Editing Examples of Play

''/tg/'s parody of "Examples of Play"- which /tg/ also did, as a parody of the actual "examples of play" seen in rpg books. ''

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Chris: You encounter a Level 6 Safeguard. Her eyes gleam malevolently as she raises her arm-mounted Graviton Beam Emitter and--<br>
John: Okay Billy, you hit her with a stage 12 EMP barrier. Gwen, try for a pinning shot with your rifle. I'll sunder her ankles with my safeguard sword and then you guys hold her down while I saw off that GBE. Go!<br>
Billy: Roger!<br>
Gwen: Roger!<br>
Chris: ....<br>
Chris: GIANT GRUBS FALL, EVERYONE DIES.<br>

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Chris: You encounter a level 9 safeguard. Her emotionless face regards you with a vague familiarity and ponderously she opens her mouth and says--<br>
Billy: I roll to hit with my combat shotgun, mid-range small arms targetting software enabled. I rolled a 36, that means 80 percent of my armor-piercing flechettes land.<br>
Gwen: Nice shot! That means you hit the enemy 23 times!<br>
John: Time to tally up the damage!<br>
Chris: The Safeguard unfolds its wings and with a vast roaring sound, your surroundings become a hellish inferno. When you regain consciousness, badly battered and weaponless, the Safeguard is nowhere to be found.<br>
All but Chris: RAILROAD!!!<br>

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Chris: The megastructure awaits far above you, a large slab of unknown alloy taunting you with its solidity.<br>
Billy: FOUL CEILING! I'LL NOT BE SO CRUELLY TAUNTED BY SUCH A MATERIAL!<br>
John: Oh god, Billy's off his meds again...<br>
Gwen: STOP TOUCHING ME JOHN.<br>
Billy: MY GBE IS HUGE<br>
Chris: Hey...goddammit, where'd you get that?!<br>
John: He rolled it up as his starting equipment...somehow. You okayed it.<br>
Billy: I SHOOT THE SKY<br>
Chris: Shit. Fuck. Okay, there is now a massive gaping hole revealing the next level of the megastructure, do you ascend?<br>
John: How? We don't have a ladder or anything.<br>
Gwen: Don't worry. I have a web-shooter.<br>
John: A web-shooter, are you serious?!<br>
Chris: Actually that's a grappling hoo-<br>
Everyone but Chris: SPIDERMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN<br>

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Chris: You enter a room. In the center is a table with a cybersuit and a vibrosword. Standing in front of the table is a little girl.
She opens her mouth and says "please don't take these items"<br>
John: I'd listen to her. Knowing Chris she's probably another safeguard or something.<br>
Billy: But I need new gear.<br>
Gwen: Where have I seen this before?<br>

Billy: Fuck it, I'm taking the items.<br>
Chris: She turns to you all, and rips off the mask to reveal she's a safeguard all along.<br>
Gwen: What? But I remembe-<br>
Chris: SHE'S REALLY FUCKING GOOD AT MANIPULATING YOU, YOU STUPID LITTLE BASTARDS.<br>
Billy: . . .Well, I ask<br>
Chris: TOO LATE! SHE TEARS OUT YOUR HEEEEEEEEEEARRRRRRRRTTTTTT<br>