Forgotten Freedom:37

Last Plot -- Plot Line Home -- Next Plot

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Jarlot: Just to remind everyone, I am the person here with the most military experience.

Kithle: So you fought in the Last War, big deal.

Jarlot: PFFFT! The Last War was piddling compared to my MMORPG experience.

Kithle: Your what now?

Jarlot: Ah, those were the days...

---

Five Years ago

A group of stereotypical adventuring dressed Andrea (Wizard), Jarlot (Fighter), Tifa (Female fighter), Aerith (Cleric), and Stupid (Barbarian) are present

Jarlot: Okay, basically here's what we do. We work to clean out this dungeon here and build up gold, EXP, and magical items from what they've collected then we wait for it to regenerate. We repeat this process a bit until we can move on to the next dungeon level.

Stupid: You F*** F*****! Who put you in charge! I came here to kick some ass! CHARGE!

Jarlot: Andrea?

Andrea: FIREBALL!

Stupid: *is killed*

Jarlot: Okay, now that is over with let's work out our plan...

(Another Stupid suddenly appears)

Stupid 2: You f***ing team killer!

Tifa: I'm on it.

(Shoots her bow several times into Stupid)

Jarlot: Everytime he regenerates, just kill him again.

Stupid 3: F***ing CAMPER!

Aerith: So I deal with the healing as you fight, we retreat until heal again, then move in again to the next room?

Jarlot: Yeah, take everything. We can trade it back at our guild.

Illithid: Hey, you guys going to be long? We've got a whole host of mind-controlled orcs, giant bats, and stockpiled all of our stuff in here. Some of us have jobs you know.

Jarlot: Just keep your damn... err... robes on.

Stupid: HA! I'm a Dark Elf now so you can't treat me like the other characters!

Andrea: Fireball!

Stupid: B****!

Andrea: Aerith, I'd appreciate if you stopped reincarnating him.

Jarlot: Okay, let's move! GUILD OF THE BIG DAWGS AWAY!

---

Kithle: *stares in horror*

Jarlot: Yeah, we cleaned out like fifty dungeons before we finally got the ship. Of course I blew all the gold on resurrections, some bad trade, oh and the usual pleasures. The game stopped being fun when all those damned munchkins and their farming started popping up though.

Terra: That's the dumbest lie I've ever... Kithle?

Kithle: You're responsible for the GREAT PURGE of the Illithid race!?

Aerith: See, I told you dungeons didn't regenerate!

Jarlot: He got off lucky compared to the Dark Elves. That was before they let people play them and then they were in every party.

---

Kithle: Tifa, eat something!!! Here, Water. Satnak, you make sure she gets ready for a fight, light meals, and Mineral water for the whole crew until the show down we need to be at peak. This means no booze.

Crew: NEVER

Kithle: (Points to Death paper and and Sa'vor) You were saying?

Crew: Nvm

Kithle: Okay Satnak, Terra, Sa'vor, Tifa, and Silence, you 5 are in charge of holding the bastard in place. Pholly/ie I want you and the artificers working on ways of suppressing this critters powers. Aerith, Jeala any and all info is helpful. Everyone else will be assisting the ficers and efforts to suppress the critter's powers at long range. Feal-thas, take the minions and hide. You guys aren't ready for this kind of crap. Death paper, you go with them if anyone tries to sneak past you slice their appendages off. Redshirts will be used as shields as per standard operational Procedure. Satnak, Do not use fatal levels of Zorching.

Satnak: AWWWWWWWWWW. I wanna wipe out something big, no hard feelings, Lisa.

Lisa: EEK

Terra and Kithle: NO, bad Satnak, no genocide for you.

Satnak: Fine you bloody tyrants

---

Jaela: Maybe the demon wiping them out is worth it.

Kithle: Vrin, get Klaz healed... um, you know, screw it he needs a resurrection. Aerith, you're up.

NJ26: *whispers to Jeala* one more stunt like this and I will kill you, sister or not

Jaela: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SCARY NINJA LADY

Jarlot: aha! proof I'm not the only one who sees Jingo, she can't be a figment if somebody sober saw her.

Jaela: Who's Jingo? I was talking about the scary lady who looks like mom's old graduation portrait.

Jarlot: What, no, Jingo's a goblin.

Michael: Yeah, Cap needs to lay off the booze.

Lisa: He meant you too, Micheal.

Michael: awww crap.

Jarlot: When did we all start taking orders from the Flayer?

Kithle: I dunno... HOW ABOUT EVER SINCE I STARTED PULLING YOU PEOPLE'S COLLECTIVE ARSES OUT OF THE FIRE AS A CAREER. DO YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW LONG ITS BEEN SINCE I MIMICKED ANYBODY FOR FUN?!? A FREAKING YEAR!! I GET 10 MINUTES WITH THIS DEMON OF LIGHT I'M GONNA BREAK HIS SENSE OF SELF INTO SO MANY PIECES THAT THE ONLY WAY TO REPRESENT IT IS A CHARISMA OF ONE OVER INFINITY!!!

Igor: Mathter, I think it might be a good idea to look into getting Kithle thome more vacathion time.

---

Cheese: It's getting close, people.

Sa'vor: I've been researching this demon. I believe it is a Rakshasa Rajah named Sutekh.

Cheese: If it was only a Rajah I wouldn't be concerned. This was no ordinary demon that got sealed in the Flame: this was the demon of teenage rebellion.

Kithle: You can't be serious.

Cheese: That's why hundreds of years having to listen to the Silver Flame was a bad idea. It's become like a teen who's been booted through military school and come out the other side a kiss-a**.

Kithle: How can you tell where he is? I can't sense a thing.

Sa'vor: Neither can I or Kantash.

Cheese: I'm not tracking it by trying to read its mind or magical signature. I can sense where any light source on Eberron is, and a being composed of pure flame qualifies.

Kithle: How?

Cheese: I am a being of pure shadow. Therefore I am linked to all shadow anywhere. Shadow runs from the light. So it's basically like knowing the really scary bruiser is coming by how fast the bums at the bar clear out.

Jarlot: So how fast is this thing coming?

Cheese: Well, since we aren't that far from Thrane, and we're not moving due to the fact that the ship still isn't repaired—

Roosevelt: It's not my fault anymore. Ketler is the one who deals with the engines.

There is a *vrooooooooom* sound, and the FF lifts into the air. Finally.

Roosevelt: I guess sticking the door to his secret Jaela stash did the trick.

Jaela: Flamekeep is only an hour away by flight.

Cheese: —and because it increases dramatic tension, we've got an hour.

Jarlot: An hour?

Cheese: We're operating under narrative rules. Reality doesn't apply if it makes things less interesting.

Jarlot: Well, then maybe we can have a drink…

Cheese: Remember, everyone, this thing is pure Law and Good. It's immune to any magic or similar from a Chaotic or Evil source.

Kithle: Magic circle against chaos and evil?

Cheese: But concentrated so many times that it's like a mirror. If you think you can survive your own power then you can at least try to distract it. I haven't reviewed my notes on this power, but you might not even be able to get near enough to hit it. Now I'm going to need something from you, Kanatash, and Sa'vor.

Three Übers: Yes?

Cheese: I need you to set up a shield around a chamber on this ship, a shield which I can raise and lower but not anyone else. I has to be completely impenetrable, even by you guys. Oh, and NJ 26 will be with me for this operation. Don't ask questions and no one read our minds after this.

Klaz: Hey Cheese! I've got a cracken idea—

Cheese: Already had it. Go ahead, I've got something else planned.

---

And so it Begins

Jarlot : Slip, even though you don't exist, BANK STARBOARD!

Slip :Uh, thats towards the monster.

Jarlot : Then turn to the OTHER starboard! It's reaching for us!

Kithle : Alright, so we're 5000 feet in the air right now, correct?

Ketler : A little more actually.

Kithle : So if we drop Norbaz's new 15 alarm chili on it from this height...

Ketler : Well, the fall will kill the chili for sure, but I'm pretty sure this thing has acid and fire resist through the wazoo. And damage reduction.

Kithle : What about if we modify it so it does cold and electricity instead?

Ketler : So, a -15 Alarm Chili?

---

Klaz : Look et this magnificent brute! Get a close up Vrin, especially on those glowing eyes. Now, this is what we call a Rakshasa Rajah. Say it with me kiddies, you too Vrin.

Vrin : Rakshasa Rajah.

Klaz : Good! Now these thin's used to rule all of Eberron back in the dawn of time. These things are the spawn of Khyber, one of the progenator dragons. They're pretty powerful. Now this sucka is a fine specimen, mates. I'm going to try to touch him. I'm a trained expert, so don't try this at home kiddies.

Vrin : Are you insane? You're going to try to touch the damn thing? Isn't, like, essentially divine? ARE YOU CRAZY?

Klaz : Crazy like a fox. I got the picture.

Vrin : Err... What?

Klaz : Y'know, mate, the Jaela picture. I made copies. Do you really think I wouldn't? I mean, at worst, it's blackmail material on the head of a church!

Vrin : Oh... THAT picture....

Klaz : After all, this thing is a teenager...

---

Sutekh : Why does nobody like me? I'm so alone! I'm going to cry about it and listen to Dashboard Confessional!

---

Dol Dorn : Arawai, you might want to get over here...

Arawai : What?

Dol Dorn : Look

Arawai : Oh, Sutekh's back. We should go say hi. Wait... Is that the- oh hell.

---

Silence : Lisa, what do you think, Hot ot Not?

Lisa : Umm... Excuse me?

Silence : Sutekh, hot or not?

Lisa : You're kidding me. Please say you're joking.

Silence : OMG, did you see that? He, like, totally popped a little girl and her kitten in the cutest way! The blood spatter was so artful! I am so going to ask him out. Do you think he'll say yes? Now, I want your honest opinion...

---

Norbaz fits the helmet on his head, and then hefts in one hand his desiccating dagger, and in the other, a Magma Red Murlond's Spoon.

Ketler: Okay, the modified spoon should instead of making porridge, make your chili, it has all the alarm settings. You sure about this?

Norbaz: If I just use self-buffing magic and psionics, there won't be backlash for attacking it magically. All I gotta do is take my time and get into position after Klaz gets him with the picture. This should stall him long enough for Cheese's plan.

Ketler: Alright. I'll monitor the situation from here, the modifications to the helmet may not work, mixing magic and psionics in a single item may be unstable. Scratch that, it is unstable.

Norbaz: That's what I'm counting on, remember, if it comes down to it, detonate my helmet.

Ketler: I know. I still think this is a bad idea.

Norbaz: A lot of things are.

Norbaz heads in the opposite direction of the deck.

Ketler: Where are you going.

Norbaz: Just to drop off a letter.

Ketler: You don't expect to live through this.

Norbaz: I'm throwing myself in stealth melee against a god... I have no delusions of grandeur. Best case scenario as far as I see it is that I die in a way where my soul isn't eradicated.

Ketler: Alright... so potentially ceasing to exist is enough to finally get your courage to say something up.

Norbaz: Yeah, fat lot of good it does me, but maybe I just need to let something out.

The half-giant walks down the corridor towards a door he has been nervous standing before in the past. Calmly he slides an envelope under its frame before heading for the deck to join Klaz and Vrin. The letter is addressed in calligraphy "Andrea".

---

The dramatic moment has finally come. A silver glow appears on the horizon, and despite all attempts at avoidance the demon arrives on schedule. Surprisingly there isn’t much fanfare at his arrival: no line of flames marking his passage, no halo or bright hair, no music or even sound for that matter. He just floats above and to one side of the Forgotten Freedom.

The best of the crew is arrayed against him, holding whatever weapons or redshirts they have and clad in just about anything. Only five are missing: Cheese, NJ 26, and Silence, plus Klaz and Vrin who are hiding under the main hatch ready to jump out and assault the demon with the Jaela pictures. It is a tense moment, made all the more tense by the crew's recognition that this is no time for banter or verbal sparring.

The demon looks down and grins. And this is not just a villainous grin: it is the grin of the most sadistic of beings, the kind of grin that makes the zealous inquisitor’s cruel smile seem like your best friend after you've made a good joke. It's not helped by his wardrobe: it's all in silver, pants, jacket, shoes, every piece of it like what a teen might wear and yet none of it has a real cool style. His hair and face are the same way: maybe they once had some resemblance to the look that adolescents covet, but now somehow it had become corrupted by purity. No one… no one… could look upon him at not have some twinge of doubt as to whether Evil and Chaos didn't have a place in the world.

Slowly the demon lowered himself onto the deck, right next to the main hatch. Not one of the crew moved to stop him.

Klaz: Ready, mate?

Vrin never got a chance to respond.

Sutekh: No one knows what it's like to be me, man!

Suddeenly it was as if the world had no meaning. Existence itself seemed to waver and peel back, revealing the cruel nothingness that was the true state of the universe. There was no protection against it: not Norbaz's helmet, not Kithle's great mind, not Kanatash's madness, nor the terror that Sa'vor had once endured. Nothing was as powerful as hundreds of years of pent-up teenage angst focused through the lens of righteous fury. There had never been a combination like it before, and if the demon was not stopped there wouldn't be anything afterwards.

There was no one to stop him as he burned open the deck and made his way down.

Kithle: Fortunately for you people my powers allow me to even screw with my apparent alignment. Now: Behold the power of Creation! Shadows of the realm primeval, arise! Shadows that spawned the gods, arise! Shadows from the dawn of time, ARISE. Bind this foe in Primordial might and unveil the might of creation, Souls of the multiverse, arise! Trap the demon within the shadow's veil, Eldritch forces of the realm, bind this circle and overwhelm, strength of gods that we have slain bind this mark with your pain, I set my mind unto this bind, I set my heart unto this art.

Kithle is now the center of a whirling vortex from which invisible forces extend their reach searching for the former Rajah.

Cheese: There's the shield's base and binding ok the rest of you better start helping him.

Kithle, had used all the souls of the world in his portion of the shield, is able to seek out those who died as angsty teens and bind them temporarily to the spirits of the crew that had heard the emo of the demon. With the temporary shield of peer sympathy, the demon's power has an opposite effect on the crew. They find it empowers them, giving them the strength to stand and go after Sutekh.

The crew races down the corridors, with Kithle in the lead tracking. For some time they find nothing. Finally, however, Kithle senses the demon… in the same room as Cheese, NJ 26, and Silence. He races to the scene.

He finds the demon standing before NJ 26 and Cheese. There is a gleam in the demon's eye that seems reserved for Cheese alone. Yet it doesn't notice the black-gloved hands sneaking out of the darkness behind it until someone whispers "Come 'ere, hot stuff" and the demon is yanked into the room behind before the shield goes up.

Cheese turns to Kithle.

Cheese: Nice work on defusing the emo. I thought you might use the "all the souls of the multiverse" spell.

Kithle (****** off): You could have told us beforehand! I don't even remember my own teens being that bad! I mean, why didn't I read it in your mind?

Cheese: You did. You compartmentalized it. You're so good even you forget sometimes.

As the info is once again accessed by his mind, Kithle relaxes. But he stares at NJ 26.

Kithle: Um… shouldn't you be behind the shield?

Cheese: Don't be silly. Did you think a naked Jaela would stop a demon with a stick up his butt?

Kithle: But, then……… he's behind the shield—

Cheese: With Silence. Getting in touch with an emo fan-girl.

Kithle: You said we had to corrupt him.

Cheese floats up until he can look Kithle right in the eyes.

Cheese: That's what's going on in there: a combination of law and good is being treated to the most powerful force for rebellion in known existence. Why waste power trying to show the thing evil when we can get it to do the whole job for us?

Kithle considers this for a moment. He puts together all the knowledge of the teen years of the crew. Fortunately he has the wisdom not to look at it. Nor the need.

Kithle: It's not……… a very evil plan.

Cheese: What's more evil: being obviously evil, or cheating?

Just then the shield fails.

Cheese: Uh-oh.

Kithle: Didn't work?

Cheese: That's what I get for not being an über.

Kithle: Cheer up. You're not evil enough.

Cheese: I do have one consolation.

Kithle: That when the universe gets destroyed you'll finally get that rest you've been hoping for?

Cheese: You see! I don't have that kind of power!

---

Jaela: Sutekh is one of the most powerful of the Old Rajahs. The name means "Set", "Serpent", and is the reason for the host of serpentine imagery. He's the anti-Couatl.

Ketler: I thought he was the Lord of Emos.

Jaela: Well you know how these god families are... whine... "Osiris is more loved than me! Wha wha wa!" It's all very tiresome.

Ketler: Oh.

---

Appears as a burning flaming tower of flame like a hurricane made of fire)

Sutekh: Please, do you really believe I will be stopped by the pitiful attempts by you to corrupt my nature? I am purified of your pathetic concepts and hardened by the hosts of horrors that I witnessed when I was a Lord of all Depravity. I am immune to temptations of the flesh, mind, or soul. Five hundred years of immense torture where every single thought of my will was pain and insanity until it was filleted, sifted, PULPED until at last I was a god. I have witnessed whole nations flayed alive and participated in acts so utterly debased as to crack your pathetic minds wide open.

Cheeze: Time for a new plan.

Sutekh: You are insects, all of you. My time in the Flame has purified me of my innately evil nature but I have come to see in the limitless burning flame that my kind has tainted your pathetic and ant-like minds with our nature. There can be no redemption for you lesser races. The universe must be started over anew. It will not be something that you will find painless. I shall draw forth your worst memories and your deepest weaknesses, then these shall become manifest flame as I burn them from inside you.

A gigantic flaming Jackal-like mass appears in the hurricane of fire

Sutekh: I have brought forth the crusade against the lycanthropes and the burning of witches, but I would not be free if not for mortal's desire to be delivered by me unto their annihilation. They shall call my massacres the rapturous burning of the light. It is not enough that you lesser beings, so mindlessly selfish and base, die at my hands like I have done the other sinful masses. You must first be broken and then made to recant your sins. Before you die... and I can make an eon of torturing your flesh and soul for your conversion... I will make you see the error of your ways and BEG for your release from torment to serve my cause.

Ketler: He certainly is... verbose.

Sutekh: Kneel. Kneel before the will of Sutekh as I open up your mind to your childhood, Ketler, and show you that you deserved the punishments your father dealt unto you

Ketler: No... no... AHHHHHHHHH!

The inventor fell to the ground in a fetal ball screaming

Sutekh: Ha ha Ha ha ha...

Slip: KETLER!

---

The Forgotten Freedom struggles to keep ahead of the living cyclone that is Sutekh's body even as it lays a waste behind it stretching miles as it follows the Forgotten Freedom

Jarlot: You gawd-damned lousy second edition monster.

Sutekh: So the pitiful commander of this ragged collection of sinners comes forward. I should have expected you to be hiding with what I've heard of your courage, pitiful Khyberspawn.

Jarlot: Look who's talking, Jackal man. It's overpowered monsters like you that make me worry about Eberron avoiding FR overpowered monsters.

Sutkeh: Your meaningless babble doesn't amuse Sutekh. Where shall I begin tearing your mind apart to reveal the debaseness inside?

Jarlot: *starts climbing on the top of the ship's Ballista* You may be immortal but that doesn't mean we can't tear you down to your base matter and imprison the strips.

Sutekh: Shall I open your mind up to the abuse of your childhood and its powerlessness as I am doing to so many of your crew? Perhaps I shall clog your mind with the atrocities you witnessed... and participated in... during the Great War. The screams of the dying that you struggle to drown out in your restless slumber with alcohol and cheap *****s.

Marish, Tifa, Aerith: We are not cheap!

They stare at one another

Sutekh: I shall perhaps open your crew to realize the weakness of your heart and spirit and then burn every ounce of flesh from your bones before repairing it to begin again... yes, that sounds like it will work nicely

Jarlot: *takes Michael's unholy avenger as it burns in his hands* Thanks Michael.

Michael: No problem.

Michael struggled to force away the painful guilt that was overflowing his heart, his blackguard will driving away the compulsion to commit suicide even as it was staggeringly powerful inside him

Meanwhile, several redshirts burst into flame or undergo horrific tortures before their souls are ripped from their body and eaten by Sutekh as they become worshippers of it after only a little torture

Jarlot: You aren't getting my ship.

Sutekh: Prepare to know perdition.

Jarlot is launched into the air by the ballista.

Jarlot: LIMIT BREAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

The unholy avenger slashes down against the flesh of the nightmarish thing even as tears a scar across its body that burns with infernolike heat underneath it before a massive flaming hand emerges from the flames and bats Jarlot against the mast of the ship, the sound of cracking bone heard as Jarlot slids down it, unmoving.

Aerith: JARLOT!

Sutekh turned a bloodredish color in his fire like body

Sutekh: Pain shall be your only friend for a long time commander...

Sutekh turns his flame onto Aerith even as....she doesn't burn while she protects the Captain

Tifa: OOOO! THAT **** IS SCORING POINTS OFF ME! HAIL JARLOTPALLAZO!

---

Norbaz limps his way to the Captain's quarters. When he arrives in the doorway he sees the thing that was once a Rakshasa Rajah hurling fire at Aerith and Jarlot. Tifa about to go on the offensive. The others were still up on deck, preparing for counter attack. Terra, Satnak, Kilthe, Savor, and Kanatash prepping one truly horrific countermeasure. Norbaz opted to run interference. He saw Ketler on the ground in pain, and was able to get close enough to get the helmet's detonator off of him. Wasting no time, he drops his spoon and charges with his knife, expecting oblvion as he misses and his wrist is caught by the now annoyed god.

Sutekh: You dare try and backstab me, one of purity previously unbeknownst by this world?

Norbaz: Save it, I had a crapshoot of an adolescence too. Suck it up and get over yourself.

Not hesitating, Norbaz leans in close as he says this, attempts and actually succeeds in connecting with a headbutt as he activated the Detonator....

The Room burned white for a moment. Then filled with smoke. Sutekh stood laughing, barely touched amongst the smoke as the helmet fell to the ground. The cooky, nowhere to be seen.

---

Roosevelt, Cheese, and Igor sit around a table somewhere deep the the FF and play a game of cards.

Roosevelt: Sabacc!

Igor: It'th tho nithe to be able to break the ruleth when the world ith about to come to an end.

An explosion rocks the ship, and a crewmember runs down the corridor yelling "The cooky's dead! Run for your lives!" A little later Lucky comes down the corridor, head in hands trying to block out the premonitions of doom.

Cheese: I'd ask if you're okay, but since we're all about to not exist, I won't even bother.

Lucky: How can you be so calm?! We're all about to burn in the fires of our own horrible existences!

Roosevelt: You mean, worse than life?

Lucky: Huh?

Roosevelt: We all go through our worst memories constantly. It's called "life". It sucks.

Cheese: Roosevelt is one of those people who is constantly aware of how bad his life is and is happiest when it is at its worst.

Roosevelt: So what Sutekh is about to do to me is going to be the most fun I've ever had. So why worry?

Cheese: And Igor over here has never had any horrible experiences, so he's immune. In reality I'm just the product of someone's imagination created as a filler for him during the Haz'rack game and therefore am not worried about pain.

Igor: Bethideth, thomeone will thtop Thutekh.

Lucky: But I keep having premonitions of DOOM!

Igor: It'th tradithional.

Lucky considers this. As if his/her senses are suddenly attuned to a new awareness of what her/his existance truly is, the horrible feeling of doom doens't matter anymore.

Lucky: Wow, you guys are even better than John the keel.

Cheese: Pull up a chair. We've got another round of forbidden context before Sutekh reaches us. We think we can fit in some Dungeons & Dragons.

---

Even as she aids in the counter measures, Terra finds her mind assaulted by Sutekh as he scours the ship for his next victim.

Sutekh: Another pitiful being attempting to stop me. Shall I show you the horrors you have buried?

Terra: Try all you like. I stopped running from my past a long time ago.

Sutekh scours her mind for buried fears and doubts, but finds only one of any value. Not nearly enough to break her.

Sutekh: Impressive.

Terra: I do not need your compliments. You have nothing to work with. I have faced my past a hundred times over and lived to tell the tale. Your pathetic moaning only increases my resolve to see you brought low.

Sutekh: Foolish mortal, your overconfidence is staggering.

Terra: Get over yourself, you whiny, selfish, arrogant little brat! The very act of claiming 'no one understands you' reveals you as the pitiful pile of scum you really are.

Sutekh: I will see your soul torn asunder for that!

Terra: Leave my mind! I will not tolerate your presence any further!

Having found Dooj, Sutekh leaves her mind, vowing to find her in person.

Under Suhtekh's feet a rumbling crashing horror breaks through the floorboards.

Chalky: YOU ARE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FATE OF MY UNCLE GREYCLAW. THANKS TO YOUR PURGES HE DIED UPON A CRUCIFIX OF SILVER. I WILL REND YOU ASUNDER, IMMORTALITY ISN'T AN ADVANTAGE WHEN ALL YOU KNOW IS PAIN. ALL YOUR KNEECAPS ARE BELONG TO US.

A thousand flailing claws, jaws, stingers, fists, horns, and tentacles grip the demi-god and slam it around ripping him to pieces and smashing them to paste then proceeding to smear the paste as it tries to gather itself together.

Terra: Do we help?

Tifa: Can we?

Satnak: Just help with Kithle's costume.

Lisa: This would be easier if all the old pictures of pre-flame demon boy over there weren't so blurry.

Jeala: Sorry we always figured he was stuck in there.

Sa'vor: Hey this is the same shade Chalky used on my face.

Lisa: That's what happened to my extra bottle. If he wasn't saving our bacon I'd hammer him.

Tifa: Do seriously consider fighting that thing? I mean I had no idea the little shifter was that scary when he shifted are you sure he's not an uberwere.

Terra: Chalky is a changeling warshaper. He's just abusing the morphic weapon ability and a a few size boosting potions.

Kithle: Can any one see my tattoos? no? good.

Kithle stands. His Visage has been transformed into that of Sutekh before he was bound by the flame.

Kithle: Let's see if this wimp can handle a little conversation with himself.

---

Jarlot: I, however, personally have my own solution as well...

Tifa: What's that?

Jarlot: *hefts up a glowing crystal with a fireball suspended inside it*

Tifa: Spells suspended cannon balls?

Jarlot: Andrea makes them in her spare time.

Tifa: How are you going to get them on it.

Jarlot: Simple, I'm going to ram it.

Tifa: Say what?

Jarlot: Let's hope a certain conversation goes well....

Aerith: Surely they will persuade Sutekh he's wrong!

Jarlot: You know there's a slight problem with all this let's corrupt the Demon business...

Aerith: What's that?

Jarlot: Assume for instance we do in fact taint it with evil. It returns to its normal self...

Aerith: Yes?

Jarlot: ITS NORMAL SELF WANTED TO DESTROY THE WORLD. The only reason good got through is because it was an excuse to destroy the world!

Kithle: once again you misunderstand my intent I'm not going to taint him, I'm going to BREAK HIM.

Jarlot: Yeah yeah, I still support the use of extreme violence.

Kithle: I'm not disagreeing, I'm just using a different weapon.

---

Sutekh 1(post flame): *wheeze* Damned shapeshifters, when did weres get that nasty?

Sutekh 2(pre flame): About the time I had the majority of their kind purged.

Sutekh 1: What?

Sutekh 2: You heard me.

Sutekh 1: I had them purged, not you, whoever you are.

Sutekh 2: I am Sutekh the mightiest of Rajah, bow before me, imposter, and I might let you die quickly.

Sutekh 1: What is this, I am Sutekh the Purified.

Sutekh 2: What kind of title is that for a Rajah?

Sutekh 1: It's yours, I mean mine.

Sutekh 2: As if what makes you so special? huh?

Sutekh 1: I'm going to purge this world of evil and start it anew in the image of the pure flame.

Sutekh 2: Oh how original. You're going to destroy everything and rule over a world remade in your image. Guess what, that's always been the plan!!.

Sutakh 1: But this is different; I'm good.

Sutekh 2: Bah, you're going to slaughter the innocent and the guilty alike just as I will.

Sutekh 1: ... they would just grow up to be corrupted...

Sutekh 2: They would just grow up to resist me.

Sutekh 1: Maybe I could slaughter those who refuse to listen and raise the rest in pure devotion?

Sutekh 2: I'll just kill those who resist me and take the rest as my slaves.

Sutekh 1: I'll spread my word accross the globe and they will flock to my power.

Sutekh 2: I'll raise banner over the sky and all will follow out of fear of my wrath.

Sutekh 1: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm different... I'm different, I changed...

Sutekh 2: How you sound just like a wussified version of me who can't handle the truth of your ambitions. At least I'm honest about what I do to those around me. Hah Me the Demon spawn of Khyber the truthful one, and the purified champion of the flame is the deceitful coward. HAhAHAHAHAh.

Sutekh 1: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH. *sound of mind breaking* good... evil... what's the difference....(retreats to a dreamscape haunted by images of his past self)

Sutekh 2: (disembodied voice) Look in the mirror

Sutekh 1: What mirror?

Sutekh 2: (dv) the mirror of your soul

Sutekh 1: Of course this is my mind, I should see the truth here as long as I will it. I want the truth which am I.

Sutekh 2: (dv) You still think we are different?

A full length mirror appears.

Sutekh 1 looks and sees Sutekh 2

Sutekh 1: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A maze of mirrors appears and different mirrors reflect different versions of Sutekh throughout his life.

Sutekh 2: All of this is me, I am Sutekh the Couatl Slayer. You are merely a deluded fool, who fails to grasp how much trouble he is in. These pirates have had the power to kill you the whole time. They hold only because of mercy. These scum have more honor than you.

Sutekh 1: Who am I?

Sutekh : Who I am does not matter. Answers will come with the destruction of evil.

Sutekh calls a pillar of silver flame down apon Kithle, and returns to its destruction of the ship. As it is going about this a tentacle slaps it in the back of the head. Sutekh turns around and sees Volrath froating at eye level.

Sutekh : Who dares?!

Volrath : I, child of the Crawling Chaos, Volrath.

Sutekh : Your parentage means nothing. Feel the pains of your childhood and see the evil in your ways.

Volrath remains seemingly unchanged.

Sutekh : What, why are you not affected?

Volrath : Because I was never once beaten, because I deserved it, only to satisfy the hatred in your worshippers hearts! Yes, my childhood was hard and depressing! Yes, I lost family to senseless hatred! Yes, every girl I ever liked was either repulsed by me or had issues! But I got over that, with the help of this crew.

Sutekh : Shut up, shut up, shut up! Die among these "friends" of yours.

A mace appears in each of Sutekh's hands. A smirk crosses Volrath's face and he draws a dark green shortsword, covered in runes. Sutekh throws swing after swing at Volrath, who in turn parries each blow. Between parries, Volrath is only able to get in small, shallow cuts on Sutekh. After several minutes of fighting Volrath pulls out of melee and teleports a short distance away.

Sutekh : So you see that your defeat is inevitable!

Volrath : No, I'm just using an idea, from a friend of mine. Now if you're so certain of your victory, come and get me.

Volrath completely drops his guard, letting his sword arm drop limply to his side. Sutekh rushes forward. It is thrown back, by an invisible barrier. Volrath points down at a pentagram, underneath Sutekh drawn with the demon's blood, that was spilt during the battle. Volrath then pulls up his sword, and plunges the tip into his own wrist. He then starts chanting and drawing a symbol in the air with his sword. As his sword traces the rune, droplets of blood hang in the air forming the draconic symbol "oblivion". Volrath then thrusts his sword through the rune and into Sutekh's heart.

Sutekh : Nooo!!!

The demon is drawn into Volrath's sword. The sword then becomes a luminous silver, and the runes covering it become celestial.

Volrath : Hey, Lisa (chucks sword hilt first) consider it an apology.

---

Kithle: Oooooooh my head again *whump*

Death paper: Can we come out now? Feal-thas really needs to go. Dad?

Terra: He overdid it again, and yes you can come out.

Death paper: Thanks, oof, that's it, dad, you're going on a Diet.

Terra: Volrath, let's get those cuts taken care of.

Terra: I'm actually quite surprised by you, Volrath.

Volrath: Why?

Terra: I hadn't figured you had grown up so much in such a short time.

Volrath: Oh, thanks.

Terra: And I'd say that was quite the apology. I'm very proud of you.

Volrath: *blush* *grin*

---

Ketler and Allen enter Jarlot's cabin as they finish a heated discussion.

Ketler: Hey, Captain.

Jarlot: Yeah?

Ketler: Allen and I have this bet going, and we wanted to ask you something.

Jarlot: Shoot.

Allen: What was it that Bunny Rabbit was always trying to get Captain Kangaroo to say?

Jarlot: Oh, that's easy. Ping pong ball.

KAFWOOOSHHHHHHH

An untold number of ping pong balls pours out of the ceiling, burying Jalot.

Jarlot: (muffled) THE HELL?!!!

Ketler: YESSSS!!!

Allen: Those have been up there forever!!!

---

Sutkeh: I am indeed... worthless.

Captain Jarlot: And here's where I heroically crash that flying rowboat into you with all those spell-cannonballs.

(The ship speeds away even as there's a mammoth explosion of over a hundred stored spells going off at once and shaking the side of the massive fire pillar)

Captain Jarlot: See, the Problem has resolved itself.

CRACK BOOM

Ketler: If by resolved itself you mean that Sutekh is now thoroughly *****ed off in addition to being now self destructive.

Captain Jarlot: No! This is good! In his agony he's probably going to self destruct!

Ketler: Ummm...I'm no stranger to thermodynamics but...

Captain Jarlot: Thermo... what...

Ketler: *sigh* Equivalent Exchange.

Captain Jarlot: Oh! Alchemy!

Ketler: But let's assume that every single crazed homicidal fanatic whose ever worshipped the Silver Flame has been absorbed by Sutekh.

Captain Jarlot: And...

Ketler: We might need to think of a new plan before we need to send a boy named Kal-El from our world.

Aerith: Well phooey, I never got to display my immunity to burning powers because of my innate snuggly soft goodness.

---

In a place of silver and light, Norbaz finds himself floating amongst the empty husks of several redshirts and obviously dressed empty husks of Silver Flame worshippers.

Norbaz: ...Okay, did detonating the unstable magical/psionic helm kill me and get my soul enveloped into Sutekh...or did it open up a dimensional rift sending me to the universe inside him full of the spent souls he is absorbing for his cause...

The cooky pricks himself with his desiccating dagger, and watches as his finger looks like it dries and shrivels as it bleeds.

Norbaz: Yup, not dead... and I'm inside of Sutkeh... great. Not exactly a win/win scenario, the only thing keeping me alive is probably my necklace of adaptation... hmm... left the spoon on the outside, can't try and flood him with Chili... or can I.

Norbaz rolls up his sleeve to reveal a blood red tattoo of revamped Murlond's spoon adorning his upper arm. Pressing the tatoo the spoon forms in his hand.

Norbaz: Ketler, thank you for the advice... why make one when you can have two at twice the price.

Norbaz activates the spoon, and holds it far from him as a sphere of chili begins to vill the silvery and fiery void at the end of his spoon.

Norbaz: If I get out of this alive... I have to destroy that letter, otherwise I'm gonna die of embarrassment. How I understand it is that the thing that was rampaging around the ship was just a part of him, or a manifestation. Either one works. Volrath trapped that, leaving only the hurricane-like body outside the ship. I had completely forgotten about that, too. Note to self: Pay closer attention to the details.

Kithle : What!!! you're sealed, get in your sword and stay there.

Sutekh: *RALPH*

Kithle: That's just wrong.

Norbaz: It worked, Im alive, Now someone wash off this mess before I die.

Sutekh: Noooooooooooo

Lisa: Um the sword is moving.

Sutekh: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Severed of the souls providing its power, the last remnants of Sutekh can no longer resist the bindings placed upon the sword. The vortex is drawn into the blade and the sword completes its bind with a final rune.

Lisa: That's not a celestial mark.

Kithle: Indeed not, that's an old Darguuneese rune for responsibility.

Lisa: Why?

Kithle: The Darguun were the greatest of the mortal Empires. Outsiders, deities, many of the more monstrous species, and creatures like them are products of fate. Its almost impossible for those born of Pure Immortal lineage to be anything else. Mortal life brings with it a limited time to act in, but an unlimited scope. We have a unique power to be more than the roles determined for us. As such we cannot excuse our actions by claiming that we are evil- or good- inclined. We have the burden of responsibility for our actions, for the people we become.

Volrath: But it was my Binding spell.

Kithle: Where did you find it?

Volrath: It was in a book written by some wacko-sage Called Giver of berries who needs to lose 20 lpbs.

Terra: Wait a second, death paper takes dictation too?

Kithle: He is a newspaper, literally he started out as a way to keep up with the rest of the world since the normal couriers stopped doing business with us, after that things got a little out of hand. The next thing I know I'm the proud papa of a bouncing baby berserker.

Norbaz: Hello help!!! Any day now woul be nice.

Terra: Oh fine (summons a water elemental on top of Norbaz)

Norbaz: glub glublub blugug ----translating---- I hate you so much.

---

Jarlot: Well that was anti-climatic.

Ketler: Really. I thought it was really cool.

Jarlot: Well yes, the original binding was, but the whole Cyclone about to destroy the world thing and... "oops, sorry, it's in the sword."

Ketler: I think it was quite powerful. A sense of... Haha... just kidding. Like the Scream killer jumping up only to be shot again.

Jarlot: I'm just saying that it took the entire Silver Flame to bind the creature last time and now its bound again.

Ketler: They explained it. Darguun mark and all. It's actually quite mythical, really.

Jarlot: I'm just saying I could have used some more explosions, is all.

Ketler: You're just never satisfied.

Jarlot: Hey if my conversation with Khyber did nothing then...

Aerith: YAY! WE DID IT!

Tifa: BEHOLD THE GLORIES OF JARLOT!

Jarlot: Oh hell!

(runs away with Aerith on his back)

---

(Jaela, Sailor Scout thanks then Kithle)

Jaela: Wow, we're never living this down at the Silver Flame. Thank you for what you've done, the world owes you a debt of gratitude.

While everyone is busy feeling anti-climactic, Cheese walks up to Lisa.

Cheese: Let me see that sword for a minute.

Since she's not really sure what to do with the blade, Lisa decides Cheese can't do it any harm. She hands it over.

Cheese examines the blade for a minute, then plunges it into his body. There is a brief feeling of time stopping, and then Cheese is gone.

---

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