Forgotten Freedom:19

Last Plot -- Plot Line Home -- Next Plot

---

(The Tombs of Qulithkask, entrance)

Sa'vor: This is it! we've found them at last!

Slip: Your voice is echoing again.

Sav'or: Is it?

Jarlot: Yes it is, and its slightly annoying.

Sa'vor: I can't help it, it's the proximity to powerful magic.

Kithle: You're near me all the time and I ate Scholar.

Sa'vor: Thats because youre always keeping an eye on me and anyway, this magic is Hyper Epic Magic, it's pretty nasty stuff if it leaks.

Kantash: I know, it's like Xoriat all over again.

Dooj: Are we going to go in our are we going to sit here all day and talk.

V: (still on dreamlily) Wow, it's all sparkly.

Sa'vor: Indeed, Dooj is right, let's get moving.

Jarlot: *AHEM*

Sa'vor: Sorry, captain.

Jarlot: Okay, let's get moving.

(The huge doors open and they step inside, before them is a chamber plated in gold)

ALL: WOW

Sa'vor: Intresting (examins the walls of the chamber to find theres handprints there) this appears to give you acess to all the knowledge placed here. (puts hands on handprints)

Kithle: You okay?

Sa'vor: (removes hands) Good khyber that was wierd.

Kithle: What just happened? And do I want in on it?

Satnak: Oh Mol, whenever those two get like that it means more work for me.

Chalky: (is too busy pulling off gold plate to care)

---

Sa'vor: (before him he sees a huge magical battle raging between the dragons and the demons, thousands of spells shatter the ground before him, weird magical effects and CGI are all about) The Shadow, this is awsome! (He raises his hand and all of the battle stops, the image fades and he appears in a dark void, around him float the ghosts of those who placed their knowledge here)

Sa'vor: Oh Khyber, its the greatest necromancer of all time! Naur!

Naur: Yes, young one, it is I, the master of necromancy. You have come here to glean knowledge from us?

Sa'vor: (bows) Yes, I have, I have also brought the prophecised ones and their compatriots.

Naur: You have honoured your bloodline, before you gain our knowledge you must pass a test (a door of black wood appears) step through the door, Sa'vor.

(Sa'vor steps through the door and appears in a arena surrounded by thousands of skeletal mages whom all cheer as he enters screaming "Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood! ", before him lies a huge portcullis that raises slowly to reveal the draconic form of Xull)

Xull: (roars) Time to die, half-breed!

(He slams his huge claws into the ground Sa'vor had been standing on, Sa'vor is now hovering above the ground letting off wave after wave of Arcane blasts, followed by a barrage of Psionic bursts)

Xull: (Raises a magical shield and lashes out with a burst of fire) You can't win! I am all powerful! I made you!

(Sa'vor, hit by the flame, is knocked onto his back where he lies prone, Xull moves in and raises his large foot to crush him. Sa'vor leaps to his feet and brings his Scythe to bear, the weapon removes Xull's head)

Sa'vor: Bah, all powerful my ***

---

Kithle: He has 1 minute to snap out of this and explain before I do this the easy way.

Norbaz: Wait a second? You ate Scholar? I thought that warforged couldn't get the brain drain? Regardless I don't think it should just come to tha- hey he's coming to.

Kithle: I explained this already, he was a bear at the time. Now sleeping beauty there has to a five count until I make him a moot point.

5...

4...

---

Back at the ship

Elemental: I feel really dumb. Turns out the whole time my name was Earl.

John: Probably a result of being a race with a massive int penalty.

Earl: Ahem. *bolt of ice*

John: Duuude t-that's cold. When did you become a kineticist? And why Ice?

Earl: Well this whole being an airship thing leaves a lot of time for thought once you get the hang of it.

John: But ice?

Earl: Eh... enough artificers screw up the binding ritual and you learn what chemicals cause what to do what.

---

Kithle: That's it. His brain is mine. I always wanted to know what dragon brains tasted like.

Kanatash: (from a corner of the room where he is eating popcorn) Hold on there my compatriot. I want to see how this turns out. The fight was better than a staring contest between two beholders.

Kithle: What the **** are you talking about? What fight?

Kanatash: Oh, sorry. The one taking place inside Sa'vor's mind right now. The spirits of this place are testing him and it was quite an impressive fight.

Doog: Why were you watching his mind in the first place?

Kanatash: Oh, I'm always watching. I watch everyone, all the time. I monitor you all mentally and visually.

Doog: That's kind of creepy...

Kanatash: It's what I do.

Lisa: I think he's bluffing. He can't be watching the entire crew every minute of every day.

Kanatash: Oh? Then how would I know about that birthmark you have on your back.

Lisa: The only way you could see that would be if I was... WHY YOU LITTLE. (readies hammer for smiting)

Kanatash: How many times do I have to remind you? Incorporeal miss chance. Besides I'm sure there will be plenty of things in this tomb that need smiting and if you really feel the need you can find me any time.

Lisa stalks off mumbling something about insane Kalashtar.

Kanatash: (calling after her) And don't think about trying to get Kelter to make your hammer ghost touch. I already have an "arrangement" with him.

Michael: Um, Kanatash? Any chance I can get my hands on some pictures of that "birthmark"?

Kanatash: Probably, but I expect something in return.

Michael: Um, I really don't feel like selling my soul here.

Kanatash: Oh, please. What would I want with a pathetic mortal soul. I was thinking of having you acquire some test subjects for my experiments. The captain seems to have a bit of a problem with me corrupting too many redshirts, so I am trying to look into some alternate sources.

Michael: Is that all? I think I can manage that without too much difficulty.

Kanatash: Excelent. Now I should go back to watching Sa'vor. I don't want to miss what happens next.

Kithle: Ooh this is interesting, I should have realized his psychic defenses were down earlier, what did I miss. Hey I can rifle through his memory. So that's how that spell works, oooh that's how he shields his mind. That won't work anymore. Score the blackmail material, oh yes, this almost makes up for not getting to eat him.

Norbaz: Well when is he going to wake us up and explain the situation?

Kanatash: That's not important, this is possibly the most amazing fight I've ever seen.

Dooj: Can you get us to see this action?

Chalky: Okay, so we aren't eating Sa'vor? Where did I put that face paint?

---

Elsewhere in the tomb, Muradin and Naz'roth are walking through a hidden passage when they come across a large room.

Muradin: Big.

Naz'roth: Ya fool.

As they search the room, they come across an alcove containing a 30-foot long Khyber shard.

Naz'roth: O.O

In awe, Naz'roth starts creeping toward the shard with his hands out-streched, drooling. As Muradin stares at the shard, Volrath's voice echoes in his mind.

(Flashback)

Volrath: Now Muradin, see this? (holds up a palm sized Khyber shard)

Muradin: OOOH SHINY!!!!

Volrath: DO NOT touch this, it's very important to me, and if you touch this I will inflict indescrible pain upon you, understand?

Muradin: Poo.

Volrath: Okay, I'm going to leave the Khyber shard right here (sets it on the ground) because I can't take it where I'm going. I want you to make sure nobody touches it - that includes you. Now I'll be back in a little bit, I need to drop off some spell components for my dad.

Muradin: Oh, okay.

5 minutes after Volrath leaves, Muradin forgets the warning and reaches for the shard. When he touches it, a Hezrou demon appears and proceeds to beat the everloving **** out of him, then teleports back to its home plane.

Muradin: (coming to half an hour later) What happened?

Volrath: YOU IDIOT!!!! YOU TOUCHED THE SHARD!!! That was the very first demon I ever imprisioned! You are SO gonna get it now!

The following excruciating pain has been blocked out of Muradin's memory to preserve the rest of his sanity. (end flashback)

Naz'roth has almost reached the Khyber shard, his eyes tearing up from its sheer beauty.

Muradin: NO TOUCH!!!!!!!

Naz'roth: What you talkin' bout, Muradin?

Muradin: TOUCHING BAD! TOUCHING VERY BAD!!!!!!!!

Naz'roth: You crazy, man (continues toward the shard)

Muradin: MURADIN SMASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Muradin runs up to the shard and shatters it into a million pieces.

Naz'roth: *jawdrop

Muradin: Now Naz'roth safe!

Naz'roth: ...

Muradin: uhh, Naz'roth, you okay?

Naz'roth: ...

Muradin picks up Naz'roth's stunned form and returns him to the FF.

John: What happened to him?

Muradin: Muradin save him from big shiny shard thing.

John: You mean a Khyber shard?

Muradin: Yes, Khyber shard bring pain, so I break big one, save buddy.

John: (sighs) Well, get him to his room. He won't be moving for a long time.

Muradin: Why won't he move?

John: He's in shock.

Muradin: Why?

John: Never mind. Just make sure you leave him alone till he gets better.

Muradin: Okay.

---

Pholly is in the kitchen, scrubbing some badly crusted pots, 'well seasoned', as Norbaz puts it. Michael, Mickey, and Devon wander in.

Michael: Hey, short stuff. Pulling some KP, eh?

Pholly: Yup. The captain put me here after that last blast blew a hole in the women's shower wall. Dunno what he was so upset about. He's the one that told me to do it.

Devon: A man of vision, obviously.

Mickey: (swigging a flask of Cuervo Moderate Wounds) Anything that keeps you out of my hair.

Pholly stops scrubbing a pot, pulls a vial of stuff from his pocket, and dribbles the contents on the pot. The crusted residue begins to smoke and liquify, smelling like cinnamon-rasin bread thats been in the toaster waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long.

Devon: (gagging) By Galifar, what IS that stuff?

Pholly: (smiling with pride) Oh, this. Its my latest creation. Alchemists Acidic Cleaner, I call it. I'm taking a correspondence course to be an Alchemist's Savant. What do you think, pretty good, huh?

Mickey: Ive smelled Otyugh farts that are more pleasant!

Michael: (coughing) Wait, isn't that the pot that Norbaz uses to make his chili?

All: RUN!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

Later, in the infirmary, Mickey (siping an EverHeal) tends to Devon and Michael. Pholly is, unsurprisingly, unscathed. Captan Jarlot strides in, looking none too pleased, with Tabitha following behind carrying a pile of papers.

Tabitha: So this latest explosion is going to cost you about...

Jarlot: Not a good time, Tabitha. Now, what the Hells happened? Marish and I were... dictating... and now this? Pholly, what in the name of Eberron did you blow up this time?

Devon: It wasn't Pholly. It was the chili that Norbaz made last night. He told you to keep it cold. That stuff is almost as bad as Pholly.

Jarlot: (beginning to go pale) What do you mean 'it was the chili'? I had seven bowls of the stuff... Oh dear.

Jarlot suddenly grabs his *** with both hands and runs to the head.

Awakened Privy: SWEET BABY JEBUS!! WHAT DID YOU EAT?

---

(Sa'vor awakes to find Kithle in his mind and Michael checking his pockets)

Sa'vor: Kithle, out of my mind or I'll blow you into small illithid nibbles and eat them infront of your immortal soul, Michael, put back all my gold. oh and Chalky, I'd like my left arm back.

(Lots of clinking as people start to return Sa'vor's stuff, nobody has the guts to mention his voice has gone weirder)

Kithle: Oh, I don't think you'll be telling me what to do... remember halfway through the last war ...

Sa'vor: Yeah, I burnt down a few orphanages to decrease the amount of orphans, so what?

Kithle: No I mean in the summer...

Sa'vor: I'm not sure I remember.... OH yeah, that summer, mention it and you'll never be able to recover from the horrible horrible tortures I devise, and Chalky, you took my thumb, give it back!

Lisa: You burnt down orphanages? How cruel can you get (raises hammer)

(A spark jumps from Sa'vor's finger and makes a large crater)

Sa'vor: Ooops, sorry, my powers are hard to control, if so much as sneeze without having an hour's meditation I'll cause something that would make the Daelkyr lord Johnny Depp cringe.

Slip: So, what happened?

Sa'vor: The spark or? Oh yeah, sorry, *Ahem* Well, the spell casters of old decided they couldn't trust their people with the knowledge they had gained, so they created these vaults to store items, weapons and very big dragonshards. Also, instead of writing down their awesome magical knowledge they created an imprint of their very selves to inhabit these tombs. Over the years, more and more spellcasters stored their knowledge here until the prophecised ones would come and change the world.

Jarlot: Wow, spells, like I care.

Sa'vor: Some of these people were warriors, captain.

Kithle: Okay, so what about the prophecy?

Sa'vor: Well, the draconic prophecy is like a history of the universe, it's mutable so nothing is definite about it, say if it was prophecised so that a demon of great power was freed. well, the dragons and anyone else watching the signs could tell that it would happen and he or she would be able to stop it and change the course of history. From what I gleaned of the prophecy from the spellcasters of old, it fortells of a great war; an illithid would plot to take the world from the mortals. His name in the prophecies is Kazull or in the common tongue " he who spreads great lies", at his side shall be one name Sa'vor; the Guide.

Jarlot: You were named after the prophecy?

Sa'vor: My mother was a seer, and a complete apocalyptic nut.

Jarlot: Right, continue.

Sa'vor: The prophecy states that these two shall come into the company of brigands aboard a Winged ship that sails the clouds, the leader of this band of Outlaws shall be one named Jurkish; he who struggles with a eternal moral war. The prohecies say that this person will drink of fermented vegetable drinks and fight or used to fight for values lost, he shall believe he is a great leader or king, he shall say that the blood of emperors and one of the name "Galifar" flow through him...

Kithle: And?

Sa'vor: That's all I know, though I know where the eye is.

Kithle: The greatest minds of the universe and they know ONLY that?

Sa'vor: No, but the prophecy is hard to decipher. Each symbol can have twenty different meanings and can turn out to be in a way you did not expect, from what they can tell there should be sixty more symbols to find regarding this part of the prophecy.

Kantash: Can we all acess the magical knowledge for free?

Sa'vor: Yes and no, you have to prove yourself worthy.

Kantash: That's not too difficult ...

Sa'vor: And when you win, it stores your knowledge and personality within the vault so others can learn from you.

Jarlot: Blah blah blah, let's just get the magical artifacts.

Slip: I dont know... there could be traps.

Sa'vor: There are, many of them, you all have to pass the test or you'll awaken the guardian.

Slip: Who is?

Sa'vor: There's a passage from a book on this place that gives me a few clues; She shall be a great demoness who lures the male to her, she shall be one of four. one who stands before her shall once be bound to her. The prophecised ones shall know her by name.

Slip: Let me guess Ullzul?

Sa'vor: Yes, fully powered and bound to this tomb, that's why it keeps shifting, her magical power.

Kanatash: So, before we continue, is anyone interested in trying this "test"?

Kithle: What, have you decided not to do it?

Kanatash: Oh, I intend to take it but I plan to do it last.

Jarlot: Why would that be?

Kanatash: Well, mental contact with me tends to have a negative impact on people. I would assume that it would damage the spirits in this place as well.

Doog: Come on. How bad can it be?

Kanatash: Since you asked, let's just say that before we met Jonny was the most brilliant Illithid that had existed in his community since the Daelkyr war.

Hearing his name Jonny turns around and the rest of the crew stares at him in disbelief. After a minute or two Jonny returns to staring at the wall and drooling.

Kanatash: And now he makes Muradin look smart. He's really one of the lucky ones, too. Most of them have their minds completely burned out and spend the rest of their lives in a vegetative state. (staring at Jonny for a moment) On second though maybe "lucky" isn't the right word.

Kithle: You can say that again. Oh, and remind me never to read your mind.

Kanatash: Yes, well I'm still waiting to hear who all wants to try this test.

Norbaz: Well, I'm up for it, what do I need to do?

---

Vrin dives into the room and lands on Kanatash. He pulls out a pair of cutlasses.

Vrin: All of yer money and... woops!

He dropped his weapons and slipped. A bag of holding opened and several black orbs fell out.

Satnak: (private telepathic line to Chalky) Where did you get that shade of blue?

Chalky: (in his head) Oh huh? Satnak? Well I had the ninjas raid Lisa's make-up kit and mixed some of her eyeshadow with sovereign glue.

Satnak: (ptltc) How are you on such good terms with the ninjas? And Lisa has a make up kit?

Chalky: (ihh) Simple, I'm not a perv and I actually talk to them. I can almost always tell they are there, I have good ears. As for Lisa's make-up, you don't spend as much time around dyes and paints as I do without learning to identify things like that.

Satnak: (ptltc) So when do you think he will notice he is painted like a Hobgoblin Geisha?

Chalky: (ihh) Probably when one of the more wordly crew get a good look and start laughing or until one of us can't hold back the giggles.

Satnak: (ptltc) And the arm?

Chalky: (ihh) A distraction so he wouldn't have time to worry about any weird sensations on his face. Was kind of hoping he wouldn't notice his thumb missing, I really wanna see what kinds of purple and black I can get off this guy's scales. With the sovereign glue base, anything that would get the paint off should be mighty uncomfortable even for that putz.

Kithle: (whacks Pholly with club) Stay dead.

---

(Sa'vor shakes his head)

Sa'vor: You guys get worse and worse every day, so, Vrin, you want to be a Privateer?

Vrin: What's the pay?

Jarlot: Well... that depends on what mood I'm in and Sa'vor, why the hell are you conducting the interview?

Sa'vor: Currently I'm the second sanest crew member and also, I think we should restrict the amount of redshirts we're employing.

Jarlot: And why should I give you this job?

Sa'vor: Because it keeps me busy and Kanatash or Kithle don't really reflect the right image we're trying to create.

Jarlot: We're trying to create an image?

Sa'vor: You want meatshields right?

Jarlot: Yes...

Sa'vor: Then we need to attract them by creating the right image while in port.

Vrin: Bwhahahahahahahahah! That guy (points at Sa'vor) is trying to project the right image?

Sa'vor: What are you talking about you pathetic excuse for a brigand?

Vrin: Your face (snigger) it's just so. *chortle*

Sa'vor: (slightly miffed) Looks like I'll have to scan your mind, you may feel a slight burning sensation as I hack into it.

Vrin: ARRGGHHH IT BURNS!

Sa'vor: Its mandatory for all new crew members to be scanned by me and then proceed strait on to Kanatash for a mental examination.

Vrin: Much better (as pain recedes)

Sa'vor: CHALKY! Did you do this?

Chalky: Yes, it's pretty good isn't it?

Sa'vor: Excuse me, captain, as I clean my face with concentrated acid.

Jarlot: Go straight ahead.

(Sa'vor leaves, Crew bursts out into laughter)

---

Jacob Hunter: Captain, I think we need to address something. The lack of numerous attractive females on this ship is a major oversight and....

Captain Jarlot: Hold on... I'm doing my alignment taxes.

Jacob Hunter: Your... what?

Captain Jarlot: Alignment taxes. They happen at the end of every adventure. Effectively, I'm measuring my evil and chaotic deeds against my good and lawful ones. If I show a predilection towards evil or law then I'll lose my status as a Holy Liberator.

Jacob Hunter: Sir, with all due respect, but what GOD in his RIGHT mind would take you for an Champion of Good?

(Dol Dorn stomps out of the dining hall)

Dol Dorn: MORTAL!? Have you no Ambrosia or Nectar? I shall smite thy ruin on the mountaintop!

Jacob Hunter: ...I'm missing out on so much as an atheist.

Captain Jarlot: In any case, it only takes some creative accounting to handle this.

(Lifts up an abacus)

Jacob Hunter: If by creative accounting you mean outright theft.

Captain Jarlot: It's taxes, what else are they?

Jacob Hunter: Working for the government, I understand your meaning.

Captain Jarlot: Okay, would you argue that the crew is mostly evil?

Jacob Hunter: I wouldn't need to argue that at all.

Captain Jarlot: And that by restraining their actions I'm attempting to convert them?

Jacob Hunter: Not really.

Captain Jarlot: Close enough. *scribble scribble* Also, would you argue that the Redshirts have a low life expectancy?

V: I SAID NO MAYO!

(Pulls smokepowder gun and shoots crew man in the face)

Jacob Hunter: I don't think again, I have to argue.

Captain Jarlot: Then you'd say I've been fighting a great deal of evil onboard.

Jacob Hunter: This somehow seems to miss the spirit of playing a Holy Liberator.

Captain Jarlot: The SPIRIT of the class is that I'm getting the cool stuff without having a stick up my bum! Oh CRAZZAP!

Jacob Hunter: Problem?

Captain Jarlot: I've got no problem with the Chaotic parts, but the whole World Domination Scheme still has me in the red. I swear, you'd think ruling the world from the jeweled throne of Aquilona with a troubled brow was a BAD thing.

Jacob Hunter: I'm afraid you may have to just settle for losing those abilities...

Captain Jarlot: No, I'm afraid I'm going to have to help evil take over so I can overthrow it and thus render the takeover of the world a glorious quest.

Jacob Hunter: .....hold up there. I don't...

Captain Jarlot: The benefits for saving the galaxy outweigh the little evils of guilt by association. In fact, it's even better if I turn against friends whom have become evil to up the drama.

Jacob Hunter: You have no friends!

John the Keel: HI!

Jacob Hunter: Oh shut up. You don't count.

Captain Jarlot: I'll go contact Vol or somebody about this. I wonder if the Dreaming Dark accepts bids... sadly, they refuse to touch my brain. After it was fixed, it's become nothing but porn and 80's action movies.

Jacob Hunter: Wow... huge difference.

---

5044. Rules that I made when drunk/insane are null and void

5045. Wait a second... **** stop! I take it back!

5046. ****, not again

Doog: Hey guys, the captain just said we can ignore the entire list! PARTY TIME!

ANARCHY REIGNS

The ship is covered in paint, snow, and the dinosaur lines that haven't rotted away are out and trolling.

Dooj: We got a big one.

Klaz: That's a triceratops, mate.

Micheal: Put in on the 'pult.

V: Fire.

Chalky: Direct hit! That will teach those flaming zealots.

Pholly: I thought we were bombing house Cannith enclaves.

Norbaz: Who Knows? Who cares? I got the next round ready. Satnak says its a little mild so I figure it'll eat the whole building and go thirty feet down.

John: Sweet flipping Buddhas of death, the multi-verse is screwed.

Batman: I heard the list got voided.

Stupid: Wheeeee-heeeeee I'm drunk as a fleshie.

Erk: Erk like gnome ball.

Disaster: Hey look it's Skippy. One order of LOBster thermidor coming up.

Ketlers: Attack of the clones!!!

Squishy: Get this crazy animal away from me.

Chalky: Must eat Squishy.

---

(After setting up camp in their ship for the night, the crew reflect on their day, exploring the tomb had been fun, they'd managed to rake in tons of experience and of course lots of gold too, but something was very very wrong. With no rules the crew had gone on a rampage, and with the epicness of Kanatash, Kithle, Sa'vor and anyone else who'd passed the test, that was not a good thing .... what made it worse was the singing, something was definitly wrong)

John: (musical in the background, Michael singing about not being able to pull as many girls and Dooj's gruff tones were mentioning somthing about never kissing them on the mouth) This crew's gone to hell now that the rules are null and void.

Sa'vor: Yeah, I have to sleep with one eye open all the time now.

John: Since when did we get along?

Sa'vor: Since we became the only lawful and sanest of the crew, which reminds me, hows enligtenment coming on?

John: Pretty well, how's world domination?

Sa'vor: Slow, though, Kithle's not a bad ruler, he's only attempted to eat my brains once today.

John: And Kanatash.

Sa'vor: Somwhere in the cargo bay, I think he's creating some kind of Portal to Xoriat to contact his masters.

John: Aren't they your masters as well?

Sa'vor: No, I just did a little work for them between being tortured and having my mind twisted and warped.

John: Right.... how are we going to stop the crew running rampant?

Sa'vor: I like it like this, it means they're squabbling amongst themselves.

(Lisa begins to beat Michael with hammer)

John: Yeah, but how the hell are we going to get anything done like this? And why the hell are there musicals going on around us?

Sa'vor: Musicals? Oh no... that cant be good.

(Another starts up, Jarlot doing a Titanic theme with Marish)

John: How so? It's just music.

Sa'vor: Bards are the evilest creatures on earth, so their gods or symbol of the dark is eviler than anything else. Soon he'll manifest, and then Khyber will come to Eberron.

Jhon: That happens daily. Well, actually, it happens hourly.

Sa'vor: True, but this is far worse .... it's musical!

Kithle: Is that so. Well then we have 3 options. 1, execute the bards starting with Devon. 2, get a few music critics in here and that oughtta shut it down. 3, let Satnak zorch 'em. I favor the first step of 1 followed by 3.

Sa'vor: What did I say about mucking with my head?

Kithle: I learned to read the Keel months ago. It's amazing how you continue to fail to take my ability to gather information from those around you into account.

---

Chalky has somehow cornered Squishy and is moving in for the kill.

Chalky: I have you now.

Squishy: Ah crap - HELP!!!

Muradin hears Squishy's pleas for help, turns, and sees Chalky advancing on Squishy.

Muradin: MURADIN SMASH!!!

Chalky: What the - OH ****!

Muradin hits him with his hammer.

Chalky: OH DEAR GOD!

Hits again.

Muradin: NO TOUCH SQUISHY!

Chalky: MAKE IT STOP!

Again.

Chalky: Mommy.

Chalky now lies in a heap on the ground, several large lumps forming on his head.

Squishy: Thanks Muradin, you saved me.

Muradin: No problem, me like saving buddy.

Muradin proceeds to give Squishy a big hug.

Squishy: Can't breathe... what - did - we - say - about - giving - hugs?

Muradin: Aww, but I like-

Squishy: NO

Muradin: Poo.

Chalky, never one to forgive a slight, waits for Muradin to sleep then sovereign glues Muradin to his hammock, which is now pink for some reason. Then he hacks off the majority of the beard and tosses it overboard, the remainder is now also pink with ribbons in it.

---

The next day Kanatash comes up to Muradin.

Kanatash: Okay Muradin, I am going to look into your mind to find out about this Volrath person you have been talking about. Any questions?

Muradin: Ye-

Kanatash: Good.

Kanatash goes into Muradin's mind and starts looking. After a little bit he comes to a black colored memory.

Kanatash: Hmm, this might be what I am looking for.

He dives into the memory and sees Muradin and who he assumes to be Volrath coming toward each other.

Volrath is drenched in blood and holding a large curved blade.

Volrath: Ah man, now that my mom is insane, I don't have any place to live.

Muradin: Well, there is this place where lots of kids are allowed to live for free. That's were I live.

Volrath: Oh well, I guess I can try it.

Volrath and Muradin start walking, Kanatash following close behind. Soon, Volrath and Muradin come to a building, the sign above the door reads Saint Innocence's Orphanage.

Muradin: This is the place. Oh yeah, the kids here LOVE stories.

Volrath: Hmm ...

So they walk in followed by Kanatash.

Kanatash: This is just weird.

Kanatash comes in and sees Volrath holding a book. He asks the kids if they want to hear a story.

Kids: YAY!!

Volrath: Muradin, put these (holds up ear plugs) in your ears.

Muradin: OKAY!!! (note, when Muradin puts the ear plugs in, Kanatash can't hear either, because he is going off of what Muradin remembers.

When Volrath begins reading, one of the kids starts twitching and turns inside out. Another kid starts bleeding, Kanatash can't see what from, then blades start protruding from under his skin. The rest of the kids start to have things happen to them that are too gruesome to describe with words.

Kanatash: I HAVE GOT TO GET THAT BOOK!!!

Kanatash leaves Muradin's memories and sees him crying in the corner.

Muradin: Book bad, book bad.

Kanatash: How are you still sane?

Muradin does not respond, but continues crying.

---

As order is slowly restored, it becomes clear that someone is missing.

Jarlot: Hey, anyone seen V?

Michael: Not since we Triceratops-bombed Thrane.

Jarlot: Oh, for the love of...

Half an hour later, V is dragged back aboard kicking and screaming.

V: NOOOOO!! I WAS SO CLOSE!!!

Doog: What was he doing?

Jarlot: What else? We caught him trying to brainwash Jaela again.

V: I had her in the palm of my hand! Just a little more and she would have been mine!

Jarlot: You are getting SO many keelhaulings. John!

John: Yo!

Jarlot: V needs a hug.

V: OH, GODS NO!

---

Norbaz: Its 12 alarm, you putzes.

Satnak: I dunno, the last batch barely made it past the sub-strata.

Norbaz: That does it, I'm going all out, where's my Deepcrystal cookpot?

---

Chalky: I like this new variaant of the game.

Dooj: Yeah, its great using the Ketler clones, the redshirts are getting too good at hiding and the zombies don't scream much.

Hoybee: PULL

Michael: (fires catapult)

Hoybee: *Ray of Frost* Oops, I overdid it again, I always get those two mixed up.

Ketler 22: OH HOST NO NOT POLAR RAYYYY (freezes) neeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeee eeooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww-shatter

---

(More dancing and singing, even the keel's singing and Sa'vor stands in the center of it leaning on his scythe, he awaits the appearance of the Dancing Dark)

Hoybee: Now I have a chance to finish you.

Sa'vor: Booming and echoed voice, yep, you're possessed.

Hoybee: Obviosuly, now I believe its time for a spell duel.

Sa'vor: Okay then, but one condition.

Hoybee: And this would be?

Sa'vor: You shall make a pact with me, when I win I will spare your life but you must swear that all your kind will never attack me again.

Hoybee: You take me for some kind of fool? You couldn't possibly win.

Sa'vor: Let's begin.

Hoybee: (Unleashes a blast of arcane energy at Sa'vor, whom teleports and reappears half a mile away from the edge of the ship)

Hoybee: Running away, Sa'vor?

(Unleashes a swarm of force blasts, Sa'vor is struck by all of them at once, nothing remains)

Hoybee: Dead already?

(A swarm of bats heads towards Hoybee's floating form, from the centre of the bat swarm a wave of psionic energy followed by a few eldritch blasts emits)

Hoybee: Thought as much.

(Deflects the attacks and returns with a wave of psionic energy attempting to flood Sa'vor's mind, the barrier crumples and Hoybee enters Sa'vor's mind)

Hoybee: Fool, I am all powerful, you just can't beat my everlasting shadow.

---

(Within Sa'vor's mind, the landscape is of huge obsidian spires towering above them and mists flow over the ground of burnt and cracked bones)

Sa'vor: WELCOME TO THE LANDSCAPE OF MY MIND, THE EVER-CHURNING WAR OF MADNESS AND CHAOS, ALL HELD IN PLACE BY ME, MEET WHAT YOU AND YOUR KIND MADE OF ME.

(Sa'vor appears, his armour rippling with the combined might of the arcane, the Psionic and the Divine. In his hands is the same old Scythe forged from ruby, his cloak flows behind him in the winds)

(Hoybee strikes with huge bolts of emerald light each passing through Sa'vor and obliterating the obsidian spires, Sa'vor raises a hand and all the magic in the air vanishes and forms into one void of black, Sa'vor lashes out with an arcing bolt. Hoybee shuders, and writhes, the Dancing Dark is forced out of him and collapses to the floor)

The Dancing Shadows: You've got your pact, I'll leave.

Sa'vor: Who said anything about leaving? I've beat the second most powerful creature of dark, no one leaves now

The Dancing Shadows: What? You said you'd spare me!

Sa'vor: You forget, I'm evil, I lied.

(A bolt of anti-reality strikes The Dancing Shadows, it vanishes, the music stops)

---

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