Forgotten Freedom:43
Tony Tomay and a lone cameraman are moving nervously through an unused portion of the lower decks.
Cameraman: Dude, are you sure he's down here?
Tony Tomay: Of course not idiot! All the crew could tell us was this would be the best place to look for him and if he didn't want to be found it would be practically impossible. Do you have any bright ideas on how to track some freak who can pass through walls and teleport basically at will!?
Cameraman: Like, chill out dude. I'm just getting tired of lugging around this camera for noth...
He is suddenly cut off as malevolent laughter suddenly breaks out behind them. Both of them freeze in place and the hair stands up on the back of their necks.
Kanatash: You were looking for me.
Tony Tomay: Uh, yes. Yes we were.
Kanatash: That was a statement, not a question.
Tony Tomay: Ah, yes. Well I'm...
Kanatash: Tony Tomay. You're here to interview me for some show. Everything I need to know I have already taken from your mind. Plus a few "extra" tidbits, like that little tryst you had with the airship piolet.
Cameraman: Whoa dude! How'd you, like, do that man?
Kanatash: I'd shut up now hippy boy. I'm in a particularly tolerant mood right now but that could change "reeeeeaaaal" easy.
Tony Tomay: I'm sorry to interupt, but why don't we just complete this interview and then we get out of your way.
Kanatash: I already know what your questions are going to be but I suppose you feel the need to ask them anyway so feel free. (takes a seat in mid air)
Tony Tomay: Well then... Tell us about your past to start with.
Kanatash: Well in the begining I was a supremely gifted nomad seeking a way to strike a blow directly to Dal Quor. Back then I was practically a paladin but that changed rather quickly. I attempted to shift myself Dal Quor but things went horribly wrong and I ended up in Xoriat instead. Needless to say I spent the next 5000 years as a plaything of the Daelkyr and they drove me completely and irevocably mad.
Tony Tomay: Well, how about the rumor...
Kanatash: ...That I plan to destroy reality. Oh yes, most certainly.
Tony Tomay: (looking nervous) Is that so, but, why, don't they, wouldn't...
Kanatash: Why, because I want to hear the sound that the basic fabric of reality makes when if finally snaps. You mortals have no appreciation for such a sensation, to us spawn of Xoriat your plane of existance is like a fine wine. Something to be savored. As for the reason the rest of the crew doesn't oppose me is I don't plan to destroy reality NOW. I want to give your reality another couple million years to "mature." By that point all the crew members and in truth, more or less everyone else alive today will be long dead so they don't really care.
Tony Tomay: Well that's sort of an improvement I suppose.
Kanatash: Lisa said the same thing when she heard.
Tony Tomay: I expect she did. Now what do you think of Kithle's supposed Illithid empire, I would think your plans would conflict.
Kanatash: Not as much as you'd think. I'm the shipboard representative of the massive collaboration of Daelkyr lords who rule in Xoriat. They actually want to see this empire created and I'm more than happy to help Kithle in his plans. I passes the time really. Kithle understands that even if this empire thing works, all empires come to an end and I don't plan to destroy reality until well after that end comes.
Tony Tomay: I suppose that makes sense. What about these experiments of yours we've heard inklings of?
Kanatash: Aaaaaaaahhh, yes. In truth they too are just a way to pass the time but I do enjoy them "so" much. It's a hobby really, the horrific twisting of forms into something altogether impossible. Even better is breaking of their minds and the beautiful, beautiful sound it makes when their mind cracks.
Tony Tomay: That's really creepy.
Kanatash: I try.
From the room next door inarticulate screaming can suddenly be heard.
Kanatash: Ah, there's one of my "patients" now. Excuse me I need to attend to this. (floats through the wall)
Tony Tomay: (looking relieved) I think that concludes our interview.
Kanatash: (poking his head out of the wall with a malevolent smile) Say, how would you like to join me here. I'm sure you'd find it educational.
Cameraman: RUN DUDE!
Kanatash: Don't think I've forgotten about you hippie boy! You're going to be first!
There is a gurgling sound as the camera hits the floor and Tony Tomay can be seen fleeing in terror. Out of frame an unidentified voice calls out, "Not the lemony freshness! Anything but the lemony freshness!" as the picture slowly fades to black. The picture turns completely black and all that can be heard is Kanatash's insane laughter until that too fades out but before it does Kanatash speaks, "In parting, remember, I'm coming for you. You know who you are. It is inevitable. I will be in deepest shadows, the blackest night, the darkest ally. Waiting. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
Satnak - Idiots *Orb Hammer*
Micheal - what the ??!
Satnak - Custom power its sort of like a telekenetic blast but in a sphere around me, like a less lethal form of Ultrablast. By the way the dimension is ripping asunder get ready for work people.
Andrea - When did Satnak start researching things, that was almost strategic.
Ketler - Kithle said the arm would cause her to grow much faster and in many more areas than normal for adventurers. Its only her lack of a mission outside of wailing on any deifics that pop up that makes her seem like hired muscle.
Micheal - Well lets grab our gear guys.
Andrea - You want to work?
Micheal - Kyhber no I'm just hoping that some one will give us a nother shot around the rulebook, like vs. the Quori.
Dooj - I heard Kithle say they were still screaming over that.
Amidst the chaos, Norbaz successfully sneaks back on the ship, regaining his senses halfway through Marish's little shopping list, and selling everything back for half price. Angy, tired, and aggitated at being charmed, the cooky prepares for his next course of action. He'll have that letter back, he'll destroy it, and he'd have Marish's silence on the matter if its the last thing he did...he plotted from the shadows where he stealthily hid...
Suddenly, Norbaz thought of something - Wait a second she is Andrea's familiar, which means that if Marish read the letter than.....OH KHYBER! She already knows...she already knows...what do I do. What do I say. Soverigns I have no idea what to do...
The half giant cooky leaves the shadows on deck and walks straight for the stairs to below deck, looking suddenly pale and weak in his stride.
Norbaz: How...how could I have completely overlooked that...that's a first level mistake...I...I need to lie down. Oh Soverigns I need to lie down.
Andrea: *sporting the worst sunburn of all time* Santak.....I don't know how I'm getting revenge for what you did to Marish but....trust me. Daelkyr, Sovereign Host, Quori, King, or Rajah....I will. Oh yes, I will.
- Marish in her fully body cast is lifted up by her tail as only blinking is seen from within*
Marish: Meow.
Andrea: You always get me into trouble. I swear, I knew I should have just glued some suction cups onto your paws and used you as a decoration for the Ship's windows.
A blazingly exotic half-elf female walks through the shadowy corridors of the FF, wearing infultration gear that couldn't possibly have been made in this universe. From the trail of bodies in her wake it appears she's pretty deadly. And she's good at killing people, too.
A redshirt pops out from behind some crates and waves his hands around in a magic gesture.
Reshirt: Prepare to die, soul-sucker!
But his spell fizzles harmlessly against her body. Before he can blink, she has him by the throat.
Half-elf: Part drow. Spell resistance.
Then she sucks the magic out of him. And since magic is the basic stabalizing force for matter in this universe, he dies.
Norbaz walks past this scene, and responds half heartedly.
Norbaz: The dead redshirt quota's already been reached this week. New crew members should go check in with the captain.
Norbaz again sighs, and begins walking back to his cabin with his head held low.
Norbaz: Do...Do I go talk to her and apologize. How...what...oh. This...this just isn't happening.
The half elf part drow in infiltration gear just watches as the oddly dressed half giant passes, rather confused at what just happened.
Half-elf: Was that Norbaz? So he's a half-giant here. And psionic, I'm guessing. Pitty, I hate the taste of psionics. Too heavy an emphasis on the mind.
Volrath strides down said shadowy corridor, and begins a monologue. Volrath : I believe that it has been stated before, only redshirts and Xoriat spawn are allowed here. Further more... Wow :inlove: you're really hot. (in his head) What do I do now. This is always what happens before she either runs screaming or tries to kill me. Volrath teleports away.
Half-elf: D*mn, hot guy. Still, he's not the one I'm looking for. But if they can see me then the portals must be solidifying. Guess I'll have to hustle to that captain's office without visiting Kithle first. *sigh* Have patience my love. Soon you will rule an empire greater than your wildest dreams.
Satnak - Hey mage-vamp!
Half-elf - Who are you?
Satnak - Don't mess with the cook! I haven't had Anything beside an everlunds recipe in almost a week! Don't touch the Half-gian or i will smash you into a small red smear then scrape it up and boil it!
Half-elf - Creative threat but you are no obsta.......aacck
Satnak Has the Half-elf in a right handed neck grab.
Satnak - Geuss what *****, I am not right-handed. Also half-drow don't inherit their elf parent's spell resistance.
Puff of logic
Half-elf - hhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzeeeeeee
Satnak drops her in a heap.
Satnak - KIthle says hi, and WHO THE **** ARE YOU?!?
Terra: (behind the new girl) Word of advice. Do not mess with the deicide or anyone involved with her chili. I did once and nearly got smashed into particles.
Half-Elf: Jeez, how many Psions are there on board?
Terra: Enough to keep us all on our toes, at least.
Half-elf: *sigh* I guess I have no choice.
Satnak and Terra both jump the half-elf, but as soon as they touch her they can feel something draining their magic, draining their very existance. As powerful as they are they can break away without suffering the full effects. Satnak remembers her other arm. She strikes out, but the half-elf ducks under and grabs Satnak's head.
And kisses her.
Of course, it's a succubus type 1 "Get ready to have the life sucked outa ya".
Terra tries in vain for a minute to hit the half-elf with anything, even a piece of wood. But anything that touches the b***h dissolves. After 60 seconds Satnak's deicide arm falls off, and the half-elf lets go.
Half-elf: What?! You're still alive? There must be a powerful force protecting you. More powerful than a god……How ironic. (She squats next to the gasping Satnak.) And I never intended to touch your little chilli cook, nor any of the more useful crew……except for my beloved Kithle. :inlove:
Terra: You are one freaky lady. Do you know that?
Half-elf: Comes from my drow heratige. (Stands. Begins circling Terra.) Their goddess had a thing for tentacles. Something about "schoolgirls".
Terra: You can't have spell resistance……so how come—
Half-elf: (Smiles condescendingly.) Must be such a shame to be as lowly a creature as yourself. You're so stupid, you only think in terms of what you know. Well, I don't really have spell resistance—
Terra hits with a full on blast of everything she has. It gets sucked into the half-elf's body.
Half-elf: I, Caralot, am a black hole for magic.
The floor beneath Terra gives way, the support having been dissolved by Caralot. Fortunately Terra knows how to fly.
Caralot: My, my, the little single-breed knows some tricks. Well, I can't waste time with you. I have a child to conceive with your captain. I seriously hope my anarchist double doesn't struggle……too much. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Terra thinks quickly. She recalls Igor's lectures on being a proper villain. so far this female has lived up to most of the criteria, so Terra tries a sure trick to extract information from her.
Terra: Ack! My…magic…faiding.
She falls to the bottom of the hole.
Caralot: Well, I've got to run.
Caralot walks off.
Terra: *Oooookay, she's either not stupid……or she's serious about not bothing with the rest of the crew.*
Satnak - Geuss what *****.
Half-elf - how are you standing?
Satnak - I'm stronger than the gods remember.
Satnak despite being one armed unleashes a devastating series of attacks backed up by her soulmelds the half-elf is neatly pummeled.
Satnak - Now behave and let kithle sort this out.
Half-elf - (now sporting a black eye aand several borken bones, as well as bruises and ruptured organs) huh?
Kithle teleports in.
Kithle - Gotta watch satnak here she is definetly the best warriors i've ever seen. Even without here psionic power. Also little note the arms effects are permanent even detached it still leaves its power in her. Now you will tell me who you are, why you are here, and why you want to meet the captain.
Satnak puts her arm back on.
Satnak - Oh by the way I'll take that back plz *zortch*, thank you.
Half-elf - as if my head didn't hurt enough.
Jarlot: Okay, there's a dimensional tear. I wonder what that means.
Kanatash: Unless its repaired then all of time and space will collapse.
Jarlot: And let me guess, you're whole Age of Xoriat thing will happen.
Kanatash: On the contrary, it HAS happened. It exists in the future that has yet to come about.
Jarlot: Uh huh...
Kanatash: Your pitiful 3 dimensional mind is unfortunately painfully ill equipped to comprehend what I'm talking about.
Jarlot: Right, whatever. Remind me next time I visit Xoriat to go kill some more Daelkyr.
Kanatash: Such an action would only serve to reincarnate the immortal and eternal.
Jarlot: It would be fun though.
Kanatash: If there is anything that should be noted about you Captain that you might be proud of its the fact that you're the only person whose ever actually returned from a state of utter and complete insanity. Such things normally are utterly immune to clerical magic or sorcery to remake the mind since it alters. It means you are either very stupid or very special. I lean towards the former.
Jarlot: Oh, I don't think you'd like what you'd find in my mind about now.
Kanatash: I'm sure it would be just a vacant mass of sexual moores and neurosis like the rest of your underdeveloped race.
Jarlot: Remember when I had you interviewing the Dwarven Lady as revenge?
Kanatash: A rather pathetic form of revenge yes.
Jarlot: Well while we were in the Quori's dimension and I was talking to Khyber...
Kanatash: A nonexistent incarnation of mortal's concepts of evil....
Jarlot: I sort of picked up a trick or two from the Dreaming Dark and put them to use against you.
Kanatash: The very idea one of your plebian brain could possibly affect mine is about as likely as the World series being won by Boston.
Jarlot: Well I'm sure you'll notice what I did sometime soon.
Kanatash: Of course. *picks up a cup of coffee to drink*
Jarlot: I hope you like that. Marish made it.
Kanatash: ....A *GIRL touched this!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
- he runs slamming into Marish*
Marish: Hi.
Kanatash: AND if you EVER touch me again you filthy *****BAG with your....female GERMS I'll reduce your brain to microatoms.
- runs to the bathroom to scrub off*
Ketler: Wow....that's a particularly nasty sort of revenge.
Jarlot: There's nothing no elder intelligence cannot be undone by greater than by cooties.
Ketler: You know he's going to destroy you for that.
Jarlot: Whenever he tries to use his powers against one of the crew...you know...I like....it rebounds with Marish's Naughty Adventures Videos I through VIII, which has the Palov-Clockwork Orange reaction affect on him too.
Kanatash: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY DARK MASTERS WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!?
Jarlot: Yeah he's going to be doing that for a while.
Marish: How odd.
Kanatash: THE FUR! MY PURE AND PRISTINE MIND! THE FURRRRRRRRR!
- sound of Kalashatar head pounding against a urinal*
Jarlot: Hmmm...now we have to deal with the Illithids from the Empire of the future coming out to menace us.
Micheal: So uh, Kanatash, Why'd you freak out like that about the cootie stuff?
Kanatash: (trembling slightly) I'd really rather not go into it.
Dooj: Ah, come on!
Kanatash: Do you really want to know what could disturb a being of absolute madness and evil THAT much?
Dooj: When you put it that way...
Suddenly a short Kalashtar girl lands on the deck from out of nowhere. Her clash horribly and her hair is violently purple. At the sight of Kanatash she begins bouncing up and down and letting out a high pitched screem.
???: (anoyingly high voive) YEAH, KANATASH! Oh wow, I've been like looking for you for like forever!
Kanatash: BY THE DERANGED LORDS AND ALL THAT IS MAD IN THIS WORLD NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kanatash suddenly and violently snaps her neck with an uncontrolled blast of pisonic force.
Kanatash: OH ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****..
Kanatash dives through the deck but the cadence of his cursing can still be heard. This cadance soon begins to grow more obsecene, even shifting languages a few times, until it descends into a series of utterations from no known languages that none the less causes alien and impossible landscapes to flash in the listener's mind that are non the less obscene.
Micheal: Ok, I'm impressed.
Dooj: What are you talking about. By his standards that kill was pathetic. Even when outnumbered a hundred to one he always spends more time than that to make sure the death is painful or better yet psychologically damaging.
Micheal: Well yeah, I was talking about that stream of obscenities he spouted there. I ask him to teach me a few of them if I wasn't sure it would drive me mad.
---
Later in the lower decks Kanatash is floating in mid air, curled into the fetal position, when Kithle enters the room.
Kithle: Ok, time to fess up, what the **** was the incident on the deck all about?
Kanatash: (wimpering slightly) It's her, she's found me.
Kithle: I'd like to get some strait answers or I'm going blast you back to Xoriat. Who was that girl.
Kanatash: (recovering slightly) Her name is Crystal. Before my little trip to Xoriat she was my lover and after things went horribly wrong she came to track me down...
Kithle: Wait a second there. I thought you said you spent 5000 years in Xoriat?
Kanatash: Being a fellow spawn of Xoriat you should know this but since you've never been there I'll excuse it. Time doesn't work like mortals seem to think it does. On Xoriat it is variable to say the least. Two people could enter the realm of madness moments apart and even if the first spent a year there and the second spent a minute, the first could still leave first. With the time dilation at the time while I was on Xoriat 5000 years only a few days passed here.
Kithle: Alright, now back to the girl, Crystal you called her?
Kanatash: Yes, you see when I returned and she saw what had become of me she decided I had to be put down. Unfortunately for her she was a telepath so she tried to burn out my mind, and you know what happens when someone gets inside my mind. I was freash form Xoriat so the mental feedback was enourmous. It reduced her mind to that of a teenage vallygirl.
Kithle: WOW, she got it worse than Jonny did.
Kanatash: True, unfortunately she developed a bizare obscession with me, like I was some kind of rock star to her. She has been stalking me for years and I have had to go to great lengths to escape her.
Kithle: So what's the problem now? You killed her up there on the deck right?
Kanatash: I only wish. An odd side effect of the mental feedback caused her to suddenly develop the skills of Thrallherd and each of her thralls looks exactly like her. Plus her mind has been so damaged that I can not read it to determin which one of them is the origional. It is like there are hundreds of copies of her and no matter how many I slay there are always more. I may have slain the one of the deck but now the rest of them know where I am and they will be coming.
Kithle: You know, I think I'm starting to see why you have this issue with cooties...
Kanatash: If you think its bad now wait until the rest of them show up.
Kithle - Talk Caralot or I will make finding what i want to know a ship wide production. Kanatash, Sa'vor, and all the others using their favorite tricks. I'd advise you spill. I was this close to a vacation. Death paper has a list of things to take care of on his tail. The old Dwarf lady is looking after feal-thas and his siblings for me. Terra has my network running while I'm gone, and Satnak is more than capable of destroying anything that needs stopping as I'm sure you've noticed. So spill before i lose my patience and do this the fun way. My brain sucking isn't magic.
Crystal: (about a dozen in unison) YEAH, WE LIKE LOVE YOU KANATASH!
Kanatash: GO AWAY! (unleashes a blast of fire, incinerating half of them)
Crystal: YEAH, HE'S LIKE KILLING US!! LIKE, OUR HERO!
Kanatash: (blasting away the remaining Crystals) Ugh, I really, really, REALLY need a vacation. And I need to kill something. Slowly, painfully, and psycoticly. Yeah, that'll make me feel better. I need to get on that.
