Editing Diners of Amber (section)

==='''Jack Rabbit Slim's'''===

[[File:Pjackrabbitslim.jpg]]

Gracious me. Jack Rabbit Slim's?

It is times like this when I have start rethinking my opinion of our monarch.

This place has been described as a wax museum with a pulse. I think of it a sugary drop of nostalgia from a land that never was. It rocks.

As you come to this Los Angeles Hot spot there are a couple of things to remember. One is that this place is about a mile away from the North Hollywood location of the Footman's Garage. So you can go there & pick up a car first. Heck, borrow my '56 t-bird so you'll fit in. Just return it with a full tank of gas. The second is that being dressed right is a good idea. Hit a retro place for 50's chic. Third is that if you trump directly there ask for 'Randy's Table' at the maitre` tri-de`s station. They will take you to a booth, shaped like a cady. That is a Cadilac automobile for you sword swinging, horse riding, lute playing types.

The front of the place is neon and light, brick and glass. As you enter there is a slot-car track where miniature cars wheel around the course trying to out run each other bereft of gasoline. Tables line the walls, booths surround the raised dance floor that dominates the front room. Back rooms are available for private parties but they loose something in their seclusion. Waiters and waitresses dressed in 50's attire serve the flamboyantly named meals that are elegant and wild with a bit of country size and a bit of urban spice. Listen to the rockabily swing and the rock and roll hop.

I recommend the Bill Haley's Comet Platter. This is a 2/3-lb. onion burger with pickles, lettuce, mustard, grilled onions, two slices of cheese, 3 pieces of bacon and two avocado wedges. It comes with a huge plate of French fries and a giant 32-oz drink. Try the vanilla coke or the cherry coke. These are colas with a splash of vanilla extract and cherry juice.

I tried explaining onion burgers to the chef at Oberon's Fire in Calrabon. He was horrified. So I brought him here and set him up with a comet platter with a $5 milkshake. Now you can get an Onion Burger at Oberon's Fire.

The owner of this place is Elvis Beam. He knows very well about Amberites. He is a thin, wild guy who dresses like Elvis Presley, a musician in shadow, and who laughs easily and fights hard.

He knows a lot about Amber, and here is why. He was once the King of Amber.

Well, not our Amber, but a [[Shade Realms]], Ambior. In his reality, he was Random, the last survivor of a violent throne war that swept Ambir at the beginning of Eric's reign. To hear him tell it most of the bloody parts were done when he and Corwen drove a VW bus into Amber. There they found Beniydict in the process of executing Fioyna. He and Corwen fought. They killed each other. Random took the throne. Cleaned the place up and set about securing the kingdom. Sadly he only had a few years to rule before Brandy, a female version of Brand, returned and destroyed herself on the Primal Pattern, wiping the shadows connected to Ambior away.

Only he, Flori, and Lewellen escaped. As the three of them traveled shadow they managed to find their way to a Broken Pattern of the True Realm. Once they assayed it they gained greater power over shadow and found out that they were mere shadows of reality. They found themselves to be shadows of the true players of the Great Game, their own lives and trials merely reflections of the True Patternfall. They learned that at the time that Brand marred the true pattern, Brandy had destroyed theirs.

To say they were depressed is an understatement.

As they traveled shadow they had a wide range of adventures but eventually found the Shadow Earth so many of us have spent time on. It being strong from the attentions of so many Amberites over the years; it was like a beacon. There they spent many years in this shadow, eventually finding a place of rest. Random, now Elvis, started Jack Rabbit Slim's, having found a similar watering hole in a nearby shadow. Flori, now Marilynn, lives in Los Angeles too, and can usually be found here. She is an actress famous for her roles in heavy make-up that only she dons. One can guess how that is done, eh, fellow sorcerers and shape-changers? Lewellan, still Lewellan, is apparently a surf bum in Polynesia some place. He drops by occasionally and is an expert at Broken Pattern Trump art. He is also a fair hand at cards and abstract art.

Of course abstract art is not a safe pastime for Amberites. Picaso and Dali had no idea just how wild shadow gets nor did they know that their weirdest art might be realistic portraits of Lords of Chaos. To paraphrase, Life imitates art.