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“Inside,” he said.<br><br>
 
“Inside,” he said.<br><br>
 
 
   
 
   
 
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Turning sharply, the Commandant walked briskly away, leaving the large guard standing near the cell. Looking in, the guard smiled viciously and slammed the view port closed, the lights going dark at the same time.<br><br>
 
Turning sharply, the Commandant walked briskly away, leaving the large guard standing near the cell. Looking in, the guard smiled viciously and slammed the view port closed, the lights going dark at the same time.<br><br>
 
  
 
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“Parker,” he finally said. He straightened and grimaced. Blinked some more.<br><br>
 
“Parker,” he finally said. He straightened and grimaced. Blinked some more.<br><br>
 
   
 
   
“Parker. This might hurt but I need you to sit still. Can you do that?” He focused on me and gave me a nod. I donned my stethoscope and continued the examination. ''Heartbeat strong. Lungs clear. No bleeding in the middle ear''. No depressions met my fingers when I gently felt his skull. A good sign. ''Blood pressure good, likely no internal bleeding''. A visual check of his bare skin beneath his shirt and trousers backed it up. ''Reflexes good''. I made as thorough an examination as I could with my limited resources, then stowed my equipment and pondered my findings. I’d found nothing overtly life-threatening: a shiner, a broken nose, a cut lip, several cracked ribs. I grabbed the bandages and started taping him up. I had to lean into him to get the bandage around him. I smelled blood and sweat but no vomit. Another good sign. “Do you know where you are?”<br><br>
+
“Parker. This might hurt but I need you to sit still. Can you do that?” He focused on me and gave me a nod. I donned my stethoscope and continued the examination. Heartbeat strong. Lungs clear. No bleeding in the middle ear. No depressions met my fingers when I gently felt his skull. A good sign. Blood pressure good, likely no internal bleeding. A visual check of his bare skin beneath his shirt and trousers backed it up. Reflexes good. I made as thorough an examination as I could with my limited resources, then stowed my equipment and pondered my findings. I’d found nothing overtly life-threatening: a shiner, a broken nose, a cut lip, several cracked ribs. I grabbed the bandages and started taping him up. I had to lean into him to get the bandage around him. I smelled blood and sweat but no vomit. Another good sign. “Do you know where you are?”<br><br>
 
   
 
   
 
“At the ass end of the universe. Locals’re a mite unfriendly.” His attention and focus had improved steadily as I’d examined him and he attempted a grin past his swollen lip. “Present company’s nice, though.”<br><br>
 
“At the ass end of the universe. Locals’re a mite unfriendly.” His attention and focus had improved steadily as I’d examined him and he attempted a grin past his swollen lip. “Present company’s nice, though.”<br><br>
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“You think they’d want to live like this?” He nodded toward the door, placing the blame squarely on those just outside.<br><br>
 
“You think they’d want to live like this?” He nodded toward the door, placing the blame squarely on those just outside.<br><br>
 
   
 
   
“''Yes!''” I snarled. “My infirmary is filled with people stabbed or beaten for what little they have. We are killing each other so we can ''live'' like this, because no one wants to ''die'' like this. If you truly believe for one minute your people would rather die, go out and offer to shoot them. You won’t have any takers. I guarantee it.”<br><br>
+
“Yes!” I snarled. “My infirmary is filled with people stabbed or beaten for what little they have. We are killing each other so we can live like this, because no one wants to die like this. If you truly believe for one minute your people would rather die, go out and offer to shoot them. You won’t have any takers. I guarantee it.”<br><br>
 
   
 
   
 
“They knew that goin’ in. Wouldn’t’a signed up if they didn’t.”<br><br>
 
“They knew that goin’ in. Wouldn’t’a signed up if they didn’t.”<br><br>
 
   
 
   
“God, you think I only meant the ''soldiers?''” I pushed away from him, furious that he wouldn’t see it. His obstinacy made me want to weep. “I have ''civilians'' in here with me. Everyone who wasn’t killed when this area was overrun was thrown in here. I have ''mothers''. I have ''children''.” It was true. A good number of my patients were under the age of majority, had never held a gun. “Help us keep the supplies coming. Help ''them''.”<br><br>
+
“God, you think I only meant the soldiers?” I pushed away from him, furious that he wouldn’t see it. His obstinacy made me want to weep. “I have civilians in here with me. Everyone who wasn’t killed when this area was overrun was thrown in here. I have mothers. I have children.” It was true. A good number of my patients were under the age of majority, had never held a gun. “Help us keep the supplies coming. Help them.”<br><br>
 
   
 
   
 
The door opened and the Commandant waved me over.<br><br>
 
The door opened and the Commandant waved me over.<br><br>
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I met him on the threshold, wondering if I’d said too much or too little. The Commandant was playing it close to the chest. I hated working in the dark. If’ he would just come clean, I could get the information out of Parker with the minimum of harm. Wasn’t that the most practical solution to the impasse? Why waste time pursuing any other gambit? The one of guards carried in electrical leads and a power unit. Another followed him with a foot basin of water. The interrogation had clearly jacked to the next level.<br><br>
 
I met him on the threshold, wondering if I’d said too much or too little. The Commandant was playing it close to the chest. I hated working in the dark. If’ he would just come clean, I could get the information out of Parker with the minimum of harm. Wasn’t that the most practical solution to the impasse? Why waste time pursuing any other gambit? The one of guards carried in electrical leads and a power unit. Another followed him with a foot basin of water. The interrogation had clearly jacked to the next level.<br><br>
 
   
 
   
“''Don’t'' do this,” I said, getting right up in the Commandant’s face in my fervor. “He’s fine for now but if you shock him, he’ll seize up and slam his brain inside his skull. The secondary concussion could kill him. He can’t tell you what you want to know ''if he’s dead''.” I saw it in his eyes the second before he motioned another guard over. A hand clamped on my shoulder hard enough to bruise. I tried to shake it off. “Don’t do it. It will ''kill'' him.”<br><br>
+
“Don’t do this,” I said, getting right up in the Commandant’s face in my fervor. “He’s fine for now but if you shock him, he’ll seize up and slam his brain inside his skull. The secondary concussion could kill him. He can’t tell you what you want to know if he’s dead.” I saw it in his eyes the second before he motioned another guard over. A hand clamped on my shoulder hard enough to bruise. I tried to shake it off. “Don’t do it. It will kill him.”<br><br>
 
   
 
   
 
Two hands had me now and dragged me out. I dug in my heels and tried to keep the Commandant’s eyes on me. He flicked an impassive glance past my shoulder and I knew I’d lost him. I grabbed the door jamb.<br><br>
 
Two hands had me now and dragged me out. I dug in my heels and tried to keep the Commandant’s eyes on me. He flicked an impassive glance past my shoulder and I knew I’d lost him. I grabbed the door jamb.<br><br>
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Burns from the leads marked his skin along with fresh lacerations. The bruises he’d sported two days ago had deepened and the fresh ones were worse, including one on his left side, extending beyond the taping over his ribs. I immediately thought one of his ribs had broken and started searching for the damage that it could do. Further examination showed it had not, thank God, punctured anything. Relieved, I pulled my stethoscope from my ears, satisfied his insides were more or less in one piece though his ribs creaked with every breath. His heartbeat was still strong. His pulse under my fingers was better than I’d hoped for, considering his appearance. As I worked I monitored him for signs of shock. His vitals and his color remained good. He was tough, I’d give him that, though I wished he weren’t half as stubborn. Had he been more tractable, he would have suffered far less damage.<br><br>
 
Burns from the leads marked his skin along with fresh lacerations. The bruises he’d sported two days ago had deepened and the fresh ones were worse, including one on his left side, extending beyond the taping over his ribs. I immediately thought one of his ribs had broken and started searching for the damage that it could do. Further examination showed it had not, thank God, punctured anything. Relieved, I pulled my stethoscope from my ears, satisfied his insides were more or less in one piece though his ribs creaked with every breath. His heartbeat was still strong. His pulse under my fingers was better than I’d hoped for, considering his appearance. As I worked I monitored him for signs of shock. His vitals and his color remained good. He was tough, I’d give him that, though I wished he weren’t half as stubborn. Had he been more tractable, he would have suffered far less damage.<br><br>
 
   
 
   
“Look straight ahead.” I shone a light in his eyes, watched his pupils change. ''Responsive. Good''. “Can you see me?”<br><br>
+
“Look straight ahead.” I shone a light in his eyes, watched his pupils change. Responsive. Good. “Can you see me?”<br><br>
 
   
 
   
 
“Yeah. Both of you.” He breathed a laugh and winced as his rib made him pay for it. “Nah, just kiddin’. I can … see fine. Just wanna … sleep a bit.”<br><br>
 
“Yeah. Both of you.” He breathed a laugh and winced as his rib made him pay for it. “Nah, just kiddin’. I can … see fine. Just wanna … sleep a bit.”<br><br>
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“… Share?”<br><br>
 
“… Share?”<br><br>
 
   
 
   
If I gave him my name, I’d be playing right into the Commandant’s plans: establish a rapport with the subject and once I’d wormed inside, make him spill. Did I want to do that? Would it cause more harm than good? The deprivations of the past five days made it hard to think straight, to weigh my options objectively. ''Go with your gut. Do what feels right''.<br><br>
+
If I gave him my name, I’d be playing right into the Commandant’s plans: establish a rapport with the subject and once I’d wormed inside, make him spill. Did I want to do that? Would it cause more harm than good? The deprivations of the past five days made it hard to think straight, to weigh my options objectively. Go with your gut. Do what feels right.<br><br>
 
   
 
   
 
“I’m Oksana.” I smoothed his hair from his forehead, clearing his eyes. “Pleased to meet you.”<br><br>
 
“I’m Oksana.” I smoothed his hair from his forehead, clearing his eyes. “Pleased to meet you.”<br><br>
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“That decision is no longer in my hands. I’m sorry.”<br><br>
 
“That decision is no longer in my hands. I’m sorry.”<br><br>
 
   
 
   
“''Damn you!''” I pulled away from him and stumbled back. “If you intended to kill him all along why the hell did you take me away from my patients? How many will I find ''dead'' when I get back? I have a ''six-year old'' with a—.”<br><br>
+
“Damn you!” I pulled away from him and stumbled back. “If you intended to kill him all along why the hell did you take me away from my patients? How many will I find dead when I get back? I have a six-year old with a—.”<br><br>
 
   
 
   
 
The guard behind us grabbed me by the neck and the Commandant stopped him with a word.<br><br>
 
The guard behind us grabbed me by the neck and the Commandant stopped him with a word.<br><br>
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A hard blast rocked the building, sending us to the floor. He threw his arms around me and cradled my fall. I didn’t have time to register more than that before he was on his feet again.<br><br>
 
A hard blast rocked the building, sending us to the floor. He threw his arms around me and cradled my fall. I didn’t have time to register more than that before he was on his feet again.<br><br>
 
   
 
   
“''Code Black!''” he shouted. “Lock it down! Lock it down ''now!''”<br><br>
+
“''Code Black!''” he shouted. “Lock it down! ''Lock it down now!''”<br><br>
 
   
 
   
 
Another resounding boom made the ground shake and I could hear the report screeching tinnily from the Commandant’s comm: ''They’re bombarding us! They’re—''. Another boom. The Commandant shoved me at the nearest guard and turned for the command center.<br><br>
 
Another resounding boom made the ground shake and I could hear the report screeching tinnily from the Commandant’s comm: ''They’re bombarding us! They’re—''. Another boom. The Commandant shoved me at the nearest guard and turned for the command center.<br><br>
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“''No!''” I shut my eyes and threw a fistful of dirt in his face, kicked free and sprinted for the gate.<br><br>
 
“''No!''” I shut my eyes and threw a fistful of dirt in his face, kicked free and sprinted for the gate.<br><br>
 
   
 
   
“''Vernadsky!''”<br><br>
+
“Vernadsky!”<br><br>
 
   
 
   
 
I ran. Dear God I ran. Already I could see several of the prisoner buildings were burning. Bullets strafed the ground in front of me and I dove aside, hit the ground rolling, and got back on my feet. The gate between the camps was hanging by a hinge and I got past it easily. Another mortar exploded on the Fed side of the wire and the shock wave slammed me to the dirt. I gave it a count of three and scrambled up again.<br><br>
 
I ran. Dear God I ran. Already I could see several of the prisoner buildings were burning. Bullets strafed the ground in front of me and I dove aside, hit the ground rolling, and got back on my feet. The gate between the camps was hanging by a hinge and I got past it easily. Another mortar exploded on the Fed side of the wire and the shock wave slammed me to the dirt. I gave it a count of three and scrambled up again.<br><br>
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The moans from the wounded rose above the murmurs of those I’d drafted to help them. The infirmary reeked of blood and worse. I looked down and saw I was covered in it. I would probably kill more patients with infection than I managed to save. What the hell was I doing here? Why did I even try? Anger blazed through me then and found a target in the uniformed man standing next to me.<br><br>
 
The moans from the wounded rose above the murmurs of those I’d drafted to help them. The infirmary reeked of blood and worse. I looked down and saw I was covered in it. I would probably kill more patients with infection than I managed to save. What the hell was I doing here? Why did I even try? Anger blazed through me then and found a target in the uniformed man standing next to me.<br><br>
 
   
 
   
“''Get out'',” I snarled. I shoved him hard, leaving blood and gore on his tunic. “Take your damned war with you.” I drew my hand back and he caught my wrist before I could slap him.<br><br>
+
“Get out,” I snarled. I shoved him hard, leaving blood and gore on his tunic. “Take your damned war with you.” I drew my hand back and he caught my wrist before I could slap him.<br><br>
 
   
 
   
 
“Don’t,” he said, something flickering in his eyes, there and gone in an instant.<br><br>
 
“Don’t,” he said, something flickering in his eyes, there and gone in an instant.<br><br>
 
   
 
   
“''Goddamn you, get out!''” Screaming now, I turned my anger loose. I rained blows and invective on him until I could no longer stand from sobbing. I cried then, cried for the child I couldn’t save, for the mother who would bury her, for every broken thing I couldn’t fix. If I raged hard enough, if I fought hard enough, I could make it stop. I could make it stop.<br><br>
+
“Goddamn you, get out!” Screaming now, I turned my anger loose. I rained blows and invective on him until I could no longer stand from sobbing. I cried then, cried for the child I couldn’t save, for the mother who would bury her, for every broken thing I couldn’t fix. If I raged hard enough, if I fought hard enough, I could make it stop. I could make it stop.<br><br>
 
   
 
   
 
''Please God make it stop''.<br><br>
 
''Please God make it stop''.<br><br>
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“Starfish, Oksana.”<br><br>
 
“Starfish, Oksana.”<br><br>
 
   
 
   
''You’ll never save them all'', memory whispered. ''Just the save ones you can''.<br><br>
+
You’ll never save them all, memory whispered. Just the save ones you can.<br><br>
 
   
 
   
 
I’d been six, vacationing at the beach with family and friends. During our stay, we found the shore covered by thousands of starfish stranded after a storm. No matter how many we threw back, there were always more we couldn’t save. I was devastated to see them die. One of my brother’s older friends took me aside and said those words to console me. He later moved away and our families lost touch, but his words remained.<br><br>
 
I’d been six, vacationing at the beach with family and friends. During our stay, we found the shore covered by thousands of starfish stranded after a storm. No matter how many we threw back, there were always more we couldn’t save. I was devastated to see them die. One of my brother’s older friends took me aside and said those words to console me. He later moved away and our families lost touch, but his words remained.<br><br>
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<br><br><br>
 
<br><br><br>
 
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Go to [[Those Who Stare In The Black, Season One: Purpose And Place|'''Season One: Purpose And Place''']] | [[Those_Who_Stare_In_The_Black:_Timeline|'''Timeline''']] | [[Those_Who_Stare_In_The_Black#Index|'''Those Who Stare In The Black''']]<br>
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Go to [[Those_Who_Stare_In_The_Black:_Timeline|Timeline]]<br>
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Go to [[Those_Who_Stare_In_The_Black#Index|Those Who Stare In The Black]]<br>

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