Editing Morgrave High: Cultural Details (section)

==Courtship==
Eladrin have a somewhat hybrid approach to romantic affairs.  A "marriage" between two fey is referred to as a "lifebond," and shares most features with its human counterpart; the two partners cooperate to provide companionship to each other, aid in the advancement of each other's life goals, and to raise any children.  However, the Lifebond relationship is not strictly monogamous; many eladrin take mates even after forming a lifebond, generally for the specific purpose of producing offspring when that is otherwise impossible or undesirable, but occasionally just for the purpose of building outside bonds or relationships.  A mate is very much not a lifebond partner, however; the sharing of life that the latter implies is strictly absent from the former, which is more concerned with immediate desires or needs; while taking a mate is no mark upon one's lifebond relationship, behaving towards that person the same way one would to her lifebond partner would be the equivalent of adultery.

Courtship for the formation of a lifebond is a polyamorous affair; most eladrin take multiple suitors, accepting or seeking more or discarding them as their respective whims dictate.  It is rare for courtships between eladrin to last less than a decade, and anything below two is still modestly scandalous.  An eladrin's parents have no "approval" right in choice of partner, but can, and generally do, direct potential suitors at their children.

The formal courtship process of the eladrin is "codified" in a formal dance called ''Elphair Kal Dashirra'', The Lovers' Dance.  Rather than a set progression of steps, it is instead a set of responses to the other person's behavior, which essentially represents a myriad of possible courtship states.  Persons engaged in courtship use the various steps and states of the dance to describe how they stand relative to each other in terms of their emotional closeness.  Some of these states include:

* '''Kanshirr:'''  Person seeking to initiate a courtship. The kanshirr is the person who first develops interest in the other party; he or she is the one who proposes that they begin courting. 
* '''Shirran:''' The target of those affections. The shirran is the person whom the kanshirr wishes to begin courting. His or her response to those affections is the determining factor as to whether or not a courtship is begun, although of course a persistent kanshirr may maintain that state in the absence of acceptance until he or she chooses to give up. The specifics of the shirran's response may result in other states as well, but the most important one is acceptance.
* '''Salshirr:''' Welcome suitor. When the shirran agrees to initiate courtship, the kanshirr becomes a salshirr, because that person's affections are welcomed. The shirran generally also becomes a salshirr, because obviously the original kanshirr also welcomes the attentions or that person wouldn't have attempted to begin courting in the first place (though it is also possible for the shirran to move to a different state depending on the specifics of the response and the circumstances)
* '''Aishirr:''' Favored suitor. Given that most eladrin courtships are polyamorous, it is often necessary to designate how a given suitor stands, both relative to the other suitors and the person in question. An aishirr is a suitor who enjoys particular favor over any others, and is also an indication that the suitor is considered a serious potential candidate for eventual formation of a lifebond, rather than a casual courtship partner. Designation as an aishirr is thus a sign of particular interest on the part of his or her counterpart, although it lacks the finality of the next entry. It is roughly like designating the person as a "steady" in terms of its general expression of romantic interest; not quite a fiance, but more than just a boyfriend/girlfriend.
* '''Dashirr:''' Beloved. Your dashirr is the person you either intend to form, or already have formed, a lifebond with. Note however that the length of time between designation by both parties of each other as dashirr and the actual formation of the bond may be quite long, and it is possible to be pushed out from this state, of course. It does, however, essentially represent a declaration of love and serious intentions towards the other party.