Editing Navero Ep1 (section)

===THE COLLECTED FUMBLES OF NAVERO===

Actually, Navero fumbled far to often for there to be any sort of
comprehensive list of all the times he flubbed it.  It's not that Navero had
poor ability scores - they're quite good, actually - but somehow he managed
to fumble to-hit rolls and saving throws more often than the rest of the
party combined.  This was always a source of great confusion to him.  I did
very well when rolling for Kortul, so it obviously wasn't ME.  As a result,
failed rolls of any sort came to be almost synonymous with poor Nav; even
when he succeeded, it was usually a mixed blessing.  I think that Navero's
few critical hits should illustrate what I mean.

''(A fight with a lot of gnolls in a big dungeon.)''

'''Navero''': "Go away you evil nasty smelly icky things!" ''(Fumbles.)''

'''Game M''': ''(roll roll...) Navero, roll to hit yourself.''

Navero's first ever critical hit.

'''Game M''': ''OK...  you hit yourself in the, um...''

'''Navero''': ''Let me guess.  The groin.''

'''Game M''': ''Yes.  For x2 damage.''

'''Navero''': ''(Drops with a shriek and hears no more.  The gnolls don't attack him, as they are too busy laughing.  Serga came over and killed them.)''

'''Serga''': "Are you alright, priest-friend?"

'''Navero''': "eep!"

'''Serga''': "Maybe you should stay out of the front lines."

'''Dania''': "Well, we keep telling him that.  You OK, Nav?"

'''Topash''': "Ah, Navero.  He of the Bulging Backpack, with his mighty mace of
self-destruction.  I feel ever so secure with him around.  ''(Breaks into song.)''  A grazing mace, how high the shriek..."

''(Much later.  Navero has been drained by a vampire, but a spreading empire has declared his religion illegal, and he must seek a restoration outside of the faith.  The only ones available are some priests of Poseidon, who charge a bundle.)''

'''Priest''': "Well, how do you feel?  Do you feel the power of the god flowing
through your every fiber?"

'''Navero''': "I feel seasick..."

'''Game M''': ''Navero, roll less than your constitution on a d20 to avoid nausea.''

'''Navero''': ''(Rolls a 20, of course.)''

'''Game M''': ''Navero, roll to hit the high priest of Poseidon.''

Navero's second ever critical hit.

'''Game M''': ''Oh, my...  Well...''

'''Dania''': ''Bazooka-barf!''

'''Topash''': ''Right into his face!''

'''Game M''': ''Yep.  Then he turns to his assistant and throws up on him.  The assistant then looses it, and they both collapse very sick.''

'''Navero''': "ooog..." ''(Wobbles out.)''

Navero's third (and last) critical hit was not nearly so interesting;
he hit an Umber Hulk in the arm and crippled the limb.  Of course, he was 8th
level, and if your character doesn't begin to show ''some'' signs of competence
by that point...