Editing Shadows Hills Polly Diary (section)

==August 4th==

Fighting it hasn't worked, and I think that it won't, and that's just because it's me.

It reminds me of the stories that I heard from people who can't accept that they're gay, actually-- the fight to control urges that are perfectly natural to you.

I think that I just have to... accept this.  I can pick what that means, if I accept it.

So, I'm wearing white.  And do you know what?  It ''helps.'' A ''lot.''  

Sometimes, I give people just a little touch of sunstroke.  It's mean, and I ought to feel worse about it than I do, but it does help.  

If I accept it, it's easier to not take it too far.  

Now I can go back to worrying about everything else...  I hope.  I think I can get through this, but it's not easy to find the balance between Polly and Pscipolnitsa.