Editing Battle of the Bulge

The party was on their way up The Penitent, completely ignoring all the mortals fleeing in abject terror and/or not able to keep up with Rover (A Tyrant Lizard is a surprisingly fast hunk of flesh), when they noticed there was a group of five people actually catching up to them as they rounded the...well, round. 


== Enemies ==

5 Terrestrial Exalted

-One in Blue Jade with axe

-One in White Jade with a gore maul

-One in Red Jade with sword and shield

-One with Green Jade and a power bow

-One unarmed and unarmored

(What are these guys, the Power Rangers?  Jeez.)


== Join ==

Sirokos saw an opportunity to display his athletic skill and his tendency to throw caution to the wind.  He rolled down Rover's swaying tail to draw his weapons in the midst of the Terrestrial Exalted and shouted "Drop your weapons!  You're outnumbered!".  This was of course before Feyth saw an opportunity to further distance himself from the battle by untying his tether to Rover when Rover spun about, thus using momentum to continue further up into the air, well out of reach of the hostilities.  Rover's turning was brought about by Arisa urging him to do so, in order to use the (understandably) formidable sight of a 75-foot long Tyrant Lizard to strike fear into the followers. Ebon made use of the Mental Invisibility Technique to hide from the Terrestrials, and Durricore simply joined (in his own damn time).


== Round One ==

Sirokos is apparently crazy, and decided to attack the archer.  He is crazy because he did this not, of course, by simply shooting at the archer, but instead by using a charm to extend his range and -banking his shot off the other Terrestrials plate armor-.  Thanks to invoking the power of Justice (not Vengance; that's his other gun) the archer (whose name was, oddly, Jake.  I assume this is short for Jacqueline, or...Jakelina.  Or something.)  was reduced to ash.

Next was Rover's turn to fight!  Using his fantastic aiming ability (read: looking reaaaaaaaal close) he attempted to squish the Terrestrials while carefully making sure that Sirokos was between his toes, not under them.  The unarmed Terrestrial (a Water Aspect, apparently) simply defended against the MASSIVE FOOT OF A TYRANT LIZARD.  (Fucking Terrestrials)

Since the Terrestrial did not die, this perturbed Arisa, who decided to use her combo: The Unavoidable Penetration!  She raised her mighty lance, took aim at the Terrestrial, and...he used the Bottomless Depths Defense again (sonofabitch).

Sirokos (Seriously?  Fast bastard.) decided that the monk was not the best target, thanks to his habit of dodging (like the mo-fo he is) and instead went after the axe-wielder.  Or, more specifically, his axes.  In response, he felt it may be prudent to throw the hatchet first.  This, however, failed to happen and he received a face full of fire.  Still standing, though, he throws his other hatchet around (yes, around) the highwayman's head.  Being ever foolhardy and eager to rush into danger, Sirokos decided to roll between the Terrestrial's legs.  This failed badly, and he was forced to use the Seven Shadows Evasion in order to not die horribly.

Finally, Durricore got the chance to act!  After taking his stance and activating Adamantine Fists, he felt like taking all four living Terrestrials on at once, using <insert combo name here>.  Apparently, his BioMagitech arm has a hand with fingers capable of firing off in different directions and latching onto different targets.  Using this, he grappled ALL FOUR of the remaining Terrestrials in an attempt to send them smashing rather hard together (physics?  Nope.  No physics here.) and then flying far apart.  White was knocked (with terminal velocity, into The Penitant) unconscious, Red parried, Blue got a good punch in his (halfway melted) jaw (which sent the jaw flying) and died, and the (gorram) unarmed Terrestrial was punched OFF THE PENITENT.  There was much rejoicing.  (yay.)
Sadly, at the same time as they were getting beaten to a pulp, the Terrestrials attempted to beat a good bit of hell out of Sirokos.  White swung at and missed the highwayman thanks to a rather well-judged legsweep.  The monk tried and failed to punch the lungs out of him.  Red also sent his sword cleaving through a bunch of nothing.  Altogether, a rather pitiful (final, for some) showing for our opponents.


== Round Two ==

This left a single opponent standing (on The Penitent, at least).  However, Rover decided that the Red looked just oh-so-tasty, and clawed at the ground as his cavernous maw came down.  However, his aim was a bit off, and Red was able to parry Rover's (huge fucking) mouth.

Red now decided that the crazy cybernetic punchy man (read: Durricore) was now a bit more of a threat, and thus should be attacked.  He began a rather impressive set of slashes and bashes, but this was cut short by Durricore effectively giving him the hand with the Immortal Blade Deflecting Palm.

Arisa saw a dandy opportunity to stabify Red, and sent her lance (pointy end first, of course) charging toward him.  This was soon followed by extracting the point of her lance from his back, much to his chagrin.  (The chagrin is, of course, from the fact that he was hit.  The removal was a moot point.)

Next up was Sirokos, who decided that something absolutely -had- to be done about Red's rad armpit stench.  Of course, this meant the armpit itself had to be cleansed with fire from one of his guns.    Unfortunately, Red was able to lower his shield enough to absorb the brunt of the attack.
Durricore took this opportunity to simply grab (yes grab) the living crap out of (what remained of) Red.  This allowed him to hold Red aloft as a sacrifice to the Mountain That Devours (Rover).

Rover trounced in like a puppy, with a gleeful look on his frightening maw that said rather simply "Dinner!".  Red was, thus, summarily eaten.  His short daiklave clattered to the ground.  Along with his ankle.

The battle was now over, with the monk probably alive and very wounded somwhere far below, and White unconscious.