Editing The Man In-Between

<span style="color:#800000"> ''Many thanks go out to Andy for working on this one with me.  Thanks, Andy!''</span>




'''Saturday, 24 May 2521''' <br>
'''Peña Spaceport, Kerry''' <br>
'''Georgia (Huang Long) system''' <br>
'''2335 hrs, local time''' <br>

Rina hadn’t eaten dinner and this time, Joshua was truly concerned.  Normally, it wasn’t a big deal when Rina missed a meal.  She was prone to it.  And they were landside, when any one particular meal might only have a couple of crew members at the table.  But even then, people dropped by, grabbed food when they could.  But midnight was fast approaching.  Joshua had been siting in the lounge since dinnertime, sketching a picture of Schrody from memory.  And no sign of Rina.  The news about Mike had to have twisted her into knots.  He didn’t think she’d want to talk about it, but at least he could bring her something to eat.

He took a few minutes in the galley to fix a steak and cheese sandwich for her.  Unfortunately, not the real thing, but they hadn’t had time to go out into the city food shopping. If they were staying a couple of days, he definitely planned to get some fresh food to  make something special for the crew.  After what they had seen in Shepherd’s Hope, everyone deserved something special.

Joshua first went to the engine room but it was empty.  He was getting ready to leave to check her quarters when he noticed some of Rina’s tools missing from their usual spots.  She must have them with her, he decided.  Where would she be if not in the engine room?

Suddenly he remembered he saying something about exterior repairs earlier.  ''Ah yes, the hull.''  She had been so upset when the ship had been damaged less than a day after leaving Lucifer’s Landing.  With other repairs to be done, she hadn’t had a chance to seriously work on restoring the hull to it’s normal state, but he’d bet 50 credits (that he didn’t have) she’d be there now.

He  made his way outside, sandwich and plate in one hand and Rina was indeed on the hull.  But she wasn’t making repairs.  She was sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees, which were up to her chest and her head down.  ''Uh oh.  That didn’t look good.''

“Rina?”  Joshua called out to her, concern in his voice.  “I brought you something to eat.  I can bring it up, or I can just leave it if you’d rather be alone.”


'''***'''

I heard Joshua say my name and raising my head the evening breeze was cold on my face.  ''Wet'', I thought.  ''Wipe off''.  My coveralled knees served well enough for the purpose and I cleared my throat.  ''Tight.  Huh.  When did that happen?''

“Please. ''Pazhalusta'',” I said when I could trust my voice. “Stay?  I’d like the company.

''God knows, having someone with me would keep me from marinating''.  And that was a departure from my standard procedure, had been for some time.  The realization did not bring me peace but instead only underscored my trouble.  It was one thing to consider something as an academic exercise but quite another to ''feel'' it.  I shook off my thoughts and added aloud, “Don’t tell me.  I missed dinner again.”

'''***'''

“You’re allowed.”  Joshua smiled softly as he climbed up to the surface of the hull.  Once he reached the top, he leaned down, putting the plate in front of Rina.  He then sat down cross legged across from her.  “No big deal, but you should probably eat if you’re going to be up.”  

He didn’t want to broach the topic of Mike.  If she wanted to talk, he’d be glad to listen but he wasn’t sure what his emotions would allow him to say if asked for advice.  so he let her get started eating as he pulled a diversionary topic from his back pocket.  “What do you think?” he asked, holding up his sketch of Schrodinger playing with a wire ball on the floor of the engine room.

'''***'''

The sandwich had cooled some between galley and hull but I barely tasted it. Food was fuel and since my nose had told me it wasn't meat waiting for my tongue, I'd plowed through half the sandwich before my conscience stabbed at the trouble I'd put Joshua through. ''He's gone to the effort to make it and shlep it all the way up here. The least you can do is pay attention.'' I slowed down and when he pulled the drawing from his pocket I sucked the juice off my fingers and wiped off before taking it. Ersatz meat or not, there really wasn't a cheese steak made that wasn't messy and I didn't want to add insult to carelessness by ruining Joshua's work.

There was enough light from the neighborhood to examine the drawing and holding it up I saw it was Schrody. Joshua had captured her expression perfectly as she batted the ball around, her lithe body suspended above the deck like the aerial acrobat she was.

"This is beautiful," I said, meaning it. "You've captured her perfectly." I carefully gave him the drawing and picked up my sandwich. "I miss her, too. Too damned many people we love gone, Joshua. Rick. Schrody. Christian. Lem. When's it going to stop?"

''You're whining. Shut up.''

I stuffed my mouth with the sandwich to keep from saying anything I'd regret later. After a minute, I swallowed and said, "This is pretty good. It's not tempeh. What is it?"

''That's it. Food's a safe topic. Talk about that''.

'''***'''

He nodded a little. "It's mushroom, sliced thin and cooked with a spice mixture to give it a flavor resembling meat. I've been trying to grow some in Botany Bay.”

Didn't seem like she wanted to talk about what was bothering her, but that was okay. Sometimes friends were there just to sit and be company. As Rina was eating, Joshua noticed that beside her, written on the hull in grease pencil was some sort of timeline of events. From what he could see from a glance out of the corner of his eye, the timeline looked to be related to Mike's arrest. Interesting, he thought. At least he was right, it was Mike that had her stressed and concerned out here in the dark on the hull.

'''***'''

"Mushroom?" I said around another mouthful. "I love mushroom." I did, really and now I had another reason to regret my haste earlier. I swallowed and took a careful bite, hoping to make it last. There wasn't much left. "My mother used to--." I switched mid-sentence to something less sensitive. "I'd have them on breakfast cereal if I could get 'em. Are you having trouble establishing them in the bay? I might be able to rig something up for you if you are."

'''***'''

"No," he replied, shaking his head, "but thank you. No real problems growing them. Mostly trying to keep them contained to a small portion of the Bay is the bigger problem."

'''***'''

"Containment will not be a problem. Not as long as I'm able to eat them. I'm more than halfway tempted to see which will win--your skills or my appetite." I nibbled on the last corner of my sandwich, reluctant to make it disappear. “This is really good. ''Spasiba.'' I'd been missing something like this. Call it comfort food if you like. Thanks.”

'''***'''

He sat there, watching her carefully eat her sandwich and then decided to backtrack to her earlier statement. "You know they aren't gone, right?" He lowered his head a little so he could look into her eyes as she looked down at the sandwich in her hands. "They didn't leave us. We left '''them''' and only for a while. All of them are just waiting for us to get back. Christian and Lem will be waiting on Angel. Rick and Schrody will be waiting where people and animals that are pure awesome go."

He paused for a moment, now deep in thought. "We never really lose people forever, I think. Just separate from them for a while." He didn't know if he believed in a Christian heaven. But he believed in what he had just said.

'''***'''

''We'd left them'', Joshua said. ''And I'd left Mike''. But the circumstances were ''not'' the same. I refrained from saying it and instead I finished my sandwich and addressed the implicit topic in the latter half of his statement. "I don't know if I believe in Heaven, much less God, but I do believe in the laws concerning the conservation of energy."

I lay back on the night-cooled hull and looked up at the sky, picking out the few stars that made it past the glare of the docks.

"I'm sure there are schools of thought that will tell you that reality is nothing but an illusion dreamt by a sleeping giant. Or that it's turtles all the way down. Whatever. But you can't escape the fact that you and I," I paused and patted the hull, then pointed a finger aloft. "This ship. That sky. This world. Its sun. We're all made the same. Energy. Impossibly small in our individual atoms and those made by parts smaller still. No matter how hard we look or how finely we slice them, we will never find that last particle Joshua. ''Never''. Neither will we find its ultimate source. And in the space between, maybe that is where Heaven lies. And God. Inside all of us. And everywhere. Because that enegy cannot be destroyed. It can only change its form. And when we can’t see it we get all mystical about it... because it's the only way we can deal with the change."

'''***'''

They had suddenly gotten very deep and philosophical. For his part, he hadn't meant to. Maybe it was something about the night air, about sitting quietly in the dark, wondering what was out there.

Joshua moved over so he could lay there beside her and put his hand over hers. "You going to be okay?

'''***'''

I gripped his hand and spoke to the sky and wondered if God was listening.

"I don't know."
@@ Line 34: / Line 34: @@
 “You’re allowed.”  Joshua smiled softly as he climbed up to the surface of the hull.  Once he reached the top, he leaned down, putting the plate in front of Rina.  He then sat down cross legged across from her.  “No big deal, but you should probably eat if you’re going to be up.”
-He didn’t want to broach the topic of Mike.  If she wanted to talk, he’d be glad to listen but he wasn’t sure what his emotions would allow him to stay if asked for advice.  So he let her get started eating as he pulled a diversionary topic from his back pocket.  “What do you think?” he asked, holding up his sketch of Schrodinger playing with a wire ball on the floor of the engine room.
+He didn’t want to broach the topic of Mike.  If she wanted to talk, he’d be glad to listen but he wasn’t sure what his emotions would allow him to say if asked for advice.  so he let her get started eating as he pulled a diversionary topic from his back pocket.  “What do you think?” he asked, holding up his sketch of Schrodinger playing with a wire ball on the floor of the engine room.
 '''***'''
@@ Line 58: / Line 58: @@
 '''***'''
-"Mushroom?" I said around another mouthful. "I ''love'' mushroom." I did, really and now I had another reason to regret my haste earlier. I swallowed and took a careful bite, hoping to make it last. There wasn't much left. "My mother used to--." I switched mid-sentence to something less sensitive. "I'd have them on breakfast cereal if I could get 'em. Are you having trouble establishing them in the bay? I might be able to rig something up for you if you are."
+"Mushroom?" I said around another mouthful. "I love mushroom." I did, really and now I had another reason to regret my haste earlier. I swallowed and took a careful bite, hoping to make it last. There wasn't much left. "My mother used to--." I switched mid-sentence to something less sensitive. "I'd have them on breakfast cereal if I could get 'em. Are you having trouble establishing them in the bay? I might be able to rig something up for you if you are."
 '''***'''
@@ Line 93: / Line 93: @@
 "I don't know."
-'''Go back to: ''[[Mutineers Timeline Season Four | Timeline Season Four, April 2521 to Dec 2521]]'''''<br>
-'''Go to ''[[Peripatetica - Rina's Journal entry and RP log]]'''''<br>
-'''Go to ''[[Rina's Russian Glossary]]'''''<br>
-'''Go to''' [[Marina Kseniya Sebastien | '''Rina's Crew Page''']] <br>
-'''Go to [[EPISODES]]''' or '''[[MTimeline#2511-2518|TIMELINE]]'''<br>