Editing Forgotten Freedom:3001 3500
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3002. Until further notice, we are not allowed to loanshark. | 3002. Until further notice, we are not allowed to loanshark. | ||
− | 3003. Not because | + | 3003. Not because its against the law, but because nobody knows their percentages. We are losing too much money. |
3004. I really should stop painting copper pieces gold. | 3004. I really should stop painting copper pieces gold. | ||
− | 3005. Though I | + | 3005. Though I cant help it if goblins keep buying them for platinum. |
− | 3006. The wizard is forbidden to warm up | + | 3006. The wizard is forbidden to warm up everyones hot chocolate with a fireball spell. |
− | 3007. He is also to refrain from using a lightning bolt spell to give | + | 3007. He is also to refrain from using a lightning bolt spell to give thw warforged a 'jump'. |
− | 3008. The | + | 3008. The ships surgeon is not Dr. Gregory House. |
3009. We do not have a shuffleboard court on the deck. | 3009. We do not have a shuffleboard court on the deck. | ||
Line 30: | Line 30: | ||
3014. Or Sony. | 3014. Or Sony. | ||
− | 3015. He | + | 3015. He isn't made by Microsoft either. |
3016. Or Apple. | 3016. Or Apple. | ||
Line 46: | Line 46: | ||
3022. Which it is depends on the DM not me, so quit asking. | 3022. Which it is depends on the DM not me, so quit asking. | ||
− | 3023. | + | 3023. Erandis d'Vol is not a "hot little thing". |
3024. You will not use her to get a certain feat from the BoVD. | 3024. You will not use her to get a certain feat from the BoVD. | ||
Line 52: | Line 52: | ||
3025. The feat is "vile", that's why. | 3025. The feat is "vile", that's why. | ||
− | 3026. | + | 3026. What a minute...where'd you get that copy of the BoVD. |
− | 3027. | + | 3027. Nevermind I don't want to know... |
− | 3028. We are dropping it off in Thrane to be destroyed. | + | 3028. We are dropping it off in the Thrane to be destroyed. |
3029. That does not mean you can in any way do anything related to Jaela. | 3029. That does not mean you can in any way do anything related to Jaela. | ||
Line 70: | Line 70: | ||
3033. Yes, he really is that dumb. | 3033. Yes, he really is that dumb. | ||
− | 3034. Just because he's stupid and has a name that's easy to make fun of does not mean you can call King Boranal "Moron-all". | + | 3034. Just because he's stupid and has a name that's easy to make fun of does not mean you can call King Boranal "Moron-all". |
− | 3035. Nor anything related to the last four letters of his name. | + | 3035. Nor anything related to the last four letters of his name. |
− | 3036. At least not while anyone loyal to him is around to hear. | + | 3036. At least not while anyone loyal to him is around to hear. |
− | 3037. "Kill 'em all!" is NOT the perfect response to anything that annoys you. | + | 3037. " Kill 'em all!" is NOT the perfect response to anything that annoys you. |
3038. Guess whom you are not allowed to tell this... | 3038. Guess whom you are not allowed to tell this... | ||
− | 3039. Just because the guy you're meeting on the way wears armor that is WAY cooler than the paladin's | + | 3039. Just because the guy you're meeting on the way wears armor that is WAY cooler than the paladin's that does NOT automatically mean he's evil and you can slay him. |
3040. So the Paladin finally gets some decent-looking armor. | 3040. So the Paladin finally gets some decent-looking armor. | ||
− | 3041. Proper dinner etiquette includes knives, forks, spoons, pants, underpants and skin (I'm looking at you | + | 3041. Proper dinner etiquette includes knives, forks, spoons, pants, underpants, and skin (I'm looking at you Andrea) |
− | 3042. It does not include spitting alcohol on Aurala's son before setting him on fire... | + | 3042. It does not include spitting alcohol on Aurala's son before setting him on fire.... |
3043. Even if it was funny. | 3043. Even if it was funny. | ||
− | 3044. No trying to kick or throw the halfling between the supports for the elemental ring. | + | 3044. No trying to kick or throw the halfling between the supports for the elemental ring. |
− | 3045. You should not tell the warforged to do this. | + | 3045. You should not tell the warforged to do this. |
− | 3046. No big game hunting on the ship. | + | 3046. No big game hunting on the ship. |
− | 3047. You will be keelhauled for this. | + | 3047. You will be keelhauled for this. |
− | 3048. Do not ask the paladin to bless anything you are wearing. | + | 3048. Do not ask the paladin to bless anything you are wearing. |
− | 3049. Or parts of you. | + | 3049. Or parts of you. |
3050. You may not refer to Last War veterans in the Eldeen Reaches as Chuck Norris. | 3050. You may not refer to Last War veterans in the Eldeen Reaches as Chuck Norris. | ||
− | 3051. VH1 does not exist in | + | 3051. VH1 does not exist in Ebberon, not even Sharn. |
3052. P30p1e fr0m Sharn may nt sp3ak in chatsp3ak. | 3052. P30p1e fr0m Sharn may nt sp3ak in chatsp3ak. | ||
Line 116: | Line 116: | ||
3056. Ludacris does not reside in any Red Light District in Sharn. | 3056. Ludacris does not reside in any Red Light District in Sharn. | ||
− | 3057. And if he did | + | 3057. And if he did he still wouldn't hang out with you. |
− | 3058. You are not allowed to talk like Arnold | + | 3058. You are not allowed to talk like Arnold Schwarzenegger |
− | 3059. Nor can you use any line he has said in a movie | + | 3059. Nor can you use any line he has said in a movie |
− | 3060. | + | 3060. or anything he has said outside a movie |
− | 3061. In particualar the warforged is not allowed to say "I'll be back" | + | 3061. In particualar the warforged is not allowed to say "I'll be back" |
− | 3062. Under any circumstances | + | 3062. Under any circumstances |
− | 3063. Even if he will be back | + | 3063. Even if he will be back |
− | 3064. The warforged is not a | + | 3064. The warforged is not a terminator |
− | 3065. The changling isn't one of those silvery, shape | + | 3065. The changling isn't one of those silvery, shape changing terminators either |
3066. The appropriate sounds to utter while riding a summoned elephant rampaging through a dungeon (controlled by a daredevil wizard) in order to bypass the guards and smash through all opposition is "Aaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!! I don't want to die!!!!" NOT "wheeeeeee!" | 3066. The appropriate sounds to utter while riding a summoned elephant rampaging through a dungeon (controlled by a daredevil wizard) in order to bypass the guards and smash through all opposition is "Aaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!! I don't want to die!!!!" NOT "wheeeeeee!" | ||
− | 3067. When I ask for a heat metal spell that doesn't mean | + | 3067. When I ask for a heat metal spell that doesn't mean fireball warforged. |
3068. Cone of Cold on the warforged doesn't count as a chill metal spell either. | 3068. Cone of Cold on the warforged doesn't count as a chill metal spell either. | ||
− | 3069. Dammit, stop fireballing the geese formations, or at least try to hit them so they land | + | 3069. Dammit, stop fireballing the geese formations, or at least try to hit them so they land on board. |
− | 3070. On second thought, flaming geese corpses falling from the sky is not good for the airship. Do not fireball geese into falling onto the ship, ever again. | + | 3070. On second thought, flaming geese corpses falling from the sky is not good for the airship. Do not fireball geese into falling onto the ship, ever again. |
− | 3071. No, that does not mean that lightning bolt of cone of cold is appropriate. | + | 3071. No, that does not mean that lightning bolt of cone of cold is appropriate. |
− | 3072. No, ducks aren't okay, either. Nor any other form of flying creature, or non-flying creature that, for whatever reason, is currently above the airship. | + | 3072. No, ducks aren't okay, either. Nor any other form of flying creature, or non-flying creature that, for whatever reason, is currently above the airship. |
− | 3073. When a crewmember dies, the correct thing to do is to raise him if you can, and bury him if you can't. The least correct thing to do is yell "Weekend at Bernie's!", prop him up, and steal his paycheck. | + | 3073. When a crewmember dies, the correct thing to do is to raise him if you can, and bury him if you can't. The least correct thing to do is yell "Weekend at Bernie's!", prop him up, and steal his paycheck. |
− | 3074. I am not allowed to tell the Silver Flame that the captain is a lycanthrope. | + | 3074. I am not allowed to tell the Silver Flame that the captain is a lycanthrope. |
− | 3075. In the vain hopes it would get | + | 3075. In the vain hopes it would get Jaelas attention. |
− | 3076. Or for any other reason | + | 3076. Or for any other reason for that matter. |
− | 3077. Unless the bounty is good, that is. | + | 3077. Unless the bounty is good, that is. |
− | 3078. I may not wake the crew with the words: | + | 3078. I may not wake the crew with the words: Were going down, women and children first, ****** off dragon, demon king, |
− | changeling hookers, | + | changeling hookers, berzerk shifters, no more booze on board, mutiny, or tax collector. |
− | 3079. | + | 3079. Im still not Batman. |
− | 3080. | + | 3080. Theres no such thing as a 'cute and fuzzy' Quori. |
− | 3081. I should stop telling that to the Kalashtar. | + | 3081. I should stop telling that to the Kalashtar. |
− | 3082. I should also stop telling the Kalashtar "sweet dreams" when he goes to bed. | + | 3082. I should also stop telling the Kalashtar "sweet dreams" when he goes to bed. |
− | 3083. Not allowed to use any item or spell or power that produces an effect similar to ' | + | 3083. Not allowed to use any item or spell or power that produces an effect similar to 'clairvoiyance' or scrying or anything of the sort to spy on the women while they are showering. |
− | 3084. Not even if it's the catgirl, and you can produce a signed document in writing saying that she's okay with it. | + | 3084. Not even if it's the catgirl, and you can produce a signed document in writing saying that she's okay with it. |
− | 3085. No, not even if it's really her signature. | + | 3085. No, not even if it's really her signature. |
− | 3086. Not allowed to knock new crew members out, look shocked when they awake, tell them that they're dead and now a ghost, and have them walk through Kanatash to prove it. | + | 3086. Not allowed to knock new crew members out, look shocked when they awake, tell them that they're dead and now a ghost, and have them walk through Kanatash to prove it. |
− | 3087. While most of the more experienced crew members might be familiar with this trick, the Warforged is never again to be subjected to it. Having him think he can float and walk off the edge of the Forgotten Freedom once was bad enough. | + | 3087. While most of the more experienced crew members might be familiar with this trick, the Warforged is never again to be subjected to it. Having him think he can float and walk off the edge of the Forgotten Freedom once was bad enough. |
− | 3088. Any ritual that has even the slightest chance of summoning uncontrolled monsters, especially demons or fire elementals, must be performed off the ship. | + | 3088. Any ritual that has even the slightest chance of summoning uncontrolled monsters, especially demons or fire elementals, must be performed off the ship. |
− | 3089. The crew does not, will not, and has not ever spontaneously burst into the "Cabin Fever" song from "Muppet Treasure Island". | + | 3089. The crew does not, will not, and has not ever spontaneously burst into the "Cabin Fever" song from "Muppet Treasure Island". |
− | 3090. The spell Color spray does not involve throwing | + | 3090. The spell Color spray does not involve throwing handfulls of M&Ms. |
− | 3091. Or Skittles. | + | 3091. Or Skittles. |
− | 3092. Or | + | 3092. Or Resse's Pieces. |
− | 3093. A Rod of Wonder is not a toy. | + | 3093. A Rod of Wonder is not a toy. |
− | 3094. And | + | 3094. And its not that kind of toy, either. |
− | 3095. No matter what the catgirl says. | + | 3095. No matter what the catgirl says. |
− | 3096. A Bag of Tricks will not produce Tribbles. | + | 3096. A Bag of Tricks will not produce Tribbles. |
− | 3097. Thank the Gods... | + | 3097. Thank the Gods...... |
− | 3098. I am not allowed to juggle Horrid Rats. | + | 3098. I am not allowed to juggle Horrid Rats. |
− | 3099. Or any other Horrid animal, for that matter. | + | 3099. Or any other Horrid animal, for that matter. |
− | 3100. Corellary to 3098: Nor may you juggle | + | 3100. Corellary to 3098: Nor may you juggle gosslings. |
3101. After the "special" rod of the viper the artificer made to be given to Jaela, his crafting tools, components, and | 3101. After the "special" rod of the viper the artificer made to be given to Jaela, his crafting tools, components, and | ||
Line 221: | Line 221: | ||
3107. Or nightsuits. | 3107. Or nightsuits. | ||
− | 3108. Our ninja is not Snake Eyes... | + | 3108. Our ninja is not Snake Eyes.... |
3109. Or StormShadow... | 3109. Or StormShadow... | ||
Line 227: | Line 227: | ||
3110. Or a Turtle. | 3110. Or a Turtle. | ||
− | 3111. And he sure as hell | + | 3111. And he sure as hell is Naruto. |
− | 3112. The | + | 3112. The captian does not apprecate being drugged durring mealtimes. |
− | 3113. Especialy if you somehow use | + | 3113. Especialy if you somehow use soverign glue to attach me by my boots to the bottom of the Forgotten Freedom again. |
3114. Whoever did that last time, step forward now. | 3114. Whoever did that last time, step forward now. | ||
Line 239: | Line 239: | ||
3116. I mean it. | 3116. I mean it. | ||
− | 3117. | + | 3117. Thats it next time i see the warforged in any color besides its own, i'm keel hauling the whole crew in shifts. |
− | 3118. I've almost got the money for that stop in | + | 3118. I've almost got the money for that stop in Reidra. |
− | 3119. Drinking contests will be put on hold | + | 3119. Drinking contests will be put on hold indefinately. |
− | 3120. The captain confiscated the Everfull Mugs. | + | 3120. The captain confiscated the Everfull Mugs. |
− | 3121. The mage is forbidden to write "Tira is a hottie" above Flamekeep. | + | 3121. The mage is forbidden to write "Tira is a hottie" above Flamekeep. |
− | 3122. Even if she is kind of cute. | + | 3122. Even if she is kind of cute. |
− | 3123. There is no spoon. | + | 3123. There is no spoon. |
− | 3124. The | + | 3124. The ships figurehead is to be tasefully clothed at all times. |
− | 3125. ESPECIALLY over Flamekeep. | + | 3125. ESPECIALLY over Flamekeep. |
− | 3126. And it had damn well better NOT look like Jaela. | + | 3126. And it had damn-well better NOT look like Jaela. |
− | 3127. The | + | 3127. The Following spells are banned from use on the Forgotten Freedom in specific circumstances: |
− | 3128. Grease cast anywhere near the edge of the ship | + | 3128. Grease cast anywhere near the edge of the ship |
− | 3129. Fireballs not aimed off the ship | + | 3129. Fireballs not aimed off the ship |
− | 3130. Invisibilty cast within the crew's quarters or especially outside the crew's quarters with the intent to go inside | + | 3130. Invisibilty cast within the crew's quarters or especially outside the crew's quarters with the intent to go inside |
− | (Even if the catgirl/changeling/paladin chick/other lets you) | + | (Even if the catgirl/changeling/paladin chick/other lets you) |
− | 3131. Prestigitation for any use other than cleaning | + | 3131. Prestigitation for any use other than cleaning |
3132. Mordenkainen's Disjunction. Period. | 3132. Mordenkainen's Disjunction. Period. | ||
Line 274: | Line 274: | ||
3133. These are in addition to any other bans aforementioned. | 3133. These are in addition to any other bans aforementioned. | ||
− | 3134. Use of time magic is exppressly forbidden, if I even suspect anyone of using time magic without leave | + | 3134. Use of time magic is exppressly forbidden, if I even suspect anyone of using time magic without leave i will keel haul them retroactively. *in chalk* (translation excuse for random keelhaulings) |
3135. Anyone who messes with the list gets to clean Doog's quarters. | 3135. Anyone who messes with the list gets to clean Doog's quarters. | ||
− | 3136. THere is no Ctrl-Alt-Delete to reset the warforged. | + | 3136. THere is no Ctrl-Alt-Delete to reset the warforged. |
− | 3137. The next wizard or sorcerer who claims 'everything burns' gets tossed over the side. | + | 3137. The next wizard or sorcerer who claims 'everything burns' gets tossed over the side. |
− | 3138. The person who ordered four hundred cases of adult diapers needs to step forward, now. | + | 3138. The person who ordered four hundred cases of adult diapers needs to step forward, now. |
− | 3139. I don't care that they can be used as sumo outfits. | + | 3139. I don't care that they can be used as sumo outfits. |
− | 3140. You are not to tell the warforged again that the diapers are armor. | + | 3140. You are not to tell the warforged again that the diapers are armor. |
− | 3141. Or food. | + | 3141. Or food. |
− | 3142. They would not make an effective bombardment weapon, no matter how high we fly the airship. | + | 3142. They would not make an effective bombardment weapon, no matter how high we fly the airship. |
− | 3143. They will not make good 'minature parachutes' if we have to bail out and Featherfall is not available. | + | 3143. They will not make good 'minature parachutes' if we have to bail out and Featherfall is not available. |
− | 3144. Etching "WIDE LOAD" on the back of the warforged is a bad idea. | + | 3144. Etching "WIDE LOAD" on the back of the warforged is a bad idea. |
− | 3145. Despite her claims, a bikini is not 'standard issue armor' for the catgirl. | + | 3145. Despite her claims, a bikini is not 'standard issue armor' for the catgirl. |
− | 3146. Neither is it a Bikini of Distraction. | + | 3146. Neither is it a Bikini of Distraction. |
− | 3147. Even if it does distract the bad guys. | + | 3147. Even if it does distract the bad guys. |
− | 3148. The crew does not need theme music. | + | 3148. The crew does not need theme music. |
− | 3149. The captain, however, gets theme music at his discretion. | + | 3149. The captain, however, gets theme music at his discretion. |
− | 3150. No, you cannot pick the tune. | + | 3150. No, you cannot pick the tune. |
− | 3151. Not even if you bribe the captain with the catgirl. | + | 3151. Not even if you bribe the captain with the catgirl. |
− | 3152. Complete | + | 3152. Complete Reading of the list is required of the list before the adding of new rule |
− | 3153. The Crew is forbidden from adding new rules to the list that are duplicates of older rules in order to inflate the list of things the crew cannot do to get to 3333. | + | 3153. The Crew is forbidden from adding new rules to the list that are duplicates of older rules in order to inflate the list |
+ | of things the crew cannot do to get to 3333. | ||
− | 3154. I don't care how drunk I was, the list | + | 3154. I don't care how drunk I was, the list overights any command from the captain. |
− | 3155. Violation of any of the above rules will result | + | 3155. Violation of any of the above rules will result of the word stupid eched into your forhead with Arcane Maek |
− | 3156. Smashing any Dragonshards on the ship, especialy | + | 3156. Smashing any Dragonshards on the ship, especialy Kyber shards, to free elementals will reuslt as your soul being used to |
+ | power the ship. | ||
− | 3157. This is not the Delphinus, so there is no | + | 3157. This is not the Delphinus, so there is no Syberis Cannon to fire. |
− | 3158. The list | + | 3158. The list shal not be read during class, or during work, becouse the amount of laughing will attract attention. |
− | 3159. No rule on this list may | + | 3159.No rule on this list may overide another rule already on the list |
− | 3160. The Captain reserves the right to edit the list at any | + | 3160. The Captain reserves the right to edit the list at any times. |
− | 3161. Smig is never to be put in the same room at the catgirl. | + | 3161. Smig is never to be put in the same room at the catgirl. |
− | 3162. Especially not if the reason for doing so contains any of the following words: kittens, heat, litter box, kennel. | + | 3162. Especially not if the reason for doing so contains any of the following words: kittens, heat, litter box, kennel. |
− | 3163. Blind Man's Bluff is not to be played on deck. | + | 3163. Blind Man's Bluff is not to be played on deck. |
− | 3164. The gnome redshirt is not to ever be involved in a scheme of the artificer's. | + | 3164. The gnome redshirt is not to ever be involved in a scheme of the artificer's. |
− | 3165. Doubly so if Jaela is involved. | + | 3165. Doubly so if Jaela is involved. |
− | 3166. No spellcaster is ever again to research variants of 'awaken' that can be used on animated objects. One silverware union strike was bad enough. | + | 3166. No spellcaster is ever again to research variants of 'awaken' that can be used on animated objects. One silverware union strike was bad enough. |
3167. Anyone caught playing with magnets and the warforged will walk the plank. Just think about that for a moment... | 3167. Anyone caught playing with magnets and the warforged will walk the plank. Just think about that for a moment... | ||
Line 344: | Line 346: | ||
3168. The next person to write 'lol' after a rule on this list will be keelhauled. (lol) | 3168. The next person to write 'lol' after a rule on this list will be keelhauled. (lol) | ||
− | 3169. I will commission the Artificer to flame-proof this ship... when I can afford his outrageous fee. | + | 3169. I will commission the Artificer to flame-proof this ship...when I can afford his outrageous fee. |
3170. Or when he gets tired of sleeping on the keel. | 3170. Or when he gets tired of sleeping on the keel. | ||
− | 3171. No, the reason you can't rub magnets over the warforged has nothing to do with messing up his hard drive. | + | 3171. No, the reason you can't rub magnets over the warforged has nothing to do with messing up his hard drive. |
3172. Doing that with magnets to the shifter girl is not permitted. | 3172. Doing that with magnets to the shifter girl is not permitted. | ||
Line 374: | Line 376: | ||
3183. Telling the warforged that he has "focus" points and must expend them to do things that you assign to him is strictly forbidden. | 3183. Telling the warforged that he has "focus" points and must expend them to do things that you assign to him is strictly forbidden. | ||
− | 3184. Inviting trolls over for tea is never, EVER to be done... again. | + | 3184. Inviting trolls over for tea is never, EVER to be done...again. |
3185. The same goes for Ogres or any other creature with large size and a small brain. | 3185. The same goes for Ogres or any other creature with large size and a small brain. | ||
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3188. Vol does not run a blood bank. | 3188. Vol does not run a blood bank. | ||
− | 3189. Wait... she's a lich? How does she have blood? | + | 3189. Wait...she's a lich? How does she have blood? |
− | 3190. Figurative | + | 3190. Figurative Language? What in the name of the Sovereigns are you babbling about? |
− | 3191. | + | 3191. no, can't name your rodent familiar Erandis da Vole... unless you make a DC20. |
− | 3192. | + | 3192. scions of house kundarak are NOT to whistle while they ward. |
3193. Talenta is not a nation, nor is it ruled by the King of Pop. | 3193. Talenta is not a nation, nor is it ruled by the King of Pop. | ||
− | 3194. | + | 3194. barons of house sivis may not also represent the lollipop guild. |
− | 3195. | + | 3195. marketing an "I <3 Sharn" shirt will not make you rich. |
− | 3196. | + | 3196. i don't know the answer to this question: |
− | 3197. | + | 3197. how much war can a warforged forge if a warforged could forge war? |
− | 3198. | + | 3198. the aereni may not collect candy by walking house to house. |
− | 3199. | + | 3199. joan rivers is not an ascendant councilor. |
− | 3200. | + | 3200. joan rivers cannot be invoked by the right to counsel feat. |
− | 3201. | + | 3201. even if she were to ask the Inspired "who are you wearing?" |
− | 3202. | + | 3202. no you can't spend all the party's money on an eternal wand of prestidigitation. |
− | 3203. | + | 3203. even if the shifter has poor hygiene. |
− | 3204. | + | 3204. the race of eight winds does not entail passing gas. |
− | 3205. | + | 3205. and doing so won't help you win. |
− | 3206. | + | 3206. the warforged druid may not wildshape into gizmoduck. |
− | 3207. Dick Clarke is not a Councilor, either. | + | 3207. Dick Clarke is not a Councilor, either. |
− | 3209. Neither is Wink Martindale. | + | 3209. Neither is Wink Martindale. |
− | 3210. They are both undead. | + | 3210. They are both undead. |
− | 3211. The bard is not allowed "to teach the world to sing". | + | 3211. The bard is not allowed "to teach the world to sing". |
− | 3212. Hell, the bard | + | 3212. Hell, the bard cant even get the captain to carry a tune in a sack. |
− | 3213. And the bard is sure as hell NOT allowed to hold weekly square dances! | + | 3213. And the bard is sure as hell NOT allowed to hold weekly square dances! |
− | 3214. And a successful intimidate roll by the bard does not result in polka music. | + | 3214. And a successful intimidate roll by the bard does not result in polka music. |
− | 3215. The bard is not allowed to take perform ranks in the following weapons: grand piano, pipe organ, the bodies of the fallen, armpit farts, or the tuned chickens from "Muppet Show". | + | 3215. The bard is not allowed to take perform ranks in the following weapons: grand piano, pipe organ, the bodies of the fallen, armpit farts, or the tuned chickens from "Muppet Show". |
− | 3216. The addition is weight is not due to the large number of invisible demons some of the crazier crew members are claiming. Dust of Appearance and True Seeing have revealed this is not the case. Honestly. Would I lie to you...? | + | 3216. The addition is weight is not due to the large number of invisible demons some of the crazier crew members are claiming. Dust of Appearance and True Seeing have revealed this is not the case. Honestly. Would I lie to you...? |
− | 3217. Nor is it because I, your captain, am getting fat, and any crew members who persist in claiming that will be considered excess ballast and thrown overboard. | + | 3217. Nor is it because I, your captain, am getting fat, and any crew members who persist in claiming that will be considered excess ballast and thrown overboard. |
3218. No this does not give you an excuse to test your theories on whether gnomes bounce. | 3218. No this does not give you an excuse to test your theories on whether gnomes bounce. | ||
− | 3219. Having the bard sing "It's a small world after all | + | 3219. Having the bard sing "It's a small world after all will result in a triple bypass keelhauling with emphasis on the "keel". |
− | 3220. The same goes for any other Disney show | + | 3220. The same goes for any other Disney show toons. |
− | 3221. Pixie Rogues who are Alcoholic, Thoroughly | + | 3221. Pixie Rogues who are Alcoholic, Thoroughly Permiscuious and Chaotic Neutral are not to be allowed as character concepts (Sadly this is true, I played in a campaign with one, :twitch: ). |
3222. Despite the above character fitting in perfectly on this ship, it is still not allowed. | 3222. Despite the above character fitting in perfectly on this ship, it is still not allowed. | ||
− | 3223. In reference to 3221, the catgirl hates competition. | + | 3223. In reference to 3221, the catgirl hates competition. |
− | 3224. The mage will refrain from casting Geas on the catgirl with the instructions 'Blow the man down'. | + | 3224. The mage will refrain from casting Geas on the catgirl with the instructions 'Blow the man down'. |
− | 3225. Or at least he will stop doing it while the captain is giving a speech, or greeting what few important people we get on this bucket. | + | 3225. Or at least he will stop doing it while the captain is giving a speech, or greeting what few important people we get on |
+ | this bucket. | ||
− | 3226. I will stop calling the Forgotten Freedom a 'bucket'. | + | 3226. I will stop calling the Forgotten Freedom a 'bucket'. |
− | 3227. Coarse grit sandpaper has now been added to the keel. | + | 3227. Coarse grit sandpaper has now been added to the keel. |
− | 3228. Trust me on this one. | + | 3228. Trust me on this one. |
− | 3229. To add to 3227 and 3228, we will be adding | + | 3229. To add to 3227 and 3228, we will be adding kyber dragonshards with various etremely aggressive (and mean) bound elementals to the keel as well as soon as we can afford it. |
− | 3230 | + | 3230: The warforged is not allowed to max out his speak language skill and mutter oh dear incessently. |
− | 3231 | + | 3231: Nor is he allowed a small animated object trash bin to beep and bloop along with his bantering. |
− | 3232 | + | 3232: The shifter is never allowed anywhere near catnip, or its derivatives. |
− | 3233 | + | 3233: Unless the captain indeed wishes to be "blown down" |
− | 3234 | + | 3234: or is just really lonely. |
− | 3235 | + | 3235: and doesnt mind a little cat-girl action on the "bucket" |
− | 3236 | + | 3236: You will not hold the cat girl and stroke her when Dark Lantern Agent Bond arrives. |
3237. We do not build elaborate death traps for Dark Lantern Agents, we just kill them. | 3237. We do not build elaborate death traps for Dark Lantern Agents, we just kill them. | ||
− | 3238. When describing my latest scheme for world domination, you do not make fun that it is called " | + | 3238. When describing my latest scheme for world domination, you do not make fun that it is called "Preperation H" |
3239. Or point your fingers and wag them when I mention it involves a Giant Laser. | 3239. Or point your fingers and wag them when I mention it involves a Giant Laser. | ||
− | 3240. All I want is some sharks with lasers on their heads | + | 3240. All I want is some sharks with lasers on their heads damnit! |
3241. When I have you on the plank, I don't expect you to talk. I expect you to die! | 3241. When I have you on the plank, I don't expect you to talk. I expect you to die! | ||
− | 3242. The barbarian does not enter a rage by shouting "By the power of Greyskull, I am | + | 3242. The barbarian does not enter a rage by shouting "By the power of Greyskull, I am HE-Man!" |
− | 3243. Nor are any of the undead you may meet to be called Skeletor. | + | 3243. Nor are any of the undead you may meet to be called Skeletor. |
− | 3244. And anyone who resembles Orko in any way, shape, or form will be | + | 3244. And anyone who resembles Orko in any way, shape, or form will be keel-hauled until the resemblance is gone. |
3245. Except Black Mage. | 3245. Except Black Mage. | ||
− | 3246. It's fireball, not Hadoken | + | 3246. It's fireball, not Hadoken |
3247. The movements for this spell are not | \ - P | 3247. The movements for this spell are not | \ - P | ||
− | 3248. You cannot have Swordchucks | + | 3248. You cannot have Swordchucks |
− | 3249. Why? Because, stupid, you could... :lightbulb: | + | 3249. Why? Because, stupid, you could.... :lightbulb: |
− | 3250. You can have swordchucks now! :schemes: | + | 3250. You can have swordchucks now! :schemes: |
− | 3251. You | + | 3251. You cant shoot the captian with a hammer |
− | 3252. Warforged cannot use a bellyflop as their main attack | + | 3252. Warforged cannot use a bellyflop as their main attack |
− | 3253. Except on halflings | + | 3253. Except on halflings |
− | 3254. All crew members must carry bags of flour and towels so that they can be ready for anything | + | 3254. All crew members must carry bags of flour and towels so that they can be ready for anything |
− | 3255. You cannot play Beavis or | + | 3255. You cannot play Beavis or Butthead |
− | 3256. I do not have TP | + | 3256. I do not have TP |
− | 3257. Or nachos | + | 3257. Or nachos |
− | 3258. | + | 3258. Dont ask the warforged about his "bunghole" |
− | 3259. Anything that gives the | + | 3259. Anything that gives the quori nightmares stays off this boat. |
3260. Aside from Warforged, Elves, Thri-Kreen, and the Kalashtar. | 3260. Aside from Warforged, Elves, Thri-Kreen, and the Kalashtar. | ||
− | 3261 | + | 3261 The catgirl is not to "groom" herself in front of the crew |
− | 3262 | + | 3262 Unless theres a cover charge |
− | 3263 | + | 3263 And the captin gets half |
− | 3264. There will be no breaking down of doors that do not need to be broken, do you know how much doors cost to replace? | + | 3264. There will be no breaking down of doors that do not need to be broken, do you know how much doors cost to replace? |
− | 3265. I don't care if Doog hid something behind it. | + | 3265. I don't care if Doog hid something behind it. |
− | 3266. The Shifters are not to howl at the moons. | + | 3266. The Shifters are not to howl at the moons. |
− | 3267. No one else is to howl at the moons either. | + | 3267. No one else is to howl at the moons either. |
− | 3268. The [[Forgotten_Freedom:Suggestion_Box|suggestion box]] shall be burned and anyone who mentions it again | + | 3268. The [[Forgotten_Freedom:Suggestion_Box|suggestion box]] shall be burned and anyone who mentions it again wil be keelhauled |
3269. Until after next payday. | 3269. Until after next payday. | ||
− | 3270. Do not tease the deckhand, just in case he's right about being a Rajah. | + | 3270. Do not tease the deckhand, just in case he's right about being a Rajah. |
− | 3271. Finding and releasing an actual Rajah for a 'family reunion' falls under this catergory. | + | 3271. Finding and releasing an actual Rajah for a 'family reunion' falls under this catergory. |
− | 3272. Do not tease the nice little dwarf lady. It's mean. | + | 3272. Do not tease the nice little dwarf lady. It's mean. |
− | 3273. I'm looking at you, Jam. Do not tell her about yourself again unless you want more soup burns. | + | 3273. I'm looking at you, Jam. Do not tell her about yourself again unless you want more soup burns. |
− | 3274. All available crew members are to subtly help her in another direction when the uncarnate psion or other, similiarly unnerving crew members are coming. | + | 3274. All available crew members are to subtly help her in another direction when the uncarnate psion or other, similiarly unnerving crew members are coming. |
− | 3275. Thank her when she gives you a sweater. Even if it's July and the sweater is sized for a dwarf and you happen to be rather larger. | + | 3275. Thank her when she gives you a sweater. Even if it's July and the sweater is sized for a dwarf and you happen to be rather larger. |
− | 3276. From now on, our official dress uniform is our new sweaters she gave us. | + | 3276. From now on, our official dress uniform is our new sweaters she gave us. |
− | 3277. Even the warforged. He will wear it as a bandana, since that's the only way it will fit. | + | 3277. Even the warforged. He will wear it as a bandana, since that's the only way it will fit. |
− | 3278. Yes, even the catgirl. Those who complain about it will be refered to the fact that she's wearing a tight sweater that's too small for her. There will be no further complaints, I trust? | + | 3278. Yes, even the catgirl. Those who complain about it will be refered to the fact that she's wearing a tight sweater that's too small for her. There will be no further complaints, I trust? |
− | |||
− | + | 3279. You cant play as a bard named J'Mai Hendrizzt | |
− | + | 3280. And you cant have max ranks in Perform: Electric Lute | |
− | + | 3281. The artificer cant make you a "Stratocaster" | |
− | + | 3282. The warforged isnt an amp | |
− | + | 3283. You cant use Ghost Sound to make the wind cry Mary | |
− | 3285. I | + | 3284. Nor can you go to Electric Lady Land |
+ | |||
+ | 3285. I dont know where Joe is going with that hand cross bow | ||
3286. But I heard he shot his old lady down. | 3286. But I heard he shot his old lady down. | ||
− | 3287. The reason for all this is | + | 3287. The reason for all this is; If Jimi Hendrix was a pirate, the space time continuum would explode due to the awsomeness. |
3288. Doubly so if he was a ninja too. | 3288. Doubly so if he was a ninja too. | ||
Line 584: | Line 588: | ||
3289. Yes, our theme song can be "Freedom", are you happy? | 3289. Yes, our theme song can be "Freedom", are you happy? | ||
− | 3290. It CANNOT be Peanut Butter Jelly Time | + | 3290. It CANNOT be Peanut Butter Jelly Time |
− | 3291. The artificer is not allowed to make dancing banana constructs. | + | 3291. The artificer is not allowed to make dancing banana constructs.. |
3292. In addition to rules 3127-3133 inclusive (banning various spells), no casting of Holy Word. That'd take out like, half the crew, seriously. And the fire elemental... and probably snap the ship in half too. | 3292. In addition to rules 3127-3133 inclusive (banning various spells), no casting of Holy Word. That'd take out like, half the crew, seriously. And the fire elemental... and probably snap the ship in half too. | ||
− | 3293. I *may* put money into the 'Buy a pole for the catgirl's room fund' box. Later. When no one's looking. | + | 3293. I *may* put money into the 'Buy a pole for the catgirl's room fund' box. Later. When no-one's looking. |
3294. Though I will not allow the Artificer to enchant it with anything. Coz someone important might see it. | 3294. Though I will not allow the Artificer to enchant it with anything. Coz someone important might see it. | ||
− | 3295. | + | 3295. DEFINETLY not, since the Artificer might put something on it to lure in Jaela. |
− | 3296. We are not going to replace the fire elemental with a Living Holocaust ( | + | 3296. We are not going to replace the fire elemental with a Living Holocaust (Feind Folio). It was hard enough getting it back on the ring last time. |
+ | |||
+ | 3297. Or a living Fireball | ||
− | |||
3298. No unsupervised summoning. | 3298. No unsupervised summoning. | ||
− | 3299. No wish spells without approval. | + | 3299. No wish spells, without approval. |
3300. No miracles or reality revisions either. | 3300. No miracles or reality revisions either. | ||
− | 3301. No | + | 3301. No I will not remind you why not, you just like hearing it. |
− | 3302. No, you may not make a 'stonehenge' outside Flamekeep. | + | 3302. No, you may not make a 'stonehenge' outside Flamekeep. |
− | 3303. And it sure as hell | + | 3303. And it sure as hell cant spell out the words "Marry Me, Jaela". |
− | 3304. The necromancer takes offense to the label 'creepy necro chick'. | + | 3304. The necromancer takes offense to the label 'creepy necro chick'. |
− | 3305. When she | + | 3305. When she isnt around, its fair game, though. |
− | 3306. The Forgotten Freedon does not have an affirmative action policy. Thus, we are not required to have a minimum amount of fiends, centaurs, giants, chromatic dragons, | + | 3306. The Forgotten Freedon does not have an affirmative action policy. Thus, we are not required to have a minimum amount of fiends, centaurs, giants, chromatic dragons, other-wordly horrors, or awakened animals. The fact that we sometimes do seem to have these on board is purely coincidental. |
− | 3307. The following spells are also hereby banned from | + | 3307. The following spells are also hereby banned from on-board casting: stinking cloud, cloudkill, dispell magic, anything that includes the words 'acid' or 'fire', and antipathy. |
− | 3308. No one, ever again, is to cast an anti-life shell in the privies. | + | 3308. No one, ever again, is to cast an anti-life shell in the privies. |
− | 3309. I don' | + | 3309. I don' care if you are a shipdwelling monkey monk. you may not throw your poo. |
3310. Even if it is adamantine poo. | 3310. Even if it is adamantine poo. | ||
− | 3311. You are | + | 3311. You are forbitten from telling th captian how you got metal poo. |
3312. You cannot have any d20 modern gear. | 3312. You cannot have any d20 modern gear. | ||
Line 632: | Line 637: | ||
3313. Aftershave is not to be applied with a putty knife. | 3313. Aftershave is not to be applied with a putty knife. | ||
− | 3314 | + | 3314 Clerics that are dragged to a tavern for a night of celebratory quaffing should be returned to their devotions within 4 |
+ | to 6 working days (or within two High Holy Days, whichever comes first). | ||
− | 3315 | + | 3315 Dark Gods require virgin sacrifices, incantations do not require virgin spell components. It is wrong to ask the mage how he knows his frog’s eyes come from a virgin frog. |
− | 3316. King Kaius is not Mr | + | 3316. King Kaius is not Mr Burns |
− | 3317. King | + | 3317. King boranal is not Homer |
− | 3318. Neither Patty or Selma is Queen | + | 3318. Neither Patty or Selma is Queen Aurla |
− | 3319. Jaela is not Lisa | + | 3319. Jaela is not Lisa |
− | 3320. | + | 3320. Ichy and Scratch are not our role models |
− | 3321. Stupid may be related to Ralph | + | 3321. Stupid may be related to Ralph |
− | 3322. Doog is | + | 3322. Doog is deffinitely Nelson |
− | 3323. Ketler is Sideshow Bob | + | 3323. Ketler is Sideshow Bob |
− | 3324. The resemblance is between Marish and Snowball II is only cosmetic(s) | + | 3324. The resemblance is between Marish and Snowball II is only cosmetic(s) |
− | 3325. I will admit some resemblance between Pholly and Smithers | + | 3325. I will admit some resemblance between Pholly and Smithers |
− | (penciled in below) 3326. The | + | (penciled in below) 3326. The capn is deffinitely Ned Flanders |
− | 3327. The | + | 3327. The mourning originated in the city of Making not Springfield |
− | 3328. It was not caused by a "nuclear meltdown" (the resemblance is striking though | + | 3328. It was not caused by a "nuclear meltdown" (the resemblance is striking though isn't it?) |
− | 3329. There is no such thing as a nuclear power plant | + | 3329. There is no such thing as a nuclear power plant |
− | 3330. Homer/Boranal did not cause the meltdown | + | 3330. Homer/Boranal did not cause the meltdown |
− | 3331. We already covered that Boranal is not Homer | + | 3331. We already covered that Boranal is not Homer |
− | 3332. :censored: it | + | 3332. :censored: it Kelter there is no such thing as "the Simpsons", there is no such thing as "television", and I will not let you test your ideas for a "nuclear power plant" on the ship |
− | 3333. Let the brainwashing begin. | + | 3333. Let the brainwashing begin. Rierda Ho! |
− | 3334. | + | 3334. Goddamit we missed one. Where is that ghost? |
− | 3335. All | + | 3335. All crewmembers are required to reread the list. |
− | 3336. When I say get off the ship it means use the ladders | + | 3336. When I say get off the ship it means use the ladders you numbskulls. Oh yeah thats right... brainwashing. |
3337. Use the ******* ladders. | 3337. Use the ******* ladders. | ||
− | 3338. GAAAAAAAAHHH! | + | 3338. GAAAAAAAAHHH! even brainwashed you bozos are useless. You would think you'd at least have the brains of zombie. |
3339. All new crew members are to leave veteran crew alone. I finally got them all doing something useful. | 3339. All new crew members are to leave veteran crew alone. I finally got them all doing something useful. | ||
Line 688: | Line 694: | ||
3341. Oooohhh shiiiiiit. | 3341. Oooohhh shiiiiiit. | ||
− | 3342. Whatever the justification, you are not to hit the captain. | + | 3342. Whatever the justification, you are not to hit the captain. |
− | 3343. Look, see, I'm wearing glasses. | + | 3343. Look, see, I'm wearing glasses. |
− | 3344. You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you? | + | 3344. You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you? |
− | 3345. (penciled in, shakily) "No, I'd use a greatclub," is no longer an acceptable answer to the previous rule. | + | 3345. (penciled in, shakily) "No, I'd use a greatclub," is no longer an acceptable answer to the previous rule. |
− | 3346. When you see a gelatinous cube, you do not make any references to 'You can't hurt the Blob'. What is this 'X- | + | 3346. When you see a gelatinous cube, you do not make any references to 'You can't hurt the Blob'. What is this 'X-men' you speak of? |
− | 3347. The artificer is not to make a set of ruby glasses that allow him to shoot lasers out of his eyes. | + | 3347. The artificer is not to make a set of ruby glasses that allow him to shoot lasers out of his eyes. |
− | 3348. Nor does the Warforged act Russian. | + | 3348. Nor does the Warforged act Russian. |
− | 3349. And neither Shifter is 'the best at what they do' (though it's arguable in the catgirl's case), nor do they have adamantium bones. | + | 3349. And neither Shifter is 'the best at what they do' (though it's arguable in the catgirl's case), nor do they have adamantium bones. |
− | 3350. Female Drow druids are not Ororo. | + | 3350. Female Drow druids are not Ororo. |
− | 3351. Psions are not to be paralyzed from the waist down and have their head shaved on your first meeting. | + | 3351. Psions are not to be paralyzed from the waist down and have their head shaved on your first meeting. |
− | 3352. Second and on is possible-- depends on how helpful they're being. | + | 3352. Second and on is possible--depends on how helpful they're being. |
3353. The monk is not Mr. Fantastic. | 3353. The monk is not Mr. Fantastic. | ||
Line 716: | Line 722: | ||
3355. Nor does he shout "Gum-Gum Pistol!" | 3355. Nor does he shout "Gum-Gum Pistol!" | ||
− | 3356. He is not Plastic Man. | + | 3356. He is not Plastic Man.. |
3357. Seriously, Ketler, where do you get these things? | 3357. Seriously, Ketler, where do you get these things? | ||
− | 3358. Best not to hassle the artifacer about 'fondling | + | 3358. Best not to hassle the artifacer about 'fondling is wand'. |
− | 3359. Just because the captain keeps muttering 'we are so screwed' | + | 3359. Just because the captain keeps muttering 'we are so screwed' doesnt mean its true. |
− | 3360. Okay, maybe | + | 3360. Okay, maybe its true, but try not to spread the rumor. |
− | 3361. I am not allowed to use Unholy or Chaotic Water | + | 3361. I am not allowed to use Unholy or Chaotic Water ballons to make bombing runs on Flamekeep. |
3362. Daelkyr are not to be invited on board. | 3362. Daelkyr are not to be invited on board. | ||
Line 732: | Line 738: | ||
3363. Even if a Daelkyr makes more sense then the artificer. | 3363. Even if a Daelkyr makes more sense then the artificer. | ||
− | 3364. Or it promises to evolve | + | 3364. Or it promises to evolve Jeala. |
− | 3365. Or it promises to put a wind-up key in the | + | 3365. Or it promises to put a wind-up key in the warforge's back. |
− | 3366. No, | + | 3366. No, sladdi do not wear codpieces |
− | 3367. And no. You cannot stick explosives in it, regardless of the hide/pickpocket/sleight of hand checks | + | 3367. And no. You cannot stick explosives in it, regardless of the hide/pickpocket/sleight of hand checks |
− | 3368. Gelatinous | + | 3368. Gelatinous cudes are NOT edible. |
3362. The Kalashtar Uncarnate is not Invisible Girl. | 3362. The Kalashtar Uncarnate is not Invisible Girl. | ||
− | 3363. The Kalashtar Soulknife is not the | + | 3363. The Kalashtar Soulknife is not the Flaming Torch. |
3364. The warforged is not The Thing. | 3364. The warforged is not The Thing. | ||
Line 777: | Line 783: | ||
3378. No, I will not explain how I know. | 3378. No, I will not explain how I know. | ||
− | 3379. All rumors involving Vol, | + | 3379. All rumors involving Vol, Myself, and what happened in the Crimson Monastery's alcove are not true. |
3380. This also includes whatever affair I apparently had with Vol in Fort Bones as well. | 3380. This also includes whatever affair I apparently had with Vol in Fort Bones as well. | ||
Line 785: | Line 791: | ||
3382. You drew those! | 3382. You drew those! | ||
− | 3383. Any and all crewmembers cannot make up any more stories involving | + | 3383. Any and all crewmembers cannot make up any more stories involving Me, Vol, and any location. End of discussion. |
(penciled in and covered with eraser marks) | (penciled in and covered with eraser marks) | ||
− | |||
3384. What about that time in Flamekeep? With Vol and Jaela? I've seen the pictures... | 3384. What about that time in Flamekeep? With Vol and Jaela? I've seen the pictures... | ||
− | |||
3385. Ketler, You're really perverted, and I hate to pop your bubble, but... END. OF. DISCUSSION. | 3385. Ketler, You're really perverted, and I hate to pop your bubble, but... END. OF. DISCUSSION. | ||
− | + | 3386. #3383 is to be extended to include, Jaela, The paladin chick, the old dwarf lady, The Lord of Blades, The enlightened Havakhad, Justice (honestly, who made that up?), Tira Miron, and the Changling warshaper (erg...). | |
− | 3386. #3383 is to be extended to include Jaela, | ||
− | |||
(In finger paints)3387. EvEN iF WE caN Proo0ooVe it? | (In finger paints)3387. EvEN iF WE caN Proo0ooVe it? | ||
− | |||
3388. Especially if you can prove it. | 3388. Especially if you can prove it. | ||
− | 3389. THe | + | 3389. THe Artifacicer is forbidden from making anything from the following link |
[http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=246010] | [http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=246010] | ||
− | |||
3390. He is especially banned from making things that even he doesn't know what they do. | 3390. He is especially banned from making things that even he doesn't know what they do. | ||
− | 3391. I will commision him to make a +1 backscratcher | + | 3391. I will commision him to make a +1 backscratcher |
3392. None of the crew will make any suggestions that I got fleas from the catgirl. | 3392. None of the crew will make any suggestions that I got fleas from the catgirl. | ||
− | 3393. Especially now | + | 3393. Especially now |
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
+ | 3394. No, we are not a rogue military crew sent by the Throneholders to fight the Seperatist colonies. | ||
+ | 3395. Who are not named Zeon.... | ||
+ | 3396. Or the White Fang.... | ||
3397. Or ZAFT. | 3397. Or ZAFT. | ||
− | |||
3398. No, you cannot have a Gundam. | 3398. No, you cannot have a Gundam. | ||
− | + | 3399. Or a giant warforged you can crawl into to fight with massively affective attachments as its soaked in adamantine. | |
− | 3399. Or a giant warforged you can crawl into to fight with massively affective attachments as | ||
− | |||
3400. Even if the Warforged is up to being modified. | 3400. Even if the Warforged is up to being modified. | ||
− | + | 3401. No, Jaela does not have a brother whose our mortal enemy that wears a mask. | |
− | 3401. No, Jaela does not have a brother | ||
− | |||
3402. No, her brother would not be the leader of the group to especially hunt us down either. | 3402. No, her brother would not be the leader of the group to especially hunt us down either. | ||
− | + | 3403. Nor does he have a crew of less talented warforge titan pilots. | |
− | 3403. Nor does he have a crew of less | ||
− | |||
3404. No, you were not raised by a weird scientist to be the ultimate killing machine and that's why you have no feelings. | 3404. No, you were not raised by a weird scientist to be the ultimate killing machine and that's why you have no feelings. | ||
− | |||
3405. No, Jaela will not find that hot. | 3405. No, Jaela will not find that hot. | ||
− | |||
3406. Correction: I've just recieved a letter from Jaela and apparently she writes lots of Gundam yaoi. | 3406. Correction: I've just recieved a letter from Jaela and apparently she writes lots of Gundam yaoi. | ||
− | + | 3407. It's better if you don't know what yaoi means.... | |
− | 3407. It's better if you don't know what yaoi means... | ||
− | |||
3408. Why? Because it won't help you get her. Believe me. | 3408. Why? Because it won't help you get her. Believe me. | ||
− | |||
3409. No you can't have a Gundam. | 3409. No you can't have a Gundam. | ||
− | |||
3410. No, our enemies are not really misunderstood like we are. | 3410. No, our enemies are not really misunderstood like we are. | ||
− | + | 3411. No, we cannot "Just give peace a chance." | |
− | 3411. No, we cannot "Just give peace a chance" | ||
− | |||
3412. No, there's no special country that's pacifistic that we can seek refuge while hiding from the Throneholders. | 3412. No, there's no special country that's pacifistic that we can seek refuge while hiding from the Throneholders. | ||
− | |||
3413. The Artificer will recieve 20 of the best from the lash for building a Haro. | 3413. The Artificer will recieve 20 of the best from the lash for building a Haro. | ||
− | |||
3414. No, we cannot build a Space Station colony.... | 3414. No, we cannot build a Space Station colony.... | ||
− | + | 3415. ESPECIALLY TO JUST DROP IT ON KHOVAIRE. | |
− | 3415. ESPECIALLY TO JUST DROP IT ON | + | 3416. I am not allowed to refer to myself as a "New Type" |
− | |||
− | 3416. I am not allowed to refer to myself as a "New Type" | ||
− | |||
3417. I am not allowed to wear a priest's uniform... | 3417. I am not allowed to wear a priest's uniform... | ||
− | |||
3418. And refer to myself as "The God of Death." | 3418. And refer to myself as "The God of Death." | ||
− | |||
3419. ...even if I am a Priest of the Keeper. | 3419. ...even if I am a Priest of the Keeper. | ||
− | |||
3420. I am not allowed to be a Coordinator. | 3420. I am not allowed to be a Coordinator. | ||
− | + | 3421. ...Or the "Next Stage in Human Evolution." | |
− | 3421. ...Or the "Next Stage in Human Evolution" | + | 3422. We will not build a Solar Canon to fire at the planet. |
− | + | 3423. Jaela is NOT a lost princess of said pacifist country. Nor can we score points if we prove it. | |
− | 3422. We will not build a Solar | + | 3424. It is wrong to create 14 year old Warforged Titan pilots. |
− | |||
− | 3423. Jaela is NOT a lost princess of said pacifist country. Nor can we score points if we prove it. | ||
− | |||
− | 3424. It is wrong to create 14 | ||
− | |||
3425. Though in two years that will be less creepy for Jaela like. | 3425. Though in two years that will be less creepy for Jaela like. | ||
− | |||
3426. "SIEG ZEON!" is not an appropriate response for any statement I make. | 3426. "SIEG ZEON!" is not an appropriate response for any statement I make. | ||
− | |||
3427. No, you still can't have a Gundam... | 3427. No, you still can't have a Gundam... | ||
− | |||
3428. Or build one. | 3428. Or build one. | ||
− | + | 3429. Have your scientist father have constructed it.... | |
− | 3429. Have your scientist father have constructed it... | + | 3430. Stole it from the military.... |
− | + | 3431. Or cast "Enlarge" on the warforged enough times.... | |
− | 3430. Stole it from the military... | ||
− | |||
− | 3431. Or cast "Enlarge" on the warforged enough times... | ||
− | |||
3432. Even if he REALLY wants to be a Gundam. | 3432. Even if he REALLY wants to be a Gundam. | ||
− | + | 3433. The Twelve aren't the Rommerfellar Foundation.... | |
− | 3433. The Twelve aren't the Rommerfellar Foundation... | + | 3434. Even if they are a bunch of really weirdly dressed noblemen whom want to start wars to take over the world. |
− | + | 3435. ....okay that DOES sound a bit suspicious now that you mention it. | |
− | 3434. Even if they are a bunch of really weirdly | ||
− | |||
− | 3435. ...okay | ||
− | |||
3436. No YOU can't wear the Mask to be the crazy Pilot. | 3436. No YOU can't wear the Mask to be the crazy Pilot. | ||
− | + | 3437. ...except for you V because we know about the burn thing. | |
− | 3437. ...except for you | ||
− | |||
3438. No, the Day of Mourning wasn't caused by a Colony Drop. | 3438. No, the Day of Mourning wasn't caused by a Colony Drop. | ||
− | + | 3439. Chaz was not a Cyrean Avenger! Nor was Milardo Peacecraft! They're the same guy for Flame's sake! | |
− | 3439. Chaz was not a Cyrean Avenger! Nor was | + | 3440. No we can't get lost in the desert for dubious reasons to justify a bunch of character develops. We're a frickin AIRSHIP. |
− | + | 3441. I don't care if you're a pilot and you like 12 year olds, you're still on Chaz. | |
− | 3440. No | ||
− | |||
− | 3441. I don't care if you're a pilot and you like 12 | ||
3442. You are not allowed to put squids on your heads so others will believe we are Illithids, the smell is not worth it. | 3442. You are not allowed to put squids on your heads so others will believe we are Illithids, the smell is not worth it. | ||
Line 929: | Line 882: | ||
3453. Nor does having a mildly insane and not altogether helpful girl as our healer. | 3453. Nor does having a mildly insane and not altogether helpful girl as our healer. | ||
− | 3454. The warforged is not trying to hunt down and kill his grandfather/great-grandfather to restore himself to his human body. It is wrong to convince him of this. | + | 3454. The warforged is not trying to hunt down and kill his grandfather/great-grandfather to restore himself to his human body. It is wrong to convince him of this. |
− | 3455. Just because I have a Brilliant Energy | + | 3455. Just because I have a Brilliant Energy lonsword does not mean it is the Sword of Light. |
3456. Nor do I activate its power by yelling "Light, come forth!" | 3456. Nor do I activate its power by yelling "Light, come forth!" | ||
Line 943: | Line 896: | ||
3460. Same for anyone who comes up with a Valenar Elf named Virrtz Vo' Irden or anything remotely similar in concept. | 3460. Same for anyone who comes up with a Valenar Elf named Virrtz Vo' Irden or anything remotely similar in concept. | ||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
+ | 3561. Mummies are not to be stared at. | ||
+ | 3562. I dont care if the Necro chick made them 'easy on the eyes'. | ||
+ | 3563. Pulling on a mummy's wrapping will not make him spin around like a top. | ||
+ | 3564. Stop telling the redshirt this. | ||
3565. Okay, maybe tell him one more time. | 3565. Okay, maybe tell him one more time. | ||
Line 957: | Line 907: | ||
3567. Stop playing Haz'rack with Squishy. | 3567. Stop playing Haz'rack with Squishy. | ||
− | 3568. He's the one | + | 3568. He's the one whos in charge of your paycheck. |
3569. Also... I see you found out about the poison spitting. | 3569. Also... I see you found out about the poison spitting. | ||
(entirely too pleased) | (entirely too pleased) | ||
− | 3570. Until further notice, the | + | 3570. Until further notice, the captains boots are NOT a spittoon. |
− | + | 3571. The captains sock and underwear drawer is NOT an ashtray. | |
− | 3571. The | ||
− | |||
3572. Open-pit barbecues on the main deck are forbidden. | 3572. Open-pit barbecues on the main deck are forbidden. | ||
− | |||
3573. The redshirt is NOT to be used for target practice. | 3573. The redshirt is NOT to be used for target practice. | ||
+ | 3574. Five bucks says I can hit him from here..... | ||
− | |||
3575. All right but, double the gold if I use the neogi. | 3575. All right but, double the gold if I use the neogi. | ||
+ | |||
3576. If we're going to use pigs to dispose of humanoid remains, we're going to use more than one. Seriously, the one pig we've got is so fat it's a dead giveaway. | 3576. If we're going to use pigs to dispose of humanoid remains, we're going to use more than one. Seriously, the one pig we've got is so fat it's a dead giveaway. | ||
3577. You cannot play a monk/warlock/enlightened fist and call yourself a Saiyan. | 3577. You cannot play a monk/warlock/enlightened fist and call yourself a Saiyan. | ||
+ | 3578. You cannot play a warforged warlock, paint yourself red and gold, and call yourself Iron Man. | ||
− | |||
3579. Ah’ight ya wankers, for the last time, we are not painting the Forgotten Freedom “a nice shade of Periwinkle Blue”. I don’t care how much yer Mum would like it. | 3579. Ah’ight ya wankers, for the last time, we are not painting the Forgotten Freedom “a nice shade of Periwinkle Blue”. I don’t care how much yer Mum would like it. | ||
− | 3580. The next person who mentions it is getting fed to the | + | 3580. The next person who mentions it is getting fed to the pigs….after we pry them from the keel. |
− | 3581. No [[Forgotten_Freedom:Wish_List|wish]] spells. EVER | + | 3581. No [[Forgotten_Freedom:Wish_List|wish]] spells. EVER |
− | |||
− | + | 3582. I'm not going to punish whomever used the Apocalypse Stone from selfsamemodule.....I just want to know who destroyed Xen'drick. | |
− | |||
+ | 3583: The Aerenal cleric is not a christmas elf. | ||
+ | 3584: Neither is the other Aerenal. | ||
3585: OR the Valenar warrior. | 3585: OR the Valenar warrior. | ||
− | |||
3586: And the half-elf isn't one either. DEAL WITH IT. | 3586: And the half-elf isn't one either. DEAL WITH IT. | ||
− | |||
3587: The shifter is a cat, not a reindeer, and the sorcerer is forbidden from trying to get her to dress up as one. | 3587: The shifter is a cat, not a reindeer, and the sorcerer is forbidden from trying to get her to dress up as one. | ||
− | 3588. Goddammit | + | 3588. Goddammit we are not putting big red and green moonkspeaker glyphs all over the ship, the anduarians hate us enough already. |
3589. Stop tying squishy to the top of the tree. | 3589. Stop tying squishy to the top of the tree. | ||
Line 1,004: | Line 950: | ||
3590. Why is there a tree... don't answer that. | 3590. Why is there a tree... don't answer that. | ||
− | 3591. What | + | 3591. What all this about presents? |
− | 3592. Stop tying | + | 3592. Stop tying pholly to the top of the tree. |
3593. The warforged is not a tree stand. | 3593. The warforged is not a tree stand. | ||
Line 1,016: | Line 962: | ||
3596. I'm not wearing that. | 3596. I'm not wearing that. | ||
− | 3597. I'm not this | + | 3597. I'm not this santa person. |
− | 3598. At least when they called me | + | 3598. At least when they called me batman the costume was cool. |
− | 3599. No, that does not mean I'm | + | 3599. No, that does not mean I'm batman. |
− | 3600. I'm still not | + | 3600. I'm still not santa. |
---- | ---- | ||
[[Forgotten_Freedom:2501_3000|Previous Rules]] ~*~ [[Forgotten_Freedom:Rules|Rules Home]] ~*~ [[Forgotten_Freedom:3501_4000|More Rules]] | [[Forgotten_Freedom:2501_3000|Previous Rules]] ~*~ [[Forgotten_Freedom:Rules|Rules Home]] ~*~ [[Forgotten_Freedom:3501_4000|More Rules]] |