Editing Forgotten Freedom:59

[[Forgotten_Freedom:58|Last Plot]] -- [[Forgotten_Freedom:Plot_Lines|Plot Line Home]] -- [[Forgotten_Freedom:60|Next Plot]]

----
*in coffee room*
*The very mortal Aerith and Jaela talk*

Aerith: So what do you think of the constant attempts to make us act OOC.

Jaela: Hmmm?

Aerith: You know, me being an enormous ****... which almost would work except for the fact that they tried to pair me with Kanatash of all people.

Jaela: Caralot and Kanatash work.

Aerith: Yes because both of them are completely messed up.  I still think he's a monster though and he can't stand female touch.  Which is probably why Caralot uses tentacles.

Jaela: I didn't need that mental image.

Aerith: It's part of the problem with being in a shared universe

Jaela: Isn't that Charles' Author company?

Aerith: *waves up at DM* No using us to advertise your gawddamned books.

Charles Phipps:: Sorry.

Aerith: So where was I?

Jaela: Character assassination.

Aerith: Yes, so this is one of the wackier plotlines.  One I personally intend to treat like Skinner not being really Skinner, something that nevverrrrr happened.

Jaela: But did it happen? Like Gwen Stacy having the Green Goblin's babies?

Jarlot and Charles shout from off camera: THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

Aerith: that depends on the writer and fan acceptance.  I mean, you wouldn't think Lisa being in a same-sex relationship would be one of our more touching stories but there it is.

Jaela: I'm Jarlot's daughter now. I find that creepy on many levels.

Aerith: Especially since the Elvis thing seems pretty much canon.

Jaela: So some stuff is real and some stuff is not based on how the character would react...

Aerith: We're in the realm of Uncertainty Principle on this ship pretty much now.  Lisa for example could be written as sleeping with Jarlot but we know THAT won't happen.

Jaela: Because it's a character trait that she only has slept with Michael and Terra?

Aerith: Exactly.  

Doog: *from behind a nearby closet* Oh hush you two, I ended up becoming gay somehow.

Aerith: But yes, if you suddenly made Ketler not an anime geek or a buffed up guy it would be reversed... sort of like any cure to the Thing's rocky state.

Jaela: Physics is hard.  I wonder how we can tell what's permanent character traits and what's not.

Aerith: Difficult to say. It only happens when it happens but at heart there has to be a bit of normality on the ship or otherwise no serious plots would work.

Jaela: We need some stability to be the most crazy?

Aerith: Yep.

----

Michael sits in the bar, trying to drown out both the image of Lisa and Terra as chibis and of his own time spent as one. When your sword (which should burn with the fires of darkness) glows pink and looks plastic, you know you need a stiff drink.

Doog: Hey, man! So this is where you've been. 

He sits down next to Michael and orders a beer for each of them.

Michael: (chugs) That whole deal was just wrong...

Doog: You think you had it bad! Be glad you didn't see what I looked like. Half-Orcs just shouldn't be cute, I'll tell you that.

Michael: I can't seem to get that image out of my head. It's just so... so wrong! How could I sleep with her now? I mean, every time I'll just-

Michael sits up suddenly. To Doog he seems to be looking off into the distance, but in reality, he's having a rather vivid vision.

Doog: You okay?

Michael: *smiles* Yeah, I'm great. I gotta go, man. I'll see you later.

Michael gets up and leaves in a bit of a hurry.

Doog: Wha-?

----

Somewhere in the depths of Kanatash and Carlot's shared room there is a shelf with a dozen crystal globes.  Within each a Chibified figure stands.  Most are redshirts but within one the figure of Bolt-tooth Tony is visible.

BT Tony: Help?  Someone, anyone?  Please, let me out.

Suddenly an evil laugh sounds from the darkness nearby and Caralot emerges.

Caralot: Oh, I'll let you out.  We're going to have some fun my little bundle of cuteness. :evillaugh 

BT Tony: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

----
The next day, Michael is wandering the corridors, stumbling about as if drunk (which, though it's only 10am, is a strong possibility). Noticing the distinct lack of alcohol smell, plus the unmistakable scent of Lisa's perfume, plus another one he couldn't quite place, Ketler walks up to him.

Ketler: Hey, you ok? You look awful. Did something bad happen with Lisa?

Michael shakes his head no and looks up at him, exhausted but grinning.

Michael: I just had... the most incredible night... in the history of ANYTHING! I didn't sleep a wink! You wouldn't believe some of the stuff they do!

Ketler:  :confused: They...?  :OMG!  You don't mean...!

Michael: I thought I'd seen it all, but damn if that druidess isn't a freaky one.

At this point, Terra walks by.

Terra: *smiling* I'm glad you enjoyed it. *continues walking*

Ketler:  :confused: I thought she hated you.

Michael: Amazing what one selfless act will get you, isn't it? And she's the one who invited me!

Ketler: How? When? You were at the bar until late last night, and no one saw her there.

Michael: That's the beauty of it. She sent the invitation to me Psionically. That was one hell of an invitation.  :devil: 

Ketler: ...any chance you'd share what it was? :bigeyes: 

Michael: No way in hell. :P

----

Ketler is sit in the library, staring off into space.

Volrath: What's wrong? You're coming here almost as often as the hobo redshirts.

Ketler: Jaela and 13, a... (breaks down into tears)

Volrath: Oh come one. Women aren't that hard to steal.

Ketler: Wha?

Volrath: You just have to not be quite so... aggressive.

Ketler: Like you would know :rolleye2: 

Volrath: I do to.

Ketler: Yeah right, who have you ever been with.

Volrath: Braids, Kerrigan, random school girl #7

Ketler: All from alternate universes, dead, or both. No way to prove anything.

Volrath: I'll show you. I have image crystals.

Ketler: Where?

Volrath: Well... In Terra's room. She says I'm not mature enough to keep any image crystal I use, no matter how trivial.

Ketler: Then go get one.

A few moments later in Terra's room.

Volrath is rumaging through a dresser. Several disarmed traps lay on the ground behind him.

Volrath: I'll show Ketler, he'll see.

He pulls out a violet image crystal.

Volrath: Bingo!

He turns it on. Coming from it is the image of Terra and Lisa talking to each other.

Volrath: (So full of rage he completely ignores what is being said on the crystal.) That ***** she taped over my crystal, I would... (looks back at crystal) Wow, that's kinky. I haven't seen Terra bend like that sense... Lisa isn't that against your 
religion... You're not going to, oh you are, oh (shudders).

Lisa bursts into the room.

Lisa:  :headexplo  You pervert!!!

Volrath:  :eek:  This isn't what it looks like!

Volrath takes off running, with Lisa and her hammer in hot pursuit.

----

Crow: Did you do something to the crew?

Silver: Why?

Crow: They're obsessed with :pile: .

Silver: I know.  It's great.

Crow: Yeah.  I hope they never figure out they're just entertainment.  But it's too bad the chibi thing is over.

Silver: Chibi Terra with tentacles and Cibi Lisa.  That will go down in history.

Crow: What will do down in history is Jaela finally having a confirmed significant other.  But I have a question: doesn't this count as insect?

Silver: Insect?

Crow: You know what I mean.  Trying to keep the post :cloud9:, and all that.  You're a fertility god.  This is your portfolio.  Actually about the only thing in your porfolio.

Silver: Between the time warps and the fact that progenitor dragons aren't the same materially as mortals— and Jarlot has to be lying about being the child of Khyber— it's about the same as Jaela being with a Khyber dragonshard.

Crow: I think we've created enough disturbing mental images.

Silver: No.  No we haven't. :devil: 

Crow: I just hope no one messes with the 13/Jaela plotline too much.  Jaela was a character on this thread long before anyone else.  It's about time she had someone.  Why can't it be the guy who once hated the church with enough passion to want to utterly erase it from time?

Silver: I will ask this question again: what did you do to Jaela?

Crow: I'd like to state for the record that she came with that school-girl obsession.

----

Erk steps onto the bar stage.  He bellows once to silence the room, then gestures for Lucky to come up.

Lucky (using an amulet of ventirloquism): Well, as you all know we've been having a vote on the name for the bar.  It appears the votes were in about a week ago, and no one has submitted any more.  Therefore I have the pleasure of announcing that this establishment is now formally known as Erk's Place.

*roar of approval, stamping of mugs, drunken falling over*

Erk looks very proud.

Lucky: I would like to remind everyone that tonight is the costume contest.  After last week's horrible fiasco, there are a few new rules:

1. No saying you are dressed up as yourself.

Jarlot and Alt-Jarlots: Aw, man.

Lucky: 2. No dressing up as a horrible vision of unknowability in an attempt to drive the judges insane and thus be declared the winner by default.

Kanatash: Hmph.

Lucky: 3. Ketler is not allowed to dress up as Jaela.

Ketler (already dressed up as Jaela): But I AM Jaela.  Really, I've got the pontiff hat and the pontiff robe and the pontiff staff and…

----

One morn, Norbaz rumages through his mail.

Norbaz: Bill, bill, summons to court, bill, order confirmation, ooooo, a job.

Deftly the cooky opens the envelope.

...

Norbaz: Dreadhold... Someone wants me to off a prisoner in dreadhold?!  What... a bank note... :eek: ...I'll take the assassination! ...hmm... gonna need some help on this one... killing a lich isn't gonna be easy... wait, the person who sent this... is the person I'm supposed to kill?  Okay, so a lich in prison wants be be destroyed so they rebuild somewhere else.  Gonna need to ask an undead expert for... help... crud.

Moments later, Norbaz stands outside of Andrea's door, steadying his breath and knocking.

----

Klaz: Now look 'eah mates, we gots quite an impressive specimen here. This beautiful little shiela is a progenator w- 

13: [COLOR=Cyan]Didn't we already go over this?[/COLOR] 

Klaz: -yrm. 'E calls 'imself 13 or Thyrs, dependin' on his mood. Now I'm going to try and touch im. Now kiddies, don't try this at home; I'm a professional which means that I'm-

13:[COLOR=Cyan]-A dead man.[/COLOR]

Klaz:- completely out 'o me mind. Here we go!

*Klaz touches 13*

13:*blink*[COLOR=Cyan] Actually... That felt kinda nice...[/COLOR]

Klaz: Now, we need to get his mouth shut. Alright, Vrin, hand me those ropes. Lissen closely buckoes, what we need to do is wrap this around his jaws. Dragons don't have a lot of raising power in their jaws, but they can get as much as ten thousand pounds of crushing power per square foot. Thats a narsty bite mate! Now watch me maties, we're going for a ride!

13:[COLOR=Cyan]Wow! I didn't know that! So that means hmmm... about 25 inches by 14 inches... carry the one... about 20000 pounds of crush- Hey! What are those ropes for?[/COLOR]

*Klaz manages to, in a disturbingly quick manner, completely and utterly prevent 13's Jaw from moving*

13 (Telepathicly):[COLOR=Red] I am going to rip out your heart and feast upon it! I am going to- Uh... Helloooo-oo? Can you even hear me?[/COLOR][COLOR=Lime]Klaz? Mr. Dingbo? Why do you have those ankle chains? They look kind of... Big... for just Dinosaurs?[/COLOR]

Vrin: Dude, do you like think those'll hold? I mean, you got them off of Ketler...

Klaz: Of course they'll 'old chum! I promised 'im that if 'e made unbreakable bonds for Thrys 'ere, then 'e'd have free shots at Jaela. Now that's Ketler motivation, eh?

*Jaela walks in*

13(Telepathicly):[COLOR=Cyan]Jaela! This isn't what it looks like![/COLOR]  :weep: :blush:

Jaela: hmmm... Kinky.  ;)

----
P/Y/R stalked the decks of the Forgot Freedom looking for Volrath, she was still ****** off that those thrice-damned Tree-Rats stole the wand before she could trade it for Volrath. 

P/Y/R: And I didn’t even get to see him Chibi-fied… I’ll just have to have mommy change him later or may be mommy could make me another wand.

Eventually she finds her way to Terra’s room… only to Volrath lying on the floor with hammer marks all over him. 

P/Y/R: What happen did you walk in on Terra and Lisa in a comprising position… if so did take a picture? I could use it to lure Red shirt to mommy. 

Volrath: No, I was look for a sensory stone of what happen to the last girl I slept with… to prove to Kelter I could get a girl before he could! But Terra and Lisa Must have taped over it …

P/Y/R: Of course, you have a girl before Kelter; you have me or don’t you like me any more?

Volrath: What  :love: ?! But what about your mother… I mean she…

P/Y/R: * looks slightly vexed   :ahem: * Well If you want to do mommy too that’s fine, I guess but only if we all do it at the same time!

Volrath: No… I mean I thought your mother would let me touch you. Being an evil Aberration who is supposed to destroying the world and all. 

P/Y/R: So what I’m Half Demon Unseelie Sidhe who thinks the sound of stuff breaking is a turn on. The only think mommy said was that we are not supposed to destroy the Eberron before she moves her realm into the planes. 

Volrath: This could be the start of a great realationship  :lightbulb  :dancin: . 

P/Y/R: Duh that’s what I’ve been trying to say… Now then Kelter is the one with the Jeala fetish right; so how would you like to…  :devil: 

* * *

Volrath walks into Kelter’s Lab with a smile on his face and hands him a sensory stone. 

Ketler:  No! How! Why would my sweet Jeala stoop to banging you when she could have me! *starts to cry  :weep: *

Volrath silent  walks on the sobbing artificer. 

P/Y/R in the Form of Jaela: See I told you, he would snap.

Volrath: Yes the look on his face was priceless. 

P/Y/R reverting to her normal form: So can you different types graft  of grafts…  :bigeyes: 

Volrath: let’s go back to my lab and 'talk' about it.  :smirk:

----

13 (using ventriloquism): [COLOR=Navy]There's one thing you forgot, Mr. Dingbo.  Or has all that damage you take daily finally loosened your brain?[/COLOR]

Klaz: Eh, and what's that?

13 just stands there in his little fox form, with the huge ankle manacles sitting on the floor.

13: [COLOR=Navy]I'm about the size of a house cat—hey![/COLOR]

13's manacles shrink to appropriate size.  Jaela hoists him up by the chains.

13: [COLOR=Navy]Jaela, what are you doing?[/COLOR]

Jaela: Thanks, boys.  I can never get him interested in bondage.

13: [COLOR=Navy]You are quite the dead man walking, Mr. Dingbo.[/COLOR]

Klaz: 'Ere, wait a minute—

Jaela lets out a very unusual growl.  Klaz and Vrin flee.

13 waits until he's sure they're out of sight.

13 (telepathically to Jaela): [COLOR=DarkRed]You really are kinky.  I mean, who'd have thought that Klaz would be fooled by all that stuff about dragons not being able to break jaw-bonds?  You're good at this.  And I'm a progenitor dragon.  If I wanted to I could take out Sharn by sneezing.[/COLOR]

Jaela: Hey, I'm one in control now.

13: [COLOR=DarkRed]Yesssss misssstressssss.

----

Jarlot: So, you actually want to fly on the Forgotten Freedom, and you aren't a super powerful extraplanar entity or some sort of criminal?

Prospective Passenger: Yes, Captain Jarlot, that's correct. I'm doing a study for the Morgraive University on the effects that chaos and insanity have on the very fabric of the world itself. I thought that it would be the perfect place for my research, since your ship is the highest concentration of both, as well as those that the crew refer to as "ubers" which I theorize may warp reality by their very presence.

Jarlot: So, what's in it for me?

Prospective Passenger: I have a Morgraive University open expense account for the duration of the study.

Jarlot: (Jumping out of his seat.) Welcome aboard, uh...

Prospective Passenger: Liam. Liam d'Ghallanda.

(Jarlot and Liam shake hands to seal the deal)

----

Sa'vor sits in the interviewing room. Liam sits on a desk opposite with a pencil and notepad. 

Liam: Mr.... *looks at notepad* Broken Blade or should I say D'vol? 

Sa'vor: since I discovered my bloodrights and bear the marks of death. then I would prefer you to call me D'vol 

Liam: *takes note* excellent. right, how did you come across this ship? 

Sa'vor: orginally I and the daemon lord possessing me, Naz'roth, decided to join this ship in the process of robbing one of the more prestigious banks. within this bank was a gauntlet. one of Naz'roth's more powerful artifacts, in which was contained a large portion of his power. 

Liam: ah yes, I have a quote from one of the other crew members that suits that time "The b****** got what he deserved. if only I could of have keelhauled him at the time" 

Sa'vor: *slight smile which shows his slightly elongated canines* ah... Captain Jarlot. lost none of his insubtlety. anyhow, the plane went sideways. the Sarlonans had stolen the item and hidden it. the rest well... is history, as they say. 

Liam: what are your comments on other crew members? 

Sa'vor: Well... where to start? Kithle, my lord, is perhaps one of the evilest members of this crew. I serve him with complete loyalty. Jarlot, my captain, while being insane, a drunkard and a complete imbecile I still admire greatly for being able to keep this ship and its crew together so well. Dooj, is an oaf, a fool and a bully but with that he has a huge desire to mutiny. furtunatly he lacks the brainpower and the skill to take control. 

Terra, is perhaps one of the more inventive crew members, her spy networks probably cover the very cosmos. she has surprised me on many occasions with her schemes. Kanatash, is the horror of the ship. he is an entity whom exists only to cause insanity. he a manifestation of insanity drawn to this ship like a moth to flame. his mind transcends the mortal realms of thinking. Caralot, Kanatash's lover, is a genetics expert. they both share the same twisted and insane mind ... exept she is drawn to Diabolicaly cute things. 

Ketler is a perverted artificer whom lives for the day Jaela will forget to wear any clothes when she enters the mess hall. a dream many of the crew share. 

Lisa, is the ship's paladin. she shares a relationship with Terra, she was sent here on a search for redemption, I think that she does extremely well with trying to spread some good on this ship. 
Michael, well, is a bit of an idiot. and a slave to his own desires and emotions. but I must confess a master at drinking large amounts of alchol and still surving. Erk is a suprising character and runs a bar on the lower decks, I don't frequent there, I would be intruding on the scum's territory. I prefer to eat my meals... *Very evil smile* elsewhere. 

Volrath, to whom Kanatash is an uncle, is the Ship's librarian and fellow warlock. he prefers to stick to the aberration side of life and magic. we walk different paths and have fought on many occasions. 
* more talk of crew*

Liam: what about the crewmember whom is termed to not exist whom goes by the name of ... *checks notebook* Slip? 

Sa'vor: *small smile* that's between me and her. *looks at watch* sorry, I must leave. its time I should be off
(vanishes)

----

Kithle - Next person who calls me lord gets a cranial skylight, the fun way. :hoppingma

----

P/Y/R and Volrath are playing living D&D minis.

Volrath: My flumph wizard imprisons your red wyrm.

A small squid like creature waves its tentacles about and the dragon in front of it disappears.

Volrath: Alright, off with the top.

P/Y/R: Why do you insist on playing with those things? My shifter kills your flumph anti-paladin.

A shifter slices apart a different squid creature. This one wearing black armor.

P/Y/R: Lose the vest.

Volrath: Just to prove that they aren't worthless, and to see the look on people's faces when they lose to flumphs. My wraith flumph drains your archer.

A spectral squid thing carrying a scythe touches a human, holding a bow. The human goes limp.

Volrath: Next goes the skirt.

P/Y/R: It's not like either one of us is playing to win.  :schemes: 

Volrath: True.  :smirk: 

The game goes on...

----

Crow: New crew member.

Silver: He's got some major machine skills.

Crow: We do not need more artificers.

Silver: Unless he's horribly chaste.  You know, balance out all the :blush:-crazed maniacs.

Crow: That'll be the day.  You know something we never see?

Silver: Ketler making a Jaela-bot?

Crow: That had to be one of the first rules.  But you'd think with his view of their universe that he'd make one of those anime girl-bot maids.  There's even a homunculus for that.

Silver: :plotting: 

Crow: Note :banghead: to self, never :banghead: mention new methods of fornication :banghead: to a fertility god.

Silver: I have no idea why everyone thinks my kind aren't evil.

----

In the library, Volrath pulls out the Necronomicon for Nalfein.

Volrath: Ok, now, normally, this would take an inordinate amount of time to read, so I had Ketler get us more of the green liquid. And no touching the book.

Nalfein: How can I read it if I can't turn the pages?!

Volrath: I'll take care of that.

Nalfein chugs the green liquid and his eyes become a blur yet again. In a matter of seconds (with some nice hand-eye coordination on Volrath's part), he finishes the book.

Volrath: So... what'd you think of it?

Nalfein: ...

Volrath: Hello...?

Nalfein: I HAVE GOT TO TRY SOME OF THOSE OUT!!!

Rushing out the door, Nalfein sees a new Redshirt, acting very nervous and holding a crossbow. Smiling evilly, he holds out his hands. The Redshirt stands straight up, begins gurgling, then turns inside out. He then explodes, raining innards across the hall.

Nalfein: [SIZE=4]HOLY GODS THAT WAS AWESOME!!![/SIZE] :w00t: 

Volrath:  :confused: Hang on... you should be totally insane now. More so than before... And you should have ability damage... Do you feel any different?

Nalfein: Not really...

Cuddles: Mmmmmmm... fresh spleen. Still twitching.

Volrath: Ummm, yeah. I'm gonna look into that.

----

Jarlot: Say, Michael. How did you get your anti-paladin abilities back? I mean, you just disappeared after the whole war with the C'tan.

Michael: Well, it's sort of a long story, so I'll sum it up a bit. Throwing myself in front of Lisa turned me to the side of good, so I thought I'd go off and get the hang of it. I went to Aundair and tried helping some peasants.

Jarlot: Why there?

Michael: Well, I figured that if I switched back, I wouldn't really be in that much danger.

Jarlot: True. So, what did you do?

Michael: I robbed the rich to feed the poor. But I admit, I wasn't thinking very clearly at the time...

(Cut to a scene in Aundair. Michael is on a horse wearing a mask. He has stopped a carriage and is holding a hammer gun in each hand.)

Dennis: Stand and deliver!

Driver: What's all this, then? What do you want?

Dennis: Your lupins or your life!

Chorus: 
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
galloping through the sward,
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
and his horse Concorde.
He steals from the rich,
he gives to the poor,
Mr Moore, Mr Moore, Mr Moore.

(back to the present)

Jarlot: Ooooooooook...

Michael: Like I said, I was new at it, plus I went a bit insane.

Jarlot: Thus explaining the 'new V' phase you went through... Why was your name Dennis Moore?

Michael: Well, I'm pretty infamous, what with my trying to seduce Queen Aurala on multiple occasions, the pillaging and the like, so I thought I should change my name.

(now, on to the peasants house. A woman is bedridden, the husband hovers over her. The house is full of lupins. The bed is covered in them, the peasants are dressed in them, and the soup is made from them)

Peasant Man: Oh, Mr. Moore, she's going fast.

Dennis: Don't worry. I've brought you something.

PM: Medicine? Food? Blankets perhaps? Clothes? Wood for the fire?

Dennis: (shakes his head at each) No. Lupins!

(to present)

Michael: Needless to say, he didn't take it very well. Especially after the cat choked on them. After that, he gave me a list of things to steal. After a while, I noticed that things were getting out of hand...

(back to past, Dennis is riding on a horse back to the house)

Chorus:
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Riding through the land
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Without a merry band
He steals from the poor.
And gives to the rich
Stupid b**ch.

Dennis: What? *pause* Huh... this redistribution of wealth is harder than I thought...

(the inside of the house is covered in silk, gold, and jewels. The peasants are dressed in fine silk.)

PM: What's this! Silver spoons! How dare you give us poor this rubbish!

Dennis: I thought it looked nice...

Peasant Woman: Bloody Silver! We won't have it in the house!

PM: *smacks him* Now get out there and find us something good!

(back in the present)

Michael: And that's how I got my abilities back.

Jarlot: What do you mean? You just got hit by a whiny, pompous... oh.

Michael: The blood was really hard to wash off. Ruined the silk too.

Jarlot: One more question. What happened to all the horrible wounds you had?

Michael: Uh... I got better?

----

Erk's Place

A morose figure is drowning their troubles in firewine.

Silence - Funny seeing you here, ... or at all really, whats bugging you?

NJ-26 - I just realized the I'm sane one here.

Silence - Damn... Erk get this lady a refill on me.

----

Liam: So, what are these things, exactly?

Terra: These are my pride and joy, the Demon Chocobos.

Giant Demonic Chocobos: WAAAAAARK!!!!

Liam: *scribbling in his notes* Please, do go on...

Terra: About two years ago, Tifa (now Beryl), Andrea and myself started a breeding program in an effort to diversify them. Caralot joined in shortly after she arrived. They show remarkable adaptability and have readily accepted the infusion of demonic energy into their genetic code.

Liam: *scribble* Fascinating. And, what can they do?

Terra: It might be faster to tell you what they can't. Their growth rate is incredible. Even without my assistance, they reach maturity in about a month. The new breed's life span is as of yet unknown, but I believe it to be over 100 years. They can be bred for anything ranging from combat air support to transporting cargo to even guide animals.

At this point, a miniature chocobo on a leash walks by, Squinty on the other end.

Terra: He's finally stopped running into walls every four feet...

Liam: Any future goals for them?

Terra: That's for me to know and you to find out. :devil:

----

Death paper - (in squirrel) Hey terra!

Terra - what's Kithle up to now?

Death Paper - Um actually this is about your chocobos.

Terra - Listen, that wasn't their fault; they're trained to attack stran-

Death Paper - actually We're starting an airforce and we need fighters.

Terra - Oh, well I have a few miniature versions to work with, but it will take me a while to breed up good skyriding stock. I assume you will want fire immunity as well so ou don't have to shell out on extra like with the ocelots.

Death Paper - Yeah we were hoping you could help us with that, and training the mounts to do various tricks, catch projectiles, move with the rider and such.

Terra - Sure, but no more eating out of my birdfeeders.

Death paper - :shifty: ok

----

Terra: I'm actually not too far off from having ones capable of both flight and riding. Tell him it shouldn't be more than two or three months. Probably another few months for training, but that could change with their personalities.

Death Paper: *chomp chomp* Right-o.

Terra: *hands on her hips* What did I say about the feeders?

Death Paper: Sorry... :allalone:

----
Satnak - huh :confused: oh  :eek:  WOOOHOOOO :D 

Sa'vor - what's with you?

Satnak - Illis just called.

Sa'vor - Why are you excited, from what I understand he's a friend, but nothing to dance about?

Satnak - He's bringing my cat, and Levy is coming for a visit!!! :D  :D  :D 

Tara - Oh gods no I don't think we'll survive another visit from Forbes; the Gods are still in therapy over the last time he walked in.

Satnak - Thats the best part, he's busy.

Feal'theas - Thats um ... hrrk .... great does this mean you will let us up now, some of the younger ones need to go to the bathroom.

Satnak - (sitting on top of Sa'vor's little army) Awwww I was just getting comfy.

----
Erk: *grumble-growl, point*

Satnak: What are you doi—oh, it's time?

Erk: *snort*

Satnak: Gotta go.  Keeping the world safe from evil—ah, who'm I kidding.  It's so I don't have to deal with any more whiny villains.

Pile of Half-dragons: Yay.

***

Satnak enters the bar's back room ahead of Erk.  She sees that the cauldron is now almost foaming over with a liquid that looks like what you would get if you distilled the essence of the Forgotten Freedom.  Any lesser being would have been horking up at just the memory of that stuff.

Caralot is already there, here hands cupped around the black water, but Erk hasn't come back here yet.  Satnak looks back through the curtain covering the entrance to the back room, but Erk isn't at the bar.

Satnak: Where the :censored: is that god?  I'm not going to wait around—gah!

Having turned around Satnak finds that the Word Being is standing next to the cauldron in its black pointed hat.

Word Being: The brew of creation is ready.  All that is needed now is the four donor samples.

Satnak: Cut any monologuing or any sort of philosophical Q&A, or anything else that you guys do in these situations.  You don't need to tell me what's in that mess, nor what you're doing.  The sooner this is done the soon I can get ready for Illis to come by.

The Word Being nods.  It shakes its hands over the cauldron and something that looks like fine ash floats down.  Caralot then steps forward and pours in the black water.  She also spits into the mixture.

Then they both turn to Satnak with significant looks on their faces.

Satnak: Is that it?  Wait, why are you looking at me like that?

Word Being: The creation of a significant being requires four things: material from another previous being, the touch of the divine, a piece from one that will love, and a piece from one that will hate.  To put it more simply, you opposed 13, so the balance says that you are the most like a mortal enemy.  Normally I wouldn't worry about it, since any new being would be born a blank slate and develop these characteristics as they grow.  But in this case you oppose its creation, so unless you give it your blessing it will become with one quarter of its being missing.  It will endlessly seek to fill that part of itself…… it will become one of those "I seek my worthy foe"-types and tear apart Eberron until it has found it.

Satnak: And since I'd want to destroy it anyway, might as well be me?

Word Being: Eliminate the middle-thing.

Satnak doesn't hesitate, but steps up and spits into the cauldron.  It suddenly boils over, sublimating before it can touch the ground.  The gas rises above the cauldron, forming into a puffy shape.  Sounds and images flicker through Satnak's head, but they are gone too fast for her to know what they are.  Finally all the gas contracts rapidly, flaring briefly with shadows, before the shape inside leaps into Caralot's arms.

Caralot: [SIZE=5]EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE![/SIZE]  He is sooooooo cute!  Yes you are, yes you are!

The pomeranian in her arms squirms and tries to lick her.

Word Being: I give you, Quench.

Satnak: Quench?

Caralot: In my Common, the word thirst comes from Thyrs's name.

Word Being: So in trying to make this creature less like 13, or Thyrs as it was oringinally, we gave it a name opposed to the previous one.

The little puffy dog barks and wags its tail in joy.

Satnak: I think I liked it better when it was a whiny destructive psychopath.

----

First Entry: I have attained passage on the Forgotten Freedom, and have begun interviewing the crew. They are not, as is the common misconception, murderous psychopaths. The two I have interviewed so far were actually quite polite. 

The Three Phases of Liam's Research Project Are As Follows: 

1) Interview all the crew and establish baseline "weirdness" and "insanity" ratings, at least with respect to the rest of the crew, using the newest redshirts as controls. 

2) Construct a device of some sort that can detect "weirdness" and "insanity," and determine how closely the readings of the device match my initial figures for the crew. 

3) In proving that "weirdness" and "insanity" can be detected, prove that they are actual physical, magical, psionic, or spiritual forces in the universe, and begin construction of a device that can harness said forces to produce usable energy, for fueling the use and construction of various artifice. 

Phase 1 is progressing nicely, due to, as I mentioned, the unexpected politeness of the crew. 

----

Liam is sitting is a room waiting for his next subject to enter the room, then the door opens and it appears to Liam that no one enters. The chair pushes it self away from the table and the cutest female Balor any has ever seen climb in to the chair. 

Liam: Umm… Hello nice to meet you. I am Liam but I think I am supposed to interview Volrath now…

Chibi-Balor: Yes, Volrath is indisposed for the moment, so I was sent here instead. 

Liam: Oh, could tell me what he is doing so I could reschedule him? 

Chibi-Balor: Yes, I do believe that he and My Mistress's daughter; P/Y/R are ‘talking’ about how to go about adding the Half-Fey Template to Aberrations… I think that the nice way I can put it. 

Liam: * Blinks * you mean they are…

Chibi-Balor: Yes. * Poof, Chibi-Balor form reverts to her ‘normal’ form * Damn. Well at lest I can return to my mistress with out have to worry about being ambushed by Caralot. 

Liam Sits and stares blankly at the Naked Red skinned female half elf with an aberrant mark on her right arm. 

Chibi-Balor: Sorry about that, the Spell to turn me in to a Balor or last so long, But the longer I stay in it the more Balor like my normal body become. I am Tessa, My mother was from the house of storms and my Father was from the house of detection. I am also known as Chibi-Balor for obvious reason; I am High Priestess of Beryl, Demon Princess of the Forgotten Freedom, Dunks, Alcohol and Red shirts. 

Liam: So is this the same Demon Lord that Mr. D’Vol works with? 

Chibi-Balor: No, I was though he was a Devil lord because he was lawful. No, Beryl used to be known as Tifa… I do not suppose I could interests you in converting by the way. 

Liam: No thank you, I’m happy with my current provider. 

Chibi-Balor: Okay, I just have to ask. 

Liam: So what’s it like serving your Demon Lord? 

Chibi-Balor: It is great, I used to be a redshirt and now I’m a Demon in training. I don’t have to worry about most of the crew… and we don’t have to pay are bar tab because Beryl supplies most of the Liquor to the Bar.

Liam: Well That very nice, but I’m afaid I have to move on to the next person now. 

Chibi-Balor: okay, oh Beryl says if you want to talk to her you’ll have to come to her.

----
Lisa: What’s this little trip you have in mind?

Terra: Not much. I just want to show you one of my favorite pastimes.

Lisa: Oh, sounds fun.

Terra beckons Lisa over to her and takes her hand. They disappear into the shadows, reappearing on the Plane of Shadow.

Lisa: Why are we here?

Terra: Well, last time we were all here, I didn’t get the chance to get to know it, so I came back later a few times. It is the plane where I was born after all.

Lisa: True…

Terra: First things first. You know how the Material Plane has its own unique rhythms and sounds?

Lisa: Yeah…

Terra: Well, to those attuned, like Druids, these sounds are a language all their own. The rhythms of wind, water, earth, and life can tell a great deal to those willing to listen. My mother and I used to spend hours just hearing what it had to say. I still do that now, I’m just more subtle about it.

A moment after hearing this, Lisa is struck by an epiphany.

Lisa: THAT’S how you know what’s going on pretty much everywhere?!

Terra: *smiles* It’s one of my major contributors, to say the least. I’ve taken it to a level beyond what most others do. Now, since I didn’t grow up here, I had to learn to listen all over again. Each plane has its own language, but they’re not that much different from each other.

Lisa: I’d like to be able to hear it.

Terra: That’s what I brought you here for. My control over shadow is not limited to travel, combat, and destruction.

She reaches out into thin air. Making a few gestures, Lisa can see something forming there. When she looks at it directly, it disappears, but out of the corner of her eye it looks like a crystal. When it is finished, a soft, haunting note seems to flow from it and fill the air. Terra makes about a dozen more crystals, each bearing a different tone. The notes rise and fall in strength and pitch independently of each other. The resulting melody is strangely enthralling.

Lisa: It’s beautiful…

Terra: This is the breath of the Plane of Shadow. I’ve simply drawn it out. I’ve never been much of a singer myself, but I always did love a good song…

The two of them lie cuddled up near the crystals, relaxing as the soothing melody continues to play. To Lisa, what at first seemed to be a somewhat haphazard tune eventually shows itself to be an incredible mixture of several tunes, each complimenting the other in such a way as to seem impossible.

Lisa: This is what you hear all the time?

Terra: Not always, but most of the time. It never repeats itself, yet I always seem to be able to follow along.

Lisa: I never knew this kind of beauty even existed. I feel like I’m floating…

Her eyes grow heavy, and she yawns. Mortified, she tries to apologize.

Lisa: I-I’m sorry. I ‘m not bored or any-

Terra puts her finger over Lisa’s lips and smiles.

Terra: I know. The first few times I listened to the Material Plane, I couldn’t stay awake for more than a few minutes. It takes practice not to fall asleep. And believe me; you’ll never wake up more refreshed.

Reassured by this, Lisa lays her head on Terra’s chest, slowly drifting off to sleep. Terra slowly runs her fingers through Lisa’s hair, smiling as the song plays softly in the background.

----



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