and sharp I want to get to work right away if I get a chance. Good Luck.
Yours truly
Ripper
Dont mind me giving the trade name

PS Wasnt good enough to post this before I got all the red ink off my hands curse it No luck yet. They say I'm a doctor now. ha ha.

• ARTICLE:
  Streets of London Not Safe --(by Urich)

Requests for an increase in the number of officers patrolling the streets of London has been called for by several high ranking members of Parliament. This requests coincides with a recent attack on Professor Bruce Banner one of Scotland's most respected Historians. The Professor was recently discovered wandering the streets of London, sources saying that the Professor was dazed, confused and lacking much in the way of attire. The Professor himself was not available for comment as he has recently left for Gibraltar to recuperate.

• ARTICLE:
  American Evangelist predicts Apocalypse! - Self styled Adam Warlock says Day of Doom at hand! --(by Berino)

Colonials will believe anything, won't they? America has produced a number of home grown prophets. In the wilds of Utah, few are stranger than the man known as Adam Warlock. What his original name is, is anyone's guess, but the declared Messiah has such outlandish claims as having been born fully grown and possessed of a body of what the 'Unsullen Man' looked like. It's easy to see why the uneducated frontiersmen would believe it for Adam is a pretty sight with his golden skin and hair. While I wasn't able to see much of his faith healings or ability to cast out demons, I did get to hear some of his bizarre predictions for the future. In the words of the bizarre man "An ancient evil rests beneath our waves! Sleeping horrors untold in strange eons with the power to strip our planet clean of all life! An evil as ancient as dread Cthon or the horrid Shug-Niggarauth! Only the gemstone of power can banish it!" He even set a specific date for three months in the future. Somehow, I think that he's going to look very foolish when the world doesn't end.

• ARTICLE:
  Famed actor's brother arrested! - Erik Williams pleads innocent to embezzlement --(by Barney)

Erik Williams has always been something of the overshadowed brother to his handsomer, more talented, and more successful brother. Whereas Simon Williams is the heir to the William's fortune and a star of stage, Erik Williams has been unable to graduate beyond middling reviews and mostly served at the sufferance of his brother. Erik's only role of note was to play the part of Death in a series of Edgar Allan Poe adaptations. Given the questionable company that Erik keeps, lower class ruffians and harlots, it’s no wonder that got caught with his hand in the till. Charged with taking leave of 30,000 pounds sterling, Erik is likely to spend much of his life behind bars or be exported from this country to a life better than he deserves. Like the criminal scum that he is, Mister Williams pleads his innocence of all charges.
Simon Williams response was noticeably despondent with his stunned reaction being "I....can't believe they decided Erik did it." Mister Williams was looking dashing that day, despite his mood, with a hand tailored new suit and several bright diamond pieces of jewelry for his latest lady friend.

• ARTICLE:
  Britain to win Space Race! - Doctor Reeds does it again! --(by Urich)

Doctor Richard Reeds has long been considered Britain's greatest mind for a reason. Now, he has begun designing a device that will change mankind's future forever in the Space Cannon! Ever since Jules Verne put Doctor Reed's theories down into his book 'From the Earth to the Moon', people have treated the pursuit with serious success. Most notable has been the French scientific group the Society for the Advancement of Ideas and Mechanics. Doctor Reed's claims his space gun is likely to be ready in several months. The work has not been without tragedy as Doctor Reeds’ partner Victor Von Dumas was hideously wounded in one of their early experiments with the device in Cambridge. An accident that lead to the latter’s expelling from the venerable institution and return to native Transylvania. Well, good riddance to bad rubbish, as Reeds has certainly carried on well without him. Doctor Reeds has more on his mind than space though since he is soon to be married to one of London's most proper socialites in Miss Suzanna Stormweather.

• ARTICLE:
  STARKWEATHER LOOMS LARGE - Lord of Industry shows his colors --(by Lumley)

Sweet success strikes Starkweather Industries again this season! Said to have been inspired by Lady Janette Van Dye, AKA. “the Whipsful Wasp”, Starkweather has released a new fabric from his textile factories to the world this spring, and the world cannot have enough. A revolution in the textile industry and manufacturing in general, these oriental inspired designes, seek to capitalize on the next generation of technology of fashion. Leading the charge from Paris to New York, Starkweather is quilting the Empire and beyond with an intricately laid pattern of mosaics in fabric. This reporter had the good fortune to be sneaked into the textile tyrannosaurus factories over a garden party weekend in the company of Britain’s own Anthony Starkweather himself, fashionable playboy and oriental interested eccentric. What my eyes were amazed to witness was the lack of laborers! That's right true believers, in the modern age all one needs to thrive in industry is a stack of holely cards. Some of our lesser educated audience might think me misspelling "holy", mistaken for a religious artifact among the looms of Starweather Industries but that is not the case dear friends. Let me explain. Shown to me by Henry "Hank" Pym, Starkweather’s chief advisor (and amateur inventor), the mechanized machinery that barely resembles your grandmother's loom of yesteryear are controlled by a series of computerized cards, or “Pym-Papers”, driven by a customized Babbage Engine lovingly referred to by Pym as his "ultra-mechanism". It is unknown to this report just how those paper punched cards wake the machinery into a flurry of fabrication, but it works like a clockwork engine of design. Starkweather has released note that the next fashion trend will be completely divined by the power of the future - contesting this contraption will coordinate the textile fashion design patterns as a part of the intricate programming. The final product: Each piece being an original work created in the world's finest silks, thanks to exclusive rights purchased from Starkweather’s Eastern journeys. Even the New World Colonies are hungering for their first 'Starweathers'. One American Rockefeller lady of note remarked, "I've ordered three dozen, they're to die for!" Will this be the new trend in world domination through fashion? You heard it here first London!

• ARTICLE:
  THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME! - Prussian donates 23 new species to Museum --(by Berino)

London's premier Science Museum on Exhibition Road, South Kensington, a part of the National Museum of Science and Industry has had an astounding influx of exhibit donations thanks to the estate of Prussian Gamesman Sergei Kravinoff. Kravinoff, known for his daring trips into the darkest reaches of the globe, has petitioned for purchase of one of London's brownstone estates just a stroll down from Parliament. The hunter invited Museum directors the rare opportunity to view his personal collection on his Welsh estate on the moors of Baskerville. On their return Kravinoff valeted twelve carriages to return for the donations made.
The exhibition, said to house mammals from the past previously unseen, opens next month. A reception and special 'sneak peak' into the species from history will be given to our Prussian Ambassador this next Saturday evening, April 7th. For guest reservations by special invitation only please contact the Science Museum.

• ARTICLE:
  SCOTLAND YARD FLOURISHES FROM THE CRIMEAN WAR - A new operative to route out London's seedy element --(by Barney)

Following his return from the Crimean War a young sergeant has been issued an elevated status within Scotland Yard as a special operative on crime. Sgt. Francis Kasteel has joined the policing units and become a new husband and father to be all in the space of his first three month return home following his stint in the war. Returning out of the heart of darkness and into the uniform of Her Majesty Queen Victoria's investigative branch, Kasteel brings an Englishman's tenacity with a knowledgeable mastery of modern weapon logy learned on expedition and study in the American west. Bringing honorary US Marshal status, this man of England hopes to fill the penitentiaries of London with the criminal element. When asked about his methods, Kasteel replied in true secretive

---

Friday, September 15, 1888

XLII, Vol. 1, Issue #14 (3) - COVER - Friday, September 15, 1888

XLII, Vol. 1, Issue #14 (3) - REVERSE - Friday, September 15, 1888

XLII, Vol. 1, #14 (3): In this week's paper...

• HEADLINE ARTICLE:
  AVENGERS ASSEMBLED - But not soon enough? --(by Jameson)

The glourious Osborne House, so many times this editor has not been invited for tea with the Queen… And never he will again it seems. Better late than never would not be a good phrase to use with the newly assembled Men of Renown this autumn. Formed at the Queen’s descression by Prime Minister Lord Henry-Peter Gyrich, these men, woman and machine (scandalous!) arrived hours late to save the Queen’s summer cottage weeks ago and as yet have done nothing, known to this editor to retake the land that seems to be being “invaded” by smoldering “Magma-Men”. The channel continues to boil and good citizens continue to return from the Isle of Wight with no end in sight to the destruction of said beasties. God save the Queen? I say God save our wasted tax pounds…

• ARTICLE:
  H.G. Wells spins latest yarn - Mysterious adventurer discovers immortals on Jovian Moon --(by Berino)

After speaking of the fantastic tales of time travel and invisibility, the noted novelist states that he is writing his latest opus about another dream inspired group of heroes. The next fictional set of space adventures will be taking place on the moon of Titan. Descriptions of what his stories will be about are usually quite rare but Herbert Wells was kind enough to give his fans these words of what to expect "Titan is a fantastic world ruled by all the ancient human-like gods of Mythology. Circe, Eros, Thanatos, and other beings that we only talk about in classical education. They live bored and decadent lives as they are controlled by an all powerful machine that governs their every action. Even they are subject to more powerful forces though. The book will chronicle the scientist hero witnessing the casting out of one of them for his murderous devotion to Death itself!" Brrrrrr! Spooky Herbert! This reporter will stick with his Dickens, thank you very much.

• ARTICLE:
  Weird West comes to London - Jonathan Blaze's Traveling Spook and Cowboy show arrives tomorrow! --(by Barney)

The Weird West show is something that we Londoners should probably be able to do without. Bad enough that we had to put up with Buffalo Bill's ridiculous visit, but now we have to deal with his supernatural thriller rip off. Jonathan Blaze, an unsuccessful Colonial cowboy, created the show some four years ago. Its purpose is to entertain (and I use the term loosely) onlookers with stories that he claims were told to him by Indians. The chief attraction is Jonathan Blaze's 'Phantom Rider' that is little more than a scare tale retelling of Washington Irving's Sleepy Hollow Headless Horseman transplanted to a Western setting.
Other attractions are of similar lack in character with the gypsy fortune teller Victoria Montessi (a tart whose as much gypsy as I'm Prince Albert), Daniel Ketch's questionable riding act through fire rings (rumors attest that he is one of Blaze's wild oats to explain how he got this job), and Hannibal King whom does the worst faux Dracula impression I've ever seen. Londoners can learn to spend their money on something more entertaining.

• ARTICLE:
  The Crook and the Princess! - Clint Barton escorts Romanov niece to State Function --(by Leeds)

Rough and tumble Australian Clint Barton is no stranger to trouble. Since his arrival in London, the man has been in three altercations with his fists and been seen in the company of some of London's finest young ladies. His original traveling companion in fellow Australian Barbara Morse has not been seen with him since his arrival and it seems he may have offended her. Nevertheless, given who he's traveling with now, it’s obvious he should be glad of her letting him stray. Natasha Romanova, Russia's finest flower, is visiting from her native land this month and has chosen a most unusual companion for the regalia. I say, good for you Mister Barton!

• ARTICLE:
  SCIENCE MUSEUM SNEAK PEAK! - Kravinoff’s gift to London’s premier Science Museum --(by Berino )

The exhibition, said to house mammals from the past previously unseen, opens next month. A reception and special 'sneak peak' into the species from history will be given to our Prussian Ambassador this next Saturday evening. For guest reservations by special invitation only please contact the Science Museum.

• ARTICLE:
  WILD MAN OF CANADA VISITS LONDON - Professor James Hudson and wife showing off 'Living Neanderthal' Find --(by Urich)

London's Natural History museum is in for a shock according to sources. Canadian James Hudson and his wife have long maintained that Neanderthal man might still be alive on the planet Earth in remote areas. Dismissed as a crackpot, the anthropologist claims he and his wife Heather managed to stumble on proof quite by accident.
According to reports, the 'Wolverine of the Wild' has been living with no tools and only his hunting skills like early man from possible birth. Wild rumors abound about what the living Neanderthal possesses in skill but some suggest he has claws like an animal and amazing physical endurance. Mrs. Hudson has affectionately named the caveman 'Logan' after her late father.

• ARTICLE:
  COAL FIRE THREATENS EAST END! - The Isle of Dogs and the Limehouse nearly erupt --(by Berino)

Poor working conditions and firebugs threaten the East End as fires continue to be an industrial hazard within the lower-end factories, sweat-shops and pederian living facilities. Opium is said to be a contributor to the problems as drug-fiends populate the open factories by night looking for a warm corner to drift away into. Unfortunately these same madmen have found themselves caught in the blazes on more than one occasion. East End facilitates no mobile fire fighting brigades, so fires go unchecked until local communities find a way to relieve the burning buildings most commonly by fire-breaks created by dynamiting unharmed buildings. Many West End men of industry are being affected by the troubles in the dingy districts, either directly or indirectly. Whatever the causes petitions have been made to Parliament for watch guards to patrol the streets of the red-light districts. Unfortunately I wouldn't hold your breath boys...

• ARTICLE:
  CURSE OF KING TUT STRIKES AGAIN! - The 'Wrath of Khonshu' dismissed by accident survivor --(by Urich)

Noted Archaeologist and veteran of her Majesty's Army, Professor Marcus Spector is one of the few survivors of Howard Carter's expedition into the tomb of King Rama-Tut. Today, a group of wild dogs broke into the home of the man and severely mauled three guests before the Professor dispatched them with an antique silver blade that was in his possession. The young Professor was showing off his latest acquisition to his extensive Egyptian artifacts collection in a statue of the legendary figure of Khonshu.
The Professor had the unusual comment "I am fully prepared to tip the scales of Khat in the favor of the side of good. Whether the Anubians attempt to drag my guests to Hell or not."
The lovable eccentric is known for his many theories on Egyptian sacrificial practices, not the least of which is the concept of holy assassins that stalked enemies of Pharaoh. Frankly, this reporter isn't so quick to dismiss such strange events as some. Either that or Mark left too much raw fresh out!

• ARTICLE:
  DRUNKEN BRAWL DISRUPTS THEATER SHOWING - Continued loutish behavior of London stage star delays showing --(by Urich)

Veteran leading man Simon Williams once more caused uproar in the London art scene when he broke character during a performance to punch one of the audiences in the nose. Unusual behavior even for the man who’s Heathcliffe has been dwarfed by his off-stage exploits, it has been reported that the man in the audience was at the side of Simon's paramour Carol Danvers.
Despite Mister William's noted physique, the injured party was said to have given as good as he got. This is due to the fact that the party was none other than visiting Australian rancher Clinton Barton. Having just won several athletics competitions the day before including the Welsh national archery tournament.
When asked of the incident, the Colonial responded "Eh. The pretty boy 'as some nerve. The Lady accepted my invitation while he was off romancin' his costars. He'll think twice about attacking me. Man wouldn't last an hour on a hunt with the 'Borginees."

---

Friday, October 5, 1888

XLII, Vol. 1, Issue #20 (4) - COVER - Friday, October 5, 1888

XLII, Vol. 1, Issue #20 (4) - REVERSE - Friday, October 5, 1888

XLII, Vol. 1, Issue #20 (4) - PAGE 2 - Friday, October 5, 1888

XLII, Vol. 1, #20 (4): In this week's paper...

• HEADLINE ARTICLE:
  Spyder-Slayer! - The Ripper Strikes again, Two Caught in His Web Last Eve! --(by Jameson)

Let us take a moment my empirical friends and examine that which Scotland Yard has been unable to solve, namely “the Ripper” slayings! It is known to be true my friends that the urchins of man are oft-times a superstitious and cowardly lot. And who can deny that spiders are predatory invertebrate animals? It is only through the power of the written word of truth, here within the Trumpet, that our collective societal disgust must be able to strike back - forcing the terror witnessed upon the average Joe-citizen to fall from his heart. I must warn you my fellow Londoners, a creature of the night, black, bloody red and terrible stalks your children...
This web of fear - a mankind menace, which we have called the “unknowable Spyder-Man”, continues to prey on the fair denizens of our formerly safe city. Witnesses of the most recent bodies to be found from the “Ripper” slayings have confirmed the man-spyder as having been chasing good people fleeing in fear for their lives as recent as last evening! Must it be the duty of this lone editor to beg the question for which the local bobbies have not?? Must our dear readers be kept in the dark on this travesty of detective ability?
Details on the most recent slayings of the bloody Ripper are sparsely known as yet. It is told to this reporter that two London citizens (one Mr. Black and one Mr. Scarlotti) were found both dressed in armor (perhaps hunting the Spyder-Man?!!) nearly decapitated with their brain-matters removed. Can no one see this gruesome connection? The Ripper Slayers is Spyder-Man. Spyder-Man is the Ripper Slayer. There, it is said. Now perhaps our dutiful protectors will do their job and find the beast. Feel fear now you saucy Jack, your time has come!

• ARTICLE:
  SCOTLAND YARD CRACKS DOWN - New operative Sgt. Kasteel makes his mark on crime --(by Barney)

Crimean War Sgt. Francis Kasteel leads the charge on fighting and finding London’s worse. London’s arrest rate continues to climb for the most hostile of the city’s underbelly with the new leadership of Sgt. Kasteel. Though rare to make a committed statement, Kasteel had this to say regarding the latest fear mongering generated on London’s streets by the serial killings in the Whitechapel district:

"eh… criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot. It is time, London, that we must be able to strike terror into killer’s such as this ‘Ripper’s’ hearts... They must be punished, justice must be served!", quickly given context by Scotland Yard's Captain George Stacy who qualified: "With the stern hand of due process and the most modern of the new forensic sciences, I'm sure that Sgt. Kasteel will find his man!"

At the dawn of the 20th century, it would seem that the combination of Captain Stacy’s brains and Sgt. Kasteel’s brawn approach and the reformation of the Queen’s men of renown, ‘the Masterful Avengers’ may be the end to this madness of windswept fear that has filled the streets of our fair city. We can only hope that it has come soon enough.

• ARTICLE:
  Fashion Victims! - Ultra-Mechanism Kills Three in Textile Accident --(by Berino)

It is with a sad homecoming tragedy that one of London’s most renowned mechanical minds has found his way back to the British Isles. Paris could not contain the mental prowess of a London born gentleman genius, but harsh fate seems to be the forever mistress. Professor Henry “Hank” Pym has been confirmed to have joined efforts with the modern master of mechanisms at Starkweather Industries. Starkweather spokesman Harold Hogan officially announced this week the unveiling of the Starkweather Textile Auto-Generator. The analytical difference engine had been named in rumor to have been the origin creator of several textile fabrics that have ‘revolutionized’ the textile industry of late after having been released across the empire late autumn. With such critical and financial acclaim it is with sad heart that we must report the accidental death of three young women this past week. The mechanized loom spun and flailed the former seamstress employees into brusing deaths, as the women found themselves pulled into the contraption by the very fabrics on which they worked.

“Honestly and sincerely, it couldn’t be helped. For what witnesses can say the fault was not of my ultra-machamism, but sadly that of lack of care by those poor urchins. My heart goes out to the widowed husbands and motherless childs that are the true victims in this horrible horrible accident. Honestly I cannot see what could have been done... Safety is a chief concern Anthony (Starkweather) has always passed down... I need a stiff drink.” – Professor Pym commented in a partial daze when interviewed by London Police following the incident.

So yes, perhaps the motherless children and wifeless husbands of these sorry souls might wish to consider the new doctrine (reported on in this issue) and "neo-ludite" movement of the Church Against the Unnatural. Or perhaps they can wrap themselves in the comfort of a new blanket strait from the auto-loom afforded by the lawsuit sure to be settled out of court by the industrialist tycoon.

• ARTICLE:
  Batty Doctor Missing --(by Urich)

Doctor Michael Morbius a leading researcher of the Royal London College of Physicians is missing. Police yesterday confirmed that Professor Morbius could not be located at either his offices or place of residence. Sources have informed us that his offices & laboratory were discovered in a state of chaos, this is assumed to be result of intruders. We are unable to confirm what exactly he was working on, but it would strangely appear to involve Bats, the remains of which were discovered slaughtered in his lab.

• ARTICLE:
  Wayward Lord of Britain Returns - Long thought dead heir is discovered alive in Himalayas! --(by Leeds)

A shocking story of yet another Tarzan like lost lord, Lord Daniel Randalson was nine years old when his father and explorer Lord Wendell Randalson took his family on a fool's expedition to find the mythical city of Shangri-La in the frosts of Tibet. Believed lost, the nation mourned the loss of one of its most proud families. However, in a shocking twist, a now adult Randalson arrived at the British consulate in Hong Kong with a heavy pack from traveling all across China! Though his English was poor from disuse, apparently Daniel survived his parent’s death and made his way to what he claims was the legendary city. While experts agree that such a city is the product of Daniel wanting to make his marooning amongst orientals a bit more interesting, they have confirmed him by a birthmark and his striking resemblance to his late father. Lord Randalson has since settled into his mansion in an uneasy fit, fond of his Asian silk and esoteric physical practices. He is even seen consorting with an accused African pirate in Lukas Cage! Nevertheless, money talks in the London social scene and he is now scion to what was once one of the most wealthy Crown properties in all of the British Empire. How the Randalson Trading Consortium will be affected by its new ownership is anyone's guess.

• ARTICLE:
  Ruffians - Get Their Comeuppance --(by Staff)

The bodies of Bill Sykes and the Braglish brothers, reportedly former pupils and a part of Fagin Owlsley's training "academy" for pickpocketing, low-rent henchmen, cannon fodder and other criminal activities, were recently discovered in the streets of the Whitechapel district. The notorious trio had a reputation for the most violent and heinous crimes. Due to the extent of damage to the bodies, the police believe that the pair was struck by a speeding coach as they attempted to rob it.
The jewish fence (Fagin) was recently at the center of a highly-publicized arrest, escape, recapture, and trial. Some accounts of Owlsley also describe him as a London underworld "kidsman". A kidsman defined as an recruiter of children to train them as pickpockets, exchanging food and shelter for goods the children stole, gathering their loyalty for future endevours.
Apparently false, reports note the Solomon Institute for the Criminally Insane as a front for one of "the Owl's" training academies. Rumor has it that the Solomon Institute was found refining a Darwin Son Growth Hormone from Owlsley's own genetic material and others to enbolden criminal activity with powers of renown.

• ARTICLE:
  Neo-Ludism - Are analytical intelligence difference engines abominations of the industrial age? --(by Berino)

The Archdiocese of Westminster, the ecclesiastical diocese of the Roman Catholic Church in the heart of London, is hosting a series of rally lectures to speak on an exploratory study of recent claims and creations by prominent scientific minds within the Empire, such as Richard Reeds, Nickoli Tesla, Henry Pym, Abner Jenkins, Marie Curie, Bruce Banner, Alphonse Frankenstein, Elihas Starr, Doktor Belivar Trask’s posthumous work of Charles Babbage and others. Ninny naysayers speak in terms such as a "neo-ludite" movement when chastising the Church Against the Unnatural (C.A.T.U.) who are a growing fringe Catholic group with views on the concept of analytical intelligence difference engines as abominations. Officially of the Catholic sect known as "the Triune Understanding" whose focus is primarily invested in the fast-growing movement to maximize human potential.
The Luddites being a social movement of British textile artisans in the early nineteenth century who protested — often by destroying sewing machines — against the changes produced by the Industrial Revolution, which they felt threatened their livelihood.
C.A.T.U. is a part of the Archdiocese consisting of all the London boroughs north of the River Thames and west of the River Lea, together with the towns southwest of Staines and Sunbury-on-Thames, and the County of Hertfordshire, which lies immediately to London's north. Please contact your local parish for more details.

• ARTICLE:
  ESSEX RUINS ANTHROPOLOGY PRESENTATION - Promising Professor's career cut short by madman's rambles --(by Leeds)

Lord Nathaniel Essex has always been an embarrassment to his home country. The only child of a formerly respectable family of Doctors, Nathaniel Essex destroyed all his credibility as a physician when he gave a ghastly presentation on human biology incorporating sideshow freaks and some grizzly examples of his former professor Henry Moreau's surviving work.
Unfortunately, Nathaniel Essex is not content to destroy his own career but now has ruined the hope of one of Britain's more prominent students of life science. Professor Charles Xavier had his presentation hijacked by the bizarre nobleman and his conclusions diverted to bizarre realms of supposition in what will surely drive the University board to remove his position as a lecturer.
The soft spoken Xavier has been a proponent of the controversial work 'Origin of Species' for some time. Indeed, Charles has been the first man to openly suggest that human beings might undergo similar environmental changes in order to explain the differences between the various physical types of man that exist in the world. While this reporter finds it to be somewhat crackpot sounding, it was difficult not to respect the seriousness that the man took it.
During Xavier's speech though, Essex repeatedly brought up bizarre and bizarre questions related to the idea of whether or not the Professor believed that human beings might be adapting to the environment in visible ways NOW of all times. The questions were construed to force the poor man to answer positively to most of them in order to keep his theories from falling completely apart. Essex even suggested some freaks of nature and deformed babies might be adaptations than victims of the Industrial Revolution.
At this, Xavier's audience began to walk out and it was clear that the man's Academic future was destroyed. An attempted interview the next day was thwarted by the fact that Charles had already cleaned out his office. At least he won't starve, since the man has apparently refurbished his family estate to serve as a boarding school for young men seeking a higher education. This reporter wishes him well.

• ARTICLE:
  Barvarian Illuminati - An Allegiance of the World’s Greatest Minds, a 19th Century Hydra! --(by Staff)

Prussian gentleman noble, Baron Wolfgang von Strucker is reported to be forging an alliance of strategicly innovative minds which Prussian ambasadors say could one day rival any within the British empire. Aiding him in his quest are Dr. Hobart Zemo the Germanic 10th Baron of Zemo blood and Colonel Johnathan Smith, former American Confederate commander during the Civil War. Strucker has assembled an impressive array of minds under the banner of his family's crest: the Lernaean Hydra (an ancient serpent-like chthonic water beast that possessed numerous heads).
Strucker has also enlisted the aid of a swedish scientist named Arin Zola, who has been studying Darwin's theory of natural selection and has expanded greatly upon it, progressivly incorporating theroms based on the analytical engine designs of Charles Babbage.
This recently dubbed "Barvarian Illuminati" seems to have attracked many of the Empire's most brilliant scientists. We will certainly be on the lookout for many exciting furtherance in the coming times.

• ARTICLE:
  Out-thinking London’s Underbelly - Can modern social reform be visited on the worst of criminal minds? --(by Leeds)

Doctor Armin Zolo, known for his advanced work with primates and analytical engine mechanics, has taken on a new role in London-town recently - that of social criminal reformist! Dr. Zolo has negotiated contract facility work with the Isle of Man Atoll's Riker Correctional Facility. The good doctor's first rehabilitation "project" is a young man and former machinist at London's Maxim-Nordenfelt Guns, Ammunition Industry Munitions. Clause M. Tarleton had risen to directorate level set to analyze, probe and improve the organization's productivity in its scientific endeavors, while still being subservient to the higher echelons of the organization - but unfortunately found himself embroiled in a criminally ambitious plot to seize controlling assets of MNG-AIM through hostile takeover maneauvers. Imprisoned for his white collar crimes, Master Tarleton had become more and more volatile in the last years, of which Dr. Zolo believes cancer of the brain to be the cause. Zolo has indicated that he believes through a series of electrocution and chemically induced therapy he can has Tarleton headed in the best direction before the holidays. God love science!

• ARTICLE:
  Doom on London-town! - Inventor Given Grant for Future Studies --(by Leeds)

Reclusive London inventor Alexander Hartdegen was awarded a massive grant from the solemn country of Latveria for the coming new year. Latveria, the isolated nation of Germanic, Hungarian and mixed European stock is located in the Banat region surrounded by the Carpathians, has issued Latverian Francs of an undisclosed fortune to the London based mathmatitian, clocksmith and temporal physisist.
Lord Otto Von Doom, master of the Latverian Dictatorship - or as his lordship refers to it: "enforced monarchy", issued the personal telegraph from Latveria's capital Hassenstadt, for the creation of a private study to be developed over the next decade. It is unknown as to what or how the London inventor came to this good fortune, but it could be guessed that this will create a new factory in London-town that is dreadfully needed in these harsh economic times.

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The TRUMPET STAFF

Owners: Fireheart & Moriarty

Publisher: J. Jones Jameson

Administrative: Betsy Brant

Editor-in-Chief: Joseph Robertson

Photographers: Edmund Brocker, Pieter Parkure, Cole Cooper

Reporters: Tom Amos, Ben Urich, Ron Barney, Michael Berino, Philip Bostwich

Gossip Columnist: Miriam Birchwood

Fashion Editor: The Heiress - Lady Janette Van Dyne

Fashion Columnist: Judy Lumley

Entertainment Editor: Arnold Sibert

Sports Columnist: Eugene "Flash" Thompson

Science Editor: Isabel "Izzy" Bunsen

Men of Renown Columnist : Jessica Jones

Obituary Writer: Dilbert Trilby

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AGE OF WONDERS - "The IMPERIALS"