Editing Last Voyage of Delilah, Episode 206: Jail/Break (section)

====~Valentine~====

Valentine might be drunk(ish) but he manages to keep himself on mission. Of course, the Deputy on night shift has to frisk him for weapons. Valentine retains just enough of his sleight of hand skills to keep the drugs he's smuggling to the prisoner from being discovered. Snarky banter helps misdirect the Deputy …<br><br>

'''Valentine:''' Hey, hey! If you want ''that'', you have to pay for it. <br><br>

Did Valentine just do a little bump and grind? <br><br>

'''Valentine:''' Well …Maybe not that much.<br>
'''Deputy:''' Sleep it off!<br><br>

Squicked, the Deputy throws Valentine in the cell next to Mary Crow Dog's. She's sitting on her bunk on the other side of the bars. She's not old as Valentine originally thought but is an attractive woman in her thirties with long chocolate- and caramel-colored hair and an Asian cast to her features and skin. Valentine doesn't have much time to note more than that before he starts retching in a bucket in the corner of his cell. He's not ''entirely'' acting—between the adrenaline of the fight and the amount of alcohol he's drunk, he's feeling a little queasy. As he heaves, he hears the Deputy talk to the woman in the cell next to his.<br><br>

'''Deputy:''' So … you know this is your last night alive, probably. You have any second thoughts to a final go 'round?<br>
'''Mary Crow Dog:''' (dry) Could you add a couple of lashes to the sentence?<br><br>

Valentine rather likes her sass. He keeps his head in the bucket and heaves some more, waiting for the Deputy to leave.<br><br>

'''Deputy:''' It's your funeral.<br><br>

The Deputy makes a great show of jingling the keys as he locks Valentine in and walks out. Valentine gives a couple heaves before straightening up and looks at Mary Crow Dog. She looks right back at him and none too friendly-like, neither.<br><br>

'''Valentine:''' (quietly) I'm assuming that unless they're bringing someone else in for a hundred lashes that you're Mary Crow Dog. (off her glower) Cuz … I'm lookin' to get you out.<br>
'''Mary Crow Dog:''' (narrowly) Who sent you?<br>
'''Valentine:''' We got some need to talk to your people ''and'' to be honest, it's whole levels of ''wrong'' to be lashing somebody a hundred times for theft.<br>
'''Mary Crow Dog:''' To be entirely honest, theft wasn't my … mission.<br>
'''Valentine:''' To be honest with you, it still it ain't right lashin' somebody a hundred times. If you're gonna kill 'em, just kill 'em. But either way, if you're interested in getting' out. I'm lookin' to help you get out.<br>
'''Mary Crow Dog:''' It's possible that the vid of me gettin' lashed a hundred times may do much good. <br>
'''Valentine:''' (slowly) …. ''Might''. But it might not. That's assuming it gets out. Assuming the vid doesn't get suppressed and I'll be honest with you on that, too. I find that nine times out of ten—<br>
'''Mary Crow Dog:''' You can't stop the signal.<br>
'''Valentine:''' Nine times out of ten, I'd rather have a live person on my side than a dead martyr.<br><br>

And he's nailed it. She does have that fatalistic martyr's gleam in her eye.<br><br>

'''Valentine:''' It might work if you—<br>
'''Mary Crow Dog:''' If you weren't slurring every other word, I might have more confidence in you.<br>
'''Valentine:''' Sorry. I had to sell it. I don't drink a lot. So I probably drank a little too much. M'name's Val. Valentine Quick. And … like I said, if you're willin', I think I can get you out of here. But it's gonna require a bit of play actin' from you. And a willingness to … take what's in here.<br><br>

He pulls the tiny square of folded paper he's managed to conceal from the Deputy and holds it between his fingertips through the bars. Mary Crow Dog looks at it suspiciously and makes no move to take it.<br><br>

'''Mary Crow Dog:''' What's in it? <br>
'''Valentine:''' It's a syringe. (Off her look) Well … it looks like a syringe in a certain light. <br><br>

That's cuz he's drunk. Tian's actually packed a pill in there. Valentine can tell he's got to sell it. Being drunk makes it hard but he tries anyway. He starts over.<br><br>

'''Valentine:''' My doctor … Her son. His life's potentially at risk for this. Your folks are potentially the key to … getting him out. But I treat my crew like family. And I'm going to help her do it. And I need you to come along with me on this.<br>
'''Mary Crow Dog:''' (flinty) Explain to me what you mean. How can I help your doctor's son? How does this … (takes the paper packet) … help your doctor's son?<br><br>

How indeed? Mary Crow Dog is an insurgent against the government. How sympathetic will she be if Valentine tells her that Tian's son is Alliance Navy? That he's special ops? He's good at reading people and good at handling them. He tries sussing it out from her position. If this were one of her own people, how far would she go to save one of her own? Valentine decides that honesty would serve best. <br><br>

'''Valentine:''' He got himself captured behind enemy lines, so to speak.<br>
'''Mary Crow Dog:''' Enemy of who?<br>
'''Valentine:''' Well, that's the question, isn't it? He's Alliance. The question of what they'd consider the enemy is another story. What ''we'' consider to be the enemy is a completely different affair.<br>
'''Mary Crow Dog:''' Prisoner exchange?<br>
'''Valentine:''' Yeah. Kinda-sorta. … (reconsiders) … No, no. This … We're … I'm setting you free because—Poco forgive me—because it's the right thing to do. With the idea that … that … if I do what's right and get you out of this hundred lashes, that you might be willing to … to … help us out on the other side. No direct … I'm not … Not making a direct ask.<br><br>

Mary Crow Dog eases back in her bunk and eyes him.<br><br> 

'''Mary Crow Dog:''' If you were planning to kidnap me from the Sheriff to use me as a bargaining chip, that's probably the sort of thing you would say.<br>
'''Valentine:''' I would be. But … But I'm also, if you haven't noticed, fairly drunk. And that kind of Level Two thinking? … (holds his hand out face down) … I'm thinking more like Level  … (sinks hand) … Level Point-Five, right now. All I can tell you is that … It's not how I do business.<br>
'''Mary Crow Dog:''' All right … (gusts sigh) … So, I should take this now?<br><br>

She holds up the folded paper.<br><br>

'''Valentine:''' Yup. It's going to produce some relatively harmless but … gaudy … symptoms. Um … and … then I'm gonna be yellin' out that you are … sick with some sorta plague that I'm going to think the name of in a couple'a seconds. And … our doctor's gonna come in and get you quarantined and we're gonna get you out of this.<br><br>

He taps the bars of her cell for emphasis. <br><br>
 
'''Mary Crow Dog:''' All right.<br><br>

She rises and does a few graceful stretches, then swallows the pill dry. She manages to choke it down. Tian chose a drug to produce hives, cause the small capillaries on the surface of the eyes to spot-hemorrhage, and make the patient nauseous and have difficulty breathing. It would look Gawd-awful dire but not actually be anything damaging. <br><br>

It works like a charm.<br><br>

Valentine gives the symptoms a few moments to settle in and then starts yelling his head off. <br><br>

'''Valentine:''' ''Help!'' Hey, help!? Hey! ''Asshole!'' Get in here! We got a … a totally sick person! I don't wanna die! ''Help!'' Somebody! Asshole?!<br>
'''Deputy:''' (through the door) Shut up! (bangs door)<br>
'''Valentine:''' You shut up!<br>
'''Deputy:''' I'm tryin' to watch my porn!<br><br>

Cuz the Cortex is for porn, don't cha know.<br><br>

'''Valentine:''' Get in here‼<br>
'''Deputy:''' It's two in the morning. Shaddup! Decent people're tryin' to sleep.<br><br>

So they are. And the Deputy's … wait for it … <br><br>

'''Valentine:''' And you're watchin' porn! So get in here! You get in here right now! Don't force me to describe what's—<br>
'''Deputy:''' Don't make me come in there and kick your ass!<br>
'''Valentine:''' You ''wish!''<br><br>

The door opens and the Deputy fills it. His fly's zipped, thank goodness. His lips aren't, however, and he angrily vents.<br><br>

'''Deputy:''' What's your ''problem?!?''<br>
'''Valentine:''' (points) ''She's'' my problem‼!<br>
'''Deputy:''' (blinks) What the hell's wrong with her?<br>
'''Valentine:''' Hell if I know! Whadda I look like? A ''doctor?!'' I … wait … I got one'a those …<br>
'''Deputy:''' (grudgingly) Hold on… I'll call our doctor. <br>
'''Valentine:''' I dunno. This looks like … You seen the plague before?<br>
'''Deputy:''' Yeah. I seen it. They're all kinda … (mimes deformity) … weak …<br>
'''Valentine:''' No, no. Not that plague. Not ''the'' plague. The ''other'' plague. <br>
'''Deputy:''' You seen plague like this before?<br>
'''Valentine:''' Yeah. I have. Well … My doctor has seen, anyway.<br><br>

Mary Crow Dog rasps and chokes and thrashes on the floor. She does look a mite frightful. The Deputy backs away from the bars and Valentine does the same. The Deputy slaps his handkerchief to his face.<br><br>

'''Valentine:''' Yeah, do I get one of those?<br>
'''Deputy:''' Yeah, sure. (Not!)<br>
'''Valentine:''' I don't want to get any closer to her than I have to. You're a moral individual … you gotta get me outa here. It's not … It's not right to be with someone who's gonna die … and then spread it.<br>
'''Deputy:''' Huhhh …. (considers it, eyes Valentine) … I should probably call the Sheriff or the doctor first.<br>
'''Valentine:''' I dunnno, man. The ''first'' hour … it's ''crucial''. Or at least, I ''think'' that's what she said …. You don't wanna ''risk'' that, do ya? <br><br>

A deep rattling gasp drifts up from the floor.<br><br>

'''Deputy:''' I believe ya … I … (narrow look) … How do I know you don't got it, too?<br>
'''Valentine:''' Lemme out!<br>
'''Deputy:''' I can't let you out.<br>
'''Valentine:''' I don't have the plague! I been staying at … like, a distance … of sorts.<br>
'''Deputy:''' Now, hold on. I'll …. I'll go over to your ship. Get the doctor.<br>
'''Valentine:''' You better hurry. Get her. Doctor Grace. (shouts at the door) Doctor Grace! Doctor Gra-aaaaaaaaaaaaaace!<br><br>

The Deputy spares one last look at the woman on the floor and peels out of there. Deep in the cell block, Valentine hears the front office door slam.<br><br>

'''Valentine:''' (sighing) If he comes back with Poco, I'm gonna be really upset.<br><br>


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