Editing Suppositions and Solidarity

An RP with Terri concerning the events in Game 25.0, after her blow up with Christian at dinner.



Several hours after dinner adjourns, Nika taps on the engine room door and lets herself in. Since we're on the ground, she knows she'll find the ship's engineer in here tinkering with something. "Hey," she calls. "Got a minute?" 

Rina was sitting at her console and at Nika's knock she looked up from her paperwork

"For you? Always." She hooked a foot around a shop chair and pushed it the pilot's way. "Have a seat."

With a brief smile, Nika closes the door behind her and says, "I figured I better.... how'd I put it to Christian? 'Call off the Russian hit squad' for him." She shrugs a bit. "Sorry our personal beef hit the dinner table."

"'Russian hit squad'?" Rina grinned tightly. "At your service. Seriously, he was this close to chewing shit-flavored shoe leather for a week." Rina clipped her pen to the papers and pushed her work aside. She leant forward, planted her elbows on her knees and looked at her friend. "You've been giving him the polite cold shoulder for days and then dinner happens. So. Wanna tell me what that was all about?"

Nika looks away, toward the engineering instruments. "It wasn't what he meant, but.... my take on what got said was 'I know you better than you know yourself, you're in love with someone else and you're just using Arden as a substitute until something better comes along,'" she finally replies. "And being as he's the //second// person in six months to presume they know my relationship with Brian, a man this crew's only met one time very briefly, better than I do myself.... I took it a bit sideways of what he intended."

"Oh." Rina had the grace to look contrite. "I had a hand in that, apparently. I'd blame it on the Brimstone...but I'd be lying. I'm sorry, I shouldn't've said anything to you in the hayloft.  You might not have taken his comments the wrong way had I just held my tongue."

She sighed and fiddled with the papers, then scowled and stowed them away in the shallow drawer beneath the console. Rina settled back in her chair again and crossed her arms to keep from fidgeting.

"So Christian presumed that he knew everything he needed to know after meeting Brian only once? Oh, please. That's like saying he knows everything about me and Mike at first glance. It can't be done."

"Oh, he has an opinion about the two of you, too, I'm sure," Nika comments mildly. In point of fact, she knows so, but she's not going to say so. "I highly recommend that if you ever ask him to spit it out and say what he means, though, you brace yourself mightily, because what comes out.... may just be a slap in the face." She smiles faintly. "Still. I didn't want you to get in the middle of the brawl."

"Thanks," Rina said. She was used to odd notions about her relationship with Mike, but that didn't mean she had to take them lying down. "I'd only make it worse. Still....on a related issue, it might do him some good to get his clock cleaned. Personally, I'd like to get him onto the mat and beat the tar out of him on a regular basis. It might make him stand up and fight back, for a change, instead of just talking his opponents to death." She rolled her eyes in disgust. "I don't think I've ever seen a male so disinclined toward confrontation in my life. Maybe it's reverse-chauvinism, but sometimes he's just too ....girly... to take seriously."

***

Nika smirks faintly. "Well, if I liked the sensitive type, I'd go for him," she comments. "He's just too pretty for words. And I'm just not secure enough to go for a guy prettier'n me," she laughs.

Rina laughed with her. "Hell, Nika, you've got it rough. I've got it easy--ANY guy is prettier than me."

There's a roll of her eyes when Rina denigrates herself that way, and the blonde replies, "Seems to me you don't quite know how to look in a mirror, Rina. You're not model-pretty, but it seems to me that would be a hardship as often as not anyway. You have an interesting face, and it means something when you really smile. So... don't go putting yourself down. It isn't all about looks."

Rina snaps her fingers and grimaces. "Damn, she's on to me."

She sobers.

"I've reason to distrust good looks in men. Few of them in my experience lived up to the image because for them, it was all about the looks and nothing about the substance. And to be sure, most of the Verse was willing to grant them a pass because most of the Verse was satisfied with the surface." She crossed her arms and put her feet up on the console, and continued conversationally. "I may never tell him this, but it was one of the reasons it took me so long to warm up to Mike when I first met him. You have to admit, he looks pretty fine when he has to.

“And before you start spouting psycho-babble about how I'm projecting and using defensive camouflage to avoid notice, you'd only be half right. I look the way I look because most times I don't particularly care how I look. And that carries over in how I describe myself. It makes no real matter to me.

“As for the part where you're half-right...well, you're half right.”

There's a moment's pause, and then Nika slants Rina a slow, lazy grin. "You don't //honestly// want to compare notes or anything, do you?" she asks, mischief glinting in those blue eyes as she reminds subtly that she does indeed have very intimate knowledge of exactly how fine Michael Carter's cute bod is. "I will say this for the man, though... he's aging right nicely," she says in an amused drawl. Maybe she's just doing it to tease Rina, though.

Rina's answering grin was almost wolfish.

"No argument from me there. He's picked up a couple of new ones since we last met, though."

Nika laughs outright at Rina, appreciation for the fact the women can actually talk about this just a little without it being a 'thing' between them. She moves to plop into the chair Rina offered earlier and says, "Brian's a little like Mike." It's the first time in the year they've been on this ship that she's actually //volunteered// anything in the way of really personal stuff.

"Well, don't stop there," Rina chuckled. "Tell me more."

Nika shrugs just a bit, and she looks toward the machinery. Talking about this one is probably harder for her than any other relationship she's got. She'll talk about Harry and Shyla til the cows come home, but Brian's... different. "He's a cut-up," she finally says, almost dismissively but the tone is perhaps a little forced, a way to show that they're 'casual.' "He's always watching, always alert. He and Harry were Shyla's bridge crew when I was recruited to help them fly /Harbinger/ out of Alliance hands. They were the only original crew that Shyla retained." She considers. "He's a shooter," she tells the engineer mildly. "But sort of like your Mike, he's got this... indefinable something. When I met Mike, he was pretty intense but he had this ability to compartmentalize it all ... and he still was able to find kindness for a kid who was stupid enough to think she could play his game." She smiles at Rina. "Brian has that too -- he can be a complete bastard, a cold-blooded killer... and when you need it most, he can turn his back on it and just be the 'guy', if you know what I mean."

Rina sat silent, taking it all in with her eyes on the middle distance.

"It's always that indefinable something, isn’t' it?" she said after a moment, her voice soft. "I confess, it threw me. Took me weeks to figure out what it was that made Mike so....likeable, when I first met him. Mind, the first time I met him, it was at the end of a fist and a curse, and both aimed at him. But it didn't faze him. And after a while I finally nailed it, what made him unique and uniquely suited to what he does:

''"See first that the design is wise and just:<br>
that ascertained, pursue it resolutely;<br>
do not for one repulse forego the purpose that you resolved to effect."''

He doesn't quit. Ever. Once he's made up his mind about something--person or thing or action--he sticks to it. He's flexible, don't get me wrong, and he'll go with the flow as the situation demands...but when it comes to the deep-down, he determines what's important and he sticks with it."

She looked up at Nika.

"Mike looked at me and decided at some point that no matter what I threw at him, he was staying the course. And he knew the only way to win was to never prevaricate, never pose, but to deal honestly. And in the end, he won. But by the end, it had ceased to be a contest and winning and losing no longer mattered."

Rina grinned and shook off her mood.

"Neither did clothes, if I recall correctly."

Nika laughs softly. "That's exactly it. It's the never-quit thing, I think. Well... and the fact that he always kept me guessing." The expression on her face as she leans her head back against her seat is affectionate and thoroughly amused. "He spent like.... must have been two months or more keeping me thoroughly off-balance. He'd corner me in a hallway or play footsie with me under the dinner table or ... sometimes he'd just pick on me, make me laugh, pull my hair. Total guy crap." Her smile's soft, a bit sad. "When I got word that my father had died... he kept trying to feed me." She laughs then at that. "He didn't know what else to do, I think, he just... sat with me on the bridge, utterly silent, for hours. Spent a ton of time keeping everyone else off me."

Rina smiled down into her lap and then looked up when Nika finished.

"It's the contrast between the rough and smooth, the strong and the tender, that gives depth to a man and makes him so damned appealing, isn't it?... that makes him more than just being about the surfaces of things. It's a perspective and a way of carrying yourself that only age or hard knocks can give you and in my experience, it's the rare individual that can possess all that without being run through the wringer first."

She paused and her expression sobered.

"I can't say for certain which way it ended up for your Brian, but for my Mike, I'd say he'd been rode hard and put away wet a few times before we met. We understand each other because it's something we both have in common and it's one of the things that makes us a good fit, even after all these years. If you've got the same with Brian, Nika, cherish it. It's a gift and one the Universe rarely gives up."

Nika looks at Rina and says quietly, "Regardless of what I feel for Brian, or he for me... like you and Mike, there are things that have to be done first now. If I'd gone back to /Harbinger/ instead of running? Maybe it'd be different. But I didn't and it isn't. And I can't entirely say as I'm sorry about that, Rina." She pauses and says softly as she looks away again, "I miss the talking. I miss ... having someone who's been where I've been for the last decade, knows what I've been through, and can just ... /talk/ to me. Part of me will probably always regret running. Wonder if I've screwed things royally just by... being here instead of there. But I can't change it, so ..." She looks at the engineer. "Here we are. What Christian thinks he knows? What I think I know? It doesn't mean much out here. But I'd really appreciate everyone keeping their suppositions and good intentions to themselves." Her tone is gentle; she doesn't want to alienate people, but she's drawing her line in the sand with her relationship with Brian.

"And I've put my foot in it again," Rina grimaced. "I intended to say that I support what you've got with Brian, Nika, and am glad you have it. And that I hope it lasts as long as what I've got with Mike. Because it sounds like we're two women in similar circumstances. That's what I meant. How it came out, apparently, was not what I intended and I'm sorry for that."

She paused and said wistfully, "You know, I wouldn't mind talking about men a little more. It's crap not having a woman to talk men with--stuck as we are on a boat full of men who'd get the wrong idea...Their egos bruise so easily sometimes."

"I don't mind talking," Nika replies quietly. "Been about three years since I talked to //anyone//," she admits wistfully. "But I don't want.... urgings on what to do about it, or pressure. Because frankly? I don't //know// what Brian thinks. And I'd rather have what I have with him than to push it and lose that too. Maybe that's a crap way to live, but ... they've been the constant in my life for almost half of it. I knew even when I ran that I could always go back -- //can// always go back. Unless I royally burn some bridges. I don't want to put pressure on him, and if he's not wanting to put it on me, then we'll keep on keeping on just the way we are and be content."

"You know what works for you. I won't ask you to change it. Like I said, what I say and what I mean sometimes has a serious disconnect." Rina sighed, then grinned. "Tell me something, though. Does he hog the blankets?"

Nika laughs. "No... he throws them off on me. Swear to God, the man burns like he's got an internal furnace when he sleeps. He does hog the bed, though."

"Mike runs a bit warm on the meter, too," Rina chuckled. "But he's not a roamer. He plants himself on his half of the mattress and doesn't budge. On the other hand, I've never seen anyone sleep lighter, either. Anything that moves within range, he's gotta crack an eye open and check it out. Just like a gorram cat."

She ran her hands through her hair, frowning.

"For damned sure, he's got as many lives as a cat, too. Some of those scars on him...I'm sure one damned well killed him. It's something I keep track of, whenever we meet. Calll it curiosity, or being just plain morbid, but there's a story written there if you know how to read it, and it saves him from having to say it."

Having never seen the man sleep, Nika wouldn't know about that part. She grins faintly as a memory of the man they're talking about flits through her head, her expression fond but not really nostalgic. It's just a nice memory. "I remember thinking at the time I'd have liked the chance to ask him about some of them," she admits softly. "You caught yourself a good one, Rina," she says, swinging her chair around. "I think maybe Brian was mad at me when it all came down." She pulls Rina's databook to her and connects to her mail account, pulling up a screen dated years ago. She turns it to face Rina, and it has an image of Harbinger's crew on it, along with a candid shot that the subject clearly didn't know was taken of Brian Connelly. "When I was so torn up about the thing I helped Mike with, Brian and I weren't anything except crewmates. But he was mad that I turned elsewhere over it.... and it was about then that he seemed to decide to push."

Rina leaned forward and regarded the man on the screen, eyes narrowing as she appraised what she saw. Decent, she decided, with an edge to it.

"Brian's no slouch in the catch department, either, from what I can see. And I can understand why he was upset you turned to Mike rather than him. After all, Mike was just passing through and men like that usually spell trouble. Speaking of trouble...." Rina swiveled her databook back to Nika and settled back in her chair.

"Mike told me a little of what happened on that job. He told me that was when the Independents found out about the PDTs and how they...well. You were there. And he'd told me that a woman had been instrumental in breaking the subject down to confess, but he didn't say anything more beyond the fact that he thought she'd make a good clandestine operative when the situation warranted. As for the reason Brian was mad at you...Mike doesn't tell those kinds of war stories. What you two did together is your secret to keep."

Nika looks at her and says quietly, "I ain't planning on telling you any more than you already figured out on your own, but I will say this: It was //because// he was just passing through. And maybe because he just flat understood how very much I hated myself right then." She shrugs a little and laughs. "I think when he came on board he was .... weirded out. Afraid I'd want something from him or something. But it was just a moment in time, Rina. He's a good guy, and I'd be mighty honored if he chose to consider us friends, but .... I don't want your guy. Hope both you //and// he know that."

"'Weirded out'? How do you mean?" Rina looked genuinely puzzled.

"I mean," Nika replies tartly, "that he avoided me like the killer plague for the first few weeks he was here." She grins at Rina. "Not sure if he was embarrassed or what. It was actually something of a shock to me that he'd react that way." She shrugs and asks with a grin, "Didn't you ever wonder why he and I had hardly three words to say to one another?"

***

Rina grew very still and looked aside, thoughts flickering behind her eyes. Then she nodded.

"That's right. He didn’t. But then," Rina said quietly, looking back at her friend. "That first week or so, he wasn't in any condition to say much to anyone. Ask my neck about that sometime." She unconsciously rubbed it. "And I confess, at the time I was too preoccupied with keeping my hands off him to notice who he wasn't putting his hands on, because it wasn't me."

Rina leaned forward and said earnestly, "But really and truly, I never thought you wanted him. Never. You're not a poacher, Nika, and I know that. When it comes to Mike, you're fine with me. God, what do I have to say or do to make you believe that?"

Nika watches her and nods slowly. "It still.... catches me sometimes. They were vivid nightmares," she confesses. "I, uhm.... yeah, you don't want to know some of the things I dreamed. Really." She smiles faintly. "I think he worked through it eventually. Like I said... I'd be honored if he considered us friends." She smiles.

"I think that's a given," Rina said firmly. "Besides, I make it a point to never dictate who his friends are, and he never dictates mine. And you're mine. I'm willing to share you with him." She grinned wickedly. "It would be an interesting exercise to see what sort of trouble you, Brian, Mike and I could get up to, should we be so lucky. I'm thinking....explosions, fast ships, and gunplay. How about you?"

Rina sobered again.

"As for the rest of it...the past, the nightmares...I'll help as much as you'll let me, but I expect you know by now my bedside manner is simply craptastic. But I'm here if you need me."

There's a full-out laugh at that. "Good Lord, could you see it? You, me, Brian, and Mike... I think we'd level the place, whatever it was we were up to." Nika is royally amused by that mental image. And she grins at Rina. "And yes... I do in fact know that your bedside manner leaves much to be desired."

"Oh, yeah," Rina laughed. "Much. When there's no more room for improvement, that's when you're laid out in your coffin and buried. Of course, knowing me, I'd probably find a way to air condition Hell as a distraction and pick the locks on St. Peter's gates before the Devil knew I was gone. And knowing Mike, he'd be right there beside me. Lord knows, we've made the trip to and back for each other enough times already."

It makes Nika smile to hear Rina talk about Mike that way.... and part of her wonders if he'll ever be the same guy for Rina again. She hopes so. It looked promising when they all split up. "Well, if he could see where we've ended up now, he'd probably laugh his ass off at us. All this waffling about for months, we shoulda just come in the first place. Taken the run when we first learned the others were going." She rolls her eyes.

All the levity left Rina's expression as she replied, "What makes you think that Mike isn't already there and is just waiting for us to get the clue and join him?"

Glancing at the engineer, Nika says quietly, "Frankly, it wouldn't shock me a bit." She heaves a sigh. "What I'm hoping is that we find 'em all still in one piece, that's all." Worry for her other family clouds her blue eyes as she pushes out of her chair. "Maybe we'll get the chance to sort it out after all this."

"I'm certain of it. Mike is there, and so is Harbinger. It's the only scenario that fits the evidence. Look," Rina leaned forward and ticked the points off on her fingers. "One: Mike told us he was sent to Beaumonde and Nguyen to heal a schism brewing between the extremist element of the Resistance and the moderates. Two: The job he was working with Nguyen involved the Pax. Three: We know that Edward Gibbons is working inside the system to expose Blue Sun's involvement with Miranda's death and the Reavers...and that means involving the Pax, and quite possibly the Beaumonde job. Four: Mike's been on Harbinger at least once before. There's nothing to say he hasn't been back again. He wasn't surprised when you suggested we put him off with Harbinger, back when we'd first got him out. Why? I say Mike knows Harbinger better than you or I suspect, and that means he's had to have flown with them for some time. Five: Swordsman was at the clinic where Blue Sun was keeping Mike. Why? Was he playing Inquisitor or Ally? We just assumed he was the enemy. Maybe he was looking for information on Miranda, Zarathustra, and the Pax variants and Mike was the best candidate to give him what he wanted. Six: And now we find the course Arden's been set on leads right back to Miranda and Zarathustra and the Pax. Seven: And now thanks to Gibbons, we're going that way, too, all aside from our obligation to help Arden."

Rina shook her head.

"If you ask me, we're all involved, everything and everybody is interconnected. Us, Swordsman, Gibbons, Nguyen, Chempliance, the Pax...Miranda. It's all going down at Miranda. Or close enough as makes no difference."

Rina hugged her arms around herself and said, her voice thin, "Mike will be there. Either as a coordinator, a player or observer, I cannot say. But I fully expect him to be there. The answers he needs as to what the bastards did to him are there, so that's where he's going. And that's why he ran me off on Salisbury. He didn't want me following him." She laughed a breath of a laugh. "Boy, is he going to be surprised."

Nika just laughs and wraps her arms around Rina companionably. "Well, ain't they all? Hang in there, girl, we're on our way. With lots and lots of weapons too," she chuckles. "Let's blow 'em all to hell, whatever's going on. I'm heading back to the bridge. See you in a bit for dinner."

“The Last Supper of the Damned?” Rina snorted.  “I wouldn’t miss it. I’ll save you a seat, Nika, and I’ll see you there.”