Editing The London Trumpet - Victorian Broadsheets (section)

===Friday, September 15, 1888===
[[Image:The-London-Trumpet-ISSUE-3 a.gif|thumb|XLII, Vol. 1, Issue #14 (3) - '''COVER''' - Friday, September 15, 1888]]
[[Image:The-London-Trumpet-ISSUE-3 b.gif|thumb|XLII, Vol. 1, Issue #14 (3)  - '''REVERSE''' - Friday, September 15, 1888]]
: XLII, Vol. 1, #14 (3):  ''In this week's paper...''
::* HEADLINE ARTICLE:    <br> ''''' AVENGERS ASSEMBLED - But not soon enough? '''''  ''--(by Jameson)''
::: The glourious Osborne House, so many times this editor has not been invited for tea with the Queen… And never he will again it seems. Better late than never would not be a good phrase to use with the newly assembled Men of Renown this autumn. Formed at the Queen’s descression by Prime Minister Lord Henry-Peter Gyrich, these men, woman and machine (scandalous!) arrived hours late to save the Queen’s summer cottage weeks ago and as yet have done nothing, known to this editor to retake the land that seems to be being “invaded” by smoldering “Magma-Men”.  The channel continues to boil and good citizens continue to return from the Isle of Wight with no end in sight to the destruction of said beasties. God save the Queen? I say God save our wasted tax pounds…  
::* ARTICLE:    <br> ''''' H.G. Wells spins latest yarn - Mysterious adventurer discovers immortals on Jovian Moon '''''  ''--(by Berino)''
::: After speaking of the fantastic tales of time travel and invisibility, the noted novelist states that he is writing his latest opus about another dream inspired group of heroes. The next fictional set of space adventures will be taking place on the moon of Titan. Descriptions of what his stories will be about are usually quite rare but Herbert Wells was kind enough to give his fans these words of what to expect "Titan is a fantastic world ruled by all the ancient human-like gods of Mythology. Circe, Eros, Thanatos, and other beings that we only talk about in classical education. They live bored and decadent lives as they are controlled by an all powerful machine that governs their every action. Even they are subject to more powerful forces though. The book will chronicle the scientist hero witnessing the casting out of one of them for his murderous devotion to Death itself!" Brrrrrr! Spooky Herbert! This reporter will stick with his Dickens, thank you very much. 
::* ARTICLE:    <br> ''''' Weird West comes to London - Jonathan Blaze's Traveling Spook and Cowboy show arrives tomorrow! '''''  ''--(by Barney)''
::: The Weird West show is something that we Londoners should probably be able to do without. Bad enough that we had to put up with Buffalo Bill's ridiculous visit, but now we have to deal with his supernatural thriller rip off. Jonathan Blaze, an unsuccessful Colonial cowboy, created the show some four years ago. Its purpose is to entertain (and I use the term loosely) onlookers with stories that he claims were told to him by Indians. The chief attraction is Jonathan Blaze's 'Phantom Rider' that is little more than a scare tale retelling of Washington Irving's Sleepy Hollow Headless Horseman transplanted to a Western setting.  <br>  Other attractions are of similar lack in character with the gypsy fortune teller Victoria Montessi (a tart whose as much gypsy as I'm Prince Albert), Daniel Ketch's questionable riding act through fire rings (rumors attest that he is one of Blaze's wild oats to explain how he got this job), and Hannibal King whom does the worst faux Dracula impression I've ever seen. Londoners can learn to spend their money on something more entertaining. 
::* ARTICLE:    <br> ''''' The Crook and the Princess! - Clint Barton escorts Romanov niece to State Function '''''  ''--(by Leeds)''
::: Rough and tumble Australian Clint Barton is no stranger to trouble. Since his arrival in London, the man has been in three altercations with his fists and been seen in the company of some of London's finest young ladies. His original traveling companion in fellow Australian Barbara Morse has not been seen with him since his arrival and it seems he may have offended her. Nevertheless, given who he's traveling with now, it’s obvious he should be glad of her letting him stray. Natasha Romanova, Russia's finest flower, is visiting from her native land this month and has chosen a most unusual companion for the regalia. I say, good for you Mister Barton! 
::* ARTICLE:    <br> ''''' SCIENCE MUSEUM SNEAK PEAK! - Kravinoff’s gift to London’s premier Science Museum '''''  ''--(by Berino )''
::: The exhibition, said to house mammals from the past previously unseen, opens next month. A reception and special 'sneak peak' into the species from history will be given to our Prussian Ambassador this next Saturday evening.  For guest reservations by special invitation only please contact the Science Museum. 
::* ARTICLE:    <br> ''''' WILD MAN OF CANADA VISITS LONDON - Professor James Hudson and wife showing off 'Living Neanderthal' Find '''''  ''--(by Urich)''
::: London's Natural History museum is in for a shock according to sources. Canadian James Hudson and his wife have long maintained that Neanderthal man might still be alive on the planet Earth in remote areas. Dismissed as a crackpot, the anthropologist claims he and his wife Heather managed to stumble on proof quite by accident.  <br>  According to reports, the 'Wolverine of the Wild' has been living with no tools and only his hunting skills like early man from possible birth. Wild rumors abound about what the living Neanderthal possesses in skill but some suggest he has claws like an animal and amazing physical endurance. Mrs. Hudson has affectionately named the caveman 'Logan' after her late father. 
::* ARTICLE:    <br> ''''' COAL FIRE THREATENS EAST END! - The Isle of Dogs and the Limehouse nearly erupt '''''  ''--(by Berino)''
::: Poor working conditions and firebugs threaten the East End as fires continue to be an industrial hazard within the lower-end factories, sweat-shops and pederian living facilities.  Opium is said to be a contributor to the problems as drug-fiends populate the open factories by night looking for a warm corner to drift away into. Unfortunately these same madmen have found themselves caught in the blazes on more than one occasion. East End facilitates no mobile fire fighting brigades, so fires go unchecked until local communities find a way to relieve the burning buildings most commonly by fire-breaks created by dynamiting unharmed buildings. Many West End men of industry are being affected by the troubles in the dingy districts, either directly or indirectly.  Whatever the causes petitions have been made to Parliament for watch guards to patrol the streets of the red-light districts.  Unfortunately I wouldn't hold your breath boys... 
::* ARTICLE:    <br> ''''' CURSE OF KING TUT STRIKES AGAIN! - The 'Wrath of Khonshu' dismissed by accident survivor '''''  ''--(by Urich)''
::: Noted Archaeologist and veteran of her Majesty's Army, Professor Marcus Spector is one of the few survivors of Howard Carter's expedition into the tomb of King Rama-Tut. Today, a group of wild dogs broke into the home of the man and severely mauled three guests before the Professor dispatched them with an antique silver blade that was in his possession. The young Professor was showing off his latest acquisition to his extensive Egyptian artifacts collection in a statue of the legendary figure of Khonshu.   <br>  The Professor had the unusual comment "I am fully prepared to tip the scales of Khat in the favor of the side of good. Whether the Anubians attempt to drag my guests to Hell or not."  <br>  The lovable eccentric is known for his many theories on Egyptian sacrificial practices, not the least of which is the concept of holy assassins that stalked enemies of Pharaoh. Frankly, this reporter isn't so quick to dismiss such strange events as some. Either that or Mark left too much raw fresh out! 
::* ARTICLE:    <br> ''''' DRUNKEN BRAWL DISRUPTS THEATER SHOWING - Continued loutish behavior of London stage star delays showing '''''  ''--(by Urich)''
::: Veteran leading man Simon Williams once more caused uproar in the London art scene when he broke character during a performance to punch one of the audiences in the nose. Unusual behavior even for the man who’s Heathcliffe has been dwarfed by his off-stage exploits, it has been reported that the man in the audience was at the side of Simon's paramour Carol Danvers.  <br>  Despite Mister William's noted physique, the injured party was said to have given as good as he got. This is due to the fact that the party was none other than visiting Australian rancher Clinton Barton. Having just won several athletics competitions the day before including the Welsh national archery tournament.  <br>  When asked of the incident, the Colonial responded "Eh. The pretty boy 'as some nerve. The Lady accepted my invitation while he was off romancin' his costars. He'll think twice about attacking me. Man wouldn't last an hour on a hunt with the 'Borginees." 




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