Vidkun Trost:Gathering Firewood

As the night descended the two men slowly moved about, picking up what small bits of dried wood they could find. Dressed in full armor, swords sheathed but in hand, shields strapped on their backs but ready to go in a moments notice, the pair did not seem like the usual forest folk gathering tinder.

"Vidkun." Blain said, once they were a few dozen paces from the others. "I have been meaning to ask you about Valeria. If you don't mind?"

Raising an eyebrow, Vidkun smiled. "Valeria? You may always ask anything, my friend. However, do not expect me to know anything. Especially when it involves females."

Vidkun's rolling "R" and the odd stress he gave on verbs reminded Blain that the other man, as kindred in spirit as he seemed to be, was a product of another place and another level of society. Yet Blain had known Vidkun for several days now; they had adventured together, fought together, and Blain had seen the fire in Vidkun's eyes when battle was to be joined. As different as a southern noble like Vidkun might be, they were kindred spirits in war.

Smiling, Blain answered. "I am more thinking of one female, as named, and your perceptions...and feelings about her. She seems to have caught your attention, Vidkun."

Vidkun flushed. "It is so obvious?

Rolling his eyes, Blain said "Not if one is blind to the times you look at her or keep your horse alongside hers for long stretches of time. One must also be deaf to the change on tone you use with her or the difference in your topics of conversation. You don't seem to hang on to each of my words quite so much, either. No, other than those few things it is not very obvious at all."

Vidkun nodded, and then laughed at himself. "Yes, Blain, I am a fool."

"One would not be such a fool to chase such a dream, Vidkun. Why do you hesitate?"

"That too, is obvious?"

"Perhaps. Perhaps not to all. I have followed many leaders in my life and I have led knights myself. I see in you a struggle but I do not understand it."

Vidkun nodded, and was silent for a while.

"If I intrude, Vidkun, please say so."

Shaking his head, Vidkun smiled. "No, my friend, you do not intrude. Or if you do then your intrusion is welcome." Pausing, remembering, Vidkun continued. "Back home there is a seamstress all the ladies like. Sweeyarah. Older lady..." looking at Blain with emphasis "and very talented! One of her dresses costs at least three times as much as the others might charge. Beautiful combinations of the smoothest silk and the finest of cottons. Dresses that make the wearer look older or younger, as requested. And always thinner!"

Looking at Blain, Vidkun continued. "Quit gaping, Blain, It is unbecoming! If you had as many women in your family as I then you too would know these things. And a thousand details more! Between sisters, a mother and a few more mother figures, aunts, dowagers, and as yet unwed cousins searching for the right husband, I will confess to no one how much I know about the right colors for each season and who arranges the best flowers for afternoon tea." Raising an eyebrow, he added. "And by the way, I am quite good with flowers myself."

Blain smiled. "So a man who wanted to settle down and raise a family would be well served to have you introduce them, eh?"

Laughing, Vidkun replied. "If you think war is trying on a man's soul, try supper at a prospective in-laws! Each word is analyzed, how you hold your bread is mentally critiqued, and they gather afterwards and rate you against some mythic ideal yet never tell you what you did right or wrong."

"It sounds...fun..." Blain seemed to spend a few moments pondering how he would measure up. "Yet I doubt I would do as well as you in that field."

Unconsciously letting the sadness temper his voice, Vidkun said "And that, my friend, is the struggle. You're right, I am trapped by convention and chained to expectations that feed only familial survival. Part of me longs to see Valeria in one of Sweearah's creations; one made just to accentuate everything Valeria is." Holding up a finger, he said "Don't get me wrong, Valeria is very...pleasant to look at just as she is. I will not admit to thinking about silks that are as fine as her skin and a embroidered cotton mantle that cannot compare to her beautiful locks. My sister grows a rose that would offset the blush in her cheeks just so and all my various sisters, aunts, cousins, and whatever else would just be as jealous as you might imagine!"

Hanging his head, Vidkun sighs. "Yet I care so much for Valeria that I cannot look upon her in that way. I love the freedom she enjoys and I cannot contemplate killing her spirit to fit the body into a mold of society's choosing. Some view nobility as a boon, my friend. As freedom to do what you want and to do so whenever you want." Giving Blain a wry grin "I missed that bit of it, sadly. Back home my every word and deed are measured and I cannot speak my mind without risking all my fathers have worked to build. Valeria is too wonderful to chain to that rock of sacrifice."

Looking around and realizing how dark it had become, Vidkun seems to recover a bit. "It is very late, Blain, and we'll be lucky to get this firewood back to the campsite unless the others are talking loud enough for us to hear!"

Nodding, Blain added. "And Valeria?"

"A wonderful woman." Vidkun replied. "Who deserves much better than I can give her. Despite the thoughts that cross my mind I will see her as a dear friend, and no more. She should have no less of me."

As the men headed back to the camp, neither noticed the quiet shadow that moved on its own...