Editing Girls' Day Out

"V'seriozna? A rock?" I handed her a glass. "So stow it, you goon. It can't brain you if it's contained somewhere. Beglan and I pretty much got that part of the SmartShip system fixed but I'll be happy to check your door if you're still having problems with it."<br><br>

"Sounds like a plan." I grinned. "Just gotta leave a note." I grabbed what I needed out of the junk drawer and scrawled a hasty message: J: Out to town. Buying pfx. Back after lunch. --M. I pinned it to the fridge with a magnet and turned around. "After you."<br><br>

"So we'll avoid the bars,” I replied, deliberately missing the point. I didn’t want to go there. “If you gotta drink, we'll buy a bottle and share it when we get back." I hit the porch and took the three steps down, my boots crunching on newly iced-over snow. The barn wasn't too far away and the temps weren't too punishing to make the trip hell. Still, I pulled my hat and gloves from my coat pockets and donned them. The mule had an open cab and once we got going, the wind chill would be brutal. I turned around and spoke on, walking backward. "And I don't care how sexy you think it is, I am not trying on butt floss. You pull any of that crap on me, I'm driving home and leaving you high and dry."<br><br>

Well, now there was silence, Kiera thought. "Hey, everything went quiet. What's up?"<br><br>

Interesting. I filed that away for future reference and relented. I glanced her way and turned my eyes back to the road. Hover vehicle or not, it didn't mean I could get careless with the driving. "To be honest, I'd look ridiculous in something prairie-frilly. Simple lines, solid colors. Nothing too complicated, but nothing too Core-side sterile either. Damn. Can't see how anyone could think wearing what amounts to pajamas is stylish."<br><br>

Ask me anything. Those words I’d uttered on Meadow had come back to haunt me and for a second I debated the wisdom of leaving myself open like that. To be sure, we had just come down from a hellish situation and I’d been overwhelmingly glad to be alive. A good portion of it was completely due to her pulling our collective asses out of the fire. My forgiveness was born of that and the realization that one could carry a grudge only so far before it killed you. Like swallowing poison, it was ultimately deadly and I was tired of grinding axes. So I'd forgiven her and opened a door that she was now walking through. How much of my house did I want to show her, how detailed a cook's tour did I owe?<br><br>

"So long as you understand there are things I can't answer, sure." Why the hell not? Quid pro quo. I might learn something.<br><br>

"What system were you born in?" Kiera asked. Not the planet. Rina had waited too long to answer, was cagey and not coming off of it. Friends maybe, but not buddies. She was still on the outside. She swallowed, aware that she might always be on the outside looking in. Time would tell if they had the forgiveness that they preached and espoused. She couldn't quite hide the flicker of irritation in her eyes, but she was looking at the windshield. Always the wall with them. Ezekiel had taught her how to take hers down; she was trying to be the person who they had said that they wanted her to be. Before the corporate world, before the expectations of her parents, before the rules and regs of the underworld and the harsh lessons of life. She was realistic enough to know that it would not come quickly, but she had never been gifted with patience.<br><br>

What system were you born in? Not What planet were you born on?  What system.  She’d given me an out and by that I understood she didn’t expect me to trust her. I had a choice.  I could give her Marina’s or I could give her mine. Mine, not even Joshua knew.  Nor Nika.  Did I really want to hand it over on a platter to Kiera?  It wasn’t just my own neck on the block if I misjudged her, but my entire family. I’d forgiven Kiera for her part in handing us to Potemkin, but forgiveness wasn’t the same thing as trust.  Forgiveness is given, but trust is earned.  It was a distinction I understood, even if others didn’t.<br><br>

Londinium. Huh. We're practically neighbors. Not that I could ever tell her. I could see the conversation was limping to a halt and I took pity on her. She was trying to carry it forward and I was giving her jack to work with. Her next question, however, landed me in safe territory and I was grateful for it.<br><br>

"Mechanics. Engineering. Tech. Science. Math," I said. "If it had moving parts or electronics, if it used power or made it, if it could be applied to any of the above, I loved it and wanted it. Drove my family nuts the day I discovered the screwdriver. I'd dismantled quite a bit before they managed to take it away from me and even then, it took them months to find everything I'd loosened. Where most toddlers asked 'why?' I asked 'how?' By the time most were asking how something worked, I wanted to know how to make it work better. I learned early on that everything was a machine, either mechanical or biological, and science and math could describe the workings of both." I chuckled. "I think my teachers secretly hated to have me in their class as much as I loved being there to pick their brains. Needless to say, most people didn't know what to do with me and for the most part, I didn't know what to do with them. I had a hard time finding common ground. My people skills aren't what you'd call stellar and that's partially the reason why. You, on the other hand, strike me as someone who knows how to work a room and own it. Is that what you were raised to do? Were you groomed for it? To take over your father's business?"<br><br>

Kiera shook her head slightly, glancing at Rina. Ah, sturdier ground. "Not really. If my father doesn't disown me, I'll have a hand in it later, but mainly as a silent board member who is expected to stay quiet and let everyone else make the money for me. I was raised to be the perfect daughter of a trophy wife and a rather successful businessman. My job was to charm people at their parties, mix well, converse well and fulfill my destiny with a career that they could talk about with their friends and enemies. I did it as well as I could." A snort and she added, "I'm not good at meeting people's expectations. My instinct is to actively try not to meet them. I suppose that I was born to rebel against authority. It started early with me. My early years were very structured you see." She took a deep breath. "Did you have a nice childhood? What pets did you have? I can guess that dolls weren't your first interest?" Her gaze went from the window to Rina to give her a wink before falling back to the passing scenery. Keep it light Kiera. Don't pin her and make her quiet. It's too damn far between the farm and the city to ride it in silence with company. That's a lonely worse than being alone.<br><br>

"My father made matrouskas one year on his lathe. I was ... four? five? He wouldn't let me help. I got booted out of his work shop and I snuck in after lights out and turned it on. Then I had to find out how it worked. Next thing I knew I had the panel on it open and it was on fire and ... Well, let's just say Father was quicker with the extinguisher than the fire was on the lathe. We spent the next two months rebuilding it."<br><br>

Kiera grinned. "And I thought that flunking out of med school was bad. I never set anything on fire." She paused for effect, looking away and then back. "You haven't done anything like that recently. You know, like with a ship engine or something. Like before I met you. . .this is a new ship we stole. Kinda like it in one piece." She stole a look to see the offense on Rina's face before laughing. "I really like the Equinox. It's a new beginning, a new start on a new ship. New horizons maybe. No more lurking from place to place.' She took a long breath and let it out between her lips. "So how'd you end up sailing the Black? Long way from lathes to ship engines."<br><br>

Not on fire. In one piece. Wasn't me that did that to our girl. I white-knuckled the wheel and got a grip. She's yanking your chain.<br><br>

"Sorry to admit that I never saw service." Which side? her mind screamed to know, but she tamped it down. "I reckon that you were right, Rina. You're pretty amazing with machines." The next argument in her head was brief; she had seen the white knuckles on the wheel, inferred immediately what had caused it. Well, Kieracat, in for a credit, in for a platinum. "Is that where you met Mike and Nika?" She couldn't see Arden in the military at all, Browncoat or Alliance. Period.<br><br>

"I met Mike first, during the War. Met Nika after it. But both were in it." I kept my mouth shut on the closer connection between the two. It wasn't my story to tell. "Arden was a passenger on the Gift. I was already the mechanic on her, so that's how we met. Over the years people came and went, paying passage, hauling cargo. Most reached port and left. Some stayed. God knows why. You could probably answer that one."<br><br>

Before Rina could answer or not, she told her just that, wanting to be honest with her. They didn't trust her; well hell, she had told them not to. But Nika had sworn her not to lie and everyone wanted the truth. Well, she'd let them know what she was thinking and mostly how she got there if it pissed them off or not. Honest until it kills them. That worked too. Rina was right. She had been raised to play the room and get people. She could roll with the best of them; it was her talent and one that her father had taught her well. That she wasn't there where he could use it was his own fault; he had held too damn tight a rein. But she knew her craft and she knew to look for the blackness in the Equinox's crew now. They weren't angels. She wasn't either. To be honest, she probably didn't trust them to tell her what she needed to know to get her job done any more than they trusted her. That was the underworld that she knew. They've be mighty offended to know that she compared them to the scum of the Black. But in many ways that was the way they operated. Maybe more upstanding, maybe morally better, but they were "family" and one had to watch one's back with "families" that weren't your own. She studied the buildings quickly approaching and waited for the silence or the answer.<br><br>

Did they let him go on purpose or did he escape? It was a question that had occurred to me several times soon after Joshua joined us. How better to plant a spy than by presenting him as a victim in need of rescuing? Or as an ally gained under fire. Joshua certainly covered both bases. But that would presuppose our circle was one that needed infiltrating and the events that followed proved otherwise.<br><br>

Ask me anything, I'd said to her once. Time to stand by it. "I wasn't trying to be evasive. I was just making an observation. But in truth, I can't be certain if Joshua managed to escape on his own or if he was let go as part of a Blue Sun conspiracy. Is he a sleeper agent? Or is he free of their control? I don't know. He doesn't either. For his sake, I want to believe that he isn't a mole, that he's really free." I kept my eyes on the streets now that traffic was heavier, mixed with pedestrians. "I have to believe. If I doubted it, he'd pick up on it and it would ruin his confidence and that would ruin everything he's managed to build for himself. Blue Sun has taken so many lives away, Kiera. It's time we saved one back." I found a parking lot closer in to the commercial district. It was nothing more than a roped off square of dirt between some buildings and I nosed the mule where the attendant waved me. I pulled it to a stop and set the brake, cut the engine and twisted in my seat to face Kiera square.<br><br>

"Joshua doesn't know how long he's been in Blue Sun hands or how many Borrowings he's done. Some of them they've erased clean off his memory, like wiping a chip. There's no telling what enemies from his past jobs are waiting for him. But think on this: Blue Sun goes everywhere and so conceivably did he. So far, none of his past enemies have jumped at us and it's been over a year since we bloodied Blue Sun's nose. You think a corporation like that is going to wait to reclaim Joshua if they could?" I remembered kissing him before pulling the trigger on his gun, could still remember the shock of the bullet slamming into me. "They had him once. Put him under with code phrases. Made him their puppet. We managed to win free regardless and he overcame it. The fact that he could gives me hope he can do it again. As many times as it takes." <br><br>

Wheels within wheels within wheels. I thought I left that crap behind on Highgate. I sighed.<br><br>

"I don't have the answers you want Kiera. I'm sorry but I don't. If I had to make an educated guess, Blue Sun won't know we're flying Equinox. They'll be looking for Summer's Gift. If I had my druthers, I'd have fake IDs run up for every single one of us while we're in the Core. Disguise our footprints. Make as few signs we were there as possible. Get in, get out, get gone. We'd had the opportunity to do more with Foreman but I confess I wasn't exactly thinking that far ahead. I was in too much pain and drugged to the gills most of the time to think straight. Anyway," I added. "You can go crazy with the what-ifs and the if-onlys. Just plan for the worst, hope for the best, and keep your options open. You know, tighten your gut before the blow lands, roll with the punch."<br><br>

And I was already reallocating my expenses on my mental shopping list. Like that luscious blue dress Joshua had spied on Pericles Station, this dress was silk velvet and I wanted it. I had forty credits burning a hole in my pocket and swallowing hard against the inevitable disappointment, I reached for the tag.<br><br>

I took in the price without comment.  It wasn’t everything I had but nevertheless a sizable bite, nearly half.  I looked at the dress again.  Still… Turning around, I saw the attendant making her way toward us and it wasn’t long before I had that dress off the mannequin and myself installed behind a curtain to try it on.  Years of watching my mother design her stage costumes allowed me to note the details.  The dress was of good quality, sewn with care. It was floor length and its long sleeves were cut to a tight fit. Sewn on the bias, it had a fair amount of stretch to it and it draped beautifully.  It had a boat neck, a near-straight slit of a neckline that skimmed over my collarbones when I put it on, closing at the points of my shoulders.  The back was equally high but slit down the center to the small of my back, held closed at my neck by a single ruby glass button.  Nothing flapped loose or billowed behind but I knew the slit would flash my bare back with every step I took. <br><br>

No wearing a bra with this thing.  Huh.  Looks like Kiera might get her wish after all.<br><br>

"Like shopping, do you? Personally, I'm not too fond of it. Having company helps, though," I added, meaning it. "Still, I hope the results of this shopping trip fares better than my last. Just about everything I got at Pericles died on the Gift."<br><br>

The mirth died as rapidly as it came. Even though Kiera still smiled, her eyes lost all their warmth and reverie. "I enjoy making people look good, so I enjoy shopping with someone I'm fond of and want to look nice. Let's go look in that shop over there. It says it's a consignment shop; prices are usually good in those for some decent clothing." She stretched out her legs to walk towards the store, a brittle smile etched tenuously on her lips. Probably didn't mean it the way I took it, she thought, but damn, that ship is gonna haunt me until the day I die. "I might find me some clothes to do cargo and passenger negotiations in. The Equinox is a much fancier ship. Can't negotiate in rags and convince someone that it's worth the fare."<br><br>

Turning, Kiera blinked at her. "I'm just sensitive about what happened. I'm sorry. I'm feeling sorry for myself and a bit unfairly beat up. Nothing like what you all went through, tho'." She patted Rina's hand on her arm. "I'm a big girl and I know no one wants to hear how upset I was during the whole thing." Her brows met for a moment before retreating back to their neutral positions. "I need to get over it. I don't need---" Sympathy, she finished silent, trying to find a word that wouldn't offend. She was tired of being the whipping boy. Two months of work, two months of trying and two months of self-recriminations. She wanted off this planet so bad that it hurt at night when she was alone. And in the foolish hope that in time, everything would be okay. But it wouldn't. It never could. She wasn't family. Never would be. She grinned. "I need clothes. We're okay. Let's let it go. We've got money and things to buy. Time to shop."<br><br>

''Let it go'', she said.  ''Very well''.  I followed her into the consignment shop and saw she’d been right about the offerings.  I left her with the fancier stuff and looked for a rack that had work clothes.  Nothing much there, since work was apparently defined as being a desk job or the hospitality business.  Too nice to crawl through an engine room in.  I checked my watch (another borrowed item) and reckoned we’d have enough time to hit two or three more stores before turning around for home.  So I meandered through the racks and tables, looking at everything and giving Kiera time to shop. <br><br>  

"Hell, Kiera," I said, shaking off the shock. "If you were booking flights to Hell, I'd buy out First Class. Tell me you're getting it."<br><br>

"Hang on. Slow down. Breathe." I said, her rising desperation putting me on familiar ground. How many times had Mother done the same, second-guessing her costume choices until she was reduced to tears? Too many to count. Little did I know the hours I'd unwillingly spent at her side would stand me in good stead here. I gauged the silhouette of the jacket through my lashes. "Just as I thought. That jacket is long enough to wear with pants. See if you can't find a pair of slacks in something with a medium weight, something like wool or brushed cotton denim. And you're tall enough you can even go with cuffs on the hem," I added. "Go an inch or two long--you'll be wearing them with dressy boots."<br><br>

“ ‘Frenemies’.  Huh.  That fits,” I said, thinking of the backstage sagas my mother filled my ears with during our hours spent on costumes and accessories.  Opera was not a profession known for its lightweights—everything was done with the utmost passion and abandon, from hitting the high note to backstabbing colleagues for a coveted role.  I sat down next to her and gave the clerk a small smile and a shake of my head: nothing for me thanks. “Sounds like a high-powered, high-pressured world you left behind.”<br><br>

"Wow." I couldn't help it. My jaw dropped and my eyes popped. Wake up, dummy. She needs a second opinion. So I pulled myself together and walked around her once, taking in the details.<br><br>

Silly to carry a dress or a torch around for someone that you may never see again. That was too close to what I'd done with Mike, uncomfortably close, and Kiera didn't need to know that. My thoughts occupied me for the next several miles as I considered the nature of long-distance relationships and self-deception. If Joshua left tomorrow, would you stay or follow? Would you drop everything to find him or sit tight and wait for him to show? Like Mike. God help me, I didn't know.<br><br>

In the following silence, Kiera cast her mind outward. Hope you're having a good time Ezekiel. Be safe. The corners of her mouth twitched. As they had both said when she had left him, Hope to see you again. And thank you. There had been no promise, no ties, only the exchange of her contact point and a deep gratitude for the bond that they had shared. It had been a magical time and he had been kind enough to share it with her. But they both had destinies and responsibilities and the wanderlust to go with them.<br><br>

Would she have stayed had he asked? No, came the clear answer in her head. He wouldn't have asked nor would he have respected her had she asked him. And she wouldn't have respected him. They were what they were and they both had tasks to do. Maybe when the stars fell from the skies and they were done.<br><br>

'''Go back to: ''[[Mutineers Timeline, Season Four | Timeline Season Four, April 2521 to Dec 2521]]'''''<br>