Norrathians: Class Changes

Some of the information concerning the classes in the EQrpg PHB needs to be clarified or corrected.

Bards

Abbreviated: Brd

Note: Bards may never worship the malevolent gods. The PHB is not clear enough on this statement.

Dwarven Bard: the Plang

Dwarves may also become bards.

Dwarves have never been fond of frivolity and celebration, preferring to keep their minds to their work and their pleasures. This normally serious dwarven demeanor is only ever broken with liberal spirits, and here is where the dwarven bards began. Some say that any dwarf on his fourth mug of ale is a bard. A saying goes, “A dwarf can’t carry a tune or keep a beat, but in just one song he’ll drink his weight in mead!”

Not known for being boisterous, fun-loving drinkers, dwarves nevertheless have a long tradition of drinking songs. Sea-going dwarves, who make up some of Norrath’s most reliable mariners, also boast a large repertoire of sea shanties. The more refined bards of elvish and human cultures find dwarven songs to be rustic, uncultured, and bucolic (much like the whole of dwarven society). However, this hasn’t stopped some unconventional dwarves from establishing for themselves a bards’ guild in a large tavern in the coastal region of the Butcherblock Mountains.

A dwarven bard is called a “plang”, or as a group, “planks.” Because most dwarves have the musical capacity of a trout, they prefer to sing only when drunk, and their songs are best appreciated when likewise tipsy. Indeed, the only sober dwarven bards are the silent ones. Some of their songs tend to be belted out loudly and without any attempt at singing, but only the most delicate situation isn’t brightened up by their attempts at music. Some dwarven songs are somber, heartfelt numbers, usually about forlorn love or tragic battles.

The guildhouse of the dwarven bards is in a remote coastal tavern just north of the Butcherblock docks. They welcome anyone from any walk of life who’s willing to pay, as long as they leave their weapons at the door and don’t use too much arcane magic. Once they even had an iksar visit the tavern. When it arrived the room fell silent until one of the planks walked up to it, looked it up and down as if to size it up, climbed onto a barstool, and dumped a mug of ale on it’s head. He then flapped an arm across it’s shoulders and sang a song about the iksar’s visit to mark the occasion. After the thoroughly drunk iksar left the tavern, three dwarven paladins skinned it alive, but it died happy.

The Kaladim Church of Brell openly dislikes the bard’s guild and their coastal tavern. But, in an attempt to force the tavern out of business they effectively signed a truce when they said, “No one from the Church of Brell will ever set foot in this tavern again!” The planks and their regular patrons couldn’t be happier. It’s not that they don’t like clerics and paladins; they just don’t like killjoys. On the whole, the bards rarely involve themselves in Kaladim’s church matters, but many worship Brell or Bristlebane. Among the planks, the worship of Veeshan and the evil gods is strictly forbidden.

The planks are a working-class group of dwarves. They all have “day jobs”, though usually this involves their skill in music somehow. Many of the dwarven bards work the tavern as brewers. There are also a number of miner and mariner planks who bring their song with them to the jobsite, livening the spirits of their comrades and ensuring safety for those nearby. All dwarven bards maintain some type of profession in this manner, and few planks consider entertaining, or being an entertainer, as real, honest work.

The spirits brewed in the tavern are widely known as the best in the world. Thieves’ guilds from every part of Norrath compete for rights to smuggle the ales and wines to distant taverns, which allows the bard’s guild to remain free from theft.

The tavern employs an old, battle-scarred ogre named Gukkub as a bouncer. Out of all the applicants for the job, he was the only one who combined extreme brute force with a total inability to enjoy himself. That, and he is content to be paid in ale.