Editing Shadowboxing

<span style="color:#800000">''' ''(Many thanks to Andy for doing this with me. Thanks, Andy!--Maer)'' '''</span>
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Jump to [[Shadowboxing, Part 2| Shadowboxing, Part 2]]


'''28 Sep 2520''' <br>
'''Kuiper II Class, ''Summer’s Gift'''''<br>
'''En route to Pericles Station'''<br>
'''13:15hrs, ships time'''<br>

&nbsp;***
<br />
''Katate-dori ikkyo''. Joshua grabbed his imaginary ''uke'', or attacker, by the elbow and wrist and leveraged them to the ground. Having to imagine a partner was not helping his skills, he thought. At least as ''uke'', he could perform the moves with no defender needed. But as ''tori'' or defender, he needed an attacker and must bring one into being via pure imagination. It couldn't be helped.

In the voice of an older Japanese man, he announced his next move. "Second technique, ''shomen'uchi nikkyo''." He was focused so intently on the technique that he didn't notice Rina coming in.
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I paused on the threshold of the crew lounge when I heard Joshua's voice, looked up and seeing him, I leaned on the jamb and waited for him to finish his move.
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
As his imaginary attacker came at him with a knife-like strike to the head, Joshua grabbed ''uke'' by the wrist, twisting it into a lock designed to create intense pain. He could even see the knife hitting the floor of the ship as the pain shot through his imaginary companion's arm. He bowed to his foe and to the mat, preparing to start third technique when he saw Rina there and smiled. "Hi there. Did you need me to vacate the space? I can do this training in my room if you need it."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Since I know your room is pretty much like mine for elbow room, please don't.  The bulkhead will win any argument you bring to bear on it." I stepped all the way inside.  "Were you …fighting someone?  I thought I recognized a knife move, but I couldn't be sure."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
He nodded. "''Shomen'uchi'' is a knifehand strike to the head. Nikkyo is the wristlock applied by the defender." He demonstrated it again slower as illustration. "Aikido normally requires an attacker and a defender to practice. Since I am without, I make do by imagining my opposite. Valid, if not ideal." Joshua shrugged slightly. "Even if I'm not improving, it's not the only thing or even the primary thing to get out of it anyway."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"If you'd like a partner, I'm game."  I set my towel aside on the bench and kicked my boots off underneath it.  I wore my usual—tank with jog top under it, exercise shorts—and my feet were bare.  I walked over to Joshua and stood with my hands on my hips.  "Where do you want me?"
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
He should've have guessed she'd volunteer but somehow he was still surprised. He pointed her towards a spot about ten feet away. "Let me explain something first. Normally, this is a very measured thing. You, as the attacker, perform a move, and then willingly let me perform the defensive move on you. So less about combat, more about stepping through the moves. Does that make sense?" Rina's style was about as far from standard Aikido as possible, but having a partner of any sorts was good, and having the company was even better.
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&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Okay."  I retreated to the requisite spot on the mat and nodded. 
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
He nodded back and bowed to her. "Third technique. Ganmen-tsuki sankyo. You're going to come at me with a punch to the face and I'm going to apply a rotational wristlock." He then put himself in position, hands up slightly, his body facing slightly left, waiting for Rina's approach.
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
I nodded and drew closer, then feinted with my right and plowed for his face with my left.
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&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
As she came at him with the punch, Joshua stepped slightly to the side and grabbed her left wrist in motion, twisting in a motion designed to cause tension to spiral upward through Rina's arm, elbow, and shoulder.
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Pain ripped through me as he torqued my arm right up and brought me to my knees.  I sucked in air against the pain and mentally kicked myself—my shoulder still reminded me of its mistreatment a year ago whenever I pushed it. 
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
He quickly let go of her wrist in shock. "I'm so sorry, are you okay?" She had come at him much harder than he had expected and he had reacted in turn. "That's my fault for not explaining better." He got down on his knees with her and took a closer look at the shoulder. "Want me to go get Arden?"
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"No, don't."  I shook my head with a jerk and sat back on my haunches, flexing my hand and moving my shoulder in a slow shrug up and down.  I rubbed my collarbone, feeling the scar through my tank top and even after a year, it still felt foreign.  "It would only make him angry.  Just give me a minute."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
He stood up and stepped back. "I should have explained that practice tends to be at slower speed," he said. "It is for learning technique, but also like a form of meditation. Even the name reflects that. Way of the Harmonized Spirit." He shook his head. "When you came at me at that speed, I should have let you connect or just rolled out of the way." He should've known better too. Scars mean potential pain points.
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Please, don't apologize, Joshua."  The pain faded as I knew it would and I rose and sucked it in. "It's my own damn fault.  I never could do anything by halves.  Practice to me is just another form of combat and I don't do it unless I mean it.  I should have warned you."  I raked my hair back.  "And now I have.  So…want to do that again?  I promise to go slow."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
He nodded in agreement. "I would, although I still take responsibility as the teacher in this situation." He positioned himself back in the starting point. "Let's run through a few moves that are less likely to aggravate that shoulder." And he guided her through several throws, having her come at him with punches at different levels and grabs with either one hand or both.
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;It was good advice and I took it, knowing that Joshua had the advantage of knowledge and experience over me on this one.  Not that I minded.  I'd been thinking on expanding my brawling repertoire and assimilating Aikido looked to be a good idea.  So I let him guide me through the exercise and tried to suss out the reasoning behind his moves.  It was a more formal style of fighting than I knew and it was interesting and time disappeared as we went through the lesson.
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
As Rina grew more comfortable with the practice, so did Joshua and he lost himself in it in a way that he hadn't since he had left Blue Sun. He felt at peace as he stepped through ''ryote-dori iriminage'' and ''mune-tsuki kotegashi'', moves that he had practiced thousands of times. They were comforting and steadying. After a while, he held up his hand and stopped the practice. "That's probably enough for right now. Did you see how I'm constantly yielding to your attacks? Very different from what I imagine you're used to. If you'd like to learn sometime, I would love to teach you where you stand in as ''tori'' - the defender."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I turned the concept of yielding as a position of strength over in my head and I admit, it intrigued me.  However, now that we'd stopped I'd become aware that I was dripping with sweat and Joshua wasn't much drier. I shrugged and was glad my shoulder didn't complain.  Arden had told me to baby it and it would be back to its old self in six months.  Circumstances had prevented coddling and my comeback was slower as a result.  I knew that I shouldn't push it, not while my shoulder was still happy with me.<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"I'd like that, but can we save it for another time?"
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
"Oh, sure." He ought to be feeling tired, but it had been a good session and those tended to energize him rather than tire him.. "It's very odd, picturing myself as a teacher, you know." Joshua dropped himself down and sat cross-legged on the floor. He motioned next to him for Rina to sit, but as he did so, he realized that she had definitely gotten a workout out of it and might want to get a shower. "If you don't want to sit, never mind me. I just usually take a few minutes to reflect after practice."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I hated coddling and tried not to let my irritation show. After all, I was the one who intruded on Joshua's time alone.  Lord knows, a ship this size had space aplenty to get lost in but crews being what they are, privacy was still a dear commodity.  And he had spoken with the air of a man intending to talk and I wanted to hear what he had to say.<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;So I shook my head and sat down, going through some cool-down stretches to keep from stiffening up.
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
"I'm nowhere near the master Naoto-san was." He smiled a little at thinking of his teacher's always calm voice and the way he had of projecting that calm to everyone around him. "Of course, he'd say he wasn't a master." He slipped into his teacher's deeper voice again. "There is no end, there is only the path." Then back to his own voice again. "You know what that means, right? It's not about end goals, it's all about the journey..." and he trailed off. ''All about the journey.'' Had he really been that blind that half the answers to his questions were right there in front of him?
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;By now I was getting used to Joshua's mimicry and his switching voices barely threw me.  However before I could answer his query I could see something click inside his head and I remained silent as he trailed off to think it through.<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''All about the journey.''  We'd been telling him variations of that for weeks and it was finally sinking in.  ''Better late than never.''<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I kept silent and kept on stretching.
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
Stop worrying about where you're going and start understanding what you're doing right now. They'd been saying that to him but he hadn't heard. Or rather he had heard, but he hadn't listened. "Damn, I'm an idiot, aren't I?" Joshua looked at Rina as he lifted a hand up and wiped some sweat off his forehead, pushing his bangs back.. "I would say it is okay for you to agree with me, but I'm pretty sure you don't need my okay for that."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Not touching that one," I grinned up at him from a leg stretch. "Any part of it."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
"I think I finally have it, Rina." He adjusted his sitting position slightly as one of his legs started aching. "I just need to see what each day brings, and if I put myself to completely experiencing it, what I'm supposed to be doing will work itself out." He chuckled. "It sounds easy when I say it that way, but it only took months and putting your shoulder in severe pain for me to figure it out. At that rate, it'll take me the good part of a decade to prove I have a soul."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I continued stretching as I thought on what to say.  I didn't want to cheapen the revelation with a wisecrack. Neither did I want to trot out a platitude.  Joshua deserved better from me.  I settled on the truth.<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"The learning curve is pretty steep around here and I think you'll find that it won't take a decade."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
"It's fine." He made a little waving motion with his hand. "I think I've come to peace with it anyway. There's nothing I could do to prove it to someone who thinks I don't have one." He pulled the small silver cross he had been wearing out of his pants pocket where he stuffed it for safekeeping during practice. "This is what really kind of upset me most, I guess. If I end up manufactured, the soul or not, the idea of family was as fake as everything else Blue Sun provided for me."

He shrugged and put the cross back in his pocket. "But I don't have any control over that either. The idea of living day-to-day helps with that too, I guess. Why drown myself in pity?"
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Why indeed?"  I rose and offered him a hand up.  "I never had much use for self-pity, myself.  Too destructive."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
He took her hand and stood up. "Thanks for playing ''uke'' for me, Rina." He bowed to her. "I should have done that when we finished."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
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&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"I never stand on ceremony if I don't have to," I said, returning the courtesy of a bow.  "And thank you for letting me do this with you.  You're a good teacher."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
"Ceremony has its place." He grinned. "You've been a good student. And to be honest, it feels more like I was the student today. That's not a bad thing though."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"The day you stop learning," I said as I fetched my towel, "is the day you stop living."<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The endorphins from a good workout were settling in and it was making me talkative.  Not too long ago, that would have been my cue to shut up.  ''Now? Not so much.''  And it was a revelation of sorts that I realized I didn't mind.<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Study hard.  Live forever."  I chuckled.  "Or something like that, anyway."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
He put his hand on her other shoulder. "Something like that. Now, let's get out of here before the Shepherd finds me again."
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Teacher before the student," I said, bowing out from under his hand and waving him to the door.  I grabbed my boots by their laces and flipped my towel around my neck as I went.  "As for the Shepherd, if he bothers you, you can always come hide with me.  I know he's a Shepherd and deserving of respect, but …. I don't know."<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I looked around to be certain we were alone before continuing.  I didn't want what I was going to say to get back to the man in question.<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"The way I see it, Shepherd or not, he had no business saying you had no soul.  That's a hell of a thing to say when first meeting someone."  I'd pieced it together, eavesdropping on their conversations as I went about my duties and I could see the concept of being soulless bothered Joshua deeply.  These past two months had supplied more than enough proof to convince me that Joshua was firmly in the ensouled camp.  I'd run into enough bastards who weren't to recognize them when I saw them.  And while I cannot say I've been innocent of making such pronouncements of people, I at least waited until I'd had sufficient proof before making them.<br> 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Mostly.
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
"I didn't like it, and while I'd prefer not to continue the conversation with him more than necessary..." he shrugged. "I understand why he said it. He's faithful in what he believes. I have to respect that."
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&nbsp;***
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&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Fair enough, but what does he believe? What's his agenda?"
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
"Do you think we should move somewhere a little more private?" As he said it, he chuckled a little. "That could totally be taken the wrong way. This crew is totally changing the way I view things, you know. I was going to suggest your room, but then I realized that two hot and sweaty people coming out of your room might give people the wrong idea."

He caught himself glancing around for people. Part of the trained chameleon package, he thought. You pick up on the people around you. Right now, it was Rina's general edginess that he was grabbing. "Any ideas?"
<br /><br />
&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I saw the wheels turning and knew what he must be thinking. That learning curve was rising and he was rising right along with it. I smiled down at the deck and bit my lips, then looked up at him, amused.<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"How about you shower first and when I'm done with mine, we meet back at your quarters. If it makes you feel safer, you can say you need me to fix something. Will that suit?"
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&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
He nodded. "Sure, that's fine. I'm not worried about me. Just don't want the crew, or more importantly, the Shepherd, to think I'm taking advantage. Or that you're taking advantage. Or something." He shrugged and threw his hands up a little. "Anyway, I never spend time in my quarters, so nobody will look for us there." Not that it was a huge enough ship to get lost in, he thought.

"I'll see you in a few." And he headed off to get cleaned up.
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&nbsp;***
<br /><br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I managed not to chuckle. Joshua was little-brother cute when he got flustered.