|
|
Line 1: |
Line 1: |
− | 1. Lycanthropy is not an excuse to hump a woman's leg.
| |
− | 2. ....not that you ever needed an excuse.
| |
− | 3. It is wrong to infect a woman with a werecat's bite to make catgirls.
| |
− | 4. ....again.
| |
− | 5. I am not allowed to take the shifter's for a walk.
| |
− | 6. Even if the shifter girl is used to it.
| |
− | 7. I am not allowed to abuse to keep the changeling girl for myself and have all the changeling males handle the other male crew's sexual needs...
| |
− | 8. Even if they can't tell the difference.
| |
− | 9. "Either your memory is faulty or the night wasn't very magical for one of us" is not a way of greeting a woman you've wronged.
| |
− | 10. I am not the Anti-Christ. No matter how badly I behave. Must not tell the crew I am.
| |
− | 11. No longer allowed to drop pants for anything other than crapping.
| |
− | 12.No longer allowed to drop pants. Period.
| |
− | 13. I am to kill the Dragon, not challenge him to a game of riddles....
| |
− | 14. A game of riddles does not consist of a game of Pokemon.
| |
− | 15. Accurate Attack (Ranged) does not make me James Bond.
| |
− | 16. Nor does it make me Austin Powers.
| |
− | 17. Neither would give me the excuse to make witty remarks as people die or go "YEAH BABY" all the time.
| |
− | 18. Queen Aurala's daughters are not carrying my children.
| |
− | 19. At least they BETTER NOT BE.
| |
− | 20. It is wrong to tell the Female Necromancer that her dress code is "clothing optional"
| |
− | 21. It is wrong to tell the Female Druid that all rituals must be held publically and skyclad.
| |
− | 22. It is wrong to participate in the "Great Rite" with the female druid and sneak away before the sacrifice.
| |
− | 23. The Artificer is not Q.
| |
− | 24. Even if he did make me a lightning cart that can shoot rockets out of the back.
| |
− | 25. ...and a laser watch.
| |
− | 26. I will not splash water on Queen Aurala in an attempt to get her to melt.
| |
− | 27.....nor will I throw acid for this same purpose.
| |
− | 28. I will not attempt to call a sandworm in the Demon Wastes.
| |
− | 29. I will not shout "wyrm sign" whenever a dragon appears.
| |
− | 30. I will NOT attempt to ride it.
| |
− | 31. I am not "God Emperor" of anything and it is wrong to tell the crew this/
| |
− | 32. My name is not the somantic component for "Power Word Kill"
| |
− | 33. My name is not the somantic component for "Power Word Orgasm"
| |
− | 34. There is no such THING as Power Word Orgasm.
| |
− | 35. I cannot CREATE that spell.
| |
− | 36. Arrawai is not my copilot.
| |
− | 37. Neither is the Devourer.
| |
− | 38. Wolverine is not a 20th level Shifter.
| |
− | 39. It is wrong to encourage the shifter to try to become him.
| |
− | 40. Even if you offer to have the artificer bind the adamantine and the ring of regeneration.
| |
− | 41. Chain mail Bikinis are not the female crew's uniform.
| |
− | 42. Haste spells do not allow me to Matrix style dodge.
| |
− | 43. Bards are not the class for people who just want to ****
| |
− | 44. I'm a lover not a fighter is not an excuse to stay out of melee.
| |
− | 45. Scry spells are not to observe the Dallas Cowgirl cheerleaders.
| |
− | 46. Or any other locker room of cheerleaders.
| |
− | 47. Charm Person and Suggestion are not dating aids.
| |
− | 48. Polymorph Other is not used to make dates more attractive.
| |
− | 49. It is wrong to 'accidentally' shoot the Paladin at every opportunity.
| |
− | 50. My alignment is not "Sexy Good"
| |
− | 51. I am not the Diet Coke of Evil.
| |
− | 52. Beltaine is not when Tira Mirron comes back to life as a bunny shifter to pass out eggs.
| |
− | 53. I am not allowed to open a club for Longstrider shifters to serve gentlemen.
| |
− | 54. Knock Spells do not....well they actually DO only exist to help in stealing.
| |
− | 55. My middle name is not Link.
| |
− | 56. The former Captain's name is not Ganon.
| |
− | 57. I have not come to to town, to save the Princess Zelda. Whom ganon has taken away so now the children don't play but will...when link saves the day.
| |
− | 58. I will not sell quartz as "Rupies"
| |
− | 59. A Princess is not obligated to "put out" when you save her life.
| |
− | 60. ....and don't ask me why you would save her then.
| |
− | 61. Bull's Stamina is not used for sex.
| |
− | 62. A Holy Avenger will not be referred to as "The Master Sword"
| |
− | 63. It is wrong to tell the Paladin he has to find three magic pendants first.
| |
− | 64. Karrnath is a vaguely Transylvania like land. It is not Canada.
| |
− | 65. It is wrong to replace it's flag with the maple leaf.
| |
− | 66. It is wrong to introduce Hockey to become the national sport.
| |
− | 67. It is wrong to import a large number of Aundairians whom hate it there in the middle of the country.
| |
− | 68. It is wrong...okay FINE, its Canada now. Are you happy?
| |
− | 69. You did all of this to recruit the shifter from Karrnath to be wolverine didn't you?
| |
− | 70. It is wrong telling people that you are having sex with Spiderman's girlfriend.
| |
− | 71. ...even if its true.
| |
− | 72. You are not Spiderman.
| |
− | 73. Even if you have Spider Climb and Web in your spell book....
| |
− | 74. And Jump and Lion's Strength
| |
− | 75. And sell pictures of yourself in a bright costume to the Sharn Inquisitor.
| |
− | 76. It is wrong to tell Dwarves racial slurs.
| |
− | 77. ....even about elves.
| |
− | 78. Even if they started it.
| |
− | 79. Half-Elves do not get all the sexiness of elves and all the large 'good parts' of humans.
| |
− | 80. It is wrong to tell women this just to get them to bed you.
| |
− | 81. It is wrong to have a Lich kidnap Boranal's daughter just because she's named Zelda.
| |
− | 82. ....you slept with her anyway! She's the biggest **** in the kingdom!
| |
− | 83. Smoking "smokeweed" does NOT make me see into the Astral Plane, and it is wrong to tell the crew it does.
| |
− | 84. There is no secret Aurrum Handshake.
| |
− | 85. If there was, it wouldn't be the Pimp Slap.
| |
− | 86. I am not a Drow.
| |
− | 87. It is wrong to use "Change Self" to be a Drow.
| |
− | 88. It is wrong to be a Drow solely to say "Oh, it's because I'm A BLACK man isn't it?"
| |
− | 89. You already use that for being a half-elf.
| |
− | 90. The Skill "Performance" does not include "Performance (sex)
| |
− | 91. Nor can you max it out at every level.
| |
− | 92. You cannot take the Craft Skill "Craft (Ultimate Whoopass Stick)"
| |
− | 93. I will not rub the shifter's belly to see if her leg will twitch.
| |
− | 94. Valenar is not to be referred to as "Rohan"
| |
− | 95. Nor is Aerenal to be called Mordor.
| |
− | 96. I will not direct the crew to Sarlona to pick up hot Asian girls.
| |
− | 97. I did not learn the Jedi arts from a deformed green gnome named Yoda.
| |
− | 98. Nor did I learn them from Obi Wan.
| |
− | 99. The Jedi Mind trick is not to be used for Sex....and I don't know where you learned that.
| |
− | 100. The mythical land of Amazons is not one that I'm going to visit.
| |
− | 101. Summon Succubus is not your favorite spell.
| |
| | | |
− |
| |
− | == See plot 104 for missing rules ==
| |
− |
| |
− | More Rules the Captain isn't Allowed to Break
| |
− |
| |
− | 106. Change Self to Orlando Bloom is not permitted.
| |
− | 107. I am not Will Turner's younger, hipper, cooler twin brother.
| |
− | 108. Just because I resemble Leogolas doesn't mean I get to do the arrow tricks from Lord of the Rings.
| |
− | 109. Dwarf Tossing is not the national sport of Mror Holds.
| |
− | 110. Or Valenar.
| |
− | 111. The Talenta Planes did not used to be a theme park before they started tampering with the laws of God.
| |
− | 112. It is wrong to get Talenta Planes halflings to go "YABBA DABBA DOO!"
| |
− | 113. Fred Flinston is NOT a Talenta Planes' halfling.
| |
− | 114. Gnomes are not to be referred to as "like Dwarves except they suck."
| |
− | 115. I am forbidden from wearing T-shirts that say "Elminster could kick this settings ass by himself."
| |
− | 116. Or "Mordenkaine"
| |
− | 117. Or "Strahd."
| |
− | 118. The Lady of Pain is permissable.
| |
− | 119. I do not have the Crotch of Vecna attached to me.
| |
− | 120. Besides, would you really WANT it?
| |
− | 121. Nor do I have the WANG of Vecna.
| |
− | 122. My wang is not +5
| |
− | 123. nor does it have the power of Striking.
| |
− | 124. or Dancing.
| |
− | 125. My wang is not magical.
| |
− | 126. It is wrong to tell the crew that it is.
| |
− | 127. You as a bard are forbidden from using "influence reactions" to get women.
| |
− | 128. You cannot reply "WHAT GOOD IS IT THEN!?"
| |
− | 129. Bard is not Celtic for Ninja.
| |
− | 130. I do not have Ninja powers.
| |
− | 131. [[Forgotten_Freedom:Lisa|Lisa]] is in a committed and monogamous relationship, it is wrong to place bets on when she'll end up drunk in bed with Michael.
| |
− | 132. Especially since it gives Michael hope.
| |
− | 133. It is wrong to use Ventriloquism to pretend to be [[Forgotten_Freedom:Kanatash|Kanatash]]'s demonic masters.
| |
− | 134. ...ESPECIALLY if you use it to make him do ridiculous things.
| |
− | 135. I am not Exalted, it is wrong to tell people that I am.
| |
− | 136. Vow of Poverty does not make exception for "booty" in various exceptions of the word.
| |
− | 137. I am not a Cleric of BlowShavitup
| |
− | 138. I am not allowed to proclaim myself a deity.
| |
− | 139. If I did, I couldn't grant spells.
| |
− | 140. The Rod of Seven Parts does not have my wang as part of it.
| |
− | 141. Fireball is not a response to tax collectors.
| |
− | 142. A Helm of Opposite Alignment should not be kept to shove on good people that annoy you so that you can kill them without guilt.
| |
− | 143. In a duel of swords or pistols, you do not get to answer "I'll take the pistols. You take the swords."
| |
− | 144. I do not have the Prestige class of "World's Greatest Lover"
| |
− | 145. Rubbing the Shifter against the floor is not a material component for Shocking Grasp
| |
− | 146. The fact I'm not your real Uncle doesn't permit you to date Jaela.
| |
− | 147. Even if she is legal now.
| |
− | 148. Canons are not party favors.
| |
− | 149. "I'm going to smoke me some b****" is not a proper response to any question about your profession.
| |
− | 150. Being a member of the King's Citadel doesn't allow me to ask women to lower their tops for inspection.
| |
− | 151. YOU'RE NOT A MEMBER OF THE KING'S CITADEL!
| |
− | 152. it is wrong to insert a philater of love into Michael's drink so he's open to the possibilities of Doog.
| |
− | 153. Stop asking Andrea about sex magic!
| |
− | 154. [[Forgotten_Freedom:Terra|Terra]] is not interested in telling you about Druidic Fertility rights.
| |
− | 155. ....its for your own safety you obey 154.
| |
− | 156. I do not possess "crossbow time"
| |
− | 157. A black coat, shades, and black pants are not the standard D&D fighter wear.
| |
− | 158. It is wrong to sing "Kung Fu Fighting" whenever Bruce Ki enters the room.
| |
− | 159. Payday is never listed as "Tomorrow" as an excuse for the day never to arrive.
| |
− | 160. Elves are not to be described as "oversexed vegetarian *ussies"
| |
− | 161. Even if it's true.
| |
− | 162. You do not have the right to declare the first mate's quarters the place for your harem.
| |
− | 163. you do not have "nos prima nocte" with female crew.
| |
− | 164. The guilotine is not the preferred punishment for disobediance.
| |
− | 165. It is wrong to hire a changeling dominator for administering the lash.
| |
− | 166. The Aurrum are not lead by Sebastian Shaw and Emma Frost.
| |
− | 167. The Forgotten freedom's crew are not the X-men.
| |
− | 168. The Changeling girl is not to be referred to as Mystique.
| |
− | 169. Stupid is not Magneto.
| |
− | 170. Even if you Magnetize him.
| |
− | 171. "I was drunk" is not an excuse for anything.
| |
− | 172. [[Forgotten_Freedom:Ketler|Ketler]] is not so geeky as to never be able to know what a girl naked looks like...
| |
− | 173. There's the internet for that.
| |
− | 174. It is wrong to use crew to practice your archery.
| |
− | 175. Even if you pretend you intend to hit the apple on their heads.
| |
− | 176. I am not Robin Hood.
| |
− | 177. He allegedly gives to the poor.
| |
− | 178. Yes, I don't get that either.
| |
− | 179. Frankly, the whole tights thing scares me too.
| |
− | 180. Friar Tuck is not a role model for a well managed clergyman.
| |
− | 181. The Silver Flame is not powered by propane.
| |
− | 182. It is wrong to test this.
| |
− | 183. Kennedy is not buried under the Silver Flame
| |
− | 184. It is wrong to tell [[Forgotten_Freedom:Lisa|Lisa]] that it is.
| |
− | 185. It is wrong to add books to the Silver Flame canon when Jaela is not looking.
| |
− | 186. It is wrong to infect the crew with Lycanthropy just to make a dogsledding team.
| |
− | 187. Chun li is not a crew member.
| |
− | 188. Even if you dress up Marish.
| |
− | 189. The Lhazaar Principalities are not going to be invaded by Breland for oil.
| |
− | 190. I will not ask King Kaius if he's Tzimisce or Ventrue.
| |
− | 191. I will not plead mind control whenever I do something despicable.
| |
− | 192. I will not use Spectral hand THAT way.
| |
− | 193. Magic is not to be abused for sexual purposes in ANY way.
| |
− | 195. The Book of Erotic Fantasy is NOT official D&D supplemental material.
| |
− | 196. NOR are my stats in there.
| |
− | 197. Nor will they be in there for the 3.5 edition!
| |
− | 198. Paladins do not only have "vanilla" sex.
| |
− | 199. It is wrong to tell the crew this.
| |
− | 200. Bard is not Aundair for BADASS.
| |
− | 201. Aundair do not have a word for that.
| |
− | 202. I will not attempt to pass off Marish as a fair maiden to trade for the Dragon's treasure.
| |
− | 203. Trust me, she's not been a maiden for a good long time.
| |
− | 204. There is no such thing as a Were-Half elf nor am I one.
| |
− | 205. Eberron does not need to trade the Daughters of Sora Kell for the Seven Sisters.
| |
− | 206. There is not a feat called "Always win"
| |
− |
| |
− |
| |
− | ----
| |
− | [[Forgotten_Freedom:Rules|Rules Home]]
| |