Editing Forgotten Freedom:45

Kanatash: If I screw you here you are sure to get Kithle and Satnak on your side and come to get payback.  I may be crazy and an Uber but I know better than to take on three Ubers at once.

Sa'vor: He has a point.  Without the captain and two of us Ubers the crew and anybody else ticked off at us is sure to rip the tub apart.

Redshirt 2: I know. Feels like we've got the devil's luck or something.

Redshirt 2: I... uh... we... uh... um...

Redshirt 1: *ghaack* ... *gurgle* ... *choke*

Allen: But still... I thought there was supposed to be some kind of test as a pretext for all the senseless slaughter. Sa'vor kept them on thier toes, and that's what I'm doing in his stead. I just can't figure out what you're up to...

Jarlot 1: So it's a little hit point loss.  I never got past death's door.

Jarlot 1: I must admit that my favorite part was the Vault of the Spider Queens where Sa'vor threw me into the succubus pit.

Savor: Neither had I.  When he begged me not to toss him to the succubi... you have to admit, I wasn't thinking too clearly.

Kanatash: Let's just say after this excursion... I'M doubting my sanity at this point.  Jarlot inhabits a weird world of eldritch concepts like levels and saving throws that render him unable to be causally affected by normal concepts.  I'm going to have to go beyond normal 4 dimensional thinking in order to come up with a way to end this.

Stupid begins searching for a heart, from a "wizard", he believe it will make him smart again. So he ends up asking every mage on board for on. Here are the responses.

Nalfein : Volrath borrowed my last one.

Sa'vor : *Grumble* (holds up hand and blasts Stupid away.)

Crow: Kanatash, Sa'vor, we can help with that idea.

Kanatash: Ah, friend Crow who informed me of who let Crystal aboard.  Though you have repeatedly stated that your actions are always random and without any thought of consequence, we shall hear what you have to say.

Sa'vor and Kanatash exchange looks.

Kanatash: But that's not enough to break Jarlot.

Silver: You saw them once, Kanatash.

Kantash: She is overqualified to be a Daelkyr.  And she was doing it "all-natural".

Silver: Caralot takes copious notes.

Jarlot: That's it... .you... off my ship.

BatJarlot: I thought you forbade those.

Jarlot: YES... I KNOW.

Batjarlot: Criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot.

Satnak proceeds to mash BatJarlot to a fine paste and boil it.

Satnak - Plot device that, *****. Now for you.

Terra: How did she... you know... get like this?

Tifa: Aren't you a good Menchi? Yes you are... WITH HOT SAUCE!

Terra: Put... the... Dog... Down.

Tifa: NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY FOOD! GET YOUR OWN, WEIRD VEGETARIAN LADY!

Aerith: She's just a bit sensetive, having been formerly part wolf.

Aerith: You're really diligent at that.

Andrea: Damn it.

Aerith: Alas, we're just friends.  We're not anatomically compatible sadly.

Lisa: Well... I'm... uhh...

Andrea: Well suffice to say, Tifa's bisexual but loves Jarlot... and ONLY Jarlot... though I question if their relationship was ever consummated...

Andrea: Have some yarn, dear.

Andrea: Sadly, for all of Michael's open-mindedness... straight as an arrow.   

Aerith: It's just that well... you know what happens if Jarlot truly gets unconditionally happy.

Aerith: Well... boom.

Terra looked at the girl, confused. When her stomach rumbled, the girl smiled and pulled out a cookie from her pocket and offered it to her. After a moment, Terra meekly reached out to accept it. At this time, what appeared to be the girl's mother found them and pulled the girl away. The girl protested vehemently, but the woman would have none of it. Several adults came to check out the commotion, saw Terra, and began pelting her with rocks. Shielding her head, she fled back into the alley, now nursing several bruises and a bleeding forehead.

Lisa: Demon... child?

Terra: What do you think the inquisitors do? Why did they try so fervently to destroy the lycanthropes? Because they thought they deserved it. Another example, why do you smite demons, fiends, and aberrations?  

Crow: Because when you work for a thing above gods, capriciousness is a job hazard.  Today we think about Batman and D&D.

Silver: Can you say completely zorched?

Crow: Truly.  You have to witness the crime to smite someone?  What's the fun in that?  Give them the abiltiy to do the Batman Backhand.

Crow: Permanently insane.  Just listen to Terra's stories.  The inquisition goes after lycanthropes and demons because once you hit them with the right magic you know what they are.  Try casting detect evil in your average village, and you'll be saying "Okay, wait a minute, do I have enough time to kill this many people."

Crow: And you get "experience points" for killing things.  Okay, yeah, sure.  I can understand when it's Diplomating or breaking a trap.  But when killing something?  What, are experience points that primal feeling of release you get when you rip through a troll's neck so that its weird colored blood spurts over your shiny armor?

Norbaz sits in his secret room in the kitchen, filled with assassin gear.  Sneaking Suits, crossbow bolts, crossbow winches, various types of bolts, numerous poisons, different types of knives... pointy knives... that burn with the hatred of a thousand - oh you get the picture.  He sits at a small desk writing in a journal.

Nobaz: Cooky's log entry.  Having no idea what Andrea's first hand response to my letter I am left with only one option, directly asking her.  I've heard conflicting stories, and from what I can gather I may have a chance... I just need to get over my shyness and talk to her.  As such, I am treating figuring out how to confront her as I would treat one of my usual jobs.  I've spent the last few days casing her to get a feel for her routine and have devised the proper way to catch her off guard about the question.  I just hope that in my usual interactions before this time nothing unfortunate happens.  I will catch her in the evening outside her door as she is returning to her extradimensional magnificent mansion, ask the question, and hope to all things divine and demonic that this doesn't explode in my face...

Andrea: The Karrnath blood pudding please.

Norbaz: Sure, so... uh, Iheardyougotmyletter.

Volrath: They only spoke in Daelkyr. The dialect I had learned, from my father, was much older than theirs. I could catch words and certain sentences, but not enough to communicate, meaningfully. They treated me good, gave me food, clean clothes, and anything else they could provide. All they asked in return was for me to perform some duties, as their deity’s proxy. Most of these duties revolved around the sacrifices. You probably would have found them downright vile, but I loved them. Especially that altar girl, but nothing came of it. It only lasted a year.

Volrath: They didn’t recognize me, for what I am, because my crawling gauntlet, Thing, had left while I was knocked out. They thought I was some brainwashed kid, and that they were rescuing me.

The adventurers pack up and begin to rest for the night. Volrath, however, remains active. He picks up a pair of bolas. Using the wire between them, he strangles the dwarf. The dwarf struggles and squirms, but is unable to release any cry for help, as he dies. Volrath tries to pick up the bolas again, but they are tangled in the dwarf’s beard. So he goes to one of the humans, and pulls the man’s sword, from its sheath. Hefting the sword, he plunges it into the man’s heart.

Volrath: Does that stop you from loving your blackguard sister?

Volrath: Kithle isn’t the only one who can mind-probe. Anyways, back to the story.

The other man stands up, at his companion’s dying screams. The knight searches for his sword, but is grabbed around the neck, by a chitinous claw. Thing slashes the man’s throat, and then crawls over to its place on Volrath’s hand. The elf woman is looking at Volrath, a look of horror on her face.

Volrath: Her look of fear and horror reminded me so much of my sister, that I couldn’t bring myself to kill. As she blasted magic at, all I could do was lift my hand in front of my face, as the energy rushed toward me. That was when my warlock powers manifested. A blast of eldritch energy shot out of my hand and took out a good portion of her torso. After I watched her fall, in a bloody heap, I set out toward the horizon, wondering what would come next.