Editing Delwin and Alvah talk once more

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
After a couple of days, Alvah had shown Agrom around a bit. Showing running routes, the docks and boats he can use.
At a quiet moment Alvah looks over her place she runs with Spatchi and Dwyn. She is actually feeling quite proud of her accomplishments.
With a bottle in hand and two clean glasses she walks to the office. Opens the door to the little balcony looking over the water and sets the bottle and glasses on the table.
She then rummages around her desk to find her trumps.
Flicking through it she finds the one of her father.
So much happened in such a short time. However tense the situation she does respect him and she wouldn't want to shut him out completly.
She then focuses on the image of her father.
Trying to contact him for hopefully a tslk. Without an argument.

'''Michael James Watson'''
The trump clears quickly. Delwin wears a fancy coat like a Mississippi riverboat gambler, a bowler hat. Looking up he sets down cards and walks for several minutes. Beside him the lush lower Mississippi river. Entering a small but elegant room he sits, pours a glass of Wine, then regards her.
"Avaxala of Chicago. What a pleasant surprise. What do I owe the honor to? Come seeking my heart?"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah smiles seeing her father his get up and nods appreciative. It suits him.
"Well hello, i thought it has been a while, things had happened. I am in my personal shadow, and i wanted to invite you over. To have a drink and talk.
Let you know how things are going, if interested. And no... not seeiking your heart."
Alvah turns slightly so the starting sunset is visible behind her.

'''Michael James Watson'''
"What's your time ratio?"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
"30 to 1 it is quite fast pased i noticed... "
She holds up her hand.
"I have no bad intent dad, just want to have a normal talk."

'''Michael James Watson'''
"I am in 12 to one. I'll come to you. " he extends his hand

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah reaches out and takes his hand. Gently pulling him through.
She steps back to let Delwin gey orientated she then gestures to the table with lounge chairs and the bottle with glasses.
"If you are hungry i can have some food brought over as well.
Welcome to Jetex. My own little place. This cantina, hotel and such i run with Spatchi and Dwynwen."

'''Michael James Watson'''
"Where in Azcala have you settled? Is Cihalas nearby?"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah shakes her head
"No i don't think Cihalas is nearby. If she was she would have probably tried and get in contact by now... i actually don't really know where in the sway i am... i think it is closerby Untola then Zictla to be honest."

'''Michael James Watson'''
"Sway? Then you are not in the shadows of Azcala proper? No...you aren't.. But.."
He steps forward putting his hand behind her neck, bringing his head to hers, whispering...."oh...by the Unicorn... Your sigil is revealed.."

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah tries to smile a reassuring smile.
"Yeah it kind of happened. Hurt like hell and then some. But it got revealed. Seems i did have an imprint, dad, you know the one you said i didn't have."
She says it with a wink and then waves her hand dismissive
"But i understand why you kept it silent. But that is one of the reasons i want to catch up with you... many things did happen."

'''Michael James Watson'''
"Can I convince you to come home and leave this place and Azcala aside for a century?"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah frowns slightly then she smiles walks to the table pours thentwp glasses full, grabs one and goes to sit in a chair.
When looking up to her father she shrugs slightly.
"That is going to be a hard sell dad. I do not see what could happen which did not already happen or has been attempted to happen. What are you worried about what could happen? Taln to me. Explain... let me see your thoughts and worries in it and i might very well agree."

'''Michael James Watson'''
He smiles, "Worries?...maybe once. But you !are it clear it wasn't my place. I spent time in Azcala. A long time. When you have done so, we will be peers,"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Looking at her father she is silent for a moment downing her drink she fills her glass up again.
A soft sigh escapes Alvah as she leans back in her chair.
"Dad can you at least please sit? Have a drink?
And i never told you that you couldn't worry about me... just be honest with me. Don't expect me to blindly follow you because you say it is better that way... "
Alvah stares out over the ocean admiring the sunset which almost makes it like the water is on fire.
"Dad, you raised me... you know how i work.. nothing about that changed.... "
A soft chuckle as she thinks back.
"All the things you did for me then made sense and you always told me why.... why does that have to stop? Well you didn't always tell me why but sometimes it wss just clear... the need for extra tutors... why Fisk was there. Why Nur was there even for a short time. The martial arts lessons, the ballet lessons... Forcing me into the Marine training which was only good for me."
With a proud smile she looks at Delwin again
"I still dance, and I still love to do it... "
With a serious look she continues
"Dad i don't ask to be peers... i ask just honesty and to talk. I won't lie to you what i've done or am planning to do. Lets just talk.
You ask me if you can convince me to come home and leave it all for a century, why?"

'''Michael James Watson'''
Delwin looks about, takes a seat and pours a glass, sipping it softly, looking at Alvah...
“We used to love to watch you dance. To walk first we thought, as all parents do, walk, before running. But you danced before you could walk...We are archetypes...”
He swirls his glass, looking into it.
“There is a universal truism that you can be free or you can be safe, but don't expect to be both at once. Freedom is not safe. It comes at a cost. Care to hear another universal truism? There are no dangerous weapons. Only dangerous men. “
Swirling the glass.
“Since these two are universal truisms it stands to reason knowing what we know that they are constructs of Order. As such, they are drawn from the Pattern to spread across the universe.. “
Finishing the glass he holds it to look through its bottom...
“You met Harla, didn't you? Briefly? She lives in the past, a piece of paradox in a tower. She paid her price for safety. She made Sand and I pay to be free. She bound us to not attack Amber despite the death they inflicted on her with their casual cruelty and their jests and jabs. Eric and Corwin laughing together. Caine, the rat. Julian the Horse. Gerard the Whale. Deirdre the bitch..You know Harla was queen of Amber for 49 years. In that time she lived well over 300 years. Raising us in Shadow so she lost no time in Amber. Sand and I are fraternal twins you know. As are Nina and Emile. Eve and Eva. Random and Mirelle. A king fertile for so little time and out of 47 children he has 4 sets of twins. In a way you will never understand us, or Amber, without knowing Oberon. Dworkin wrought too well.”
He reaches for the bottle and pours another.
“Alright, you want to talk? You ask first. Then I shall. That is the way of it in Amber, isn't it?”

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah looks at her father as he talks, a smile on her face she loves to hear her father talk. Not that she will say that out loud quickly.
At the end she shakes her head.
"You are right, i will never understand you fully without knowing Oberon. What you all went through. "
Filling up her own glass again she then nods once firmly.
"Yes, sounds fair. The Amber way,"
Alvah thinks for a moment swirling her glass she then nods
"Alright, dad, first question. Your shadow Chicago in which i grew up, it was protected. Noone could easily come in and out without you invitation or knowledge. Still things happened there, the dufiro for one. And i know you blame Nur for that. But another thing.
Remember the dinner after i returned from Rasak? There was a knighting... Merrill of Acadia. How would it be possible for him to grow up in his mindblank state in your personal shadow?"
A short nod.
"That is my first question... to not start with Azcala. " she says with a wink

'''Michael James Watson'''
"I can sense that this shadow of yours has some rudimentary protections. You pushed hardest for a strong time ratio. With your skill at shadow manipulation you can be sure of one thing, reasonably sure of another, hopeful on anything else. It would not be hard to spy on you here remotely. To enter the realm wouldn't be too hard though unless they were highly skilled you would notice it."
"The realm I sought I sought for security first and time ratio second. I wanted you securely grown and trained before Cihals could find you"
" next was Protection from scrying and Trump contacts. Ladtly, a style of magic that was unknown in Azcala and the power to block the use of high and low order magics by anyone in the realm.. I have studied the pattern deeply, indeed, I am the master of one. So I can expect 4 concepts to be heavily in effect. As they are. But..if I grant someone use of thier powers I don't sense everytime they conjure a pizza, cantrip a streetlight to change. Or as it turns out, when they summon a Dufiro or invite thier friend's children come go native there. "

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
"So you say that this is something that just could have happened. That the ones seeking the shadow for Merrill to do his mindblank new start in, by accident fell upon your shadow."
Alvah looks at her father intently
"Is that your answer?"

'''Michael James Watson'''
"Yes. It's just something that could happen; if people you trust betray you. Nur for Dufiro. Fisk for Merrill. Merrill's father is a business associate of his"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah drinks slowly and thinks of his answer she then slowly nods.
"Very well, i get it and understand. Thank you. Now do you have a question in return for me dad?"

'''Michael James Watson'''
He fiddles with the glass, making it spin slowly on the rim on its own..
"I was deceptive about my time in Azcala.. Clearly i hoped it would a thousand years before you put your ass in their sling. I hoped you would be an Adapt of the Pattern, a mistress of its powers, a weapons expert and a seasoned warrior, a formidable force to be reckoned with. Instead you walked the pattern and started using it and decided to make putting yourself in mortal danger your first priority. Sure, you were a marine, but nearly every Amberite has done something similar. I convinced Benedict to send you to Rasak because I hoped it would instill in you some sense of the dangers in Shadow.. Now.. my question: which people of the azcalan family have you dealt with? I don't need the long tale, just their names, maybe a little on your interactions. I know you have mentioned them already but i want it clear I asked this question and that you answered it.

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah nods slowly pouring herself another drink. with a flick of her wrist she produces her little metal case with her urala cigarettes and lights one. laying it on the table for her father.
A playful smile on her face.
"Ah yes... there were only a few that managed to keep me enthralled in training long enough... "
Inhaling deep she thinks for a moment to put it in order. Then a nod
"Alright, the answer to your question,
Which people of the azcalan family have i dealt with, I will not count Zentalas, i have only seen her briefly when we pulled you and Alcona out.
Then after you left Vulsara, i went to look up Xozla, he and i talked for a while. He told me some things of which i was not certain are true or not.
Ofcourse Cihalas, i met her and Aztilios at the Big Tree and when i got all upitty and angry again, i followed them to her home.
Not hte best decision i am just happy Vek was with me. Mom showed me some things, she really really wanted me to be part of the ritual that was happening there in a few days but that didn't happen... mostly. Mom and Zictalas tried to sacrifice Vek which failed. and then the party was over. Got out thanks to Vek"
As she says that she touches her chaos stuff bracelet she got from him. Smiling slightly.
reposing herself again she continues her list.
"So Aztilios and i had some time to talk as well. He is really a mommas boy but funny enough when Vek and i escaped he joined us. He is actually in Amber now. Granted asylum by king Random.
So i met Zictalas, but i did try to keep a distance between us. After some dealing at their sacrificial place... he is a bit pissed. He was at a point very convinced of my position being with them. Eh ... he really doesn't know me.
Lets see.... well Untara but i had met her in Amber ofcourse. "
Alvah thinks and nods while taking a pull of her cigarette.
"So those are of the family, and i have also met, Chicomecoatl and her daughter Xilonen. Had a good conversation with Xilonen and her difuro when Vek and i were in Untola. "
Leaning bakc she nods
"Those i have met and dealt with so to say. Does this satisfy your quesiton, dad?"

'''Michael James Watson'''
"Well enough. Alcona, Aztilios, Xozla, and Untara are in Amber?"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
"Yes as far as i know now, they are all Amber. At least they were before i left to go here."
Alvah looks at her father and then smiles.
"Alright to keep my questions away from Azcala still.
lately i have been remembering more and more about my past, and our time in Chicago, and i recently remembered something that brought up a question.
You put me on ballet, and i don't know if you remember this, must be a drop in an ocean for you.
There was a point i did not want to go back to ballet, the other girls picked on me, and i was kicking and screaming. You picked me up, put me in the car and drove me to ballet anyway. There i had a new teacher. Miss Diana, an older woman. Who was she? She told me i could never speak of what we did in our extra lessons, but she knew you from when you were younger. So i wonder. Who did you call in there as a tutor?"

'''Michael James Watson'''
He laughs, "Did you like her?"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah smiles
"yes i actually did, she was one of the few who actually was able to keep me enthralled in lessons. How weird they might have been. But that is not an answer. You can not answer iwth a question... who was she? And will i ever see her again?"

'''Michael James Watson'''
"You'll see her again. Mandalay doesn't have a king and queen, like other realms. They have Lords of Mandalay and the Lords defer to each other in their expertise. They pair bond, or trio bond, or group well... lets just say Chaos and Amber, at either end can be prissy. Mandalay is more flexible. But the Lords of Mandalay defer to Adrian on matters of power, with his association with Ygg and his having carved Mandalay. They defer to him in foreign policy. They defer to him in musicianship and he is in a general bonding with the Lord of Mandalay that the other lords defer to for her skill at archery and her skill at the dance. And she bore Adrian a small annoying furry child... That teacher was my sister Sand. You will see her again one day. Dance, movement, gymnastics, runs in the line of Harla..Me, Sand, Vance, Nadine, Only Houk and Agrom seem to have no skill at dance.. Though Agrom does battle katas that put to music might look like dance. Watching Houk dance is just.. bizarre."

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah smiles wide and lets out a short and soft laugh
"Hah, so my aunt Sand. Lovely well i'm sure i'll see her again one day. I truly do hope i made her proud. "
Alvah takes a slow but long drink of her glass and then adds softly and a bit more in a sad voice.
"Its a shame i could never do that for you. "
She then shakes her head and pulls up her playful smile again. Though her eyes may betray her emotions.
"so dad, do you have another question for me?"

'''Michael James Watson'''
"I have always been proud of you.. Always. Even when you failed. Perhaps especially then because you recover well. When you left the marines. When you learned.. And I'm proud you have a sense of power and what can be done with it. You sense in me something and you think it means I am not proud of you? No, its that I am afraid for you. I am afraid you will learn hard lessons and pay dark prices...But... I am worried because all of us have. I am afraid I know what yours will be. Zictalas. He wants to place you in the channel of power to Tonacat. A filter of death, to refine the power Tonacat swims in. He wants you to know the methods to rende life into power. And it will eat at your soul till you are like them"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah looks shocked for a moment. She then swallows hard tosses back a drink and fills her glass up again.
A moment she is silent, just staring at her father.
"Ofcourse he wants to put me in that place. Or at least have me slaughtering people on the altar as well. He made that abundantly clear. So did mom. She went even as far. At the moment with the whole ritual thing, that she sacrificed a priest. And she let me feel all the power. none went to Tonacat none went to the pool so to say. Just purely to me. I know she did that to try and hook me. "
Alvah takes a long pull from her cigarette and slowly exhales with a shiver in her breath remembering the awesome powerful feeling.
"But i know she did that to manipulate me. And i know if i start doing things their way... the bloody way... it will end badly for me... and i will lose myself.. "
Looking at her bracelet she got from Vek while she takes another pull she smiles.
"Vek told me, if i ever went to far, off the rail so to say. Like full Tonacats his side crazy that he would lock me up... i told him to then just end me... "
She looks sideways to her father.
"But that was not a question was it... though... thank you. I always had a feeling i couldn't do right for you. I always felt and still feel like messing up. ANd out of frustration and anger i do even more stupid stuff. But it is good to hear i do make you proud. Even if i do not follow the path that you had planned for me..... "
She laughs soft
"But did you have another question dad? "

'''Michael James Watson'''
"Why a Cantina and not a Dance Studio? '

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah laughs an amused laugh.
"ah yes good question, i have been thinking about teaching dancing. but dad. honestly me a teacher... i am no example to go by. I would be a horrible teacher...."
She looks over the ocean with the docks in view to the side she exhales with a smile.
"Spatchi and i talked, even before i really knew about Azcala and what it was about. We talked about food and all that and our love for spicy food, for mexican or well she calls it different, but for this type of food. And we agreed that at a point we would find a shadow where she wanted to just take some time to learn to cook, and run a kitchen. And i liked the idea of having a bar, or cantina. Meeting people. Meeting all sorts of people. And having plenty of victims for my flirtatious moods and such."
She grins wide to her father.
"But i am certain that is not a thing a father wants to hear from his daughter. "

'''Michael James Watson'''
"Flirtatious you call it? Don't be shy about it. It runs in our family. Its why you have an Azcalan mother, a Klingon Nephew and a Abyssal Niece, and an Andorran lover. Not to mention a cousin whose mother committed suicide, and a whole collection of Aunts and Uncles who often only found a strong enough playmate among their kin. Even Sand and I in our early youth when we had no one but each other in Oberon's court."
"I can understand the kitchen... and i guess a cantina with it makes sense. Even running fishing charter boats makes sese since the sea is in the blood of all Amberites. Hell, its on your mother's side too. But you could be a prima ballerina in New York, or London, or Rome, or Fantalin...I'm not criticizing. I've owned a riverboat casino and brothel. A distillery during an age of prohibition. I ran a mercenary company flying 4 wings of12 F-86 Saber jets each. I'm no angel. I guess I wonder what happens next? You have a fast time shadow and I doubt you plan to spend 50 years here. Whats next?"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah laughs
"Alright, yes you are right... there is an itch which is hard to scratch. Luckily Candle has sometimes time for me. But honestly if that is enough.... i don't know. Don't want to come off as a total bitch but.. eh nevermind... "
Leaning back she drinks and smokes before continuing.
"Yes i could be a prima ballerina, and to be absolutely honest with you dad, i would adore to just spend time upon time dancing. Performing in the stagelights."
Alvah closes her eyes inhaling deep to let out a shivering sigh...
"But it wouldn't be real.... like here.. it is just shadow... it would be something i have thought off where i would be a prima ballerina... where is the challenge to perfection in that... it would be so becauee the shadow would be formed that way..."
A slight shrug.
"When i believed Chicago was my world and that earth was all there was... there i felt the challenge to better myself to perform to keep training to prefecting my moves... i'm afraid that is gone now. "
Filling up her glass she downs it quick and fills it again to then just stare at it.
"What is next..... no clue... we have a plan with Azcala... but untill then i don't know."

'''Michael James Watson'''
"You think shadow isn't real? If you danced on stage, would the audience be ghosts? illusions? Or would their pleasure be real? Do you think you are perfect? Sand could dance you into madness. There is a troupe of circus performers in the Black Zone worlds. Shapechangers.. They travel, perform, and the members are more expert then anything possible in the realms they travel. Is their performance unreal because they are shapechangers? Vance and I share a love of Baseball. We each have spent decades in shadow, playing, being greats, putting on performances. Was the joy our teams got unreal? We trained teams and when we left those players trained others. The challenge isn't can you be the best, but can you make those with you rise to their best.. If everything is a life and death struggle, then one must take joy in the defeat and destruction of others.. That way lies the fear I had that you have pain and despair ahead.. It makes me feel like i failed you."

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah sighs
"No dad it is not that shadow isn't real, ofcourse it is real. And yes i could perform here i could seek out a London as you say dance and join a group dance the stars from the skies, then when my time is done on the stage, teach the next generation. Yes that would be real. Yes i could do that... but part of it is the trouble... it feels like cheating. I know i am a good dancer. And if i wanted to be a prima ballerina i would seek out a shadow where i would be.
Bjt that means i did not work for my position, because it was tailored to my wish to be one od the best.
I don't say that performing in shadow isn't real.... or learning or teaching... i say... when you tailor something to be the best you rob yourself of the challenge to become better, to train to learn...."
She shakes her head.
"Never mind.. you didn't fail me....i don't meant it in a bad way...."
She drinks slowly from her glass

'''Michael James Watson'''
"It feels like cheating, eh? What if I could make it not feel like cheating?"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah raises her eyebrow
"How would you manage that? Make me forget things again?"

'''Michael James Watson'''
"Sort of. But Yes. That's the point of Mind Blanking. You enter a world unsure how things will play out. Your memory is imprinted with a young mentality, and you grow as a native of the environment. A strong impulse is installed. Such as an affinity for dance, love of reading, or an interest in flying. Then you progress the life and see how it turns out. Maybe your affinity for dance means you do become a ballerina. Or an exotic dancer. A love for flying might mean you join the air force and fly jet fighter planes or you become a hot air balloon enthusiast or collect Biplanes. But one whatever happens you do it as a native of that world. You learn their languages as a native. Identify as a native. Then at some point you remember everything and can find a new world or stay on in the life you built. Amberites live a long time. We can't always live on the edge of disaster. One goes mad"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Very calmly she sips her drink then turns to look at her father.
"I would never do that.. i would be an hypocrit... i still feel Merrill deserves an assbeating for what he put me through and i am not going to do the same to others. Because it is not only your purpose you do... also relations.. what happens to them when you wake up from the mind blanking. You up and leave?
You just say... well that was fun back to my own life?
People in shadow have feelimgs to... how could i do that to a person... or people... no.
I understand others do it... but that is living a lie and ruining others their lives... "
Alvah looks genuinely sad and hurt as she talks about it. Turning away from her father she inhales a moment before turning back.
"So no. Not an option. "
She stands up and walks to the railing of her little balcony leaning and looking over the ocean.
A soft chuckle escapes her as she turns
"I see what you are doing. Dad i can't go away from here or the plan. I have to follow the plan, it has to be stopped early on. And how much i would love to dance again professionally, if i don't stop this... priesthood thing it grows away from me."
She shakes her head
"And here i was toying with the idea to perhaps go to Fantalin.."

'''Michael James Watson'''
"Merill Didn't know you when he was put into a life in my realm. I didn't know him. But because like attracts like you two found each other. When i met him I knew something was wrong. When Fisk and I spoke about it he withdrew him from the world. I doubt he had much of a say in the matter. He isn't much older then you and when he was brought back he had other responsibilities. As to what happens when you recover your memories? That would be a question then. Is your relationship strong enough to embrace this new knowledge? Could you live out the other person's life, letting it conclude naturally? Would you bring them to Amber. You will make these choices many times. You will watch boon companions age and die knowing it would be just a trump call to save them. Its a burden we of the blood must bear. Ask Caine and he would laugh at my guilts. Gerard would sympathize. Julian would say its a pity to loose a friend, especially after they finally were skillful enough on horseback to be useful.
"As for this priesthood.. I could stop it.. If you ask me to. "

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
"Well... okeu won't kick Merrill his ass then. Fine.
But no I just can't for those reasons you say... i know i am a sappy person when it comes to feelings and others. Vek and i talked about it after i went through a great length to safe people from shadow. But that is part of our responsibility because we know. We know the dangers and we know how to fix certain things. And you can't have those not knowing get into danger because of you...."
A deep sigh escapes.
"And no relationship i would be in would be strong enough.... dad... even with Candle i am mostly just waiting till he has time... i know i am not high on his priority. He is loyal to Star Fleet. Which is perfectly fine. But a long term thing we won't be. It is fun for now. But at a point i'll want more... and no not settle down. I doubt if i could ever do that. "
She waves her hand
"But i digress... the priesthood, yeah no we have a plan. Not just stop it. To transform it. To start a new movement, to show that the Azcalan royal family aren't gods... no we are wizards... some scary stromg but still wizards. And that bloody sacrifices aren't needed. That it can happen differently and that the power can be shared with others... "
Alvah smiles big...
" the family is goimg to hate me... but it would possible start a change."

'''Michael James Watson'''
"Candle Hyle. I approve of him. Just in case it comes up. And Merrill Acadison, I could accept that. But a Hendrake? Not that my blessing matters."
Standing moving beside her at the railing.
"Alright. I told you I cut you free to live and die by your wits. Let us make the same deal; if we got to far..."
"Its an idealistic dream to change their faith. Its a matter of semantics anyway. I can relate to the loneliness. With Final there was a lot of good time. In many ways the best. You want to change the faith...perhaps removing an obstacle would help. I can't defeat Zictals or Zentalas. But perhaps i can lure Cihal out far enough to trap her. Ok Rebel...if you are set on this course... Seek out Quetzel. And walk the sigil. The higher the better"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah looks at her father frowning as he stands next to her...
"Why do you bring up Hendrake? Did i ever say i would want to be with one? And if you are talking about Vek..... he is not interested in me. So no worries. Though.... if i didn't feel as responsible for this thing with Azcala. I would have followed him yo Regor... and not just for him.. their culture with music and dance sounds fantastic. I would love to expand my dancing knowledge there."
Alvah stares out over the waters by now dark speckled with the stars from the sky.
"Zictalas and Zentalas are a force there they won't move. Removing mom as an obstacle could help. I know she is the trump creator for Tonacat and having her not being able to manipulate that is good.
And set on a course... i don't know... i just feel like this is what i have to do. Why else would Toci make sure you could escape with me? That noone pulled me back? I think it is because i am to be part of a new breath of air in the family and the ways... to make it less bloody... "
She looks at her father sideways
"I have an idea what sigil to walk... but.. i already have the imprint right? Would it help?"

'''Michael James Watson'''
"Amber's pattern has many shadows . Unlike Amber, the shadow of the sigil each have their own Individuality. visually. Different powers. Different personalities. For more....talk to Queztal.

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah nods,
"I have an idea where to go then. Already have some info on the sigil."
With a big smile she looks at her father
"Thanks dad, that we can actually have a conversation without fighting. Thank you for being honest."
She hops up and sits on the railing with her back to the ocean looking at Delwin.
"When this is done... I think i might just go focus on dancing again. It is my biggest passion.. Perhaps go to Fantalin i'm sure i can learn more dances there, go to Mandalay see aunt Sand, like you said she could still teach me so much i am sure. Go to Regor try and get into a dancetroupe...... yeah...."
She looks dreamy but a sad hint is seen in her eyes which slowly butnsteadily tskes over as she realizes things.
"But i think this will never be done... after things change... others have plans.. there are always plans in plans, Benedict, Random... you had plans for me. And i am sure Nur has plans as well other then the plan we made.... But it is a nice dream.... right?"

'''Michael James Watson'''
He says, "Fantalin....Funny. I went there for two years. It was like moving across the street from the house you grew up in and acting like you moved away from home. I was so angry. Mother made us attend before bringing us to Amber. But I grew to love it. The people understand Amber. Take pride in Oberon and Cymnea being Thulusians before being Amberites. They have the same physical structures as amberites; strength, speed, endurance. They are long-lived and have a similar aging thing as Amber. Sort of-they age and die but it might take a thousand years . Their enthusiasm makes them age extremely slowly after a point. But they fall apart fast once they loose it. Its why so many Thelusians seem young and healthy.. Almost elven that way.. Fantalin does a lot of specialized training. One on one, small groups. It also has a place called the Hall of Treasures. You are an Amberite. Aries Colbresi will show it to you. It has copies of many magical inscriptions. Not Azcala unfortunately. But it has a walkable pattern. Might be nice to study the pattern there. As an Amberite Aries would talk to you extensively. He's a good man. Ancient. A shadow of Dworkin. "
"But if you don't want to go there, shadow has many other universities that teach much the same. The Kingdom of Diaga. Though they can be formal. Rebma has a fine university but its at the same time rate as Amber. Slow going. Or.. You could to to the University of Cynasure. Rough world, near chaos. But they know their magic. Hell, there are universities in Regor that have courses like the Royal Rights course. Anyway... just a thought"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
"That sounds wonderful, but again dad... things are planned...."
After a bit of silence where Alvah had been watching her swinging legs she lets out a long deep sigh.
She lets herself slide from the railing and walks to the table she lights a cigarette takes a long pull and turns to look at her fathers back...
In a voice which Delwin will surely recognize of the moments where young Alvah knew she had done bad stuff. She speaks slowly.
"Dad, i have to tell you something.... i am actually really afraid. I am afraid of what will become of me. I am afraid that one day, mom will be standing in front of me. Or Zictalas or Zentalas... the only reason i survived mom her traps is because of Vek. I am not strong enough to withstand anyone."
She chews her lip then smokes her cigarette. She stays near the table her shoulders hanging.
"Dad, i have been trying to get in contact with the worldstone of Azcala.... i tried sacrificing from here... i managed a tiny connection... i can constantly feel the urge.
There is a duality that is really confusing me.... one side i just want to follow my gut feeling and feed the urge to fight, for blood for power... on the other side i just want to dance, study see beauty.. hell maybe even find a nice guy to actually settle down with. It is a constant fight between almost two personalities."
She crosses her arms over her stomach and doesn't look at Delwin anymore.
"There was a situation in Randal. I got lost in shadow due to drugs. I had taken some kids with me through shadow. I lost them, my things, myself. When i found the kids back they were being beaten up by some biker gang... i fought them off... no.. i slaughtered them and i enjoyed it. At a point i was not fighting to defend or protect i was fighting because i was seeing it as a dance fueled by blood pain and death. "
A shiver in her breath as she remembers the fight and the pleasure she felt. Closing her eyes she continues.
"I get angry so quickly and when i do, i follow my gut feeling and my gut feeling is very feral... maybe i do belong with mom, in Zictla.... maybe she knows this to and the only reason she has not called me by trump or sought me out is that she waits for me to come to her."
Alvah looks at her feet smoking her cigarette
"Sometimes i wake up swearing i smell that distinct smell that the trumps bring or feel that hot tingling sensation. And at that brief moment of not being awake i feel a certain rest at the thought that i'm done.
And Random wants me to kick the hornets nest, Benedict wants me on the throne when all in Azcala are dead, i have no clue what Nur his plan is after changing the priesthood, but i am sure there is a follow-up plan as well.
And i am trying to move along but I don't know any of the dancesteps.... but i can't get off of the dancefloor anymore either."

'''Michael James Watson'''
 “Cihal is patient. She waited more then 5500 years for Xozla while she was in the enclosure. There were ways to come and go in Azcala but they wer dangerous and being caught was a death sentence. So she waited. I met Xozla in Los Angeles the first time. I had no interest in Azcala. It was just a sealed prison. I was adventuring.. I was young. In time I grew interested and I found my way in. “
“I found a collection of shadows stunted by the restrictions of its sigil and browbeaten by its stone. I of course didn't know either yet. And Azcala wasn't an obsession then. It was just somewhere I went from time to time. If you find the right places, it has some lovely people, great scenery. Great food. Some really nice fishing.”
“But the psycho priests and their bloody rituals and their blood thirsty gods. Tonocat may be worshiped but he is not often loved. Nor any of the rest of their clan. Even Quetzal isn't loved. And they had 15,000 years for the priesthood to dominate the realm, gathering power.
“Then Azcala was opened. All heck broke loose in the realms. Tonacat returned and took hold of what the priesthood, and Zictalas and Zentalas had created. He became the great drinker of power and the others had to live on dribbles and sips.”
“Then I met Cihal. She was Mind Blanking when we met. Grew to love each other. Then she remembered. Xozla had been back in her life for a long time but they argue constantly. Receationally. Sexually. And then there was you. And I was suddenly in the middle of that whole family drama...I understand powerful mixed emotions. It runs on both sides of your family.”
“When I brought you to our world I thought how to prepare you. Fisk and Nur and I had traveled together for years. Adventuring companies are strongest when not everyone has the same talents. And they came to help raise you. Perhaps it was folly to include them. Fisk made you sneaky, and nur taught you to fight. The dance is in your blood but the reason I encouraged it is that I hoped one day you would a s sword dancer. Dervish maybe. Combat and Dance are a lot alike. Precise. Quick. Fluid. Deceptive. Emotional.”
“I can't tell you what to do any more. You started making your own was early. All I ask is let me know when you intend to enter Azcala proper. I won't hinder you. I won't go with you. But if you need me I hope I can help. “
Looking around, filling his drink, “You know, you could do worse.. Running a tavern is a very Amberite thing to do. Corwin, Gerard, Caine, Random, Flora, myself, all ran something like them. Jurt and Vek. Others.. a decade her might help you. Abandoning it after so short a time, I think you will regret and then get angsty about regretting it.”

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah listens quietly to her father. She keeps her eyes down.
"Thank you, for not judging.
And i don't think it was bad for Nur and Fisk to help raise me.
Even if i can't remember everything.
I remember calling on Fisk when that Dufiro of death was killing me. Nur told me that he bound a dufiro of life to me to save me. I remember Fisk pulling me out of the psychiatric ward after i had attacked some people.
I remember you dad, after my accident with my bike how you cared for me."
Alvah looks up and smiles
"I had not a bad life in Chicago, and you did try to raise me well.
I just think i was broken from the start. "
Feeling small, smaller then she is. She sits down again.
"So staying here wouldn't be bad. And you sure that mom won't just pop up?
Well she hasn't by now so why would she. Other then that she has no children with her now.
Oh she did keep asking about you. Don't know what she wants with you, if it is good or bad... "
Looking around she nods slowly.
"I'll stay here for a while. I like this place. And i'm already angsty enough about other things. "
A moment she pauses then smiles
"Sword dancer, sounds.... interesting. Maybe fun to pursue at a point. "
For the first time in this conversation she looks up to her father.
"We do have time enough right. "

'''Michael James Watson'''
"You popped into her life. Expect her to pop into yours. But yes, you have time. I think the reason Random wants you to kick hornets nests is because after talking to so many Azcala royal, he sees how fragile the royal of Azcala are. Related by blood, bound in power, separated by hatred. A wall can crumble if one hood hammer hits enough of the cracks. Tonacat needs time to united his family despite two couples hating each other. You decide when and how to kick the hornets."
"As for being broken, that's my fault and Nur's doing, though it was accidental. The call to Fisk-Reba-wasnt the first attack by a Dufiro. You'll have to get the details from Nur. He made you forget; a Dufiro of Change that took liberties beyond his deal. "

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah nods slolwy,
"It is just, i am damn weak. Like i said if Vek had not followed me when j went with mom, she might have pulled my heart out many times over.
Vek also caused a little thing with Zictalas but that was bound to happen anyway.
And he did help me together with Mandor understand the Azcalan sigil better.."
A soft laugh as she pours a drink for herself clearly getting a bit more relaxed again.
"Oh yes, the Azcalan royal family is crumbling. Just look at how many are already in Amber. Some don't want to go back.
Tonacat is losing grip... and the family tradition, to keep it all in the family did not help...
On a sidenote dad, i have warned Aztilios if he mentions me being married to him again when others are around i will not only go for the nuts...."
Taking a sip she then looks cautiously at her father...
"Wait...i was attacked before? Dufiro of change.."
Alvah grits her teeth. Produces another glass and focusses, in a harsher tone she speaks...
"Nur! Answers please i know you are still around!"

'''Michael James Watson'''
He says, "a Dufiro of Death attacked you. You dealt with him but were maybe burned. The Dufiro of Change was summoned by Nur to repair you."

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah nods to her father
"I see. I had a lot of run ins with Dufiro haven't i? "
She looks around and then shrugs.
"Guess he was not listening in at this time, eh was worth a shot...
But i'll ask him when i see him again. If you bring this up it must be an answer which is useful to the current situation..... i got burned? How?"
Downing her drink and pouring another she looks at her father.
"I will not go to Azcala proper soon, as you said. I am still going to steal something from there... but I won’t stick around.
Might help me get some favor with others. And i think that is something i can use... always. "

'''Michael James Watson'''
"not burned of fire. Mage-burned. You drew on psychic forces within you beyond your power to control, your own psyche funneling real power from your sigil. Rendered the creature unto its bare parts in death. It left you nearly melted till death yourself. Only Nur being on our planet, feeling both the power of the Death Masoja first flair, then be dispatched, made him able to find you, overwhelm the outflow channeling of raw Azcala energy in time. But the damage was great. Meat and bone largely separated. The Change Masoja greatly held your life force in place while it knitted you physically together."
He finishes his drink
"It was a close thing. It didn't knit you back the same. That's is not broken, only a small chance remained; a blue eye."

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah frowns hearing this she raises an eyebrow.
"I remember nothing of that. But something happened then with the Masoja of Change? "
A slight worried look on her face picking up another cigarette she lights it and pulls a few times before continuing.
"Are you saying i am actually broken? Not put back right? ...
Dad for a protected shadow that place was dangerous! How old was i when that happened? Was it during a job? Was it in my youth? Why did a masoja of death attack me? And how the hell did i manage to fight it off... and even hurt it so badly... or did it die?"
Getting slightly frustrated, as Alvah can so easily get, she starts pacing...
"Why do i get important pieces of info later? Would this not be usefull to know earlier? And why do i havr to go chase after Nur, cause i think he doesn't want to get here because you are here and you two are not friends at the moment...."
She lets out a sigh and pinches the bridge of her nose speaking up to the sky randomly
"Nur i know you are listening in cause you usually are when i say your name... you know the two of you have to kiss and make up at a point... if i would ever get married or something, you are both going to be there! "
She sounds by now like a quasi stern daughter..
She looks at her father.
"Goes for you as well... i am not throwing three wedding parties for example because you Nur and Fisk are angry at eachother...."
She looks at Delwin
"If he doesn't pop up, can you at least tell me what went wrong? I just need to know now. Maybe it will actually help understanding myself better. "

'''Michael James Watson'''
""Why do i get important pieces of info later? Would this not be useful to know earlier?' Well, it surely the fuck would have. Maybe if you had stayed till you aged out of your first life and was ready to abandon Chicago without leaving a gaping hole in your circle of friends who keep asking where you are, how you're doing? why don't you return calls, or check emails, or answer texts? You wonder if I was going to keep you there a thousand years? No, just till you got old enough for people to start calling you'Well Preserved' or "curiously fit" or when they started wondering if you made pacts with the devil for long life and wondering if you had a painting in the basement that you had to look at daily to stay young." His own frustration showing through.
"Nur wasn't sure then but he has spent a lot of time in Azcala since. He has sought of Dufiro for information but most Dufiro are very specific about what elements are revealed about their activities. Screening for Race inclusion is extreme confidential and despite his place among the Dufiro its been hard tracing who hired Dufiro. But...we are sure someone in Azcala has been trying to kill you since i brought you to Chicago. Your mother? Zictalas? Acoza? Aztilios? Xolotl? Maybe even Tezcatlipoca or Trexata. Fusanata of the Jagri hates that he lost his heir to you and who ever has sent them has involved him. "
"As for the how and when, you were 6. We had been in the States about 2 years. Were were in Cabo San Lucus. I thought a familiar surrounding might make things easier on you. This was the first time they attacked you. The first time I found out someone on the White Council knew how to summon Dufiro and was in contact with Azcala. Whenever they wee were natives to the world and once i sealed it off had their own back channels that skirted my control. Nur and Fisk were in the world by then too. They attacked you outside your school. You reacted subconsciously and the forces came to your fingers with ease. You certainly killed the hell out of it. After that we had to move. So Chicago."

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah jerks her head to look at her father.
"Yeah it is not that i can help it can i... that that was the moment i had the psyche burst, that i saw you and Fiona!!! And if it wasn't you who brought me to Amber... Arlo would have. Again.. i could not really help that. Don't you think i don't want to go back tk that life?
Just having fun, stealing shit.... dancing... without a freaking care in the world other then the question if my father is jn the white or the black council.... "
Alvah stops and breaths a few times deep trying really hard to keep her frustrations and growing rage down....
Holding up a hand she tries to speak calmly again though it is through clenched teeth.
"So. Basically the dufiro of death was send for me.... so the second time it happened it might have been targeted at me as well...
So.... would they still want me dead is an important question right? And wait? There is something wrong with the Jagri? I know i had one in Azcala... did something happen to him? I remember him sticking up for me against mom... "
She shakes her head.
"Okey first things first.
Someone send a killer after me but i was able to fight it off.. almost at the cost of my own life. The only reason that i am alive is that Nur was there, made a deal with a masoja of Change to keep me in one piece.
Something did go wrong... but in retrospect... i am still alive.
The one sending the dufiro of death was certainly feom Azcala but not limited to the royal family.... and something with the Jagri... i tried to look for my Jagri when in Untola.."
The anger just washes away from her she lets her head hang
"Maybe i shouldn't have fought back. I feel i am more a danger and a burden then anything else... "

'''Michael James Watson'''
"Arloxeda is someone I dislike. I didn't meet him when i was young and in Amber but he has the same self-important ancient might vibe the other Elders all have. he might have a better right to it since he was Eric's magical advisor in shadow for thousands of years in Amber. Still, a word from Oberon broke him a bit and bound him to the Library in some less then obvious way. I met him after Random's actual coronation and he was already acting like the big cock of the walk just because of what he and Elayne went through.. 'Welcome to Amber Prince Delwin, its so nice to meet you. If you would like me to show you around just let me know I would be happy to help' Friggin arrogant prick... Hell I am older then him. despite having lost a thousand years in a fast time shadow. I spent 47 years living in Amber before he ever heard the name Amber. "
"Just to answer...I am on the White Council of course. And the Black Council. Its just easier to know what both sides are doing in my world. I've arranged the world to have a 20 to 1 to 8 for my presence. But I've been away a lot recently. In time i'll let it go.. Let time take over once we are both done with it. Its the nature of our lives as Amberites."
"As for who would want you dead, as I said the list includes your relatives in Azcala; Cihalas, Zictalas, Acoza, Aztilios, or Xolotl just to name a few. Maybe even Tonacat. You are a threat to their power and your being a relative won't stop them. They killed Apanecatl and Cuilton and those were married siblings like Zictalas and Zentalas.
⁠
“As for Fusanata, he is the ruler of the Jagri. He traditionally has a say in where Jagri go to serve. Mostly. And his heir was a particular prize. He hates Xozla for making the bond happen and he hates you for having the bond. Your death means his son would return to him. Jagri have intelligence rivaling humanoids but its a very different intelligence. Its an animal based intelligence with reactions that are not the same as humanoid reactions all the time. They consider loyalty different. Its usually unbreakable while humanoids can break loyalty on a whim. They don't usually use magic though some forms of magic work well for them. Less scientific, less structural magics like communing or channeling earth powers. When a Jagri bonds to someone they gain a fraction of their powers. Its why Jagri allow the bonds. Zentalas and Cihalas both have Jagri. So does Quetzal. They can manipulate the Sigil. Even uses spells their bond mates have. Fusanata is incredibly angry that in gaining you as a bondmate his son was able to leave Azcala and shadowwalk. I specifically protected the Chicago world from shadowwalkers entering so your Jagri wouldn't be able to enter. Too dangerous to try and explain him and they can be quiet unreasonable. It took a great deal to convince mine that I needed time and space and his presence would be hard to explain. I helped him mange a shapechange so he seems like a tiger sized jaguar in the jungles of South America. I visit him from time to time. I've been thinking that I may go and withdraw him. He has some of my shadowwalking powers. Maybe setting him loose to find yours would be a good use of his time.”

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah listens quietly she still stares down to her feet. She is focused on her breathing.
"So someone hates me enough to want to kill me at 6.
It only failed because i was doing something i shouldn't be able to do..... so much power, enough to kill a mesoja of Death....
I got fixed but changed. "
She touches her cheek under her blue eye as she speaks.
"I won't be at home in Amber.... i am not wanted in Azcala.... "
Without looking up still
"Thanks for telling me dad. I know this wasn't something you had planned for me.... thank you though, for raising me the way you did. Giving me as much as a normal life before all this. "
She looks up only to stare at the ocean.

'''Michael James Watson'''
"Amber was never home for me either. I own a townhouse and have apartments in the castle. I did live there for 47 years. I am in fealty and if Random needs me he knows how to reach me. Even if Amber isn't home I suggest you do that much. Be in fealty, come in need. Visit on occasion. Like it or not Random is the head of our family. Sand doesn't like it. She torched her apartment before leaving. Has never been back."
"Don't consider yourself a person without a country. Amber is our country, like it or not. The people are quit lovely. Its just the nobles and royals one has to watchout for. Maybe someday Azcala will change but it won't do it without a great deal of strife. What left after that is done may be unrecognizable"

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Still staring over the ocean she makes a scoffing sound.
Suddenly she stands up straight and looks at her father. Her eyes slightly red she might have spilled some tears.
A ssrcastic grin on her face..
"Right Random is head of that family... and Tonacat of the other... so why shouldn't i be in fealty with him? Why should i with Random? "
"Cause he is king Of Amber? " she says in a mocking voice.
Turning sharply to her father with a look of just plain anger and rage.
"I owe SHIT to anyone! They expect me to roll over and give paws because what? I am uour daughter! You don't even like them! "
Alvah starts pacing her body clearly shaking from anger.
"Dad, they can suck it both of the families... i am not wanted... FINE i'll fucking act like it. I am not going to bend over backwards in the hope someone will like me because i cater to their needs...
I will not be fucking used for any of their plans plots or other political bullshit! "
She grabs an empty bottle from the table and hurls it at the wall letting out an angry scream as she does.
"I can't pretend anymore to be this person they want me to be... i'll just do what i feel is right... and if that gets me killed i'll fucking welcome it with open arms."

'''Michael James Watson'''
"As you wish. I've tried. Don't think of this as abandoning you. Think of it as giving you what you wish. But remember; I told you so."
He turns, takes three steps and fades into shadow.

'''Amber Bronkhorst'''
Alvah seeing her father leave she sighs grabs a bottle that still has contents and sits on the floor.
Chucking the contents smoking her cigarettes.
Just letting herself be a mess for the rest of the night.