Forgotten Freedom:44
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Terra: Hey, Kithle. *tosses him a bag*
Kithle: Isn't this... gold?
Terra: Yeah...
Kithle: Okay, what are you up to? You don't just give people gold.
Terra: Consider it a consulting fee. You've helped me out enough, you deserved it. You really should think about charging for your services more often.
Kithle: Hmmm... I could use something to supplement the pittance Jarlot gives me...
Terra: You'll still have to get Jarlot to give you a pass off-ship. He's being stubborn again. The whole obsession with Aerith.
Kithle: *sigh* Can't I just go on vacation? Does relaxation have to be an arduous task every time?
Kanatash is hidding in a personal pocket dimension which he has completely sealed off.
Kanatash: Ok, deep, calming, breaths. They can't get me here, I'm completely sealed off now. I just need to figure out what to do now. I suppose I could just stay here and wait for reality to end but thats going to get old really fast. What I need is some way to find and destroy the original Crystal...
Silver and crow suddenly appear in a flash of light
Crow: It won't be quite that simple.
Kanatash: I'd ask how you got in here but when you've spent as much time around madness as I have you start to take these things for granted. Anyways, care to elaborate on that last statement?
Silver: Crystal's consciousness is no longer limited to one body. That is why you have been unable to kill her all these years. Her consiousness resides in each and every one of her thralls.
Kanatash: So you're saying to actually kill her, I need to kill every single one of her thralls?
Crow: Close, but not quite. Everytime one of her thralls is killed she transforms some poor fool out in the world into a new thrall. So you not only have to kill every single one of them, you also need to kill them all at exactly the same moment or her consciousness will jump to a new body each time you kill one.
Kanatash: That does make things rather difficult. I'm going to need some serious supplies to pull this off. (absentmindedly opens a portal out of the pocket dimension) I wonder where I should start... SWEET JAELA, WHAT HAVE I DONE!
Thousands of Crystals who had been milling around outside the portal's opening suddenly turn.
Crystal: LIKE, KANATASH! WE LIKE LOVE YOU, KANATASH!
Kanatash: ( :censored: the next several minutes of the monologe have been censored due to the fact that anyone reading them would be highly offended by their obscenity and then likely driven out of their mind. We apologize for the incovenience. :censored: )
Kanatash manages to reseal the portal before too many Crystals pour through and then mathodically slaughters each and every one of them as Silver and Crow watch.
Kanatash: (now covered in gore) What I want to know is how these things got on the ship in the first place. I've been very careful to make sure she never found out that I live here.
Crow: You can thank Jarlot for that.
Silver: Yeah, I believe it was his idea of revenge for forcing him to give you and Kithle raises. Even we're not sure how he found out about her in the first place.
Kanatash: :twitch:
Crow: (to Silver) I think we should leave now...
Silver: Yeah, this isn't going to be pretty...
Silver and Crow vanish in a flash of light. Kanatash remains standing in place for several more minutes as his face slowly contorts into a visage of rage and hatred. Suddenly something seems to snap inside him and rends apart the pocket dimension. The Crystals outside begins screaming and swarming but as soon as they come within a few feet of Kanatash they simply pop like soap bubbles. Kanatash suddenly takes off, moving faster than the speed of sound, and leaving a sonic boom which reduces the nearby Crystals into pulped meat. As he moves reality literaly ripples from his passage and his rage is literally palpable.
Kanatash: (screaming so loud that everyone on Eberron can hear him and some that aren't) [SIZE=7]JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRLLLLL OOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!![/SIZE]
( Jarlot hides under the bed in his quaters, after hearing two of the most evil beings on the ship calling for his blood, Jarlot is scared, very scared. he knows they'll find him here, but what else could he do? he's nowhere near drunk enough to jump of the ship... and even then Kanatash would find him. then he figured he could make Slip hide him. but she'd just turn him over to Sa'vor and film what happens... Jarlot had seen what Sa'vor did to those redshirts after he'd turned good and if he was lucky Sa'vor would only do that to him. but Kanatash on the other hand *shudder* he'd spent a thousand years being tortured compared to Sa'vor's mere 30. and what had happened to Kanatash had turned him insane.. Sa'vor had just got split personalities and after they'd assembled into one mind... well... let's just say they're not the kindest of people. "choose the lesser of two evils..." Jarlot had once been told. these two were as bad as each other, one is a traitor whom plots world domination as well as being perhaps the most bloodthirsty and violent person on the ship AS WELL as knowing secrets beyond mortal minds. the other was a psychopath whom has millions of ways of causing pain and enjoys mind games and psychological torture *shudder* Jarlot had seen what happened to the Thranish admiral and he'd heard his screams of pain. and he'd heard Sa'vor's screams when it was Kanatash's turn to torture him not long ago. Jarlot Shrugged, there was no way out of this... unless.... they'd fight each other to get to torture him, then one of them would be weaknened and he could defeat them with his mastery of swords... it was risky but well, it was either that or be tortured. just as jJarlot began to come out from under the bed, the door exploded and in its shadow stood Sa'vor, his eyes burning with unholy fury. at seeing his captain cowering under the bed Sa'vor smiled) Sa'vor: greetings Jarlot, I believe you know why I'm here
Jarlot: *whimper*
Sa'vor: I'm going to do such horribly evil things to you that your very mind will be shattered, the gods will cry tears of pity for your horribly eviscerated form and then... I'm going to give you the very illness that I suffer from; Phorphyric Heamophilia Mabranus. then you'll enjoy the very agony of every second of life that I enjoy. how does that sound?
Jarlot: But won't I be dead before then?
Sa'vor: (evil smile even more scary) oh no, you'll be alive through the whole thing, and guess what. I'm going to make sure you don't die, how does that sound?
Jarlot: Bad
Sa'vor: IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BAD! ( Sa'vor's voice takes on that horrible echo-ey feeling that only truly terrible beings have) *ahem* of course it's bad, it's worse that that, though, it's diabolical.
( Kanatash rockets through the floor, he then hovers above the floor) Kantash: dear captain, I've got somthing for you....
Jarlot: what is it?
Kanatash: you're going on holiday with me, won't that be nice?
Jarlot: where?
Kanatash: back to my masters ... for a thousand years, you're going to endure the greatest agony. greater than even I had
Sa'vor: *ahem*
Kanatash: yes?
Sa'vor: I believe I got here first, so that means my torture is before yours.
Kanatash: but when he's like you he'll be more resistant to the pain
Sa'vor: yes but if you went first he wouldn't be able to experience the pain I'll inflict
Kanatash: true... perhaps we can sort this out in the usual way ...
Sa'vor: so be it!
Jarlot: YES! A DUEL !
Sa'vor: don't be stupid...
Kantash: then you could finish us off ...
Sa'vor: we're having...
Kantash and Sa'vor: a Thumb war !
Jarlot: you're joking, right ?
Sa'vor: no, it's traditional
Igor: yeth, it ith, mathter Jarlot, itth traditonal for evil villainth to have thumb warth instead of duelling
Jarlot: you're messing with me
Igor: no, really
Sa'vor: we're doing nothing of the sort, oh and if your try and run. Slip will kill you before you can get out of the door
OOCharles: Just a clarification. Jarlot has some peculiarities to his personality that are sort of missed. For one, he's simply incapable of normal and rational human fear. This is the man who deliberately went into Quori just to impress a girl and utterly and completely was unphased by Xoriat's demonic nutteries (in fact, the craziness of it drove him so around the bend he went sane again). Beyond normal paladin abilities (and Holy Liberator fear immunity), beyond utter blind unwillingness to see danger, beyond any sense of self preservation is the Captain's mind numbingly idiotic belief he's the hero of this piece bound to end up with the girl and the gold in the end plus his own kingdom.
Jarlot: *looks up at the DM's description* Say WHAT?
Kanatash: I think he's really overselling you.
Jarlot: I confess that I was playing the idea the Crystals had driven me crazy as well.
Sav'or: I remind you guys I am an EVIL BEYOND TIME AND SPACE... I think I can scare a piddling Captain.
Jarlot: Alright, do your worst.
Sav'or: A thousand years of torture to start?
Jarlot: Will Tifa be there?
Sav'or: No.
Jarlot: Then pfft.
Sav'or: What do you mean pfft?
Jarlot: I mean pfft. There will be a thousand years of torture, a lot of angst and brooding, some revenge drama then ultimately you guys will end up dead.
Sav'or: Or you'll break!
Jarlot: That wouldn't suit my... my....
Igor: Idiom, sir?
Jarlot: Thank you Concord.
Sav'or: REAL LIFE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!
Jarlot: Well, thank goodness I'm an Epic Level then.
Sav'or: You are not Epic Level.
Jarlot: Yes I am, see my character sheet.
Sav'or: You stenciled that in!
Jarlot: Well it's been approved so nyah.
Sav'or: You are the worst pirate I have ever heard of!
Jarlot: But you HAVE heard of me.
Volrath gazing at Caralot. Nalfein walks up behind Volrath.
Volrath : Dddaaaa :drool:
Nalfein : Boo!
Volrath : (turning around, very startled) Don't sneak up on me, while I'm thinking.
Nalfein : "Thinking"? Sure you were.
Volrath : Okay fine maybe I was looking at her. She's just beautiful. Her face is...
Nalfein : (raises eye-brow) Face? Man, your eyes were six inches south of that.
Volrath : Oh, shutup! :mad:
Volrath stomps off. Nalfein then then sits down, where Volrath used to be, and begins sizing up another group of crystals.
After a particularly hectic night spent trying to get drunk while simultaneously avoiding the Crystals, Michael awakens in Doog's room. Still reeling from the horrendous hangover, it takes him a moment to tell what the weight on his chest is.
Michael: The hell?!
Doog: Zzzzz... *snork*... Michael...
Michael jumps up, confused and horrified. Doog sits up, holding his head.
Michael: (to himself) Okay, okay. Calm down. You just passed out. Nothing happened. Or did it? Damn hangover! I remember running away from a bunch of those creepy things that are chasing Kanatash, but...
Doog: (rubbing his temples) Oh, man, my head... *looks up* Michael? What are you doing here?
Michael: NOTHING! NOTHING HAPPENED! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! STOP ACCUSING ME!!!
To Doog's confusion, Michael runs out of the room in a panic, completely oblivious to the forms hidden in the shadows of a side corridor.
Terra: Oh, this is worth some serious blackmail points. I'll have to thank Norbaz for the amnesia dust and the image crystals.
Volrath: So, did they really...?
Terra: :devil: No. But they don't know that. Neither does anyone else who actually cares. :evillaugh
Volrath wanders back into his room laughing, because of Micheal's situation and a few too many freshly pickled "tongue of redshirt". He falls on top of his bed and drifts into sleep. He sees that he is now in a field of blinding white. In front of him floats a woman in her mid twenties. Snaking out of her back are tendrils that glow a faint blue, they such a patern to suggest angelic wings. Her look is both one of love and one of sadness.
Volrath : (tears streaming from his eyes) Mom, You're here!:weep:
Woman : I've always been with you.
Volrath : No, those horrible humans took you away.
Woman : Please forgive them. Remember what I taught you, the gods are always guiding us in the right direction.
Volrath : What did they ever do for us.
Woman : They gave us a wonderful family, remember your sister and father.
Volrath : ...
Woman : Your father will never forgive them, it is his destiny to be repeated every time reality is. But as long as you have some mortal essence in you, your fate is up to you.
Crow: Do you think it was a good idea to tell Kanatash that Jarlot let Crystal onto the ship?
Silver: :devil:
Crow: You’re right. What was I thinking? We’re random.
Silver: So what are we commentating on this time?
Crow: Actually, our space is going to be used to introduce Caralot.
Silver: And not the psycho one.
Terra and Lisa are on deck. Terra is trying to teach Lisa how to play poker and failing miserably (Lisa's game face is terrible and she can't bluff to save her life) as Michael walks up.
Michael: Hey, poker! I rule at this game! If you want I could-
At this moment a soft *ting* is heard. Michael and Lisa look at the table and see an image crystal has fallen out of Terra's sleeve.
Terra: (feigning an accident) Oops. Sorry about that. You were saying?
Michael: :eek: I-I-I... um... uh... n-nevermind...
Michael backs off and leaves in a hurry, quite obviously shaken.
Lisa: What was that all about? What's on the crystal?
Terra: :D Oh, nothing...
Caralot: :bigeyes: C'mon, PLEEEEASE!
Terra: Well, since you're not psycho-b**ch anymore and the Captain hasn't forbidden it, I guess it's okay.
Tifa: (walking by) My game's better...
Terra: *twitch*
Terra opens a pocket dimension, and one of the Demon Chocobos steps out.
Caralot: *girly squeal* :inlove: Oh, isn't he just the cutest thing! Can I pet him?
Giant Demonic Chocobo: WAAAARK!!!
Terra: That was a yes, so long as you don't try to collect any samples.
Caralot: (disappointed) Okay...
Just then, a group of six Crystals runs up, screaming about the pretty birdie.
Crystals: OMG, IT'S, LIKE, SOOOO AWESOME! I, LIKE, SO TOTALLY WANT ONE!
GDC: WAAAARK!!!!
Terra: Oh, please, by all means. Caralot, you may want to step back.
Caralot: (currently torn between cuddling the Chocobo or the Crystals) What? Why?
The Chocobo opens it's mouth and unleashes its acid breath weapon, melting the Crystals into pools of abnoxious goo.
Crystals: ISN'T IT JUST THE COOLEST BIRDIE EVER!!! HE'S, LIKE, KILLING US!!! IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS!!!
Caralot: NNOOOOOOO!!!!!! :weep:
Terra: Oh, come on! How many gazillion of those things are there? Don't you have one of your own, even?
Caralot: :weep:
A beach on Argonessen.
Kithle - (relaxing on a lounge chair using skulls with umbrellas in them to drink lemonade) this is the life, I need to set up a house here. Finally get that statue on display and out of my closet where I stub something on it every day before breakfast.
Crow: It's way too tempting.
Silver: But Kithle seriously deserves to relax on his vacation.
Crow: Yeah. I doubt any horrors released from Argonessen would garner a place in the history books around here.
Silver: Can you think of anything other than a dragon?
Crow: A swarm of hoard beetles.
Silver: Hoard beetles?
Crow: You know, those scarabs that look like gold coins and clean dragons' scales because they can't eat through the tough hide but can burrow into a humanoid body and eat their way through.
Silver: We are way too good at this.
Crow: Well I'm the god of death on another world. I have to know all the myriad ways there are to die.
Silver: Speaking of death, has Andrea given any indication that she knows what was in the letter from Norbaz.
Crow: I don't think so.
Silver: You know, it's been bugging me, but why did Andrea turn her cat neko?
Crow: I don't know, but we can check. It's on page number 42.
Silver: Hmm, doesn't say.
Crow: What were you thinking?
Silver: Well, you know how she reacts to Terra…
Crow: I doubt Andrea is that perverted. Contrary to popular stereotype, it's not a class feature of necromancers. Trust me, I grant spells.
Silver: And she was the only one to keep listening when Caralot described her male "enhancement".
Crow: You gods of life are always thinking about :censored:.
Satnak - Kithle left me with explicit instructions to maul anyone who messed with Argonessen while he's there.
Silver - when did she get sneaky?
Crow - Why do you listen to him? could the big bad Satnak have a crush?
Satnak - HOhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah (grabs bird by neck) oh that's so funny I might just you live. Kithle isn't exactly the worst example of a male I've ever seen but frankly he's too creepy, and plus I need a mate who can survive a solid thrashing. I kick in my sleep. I listen because he knows what he's doing, and because its either follow him or Jarlot on this tub and I have no interest in leadership. (grip tightens)
Crow - Squar... (grip tightens again)
Silver - okay ma'am just put my friend down and we'll cause mayhem elsewhere... plz
Satnak - Okay, bye (kicks silver in balls and leaves)
Silver - whimper
Crow - it's not like you lost anything that you can't grow back
Silver - that's what scares me; if I grow it back she can kick it again
Crow: Do you think she knows that in addition to not feeling pain we don't even exist?
Silver: Or that, as a female, I don't have anything remotely painful to kick.
Crow: We'd already decided not to mess with Kithle.
Silver: We get no love.
Crow: Well we do get to serve as convenient explainers of vital plot points.
Silver: By the way, did you have to ask that "Does wittle Satnak have a crush?" thing?
Crow: :evillaugh
Silver: One of these days I'm going to try and figure out why we ask those question when we always know the answer.
Crow: It's not even like I'm a god of love.
Silver: That's my department.
Crow: Besides, if anyone is going to go after Kithle it's going to be Caralot.
Silver: That was forbidden in the rules.
Crow: Darn.
Silver: Along with :behold:, :turkey:, and :coolcthul.
5339: Caralot is not allowed to collect "samples" from any member of the beholder family. 5340: Because I keep having nightmares. 5341: Caralot is not allowed to collect "samples" from the demon chochobos. 5342: Caralot is not allowed to collect "samples" from……… GAAAAARRGH!
Jarlot: I thought you were into nonviolence.
Cool Cthulhu Caralot and I have a special understanding.
Jarlot: Okay, OKAY!
5342 (revised): Caralot is not allowed to tell anyone ANYTHING about what she does with :coolcthul. 5343: Caralot is not allowed to tell anymore stories about Jaela.
Silver: What exactly did you do to Jaela?
Crow: :schemes:
Doog walks down the hall, still unable to figure out what happened last night. Michael rounds the corner and stops when he sees Doog. After a long silence...
Michael: (nods his head) Doog.
Doog: (likewise) Michael.
After a few more akward moments, Michael turns to head back, but Doog calls after him.
Doog: Michael, wait! I've been thinking about last night, and-
Michael: Nothing happened, okay! We just... took a nap!
Doog: Then that was the best nap I've ever had! Didn't you like it, too?
Michael: No! Why would I?!
Doog: C'mon, admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
Michael: (trying to look innocent) I... don't know what you're talking about...
Doog: *gasp* See, you did like it!
Michael: All right, all right! That was the best nap I ever had, okay!
Doog: I wanna do it again!
Michael: No!
Doog: (big teary anime eyes)
Michael: :gah: FOR THE LOVE OF KHYBER, NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!
Crow: :noway: Hey, no one's posting.
Silver: Are you sure you're using the right smiley?
Crow: There is no :lookabove: smilely. The closest thing is the lol.
Silver: And what we're talking about today isn't funny.
Crow: When is it ever not funny?
Silver: Michael and Doog. This is a serious issue.
Crow: The question is why Doog—mister self-proclaimed "trouser titan"—
Aljihaz: Doog is the trouser titan? That fiend!
Silver: Calm down, Aljihaz. Doog isn't the trouser titan.
Crow: Silver, it's wrong to lie. :angelhide
Silver: Since when have we ever done anything proactive.
Crow: Yeah. I finish that thought and who knows what'll come after us.
Aljihaz: Wait. I must know what the truth is. The trouser titan is responsible for the rapid expanding combustion of multiple post-birth beings.
Silver: :looloo: You've been hanging out with Reman, haven't you?
Crow: [Gratuitous Explanitor Note: Reman is the ship's lawyer.] And don't you think :uh-huh: would have been a better smiley to use.
Silver: Well what about when you used :schemes:?
Crow: I thought it looked better than :devil:.
Aljihaz: I must know where the trouser titan is!
Silver: Well what about :evillaugh:?
Crow: :devil: shows that what you are saying is intended as an evil joke. :evillaugh: shows that you have a future evil intent. In another vein, why does everyone use :coolcthul istead of just saying the thing's name?
Silver: You know, we could extend that to other characters.
Crow: Like?
Silver: Well Crystal would be :invasion:. Aerith would be :cloud9:…
Aljihaz: :waits:
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