Editing Forgotten Freedom:59

Aerith: You know, me being an enormous ****... which almost would work except for the fact that they tried to pair me with Kanatash of all people.

Aerith: *waves up at DM* No using us to advertise your gawddamned books.

Jaela: But did it happen? Like Gwen Stacy having the Green Goblin's babies?

Aerith: that depends on the writer and fan acceptance.  I mean, you wouldn't think Lisa being in a same-sex relationship would be one of our more touching stories but there it is.

Jaela: I'm Jarlot's daughter now. I find that creepy on many levels.

Jaela: So some stuff is real and some stuff is not based on how the character would react...

Aerith: We're in the realm of Uncertainty Principle on this ship pretty much now.  Lisa for example could be written as sleeping with Jarlot but we know THAT won't happen.

Jaela: Because it's a character trait that she only has slept with Michael and Terra?

Aerith: But yes, if you suddenly made Ketler not an anime geek or a buffed up guy it would be reversed... sort of like any cure to the Thing's rocky state.

 

Michael sits in the bar, trying to drown out both the image of Lisa and Terra as chibis and of his own time spent as one. When your sword (which should burn with the fires of darkness) glows pink and looks plastic, you know you need a stiff drink.

Michael: I can't seem to get that image out of my head. It's just so... so wrong! How could I sleep with her now? I mean, every time I'll just-

Doog: You okay?

Suddenly an evil laugh sounds from the darkness nearby and Caralot emerges.

Caralot: Oh, I'll let you out.  We're going to have some fun my little bundle of cuteness. :evillaugh  

Michael: I just had... the most incredible night... in the history of ANYTHING! I didn't sleep a wink! You wouldn't believe some of the stuff they do!

 

Volrath: (So full of rage he completely ignores what is being said on the crystal.) That ***** she taped over my crystal, I would... (looks back at crystal) Wow, that's kinky. I haven't seen Terra bend like that sense... Lisa isn't that against your  

religion... You're not going to, oh you are, oh (shudders).

 

Silver: Between the time warps and the fact that progenitor dragons aren't the same materially as mortals— and Jarlot has to be lying about being the child of Khyber— it's about the same as Jaela being with a Khyber dragonshard.

Lucky (using an amulet of ventirloquism): Well, as you all know we've been having a vote on the name for the bar.  It appears the votes were in about a week ago, and no one has submitted any more.  Therefore I have the pleasure of announcing that this establishment is now formally known as Erk's Place.

Kanatash: Hmph.

Norbaz: Dreadhold... Someone wants me to off a prisoner in dreadhold?!  What... a bank note... :eek: ...I'll take the assassination! ...hmm... gonna need some help on this one... killing a lich isn't gonna be easy... wait, the person who sent this... is the person I'm supposed to kill?  Okay, so a lich in prison wants be be destroyed so they rebuild somewhere else.  Gonna need to ask an undead expert for... help... crud.

Klaz: -yrm. 'E calls 'imself 13 or Thyrs, dependin' on his mood. Now I'm going to try and touch im. Now kiddies, don't try this at home; I'm a professional which means that I'm-

P/Y/R: And I didn’t even get to see him Chibi-fied… I’ll just have to have mommy change him later or may be mommy could make me another wand.

P/Y/R: So what I’m Half Demon Unseelie Sidhe who thinks the sound of stuff breaking is a turn on. The only think mommy said was that we are not supposed to destroy the Eberron before she moves her realm into the planes.  

Volrath: This could be the start of a great realationship :lightbulb  :dancin: .  

Volrath walks into Kelter’s Lab with a smile on his face and hands him a sensory stone.  

Ketler:  No! How! Why would my sweet Jeala stoop to banging you when she could have me! *starts to cry  :weep: *

P/Y/R in the Form of Jaela: See I told you, he would snap.

 

13 (using ventriloquism): [COLOR=Navy]There's one thing you forgot, Mr. Dingbo.  Or has all that damage you take daily finally loosened your brain?[/COLOR]

Jaela: Thanks, boys.  I can never get him interested in bondage.

Jaela lets out a very unusual growl.  Klaz and Vrin flee.

13 waits until he's sure they're out of sight.

13 (telepathically to Jaela): [COLOR=DarkRed]You really are kinky.  I mean, who'd have thought that Klaz would be fooled by all that stuff about dragons not being able to break jaw-bonds?  You're good at this.  And I'm a progenitor dragon.  If I wanted to I could take out Sharn by sneezing.[/COLOR]

Prospective Passenger: Yes, Captain Jarlot, that's correct. I'm doing a study for the Morgraive University on the effects that chaos and insanity have on the very fabric of the world itself. I thought that it would be the perfect place for my research, since your ship is the highest concentration of both, as well as those that the crew refer to as "ubers" which I theorize may warp reality by their very presence.

Prospective Passenger: I have a Morgraive University open expense account for the duration of the study.

Liam: Mr.... *looks at notepad* Broken Blade or should I say D'vol?  

Sa'vor: since I discovered my bloodrights and bear the marks of death. then I would prefer you to call me D'vol  

Sa'vor: orginally I and the daemon lord possessing me, Naz'roth, decided to join this ship in the process of robbing one of the more prestigious banks. within this bank was a gauntlet. one of Naz'roth's more powerful artifacts, in which was contained a large portion of his power.  

Liam: ah yes, I have a quote from one of the other crew members that suits that time "The b****** got what he deserved. if only I could of have keelhauled him at the time"  

Sa'vor: *slight smile which shows his slightly elongated canines* ah... Captain Jarlot. lost none of his insubtlety. anyhow, the plane went sideways. the Sarlonans had stolen the item and hidden it. the rest well... is history, as they say.  

Sa'vor: Well... where to start? Kithle, my lord, is perhaps one of the evilest members of this crew. I serve him with complete loyalty. Jarlot, my captain, while being insane, a drunkard and a complete imbecile I still admire greatly for being able to keep this ship and its crew together so well. Dooj, is an oaf, a fool and a bully but with that he has a huge desire to mutiny. furtunatly he lacks the brainpower and the skill to take control.

 

Terra, is perhaps one of the more inventive crew members, her spy networks probably cover the very cosmos. she has surprised me on many occasions with her schemes. Kanatash, is the horror of the ship. he is an entity whom exists only to cause insanity. he a manifestation of insanity drawn to this ship like a moth to flame. his mind transcends the mortal realms of thinking. Caralot, Kanatash's lover, is a genetics expert. they both share the same twisted and insane mind ... exept she is drawn to Diabolicaly cute things.  

Ketler is a perverted artificer whom lives for the day Jaela will forget to wear any clothes when she enters the mess hall. a dream many of the crew share.  

Lisa, is the ship's paladin. she shares a relationship with Terra, she was sent here on a search for redemption, I think that she does extremely well with trying to spread some good on this ship.  

Michael, well, is a bit of an idiot. and a slave to his own desires and emotions. but I must confess a master at drinking large amounts of alchol and still surving. Erk is a suprising character and runs a bar on the lower decks, I don't frequent there, I would be intruding on the scum's territory. I prefer to eat my meals... *Very evil smile* elsewhere.  

Volrath, to whom Kanatash is an uncle, is the Ship's librarian and fellow warlock. he prefers to stick to the aberration side of life and magic. we walk different paths and have fought on many occasions.  

Liam: what about the crewmember whom is termed to not exist whom goes by the name of ... *checks notebook* Slip?  

Sa'vor: *small smile* that's between me and her. *looks at watch* sorry, I must leave. its time I should be off

 

Volrath: My flumph wizard imprisons your red wyrm.

 

A small squid like creature waves its tentacles about and the dragon in front of it disappears.

 

 

A spectral squid thing carrying a scythe touches a human, holding a bow. The human goes limp.

 

Crow: We do not need more artificers.

Crow: That had to be one of the first rules.  But you'd think with his view of their universe that he'd make one of those anime girl-bot maids.  There's even a homunculus for that.

Nalfein chugs the green liquid and his eyes become a blur yet again. In a matter of seconds (with some nice hand-eye coordination on Volrath's part), he finishes the book.

Volrath: So... what'd you think of it?

Volrath:  :confused: Hang on... you should be totally insane now. More so than before... And you should have ability damage... Do you feel any different?

Cuddles: Mmmmmmm... fresh spleen. Still twitching.

 

Michael: Well, it's sort of a long story, so I'll sum it up a bit. Throwing myself in front of Lisa turned me to the side of good, so I thought I'd go off and get the hang of it. I went to Aundair and tried helping some peasants.

(now, on to the peasants house. A woman is bedridden, the husband hovers over her. The house is full of lupins. The bed is covered in them, the peasants are dressed in them, and the soup is made from them)

Dennis: What? *pause* Huh... this redistribution of wealth is harder than I thought...

Jarlot: What do you mean? You just got hit by a whiny, pompous... oh.

Michael: Uh... I got better?

NJ-26 - I just realized the I'm sane one here.

 

Terra - what's Kithle up to now?

Death Paper - Um actually this is about your chocobos.

Terra - Listen, that wasn't their fault; they're trained to attack stran-

Terra - Oh, well I have a few miniature versions to work with, but it will take me a while to breed up good skyriding stock. I assume you will want fire immunity as well so ou don't have to shell out on extra like with the ocelots.

Sa'vor - what's with you?

Tara - Oh gods no I don't think we'll survive another visit from Forbes; the Gods are still in therapy over the last time he walked in.

Satnak - Thats the best part, he's busy.

Satnak - (sitting on top of Sa'vor's little army) Awwww I was just getting comfy.

Satnak: Where the :censored: is that god?  I'm not going to wait around—gah!

Word Being: The creation of a significant being requires four things: material from another previous being, the touch of the divine, a piece from one that will love, and a piece from one that will hate.  To put it more simply, you opposed 13, so the balance says that you are the most like a mortal enemy.  Normally I wouldn't worry about it, since any new being would be born a blank slate and develop these characteristics as they grow.  But in this case you oppose its creation, so unless you give it your blessing it will become with one quarter of its being missing.  It will endlessly seek to fill that part of itself…… it will become one of those "I seek my worthy foe"-types and tear apart Eberron until it has found it.

Liam: Umm… Hello nice to meet you. I am Liam but I think I am supposed to interview Volrath now…

Chibi-Balor: Yes, Volrath is indisposed for the moment, so I was sent here instead.  

Chibi-Balor: Yes, I do believe that he and My Mistress's daughter; P/Y/R are ‘talking’ about how to go about adding the Half-Fey Template to Aberrations… I think that the nice way I can put it.  

Chibi-Balor: Yes. * Poof, Chibi-Balor form reverts to her ‘normal’ form * Damn. Well at lest I can return to my mistress with out have to worry about being ambushed by Caralot.  

Liam Sits and stares blankly at the Naked Red skinned female half elf with an aberrant mark on her right arm.  

Chibi-Balor: Sorry about that, the Spell to turn me in to a Balor or last so long, But the longer I stay in it the more Balor like my normal body become. I am Tessa, My mother was from the house of storms and my Father was from the house of detection. I am also known as Chibi-Balor for obvious reason; I am High Priestess of Beryl, Demon Princess of the Forgotten Freedom, Dunks, Alcohol and Red shirts.  

Chibi-Balor: No, I was though he was a Devil lord because he was lawful. No, Beryl used to be known as Tifa… I do not suppose I could interests you in converting by the way.  

Liam: No thank you, I’m happy with my current provider.  

Chibi-Balor: Okay, I just have to ask.  

Chibi-Balor: It is great, I used to be a redshirt and now I’m a Demon in training. I don’t have to worry about most of the crew… and we don’t have to pay are bar tab because Beryl supplies most of the Liquor to the Bar.

Liam: Well That very nice, but I’m afaid I have to move on to the next person now.  

Chibi-Balor: okay, oh Beryl says if you want to talk to her you’ll have to come to her.