Editing Character Vignettes

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Malika stared for a long moment. “She's a... she's interested in Hana? But... I mean, Hana's not... is she?”
 
Malika stared for a long moment. “She's a... she's interested in Hana? But... I mean, Hana's not... is she?”
  
''“They'' aren't,” said Sorcha, firmly. “Hana hasn't noticed. Honestly, I don't think that Hana gets it at all. Have you noticed? Talk about boys with Judy and she'll change the subject, but talk about boys with Hana and she just doesn't get it. Anyway, Juds is in love with Hana, and that's that.”
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“They aren't,” said Sorcha, firmly. “Hana hasn't noticed. Honestly, I don't think that Hana gets it at all. Have you noticed? Talk about boys with Judy and she'll change the subject, but talk about boys with Hana and she just doesn't get it. Anyway, Juds is in love with Hana, and that's that.”
  
 
“But...” Malika didn't understand this at all. Why would Judy be in love with Hana, and not Hana's handsome and clever and nice older brother Jason? “So it doesn't... bother you?”
 
“But...” Malika didn't understand this at all. Why would Judy be in love with Hana, and not Hana's handsome and clever and nice older brother Jason? “So it doesn't... bother you?”
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“Who? All they'd do is put her in a home or something, and she'd lose her friends, and probably get treated just as bad,” Judy pointed out. “We can't let her just sleep out in the streets, though.”
 
“Who? All they'd do is put her in a home or something, and she'd lose her friends, and probably get treated just as bad,” Judy pointed out. “We can't let her just sleep out in the streets, though.”
  
Malika thought about it. “Why don't I ask her over tonight? Since my sister got married, we've got a little more space. I think I have some clothes that'd fit her, and mom goes crazy about cooking for company.” Normally, Malika considered her family, especially her mother, far too traditionalistic and embarrassing to expose her friends to, but if it meant that Emma would have a roof over her head, a hot shower, and a full stomach, it was well worth it.
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Malika thought about it. “Why don't I ask her over tonight? Since my sister got married, we've got a little more space. I think I have some clothes that'd fit her, and mom goes crazy about cooking for company.” Normally, Malika considered her family, especially her mother, far to traditionalistic and embarrassing to expose her friends to, but if it meant that Emma would have a roof over her head, a hot shower, and a full stomach, it was well worth it.
  
 
Judy smiled brightly. “Perfect. Thank you, Malika. That's...”
 
Judy smiled brightly. “Perfect. Thank you, Malika. That's...”

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