Editing Midnight RPG - Chapter 18.45.2 (section)

==Shadaar==

'''OOC:''' Assuming that Kyuad will agree to go to a more private spot to converse. '''Kyuad:''' ''Yes.''


''*Walking away from the group after Kyuad has cast his spell, Shadaar looks ashamed*''

"Okay. Here it is. Ever since we entered this forest and have not had enemies trying to cut us down at every turn, I have felt... no that is the wrong word."

''*Shadaar has a look of momentary confusion and then continues*''

"This state that Vrolk has left me in is new to me. This forest looks green to you? Full of life? The sun warms your skin? The sounds of the birds and other animals are like a song? The soft forest loam embraces your steps?"

''*Shadaar's face starts to turn into a scowl. His emotions begin to get the better of him as he says these things and his voice begins to rise*''

"The taste of cool, fresh water? The smells and '''feelings of the living!'''?"


'''OOC:''' The group may have heard Shadaar yell at that last bit. You can make a Listen check for the group if you wish Kev.


''*Shadaar composes himself and talks in a softer tone again*''

"I apologize Kyuad my lashing tongue was not meant for you. It is just... I must eventually become used to this new way of being. Suffice to say that I do not feel as you do anymore."

"So to answer your question - yes those bits of wood '''do''' discomfort me. But I suppose that is the point. How can I explain? I suppose it is like being underwater. Everything is distorted for me. I do not feel anymore, the way others do anyway. When I look upon this forest I do not see beauty, I see death. The sun no longer kisses my flesh to bring me warmth, all I feel is cold. Even the very sounds of the forest are not pretty songs for me, but rather distorted and monsterous to my ears. Even looking at the living flesh is uncomfortable to me - I see it decay in front of my eyes, and I feel the pull of its taste."

"Watching all of you has made me even more conscience of these horrors. The group seems a bit more relaxed. They enjoy these living feelings."

"Perhaps what I did to myself was wrong. But to feel '''anything''' anymore, even discomfort and pain is at least something. So I hurt myself."

''*Shadaar trails off and stands perfectly still looking off into the forest*''