Editing Shadows Hills Polly Diary (section)

==July 5th, 2009==

Wow.

I don't know if I should write this down.  I don't know how to explain it.  

Well, that's not quite true.

I'm Pscipolnitsa, and my mind is a whirl of memories.

I'm the midday sun, and I shine brightly, and I exist to punish the foolish and unwise.  

It happened at a rest stop, while we were driving to Uncle Mick's place.  One minute, life as usual, the next... mind spins, I fall down.  

The memories are all jumbled.  I mean, I know a lot more than I did before, about what I am.  (I also know two more languages than I used to, which is spiffy keen!)  But they aren't complete, and there's so many of them that they all just blend together.

That's because there's easily ten thousand years of them.  Maybe more.  And they're all tied together with Pscipolnitsa.  Frau Mittentag.  Lady Midday.

Me!

...it's not just memories.  My family hasn't noticed yet.  It's not just memories at all.

I'm scared of it, because it's so natural and easy.

I made three people collapse today.  They were running along the road, in this crazy heat, and then one after the other, fall!  Fall!  Fall!

My eyes are gold now.  Why hasn't anybody noticed yet?  That's usually what happens.  Or they notice what happens to my clothes, and then I'm cast out, and live in the fields, or I run away, and live in the fields, or I'm caught and I'm burned and it takes me oh so long to die but I'm laughing because I can't die even as I die I know that once it's done, I'll be born again because the noonday sun is forever and ever and ever and 

Okay, keep it together, Polly.

Keep it together.

I can get through this.