Editing Shadows Hills Polly Diary (section)

==August 7th==

I don't know if today was a win or a loss.  

Ran into Carrie.  She kept giving me shit, and wouldn't stop.  Not even when she was ready to pass out from sunstroke... I don't want to write down what she said, but it made me very, very upset.

I realized that I was seriously considering killing her.
 
The worst part, I think, was realizing how ''easy'' it would be.  I could wait until she was all alone, descend in a cloud of dust, and with one slash, no more hateful Carrie, her head tumbling down the street... no one would know that it was me, and they'd never find the murder weapon.

I chose not to.  It was an active choice, not a default choice, not a distinctive choice.  It was skipping desert.

I feel stronger for it, because ''I could have.''  And ''I would have gotten away with it.''  Fear of retribution didn't enter into it at all.

But... it was skipping desert.  Not "I can't do that because it's wrong."

(Also, I did use the scythe to cut her car's engine block in half, but I decided that she needed more exercise anyway.  I did it the way I could have murdered her, but car, not person. Okay, I'm not that good a person these days... but I did skip desert, at least.)