Editing TheStarsAreRight:CarlNote3 (section)

=='''Recovery? (Memory)'''==

'''REDLAND'''

Before Carl can reply, Redland interjects, "Sorry, er, you said that 'Greece was quite awhile ago.' What's the date today ... tonight ... whatever?"

'''CARL'''

(::chuckle:: thanks – this one slipped through the cracks – it’s been busy at work.)
 

Carl hesitates, then looks worriedly at Jack. 
“It’s the second of May, Jack.  A little bit after eleven o’clock.”  He glances at the curtained porthole.  “In the morning,” smiling.

'''REDLAND'''

Redland is silent a moment, as if thinking.
 

"Well, that's unfortunate. So that means I'm fuzzy on about six weeks from last year, including Christmas, and I'm missing another eight weeks or so from this year, including my birthday. Perhaps I'm justing getting senile, but it strikes me that maybe I need to start being a little more careful. I'm probably just confused from this illness here, but maybe I suffered a concussion or somesuch ... or maybe all of this ... magic stuff ... isn't good for me. Hard to say."

'''CARL'''

Carl sighs.
 

“We all lost Christmas last year.  Don’t you recall?  Or perhaps you don’t. . . .”
 

He takes a deep breath, lets it out.
 

“We went to Bailey in December to confront the Lady. Came out the next day – and discovered it was February.
 

“What do you last recall, Jack?”

'''REDLAND'''

"Let's see. I sort of remember bits and pieces of things, but the last thing I remember clearly (or at least the last long, 'uninterrupted' time) would be the last day I spent with the Fae community in Los Angeles and most of the train ride from Los Angeles to New York."  

'''CARL'''

“Ah.”  Relieved look.  “That’s just last week.  You’ve lost this current trip across the Atlantic, and the few days in New York and New Jersey before that.  Let me try to help.  Do you recall your dinner with Miss Kane?  Our trip to the forest in New Jersey?  The interview with Roderick Usher?”

'''REDLAND'''

Redland is continually slow to respond as he attempts to recollect.
 

"The bad news, is that I don't recall very much prior to that last day with the Fae. At least, not very well. I recall a couple of visions from the Dark Pharaoh. One involving Pentheus and one featuring a fellow named Valentine. Hmmmm. I also recall looking at some pictures that represented people's souls or somesuch. I seemed really interested in them. I also recall pretty much everything from the time I went to visit my sister up to entering the 'gate' in Greece.
 

"It's not a complete washout, as I can also recall reasonably well what I was thinking while on the train. Unfortunately, I spent a lot of time thinking about how pretty Alanna looked when the breeze caught her hair just so." [Sighs] "Luckily, I managed to ponder a few other things, in particular, what I was going to do about Pentheus, what I'd do when the fellow I asked to look into the Donal matter got back to me, and whether it was important to search for a replacement for Milo. So I'm not totally, pardon the pun, at sea.
 

"As to the rest of what you mentioned. I don't recall anything about Miss Kane, except that I think the Dark Pharaoh suggested that I contact her, I don't recall ever going to New Jersey, and I don't recall talking to Usher, though the name rings a bell.
 

"Sorry about that."
 

It's hard to read his mood.


'''CARL'''

“There’s a lot to go over, then.”  Carl is uneasy.  “Some of those missing events were pretty important to you I believe.  And why would your memories be missing?”   He starts to say something else, then stops, glancing away from the porthole.
 

“Who is Alanna?” he asks, looking back at Jack.

'''REDLAND'''

Jack performs his customary pause while he orders his thoughts.
 

"I can think of a few reasons:
 

"1) Physical damage. Namely, I may have suffered some sort of head trauma that caused some sort of damage to my brain. Alternatively, this fever I just experience may have caused some portion of my brain to overheat or something. I have only perfunctory medical knowledge, so I'm not sure if that is plausible or not. It strikes me that the memory loss is both too great and too little to be caused by some sort of physical brain damage, but I could certainly be mistaken.
 

"2) Psychological damage. Perhaps I saw or experienced something that my mind couldn't handle and so 'it' forgot things to keep me sane. If this were the case, it would seem likely that memories would return over time. The extent of memory loss seems overly large, but I'm also not a psychologist, so I'm just not sure.
 

"3) I'm lying. This would easily account for the exact nature of the (alleged) memory loss. From what you know of me (at least through Greece), my adherence to the truth doesn't always seem complete. However, at the very least, it's difficult to imagine what my motive would be for this. Also, I can tell you that I'm not lying (though that might be a bit circular).
 

"4) External manipulation. I've, presumably, encountered a number of people who would have the ability to erase my thoughts through 'magic'. I wouldn't be shocked if the Dark Pharaoh and any of the 'Kings' had the ability to do something like this. I have been known to poke my nose in other people's business, so I may have learned something that was uncomfortable for someone. For whatever reason, they didn't wish to kill me, and, perhaps, erasing a small section of memory would elicit suspicion, hence accounting for the large-scale loss.
 

"5) 'Mystical' damage. I've never dealt with 'magic' prior to December of last year. Have any studies been performed on the effect exposure to magic has on 'normal' people? Maybe Kings and Generals and whatnot can deal with magic extensively and be unaffected, whereas normal folk may experience debilitating side-effects.
 

"6) Outsider externalities. Similarly, maybe being around the Dark Pharaoh has damaged me in some way. I've heard that the Outsiders change the nature of reality by their very existence. Perhaps I spent too much time in close proximity to the Pharaoh. Unlike external manipulation, this would be accidental. Maybe the gem he gave me has pernicious effects.
 

"That's all I can think of off the top of my head. Um, let's see. Oh, Alanna. She is a member of the Fae community in Los Angeles. She's relatively new, and is, I believe, 'unaligned' at this time, so Dr. Parkhurst thought she would be a good person to help me out with the whole 'communion' business. I have to confess that I was pretty infatuated with her. Even now, knowing that I was under some sort of influence, it's hard to parse out what I was feeling then with what is my 'true' feeling, or if there is even any meaningful distinction there. We're seeing now that memory itself is fragile, and, although I'm by no means a logical positivist, it is, perhaps, difficult to ascertain whether 'feeling' has any objective meaning. Perhaps it is, and should be, entirely subjective...
 

"Er, sorry, I got a bit off-track, there. More to the point, I feel that she is a really outstanding person. Superlative in every attribute. As noted, though, my objectivity may be lacking here, for several reasons."

'''CARL'''

Carl smiles.   “I’m going to assume for the moment that you’re not lying, Jack.  You may hide things sometimes, but I’ve never known you to baldly lie.
 

“As for the others, well, if it were any sort of physical or emotional trauma, it would have had to happen here on shipboard while we’ve been at sea, and there certainly wasn’t any sign.  The effect of fever perhaps; like you, I’m no expert.  The disorientation did seem to come over you while we were talking.  You were quite feverish at the time, and then you collapsed.
 

“I confess I suspected some malign magical influence.  I’m predisposed to that,” he shrugs, “and I don’t trust the Dark Pharaoh at any distance.  A number of us, including me, have actually lost memories to Outsiders before, and even exposure to too much ponic radiation can damage the mind; but that would leave signs that we could detect, and frankly we don’t see them here in you.
 

“Some sort of mental surgery?  Possible.  If so, they’re on the ship.”  He pauses.  “I did want to ask you about the watch you carry.  What do you feel, when you hold it?  While you were delirious, you kept searching for it with your hands, as if it gave you comfort.  Does it affect you in some way?”

'''REDLAND'''

"Yeah, when I lie, it is always with a luscious head of hair ..." Jack pauses for a second and frowns, "... sorry, they can't all be gems...
 

"Anyway, let's see, regarding the watch, I'd say that it actually reminds me a bit of of the 'communion' thing, with a couple of differences. That is, after I took communion, I found my mind constantly turning towards Alanna. The difference with the watch would be twofold, I believe. First, I imagine that the ... what're they called ... supporters(?), companions(?), whatever, would feel the 'enchanting' effect diminish over time (and, in fact, I felt it diminish as I was on the train). Thus, it would start overwhelming and then degrade into a kind of background noise. The watch (or, more to the point, the gem) seems to operate in the opposite fashion. That is, at first I barely noticed it. Over time its ... attraction ... has increased. Though, it is different than communion, insofar as I don't really ever, consciously, think about the watch."
 

He stops abruptly for a moment.
 

"Huh. You know, although I think I've lost my memory, I, apparently, recall my feelings towards the watch. Maybe I've only (or primarily) lost my conscious memory? Or maybe I'm just recalling something the Pharaoh told me when he gave me the gem and my mind has integrated it into a coherent narrative that I now believe to be true, even though I never (or don't recall) experienced it?
 

"Ah. Sorry, I got off on a tangent. I'm not communicating any of this too clearly, I'm afraid, but let me restate. With communion, I found my conscious mind constantly going to Alanna, with the effects diminishing as the necrophage dissipated. With the watch, I find my unconscious mind turning towards the watch. Apparently I 'feel' as though the effect has been increasing, but it certainly is not the overwhelming feeling I had with communion."


'''CARL'''

“Your structure and that of the watch have intertwined,” Carl says quietly.  “I expect there is a certain dependence.”
 

He gets up, crosses to the dresser, and retrieves the watch from a drawer, where it is wrapped in a silk handkerchief.
He holds it out to Jack without speaking.

'''REDLAND'''

Redland takes the watch and checks to see if it is showing the correct time. He then lets his hand fall back to the bed, still holding the watch.
 

"I wonder why I thought it would be a good idea to take the gem. It seems like a pretty stupid thing to do. Or maybe I didn't have any choice in the matter? Do you have any idea what it does?"


'''CARL'''

“In general?  It’s a connection between you and the Pharaoh.  Allows contact, communication, presumably facilitates whatever deals you made with It.  It’s also almost certainly a means for the Pharaoh to spy on us through you.  
 

“I’d wondered if maybe some of your lost memories were … lost in the watch?”  Carl shakes his head.  “Seems silly, but one never knows.
 

“Before you left New York, you were quite excited about a dinner date you were going to have with Meriden Kane.  Do you remember it at all?”


'''REDLAND'''

"Maybe I'll have a chance to do some research on the Pharaoh's gem. There's so much I don't understand ..."
 

"Hmmm. As to remembering dinner, no. Not a lick, I'm afraid."
 

Ponders.
 

"I believe the Dark Pharaoh recommended that I talk to her. I don't recall why that would be, though. I don't think I mentioned this earlier, but, when I was on the train, I associated Ms. Caine with Mr. Usher. I wondered whether she would be at the meeting or not."

'''CARL'''

“She was not, but you spent quite a bit of time with her both before and after, I believe.  You seemed quite taken with her.”  Carl smiles.  “In fact you asked my advice on how best to entertain the lady.  I believe you went to the opera.”  He raises his eyebrows.
 

“It did surprise me.  I’ve known – or know of – Miss Caine for years, but always as a business person, working for and on behalf of the Nightfolk.  Your interest, however, seemed quite personal.”


'''REDLAND'''

"Heh. These American ladies must be really appealing! Though my memory is clearly no good, I can't remember the last time I went out on the town with a lady prior to my trip to the 'States'. Maybe we should turn this boat around!" 

'''CARL'''

Carl nods agreeably, but Jack can tell his heart isn’t in it.
 

“Perhaps you should wire her, or even telephone, when we arrive.  She may be able to help you remember.  You’ve lost a lot – I don’t even know how much.  After Greece you went your own way for a while, and I have no idea what you did before joining us in California.  Do you recall Nevada?  Or the Pentheus test site in South Dakota?  Or our meeting with Roderic Usher?  Very important events, all of them.”

'''REDLAND'''

[You definitely don't need to recap this stuff if you don't want, but Jack isn't going to remember much of anything that took place after that train trip from L.A. to N.Y. I'm actually not recalling Nevada at the moment. What happened there?]
 

"That's probably not a bad idea. Might be a bit awkward, though. Hmm. In general, I may need to look into contacting people who can help fill me in on what I've been doing. Of course, I erratically keep journals of events and thoughts, so that might provide some value to me.
 

"I don't recall any of the things you're talking about ... events at the field test (though of the, er, useful things I thought about on the train, that was the most prominent, so I am reasonably up to speed on Pentheus, other than the actual event), with Nevada and Usher I don't recall how those played out at all."


'''CARL'''

[ Nevada was where we ended up when we went into the desert with the old man and his mule.  Lizard men, an ancient scroll, and a site where apparently some folks (Pentheus?) had been murdered by Brotherhood men in order to seal their spirits into the land and make a working of some kind.  Need more details? ]
 

“Well. Yes. I think you ought to hear this one then.”
 

Carl proceeds to describe the field test episode as best he can.  He wasn’t there for a lot of it, rather sitting outside the camp watching from a distance, but all the main pieces are there (unless there were parts that weren’t told to him.) 
 

“… We left Rebecca and Henrik on site when we came to New York.  They were going to see to the removal of the threat posed by the possessed farmer.
They were going to get in touch after that was done, but hadn’t done so by the time we came on board ship.”


'''REDLAND'''

[Ah, I'd forgotten that we went into Nevada for that. I was just treating that as an extension of the California trip.]
 

"Well, it sounds like things went pretty well with Pentheus, so that's good. I don't really like the prospect of having Rebecca and Henrik going behind the Pentheus people's back, but I'm lacking the full context, so I'm guessing you did the right thing. Are the Pentheus people going to be upset with us? Do we even care? Do our plans, going forward, involve them? With anything, let me know what you need me to do. Given that, for the foreseeable future, I'm going to be lacking context (even more than normal), I'm inclined to accede to your judgment in these matters."

'''CARL'''

This time, Carl pauses, very Jack-like, before replying.
 

“Pentheus is a problem, Jack.  It will always be a problem.  I know you feel differently, so it’s just as well that I regard them as a problem we cannot afford to remove, because they represent a backup if we fail.   So yes – our plans, going forward, must involve and be mindful of Pentheus – but I cannot consider them more than the most dangerous and guarded of associates – the enemy of my enemy, but not my friend.
 

“Yes, we care.  We don’t want them upset; but we must walk a fine line.  I know, because you have said before, that you are more comfortable with, ah, business models than conflict models, and you see Pentheus’ plan as the former and ours as the latter.  To me, the Pentheus model of institutionalized sacrifice lies somewhere between King Minos’ treatment of his people with the Minotaur – a cruel despotism wrapped in ritual that lasts only until someone gets angry and skilled enough to overthrow it – and tribute paid by a weaker nation or entity to a stronger – which lasts only so long as the victim is indeed weaker and accepting of that fate.”  He stops, shaking his head.  “And so on.  You’ve heard it before, even if you don’t recall.”
 

He looks directly into Jack’s eyes, as if searching.
 

“One thing, though:  Jack, we made a deal with Usher.  He has agreed to use his influence with the Elders to help break Auda’s bond with Rebecca, if we can line up the other candidate and introduce her as the Third King’s potential consort.  That was important to you, before.  I thought you’d better know.”