Editing Forgotten Freedom:21

[[Forgotten_Freedom:20|Last Plot]] -- [[Forgotten_Freedom:Plot_Lines|Plot Line Home]] -- [[Forgotten_Freedom:22|Next Plot]]

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(Somewhere in Xen'drick, a half-giant covered in tribal markings runs through the thick jungle, being pursued by drow in scorpion-patterned chitin armor... this hunt continues as the hunt aboard the Forgotten Freedom begins.)

(Somwhere in the cargo bays, the mind-controlled Redshirts slit through the shadows; next to them is a speaker tube; from which a trickle of sand pours steadily, forming a mound. Behind them Slip moves and a bat appears in the corridor ahead)

'''Red shirt one''': Wait... where did all that sand come from?

'''Red Shirt two''': You know... I don't know. 

'''Red shirt one''': You can tell why Kanatash put me in charge.

'''Red Shirt two''': Are you sure? I thought it was because you were generally meaner. 

'''Red shirt one''': Shut the Khyber up, you annoying filth!

'''Red Shirt two''': There you go again!

(The bat shapeshifts to form the shadowy figure of Allen; Slip appears before them and the sand shapeshifts into Sa'vor) 

'''Sa'vor''': Welcome to breakfast, are you hungry? 

'''Red shirt two''': Not really...

'''Sa'vor''': (vampiric fangs lengthining, Slip and Allen close in) I don't think you have a choice in the matter, ( Allen lunges forwards and grabs redshirt one and begins to drain his blood, but redshirt two panics and flees amongst the crates) 

'''Slip''': He's mine! (raises a hand crossbow, she fires and the black serrated bolt flashes like lightning, striking the redshirt in the shoulder as he flees, he collapses) 

'''Sa'vor''': Let me guess, Psionic venom? 

'''Slip''': Yes, cuts off Kanatash's mind control and erases all the knowledge from his mind (Allen drops the husk of Redshirt one to the floor, then quickly he disintegrates the corpse) 

'''Allen''': Yeah, anyway, when did you have a raven? 

'''Sa'vor''': Ah, well, I decided since I've now mastered some wizard abilities I'd get a familiar, I've named this Raven Void, he's my spy and associate. 

'''Slip''': But I thought I was your spy... 

'''Sa'vor''': You spy on the captain and guide him towards our goals, Void here just listens in and keeps an eye on everyone. Just to make sure they're not plotting our downfall. 

'''Allen''': Still, that's one scary bird ...


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A Police Box slowly materializes on the Deck of the Forgotten Freedom 

The Doctor Steps out

'''12th Doctor''': Hey muther *@)@)@@, I'm looking for Ketler to put a cap in his ass.

'''Ketler''': Doctor? I somehow expected you to be different.

'''12th Doctor''': Well live and learn ho. I'm here to tell you to stop messin with dimensional portals or BLAM right between your eyes b***!

'''Ketler''': You're like my idol, man.

'''12th Doctor''': Word to your mother.

(Returns to his Police Box and disappears)

Terra and Volrath silently observe Ketler's mindless ramblings, directed at some unknown entity he refers to as "Doctor"

'''Volrath''': What did you give him?

'''Terra''': I extracted a few compounds from the chili and added them to his booze during lunch.

'''Volrath''': How did you know it wouldn't kill him?

'''Terra''': I didn't. 

'''12th Doctor''': You see, elves love Wayne Brady because he makes orcs like Miss Piggy look like Gruumsh.

'''Ketler''': Wow... you're a fountain of wisdom.

'''12th Doctor''': ORC power man. Orc scientists have to stick together. Y'know what I'm saying?

'''Ketler''': Neither of us are orcs...

'''12th Doctor''': Whatever, now smoke this dreamlily.

'''Ketler''': Errr... well... I'm not really into that sort of thing...

'''12th Doctor''': Listen orkie, if you do not smoke this we have a problem.

(Pulls out sonic screwdriver and points it at his head)

'''Ketler''': Right-o!

(pufffffff)

'''Jarlot''': There's a LOT of subtext to these ramblings.

'''Kithle''': I've got the list right here, he tries anything mentioned here and he's newspaper chow.

'''Terra''': Whatever ... wait a second, Newspaper chow?

'''Kithle''': (slips squriming rolled up newspaper into pocket) Don't ask.


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'''Terra''': I wouldn't try it, Kithle...

'''Kithle''': (Sneaking behind her) What? 

'''Terra''': Trying to suck out my brain may be hazerdous to your health.

'''Kithle''': We'll see about that.

Kithle strikes, only to recoil in pain as Terra bursts into flame, singeing his tentacle.

'''Kithle''': The hell?!

'''Terra''': Incendiary skin. 

'''Kithle''': That's not fair! Even so, the acid should still effect you!

'''Terra''': (Rolls back her sleve to reveal a patch of green grafted to her skin) This grants me permenant acid resistance.

'''Kithle''': You've gotta be kidding me!!

'''Terra''': In my line of work you can't be too careful. I got these to protect against some assassination attempts. It just so happens that it works great against Mind Flayers. 

'''Kithle''': Grrrrrr... (Kithle storms off, muttering)

'''Terra''': Oh, one more thing!

Kithle turns and looks at her angrily. Terra lifts up her hand and shows him a ring.

'''Terra''': See this? It's a Ring of Greater Spell Turning. I wouldn't suggest trying to suck out my brain that way either. Do you really want to test if it would work or not?

'''Kithle''': Gah!!!

Kithle throws his arms in the air in frustration and runs off.

'''Terra''': I love doing that. 


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'''Volrath''': John, why do you believe that killing innocents is so wrong?

'''John''': Because they have done nothing to deserve death.

'''Volrath''': Yes, but if they are truly innocent then wouldn't a happy afterlife be awaiting them?

'''John''': They might not be ready to enter the afterlife yet.

'''Volrath''': True, but you can be raised with just one spell, that has a material component costing only 500gp.

'''John''': Um, well...

'''Volrath''': I'll leave you to your thoughts. 


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Satnak is still camped out by the chili and refuses to let Terra anywhere near it.

'''Terra''': Oh, come on. Why not? I just need a little...

'''Satnak''': That's what you said last time, and here you are, looking for more! It won't be long before it's gone!

'''Terra''': That was just a test sample. It proved to be non-fatal, at least in the preliminary trial, so I want to start mass-producing it.

'''Satnak''': Let's see if you're telling the truth...

Satnak tries to read Terra's mind, but feels her attack deflected. After several attepts, she stops in frustration.

'''Satnak''': How the hell did you do that? You're not psionic, are you?

'''Terra''': (Smirking amusedly) No, and you'll find out how in due time. It's driving Kanatash bats and I'm not ready to spoil the fun yet. 

Terra heads for the door, but turns just before she leaves.

'''Terra''': Oh, and thanks for the chili.

It seems while Satnak was busy trying to scan her, Terra was able to grab a vialful of 12 alarm de Norbaz.

'''Satnak''': (slightly annoyed) You're just full of surprises, aren't you? Very well, you win this round, elf.


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After another day of small-scale warfare, reported (yet unconfirmed) Batman sightings and several assassination attempts (strangely enough, not by Assassins), Satnak is fighting back against a barrel of wayward Chili which has evolved into an alchemical golem...

'''Satnak''': Die! Take that! Mmm, chilli! And that!

'''Sentient chili''': But I'm just trying to get out of here! Leave me alone!

'''Satnak''': You're my chili now! *takes another swing* All mine!

(Suddenly, a portal opens right beside her, and out steps Chuck Norris!)

'''Chuck Norris''': Hey there! Need a hand?

'''Satnak''': It's Chuck Norris! 

'''Sentient Chili''': It's Chuck Norris! Get me out of here!

'''Chuck Norris''': Okay then.

(The Sentient Chili and Chuck Norris depart through the portal)

'''Satnak''': NNNoooo!!! My Chili! Chuck Norris! NNNooo! *sob* Kill me now *sob*.

'''Terra''': Look on the bright side, there's one more barrel left after your pigging out and the chili evolving...

(Satnak and Terra both dive for the last barrel.)


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(Somewhere in the jungles of Xen'drick, a pile of dead jungle drow with a half-giant covered in tribal markings standing over them, panting and roaring.)

'''Satnak''': (holding Terra with the grafted arm) My barrel, I can and will simply crush you to death. This arm dissassembles primordial darkness, deities and great old ones, it will mash you to particles. My Chili *UBERGLARE*.

'''Terra''': (in utter raving terror) Yes'm (runs away)

'''Satnak''': And you (glaring at chili) Don't even think of calling for help or I will show you the move that sent floral dark to non-existence.

Terra returns to her room, still slightly shaken from Satnak's Uberglare.

'''Terra''': Damn, and I thought an angry Volrath was scary...

Sitting at her lab table, she starts working with the chili she managed to steal before Satnak's death grip. As she grumbles softly, her robe rustles slightly.

'''Terra''': (Seemingly to no one) Yeah, I know. I should have known better. I got a little complacent after my recent successes. 

She pauses for a moment, listening. She smiles and continues.

'''Terra''': Don't worry, I won't let that slide...

The rustling stops, and Terra continues in silence.


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(Volrath stomps into the captain's cabin)

(Kithle is sitting behind the desk)

'''Volrath''': Who are you?

'''Kithle''': I am Kithle, I will be filling in for the captain while he is gone. Now what was your problem?

'''Volrath''': Well I had this whole speech prepared for Jarlot that the ship didn't have a large enough variety of shrines in the chapel, and that it was descriminating again non-good religions.

'''Kithle''': By all means if there is an unrepresented religion you would like to make a shrine for go ahead.

'''Volrath''': I will need ten redshirt helpers for a proper shrine.

'''Kithle''': Done.


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(A few moments later cries come from the chapel.)

(Lisa walks into the chapel to investigate.)

(She opens the door to find horribly mutilated and disemboweled redshirts, most of them still twitching. Volrath is standing in the middle drenched in blood, holding a knife and mythos tome in his arms. He is wearing a deep violet robe with designs of pure madness, giving praise to the elder gods.)

(Lisa screams in terror.)

'''Volrath''': What?


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"Your Majesty, I beg you to stop a moment and consider for a second treating these individuals like normal subjects. You are the King, the Lord of all you survey. Except, that is enforced milord by your armies of troopers and your wizards and the strength that comes from respect for tradition as well as your place as given by the gods."

"What are these men? These men sir are those whom will think absolutely nothing of killing every single one of your guards if you send them onto their group. They will further never rest at that point from hunting you down and killing you because you have betrayed them. They value this perception of gratitude and their own infallibility more than they value your life or the lives of all of your men. Worse, your guards will prove to be meaningless to these assassins. They wield powers that can shake the very foundations of the castle and bring down the walls with such ease as you might consider them an earthquake. Their warriors can slice up dozens of armed men and take hundreds of arrow bolts without dying. They survive fireballs and bolts of lightning from the Heaven and seem to grow stronger as they kill."

"There will be no place in Heaven or ground where you can hide for they will remember your slight and they will... if not strong enough now... eventually return to destroy you even if it is years later. They will consider themselves utterly and completely justified that you are a tyrant and evil along with beyond redemption. Worse, the people will agree with them. In our world, we are fallible men who sit on thrones of gold with crowns won from ancient conquerors. We placate the gods with gifts and we leave sleeping dragons lying as we resign ourselves to the unnamable horrors that dot our lands."

“These men do not accept that. They wrestle with the dragons, destroy the armies of the humanoids… and by armies I mean ARMIES, and lay waste to the hosts of horrors both ancient as well as surreal with their weapons that individually match the greatest legends. They ARE legends already because we the weak and humble humans of the land are now close to being the dominant species because they have cast low demons, eldritch horrors, and wizards thousands of years old without the slightest hesitation. They can be killed but these men simply go forth to the Dark Realms to retrieve their dead. Villagers flock to their daughters and wives to them when they do not give slavish devotion that they hang those insipid enough to insult them. Believe me majesty when I say that if they want your crown…. they could have it.”

“However, this is not something you should be unhappy about. Merely accept that they are as close to the gods in living form as you are likely to meet. They will gladly help you destroy the Kraken underneath the depths and take the treasures of a forgotten Empire. Tell them to do these things and you may yet keep them from idly laying waste to great hordes. Bury the treasure they bring back for their aid is fickle and you may invite jealousy. Also, do not attempt to take what they feel is theirs for they know nothing of law but their own conscience.”

“Hang me for these words if you think them treasonous but know they are TRUE.”


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Satnak sits down to dinner with a well earned bowl of chili. The last barrel became sentient, and she had only just killed it again.

'''Satnak''': (To the now dead chili) That's more like it. I told you not to run. (Takes a bite) ...the hell?

The chili that was on her spoon has mysteriously vanished. Satnak takes another bite, watching closely this time. Again, the chili disappears just before it enters her mouth.

'''Satnak''': Grrrrrr....

Grabbing the bowl, she attempts to eat it directly. The contents disappear just as she puts the bowl to her lips.

'''Satnak''': Son of a *****!

(In the hall outside)
'''Volrath''': Man, this is evil, even for you!

'''Terra''': I know. Isn't it great?

'''Volrath''': Yeah!! I haven't had this much fun with a curse in ages!

Satnak finds that the chili is warping back to the barrel. She grabs the barrel and tries to eat from it. All the chili disappears, and one of the empty barrels rattles slightly.

'''Satnak''': BLOODY MOL!!!!!

'''Terra''': No one, and I mean NO ONE, gets the best of me...

Satnak finds the chili in the other barrel, only to have it warp again. This process repeats for a while with an increasingly desperate and hungry Satnak in pursuit.

'''Satnak''': Nooooo! Come back chili! So hungry....

Terra smiles and walks away, Volrath reluctantly following.

'''Satnak''': GAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

'''Terra''': (smiling blissfully) Ahhhh... the sweet sounds of cracking sanity...


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A lone half-giant waits at the port in Stormreach. He sees as a black speck appears over the horizon, comes closer, goes a bit away, comes closer again, starts zigging and zagging, dips, and then proceeds towards the docks. It becomes visible as the Forgotten Freedom, and soon the half-giant, now clearly identified as Norbaz, readies his new and trusted grappling crossbow as the ship is showing no signs of slowing down for a landing.

'''Norbaz''': Vacations are good, but sometimes its good to come home.

The grappling crossbow bolt races through the air and snags itself upon an adamantine spike upon the keel.

'''John''': Hey, welcome back.

Norbaz climbs his way to the deck, despite ridiculous high speeds, and immediately finds himself accosted.

'''Satnak''': YOU! CHILI! NOW!!!


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Satnak runs off gleefully with a fresh bowl of chili and Norbaz is left wondering where his new stove came from as Terra walks in.

'''Terra''': Pretty slick, huh?

'''Norbaz''': And, you are...?

'''Terra''': Oh, how thoughtless of me. My name is Terra, resident drugrunner, and I joined while you were away. I traveled with Volrath and Muradin for a while before they came here.

'''Norbaz''': Oh, those two. They destroyed my kitchen in the first place, you know.

'''Terra''': I know, but Muradin probably saved your lives. Not the best way to go about it, really, but still....

'''Norbaz''': Volrath's really that bad of a cook?

'''Terra''': Let's just say that eating the tamest thing he's ever prepared, and remember, this is after I made him take a few things out, makes you feel like your internal organs are being pulled out through your nose with Doog's Chain of Command while being forced to drink Alchemist Fire.

'''Norbaz''': When the Captain returns, I may have to suggest that as a new punishment....

'''Terra''': Kithle liked the idea. Anyway, I've heard a lot about you and have been looking forward to meeting you.

'''Norbaz''': Why's that?

'''Terra''': Your approach to evil is not unlike mine. We both prefer subtlety and underhandedness to overt brutality. Besides, anyone who makes a popular dish into a weapon of mass destruction seems like my kind of person.

'''Norbaz''': I do what I can. But that still doesn't explain the kitchen...

'''Terra''': That would be my doing. I've already made a lot of money off my newest drug, and felt you should get a cut.

'''Norbaz''': What's it got to do with me? I just got back.

'''Terra''': I based it off your chili. I figured anything that caustic should have some great hallucinogenic properties, and it paid off.

'''Norbaz''': I smell a catch. No one does something like this without expecting something in return....

'''Terra''': True, but I think you'll like my offer. In exchange for 25% of the profits off this drug, I can expect your help in my future endeavors.

'''Norbaz''': What kind of help would this entail?

'''Terra''': Nothing too dangerous, just helping me test my products. I like to observe behavior changes without the subject's knowledge. I would also be more than happy to hear any ideas you may have.

'''Norbaz''': ...40%.

'''Terra''': 30.

'''Norbaz''': 35.

'''Terra''': 33.

'''Norbaz''': Done.

Terra and Norbaz shake hands as shivers run down the collective spines of the rest of the crew....


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Mickey and Devon are walking down the hallway, Mickey is drinking a Cure Light Rum, and Devon is flipping through his little black book.

'''Mickey''': I tells ya, there's somethin in the food *hic*. I've got people coming in complaining about cramps, and sayin that they's seein all kinds a' stuff.

'''Devon''': Oh, that. Norbaz got back the other night. The chili is back up to full power now.

'''Mickey''': Naw, naw, it ain't that. I'm thinkin that Terra chick has something to do with it.

'''Devon''': Ah, yes. The sultry druggist. Now there's a woman worthy of my time and talents... *grins*

'''Mickey''': Yeah, that will keep her busy for a couple minutes.

'''Devon''': Au Contraire, I happen to know a certain mixture she keeps that revs up her-

Captain Jarlot rounds the corner, grabs the rest of Mickey's potion and downs it in one shot, then tosses the empty over his shoulder.

'''Jarlot''': Well, that takes care of that dead soldier. What's up, gang?

'''Mickey''': Devon was just telling me the biggest whopper I've ever heard. Oh, and the food is spiked.

'''Jarlot''': Well, that goes without saying around here. Whatcha got in mind?

'''Devon''': Well, supposedly, the crew has been seeing stuff. Hallucinations and such. I'm merely daydreaming about that new chick Terra, in nothing but her--

'''Jarlot''': Hallucinations, huh? Like what?

SKUGGAFOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM 

A loud explosion blasts out of Pholly's lab. Pholly goes darting down the corridor, clothing burning away, and shouting 'waterwaterwaterwaterwaterwaterwater!!!' 

'''Jarlot''': Did you guys see that?

'''Mickey''': Yup.

'''Devon''': Kinda wish I hadn't, but yeah.

'''Jarlot''': And it was Pholly, right?

'''Mickey''': Yuppers

'''Devon''': Don't know anyone else that.....short.

'''Jarlot''': On fire?

'''Devon''': Definitely.

'''Mickey''': As usual.

'''Jarlot''': Well, everything seems to be in order. Carry on then.


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Devon sits moping after Terra just shot him down for the fifth time.

'''Devon''': I don't get it! How does she resist my charms?

'''Marish''': I think the answer to that is pretty obvious...

'''Michael''': She ignores me completely. Something's just not right.

'''Marish''': I don't know why you two keep trying to win a losing battle...

'''Michael''': What do you mean by that?

'''Marish''': You mean you can't tell?

'''Devon''': Huh?

'''Marish''': Haven't you noticed? She keeps staring at a certain person whenever they're in the room.

'''Michael''': Well, she does keep her eye on Lisa a lot. But I don't see.......... wait... are you saying what I think you're saying?

'''Marish''': Yep.

'''Devon''': That is so hot...


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'''Kithle''': O Kanatash I have a surprise for you.

'''Kanatash''': What?!

'''Kithle''': (whaps Kanatash with newspaper)

'''Kanatash''': Yeeeeeeeooooooouuuuuch!!!

'''Kithle''': It's a paper golem with the shaping property and ghost touch. Cool huh?

'''Kanatash''': My mind seed!?

'''Kithle''': Doesn't work on me anymore. I picked up a few things from Sa'vor you didn't see in the tomb. Um, also check your back.

'''Kanatash''': Huh?

'''Kithle''': Andrea, your turn.

(Wraiths stream into the room from the walls, and grapple Kanatash)

'''Andrea''': You're not as untouchable as you like to think, Kantash.

'''Kithle''': This crystal will delete mind-seed from your repertoire, dominating the redshirts is one thing, but we cannot allow you to replicate yourself like that. It's making the redshirts hard to handle and difficult to use properly. (activates crystal)

'''Kantash''': NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'll be good

'''Kithle''': Not on my watch, you won't.

'''Andrea''': Are we done here?

'''Kithle''': Yeah (swallows crystal), there, now no one can use it but I can save it for if it becomes necessary. Don't let the wraiths go overboard, the last thing we need is for Kanatash to rise as undead.

'''Andrea''': Got ya, time to go, kids.

'''Wraiths''': Awwwww


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After Kithle leaves the room the second Kanatash teleports in.

'''Kanatash 1''': What a bastard. Oh well, I guess I shouldn't hold it against him. If things work out he will still create an Illithid empire and I can certainly take advantage of that.

'''Kanatash 2''': Maybe, but he's still an idiot. He never remembers his history. We're nomads, not telepaths. We don't even know Mind Seed. That was a contingencied Mindwipe power.

'''Kanatash 1''': He seems to have forgotten about you as well. Amazing how often people forget I have a duplicate. He did manage to delete the power though, did you lose it as well?

'''Kanatash 2''': Yes, unfortunately. A pity too, since we did enjoy erasing the memory of us committing some act so I would be blamed on Pholly. (pulls out a small chunk of crystal) On the bright side we still have this power stone of mind seed for later use. Any new thoughts on who our victim should be?

At this moment Kithle teleports back into the room.

'''Kithle''': (snatching the power stone) I'll take this. It should prove very useful to me. (teleports out)

'''Kanatash 1''': Well, it appears he's smarter than we give him credit for.

'''Kanatash 2''': He's still a bastard though.

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[[Forgotten_Freedom:20|Last Plot]] -- [[Forgotten_Freedom:Plot_Lines|Plot Line Home]] -- [[Forgotten_Freedom:22|Next Plot]]