Editing Desolation

<i>Don’t you dare die on me.

You can’t just demand that I come home—imply that if I don’t you’re just going to stay on Pala—and then just up and die on me! What in the hell were you thinking? Throwing yourself in the way of a grenade is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done—well… maybe outside hooking up with someone like me in the first place.

This is all my fault. God, Bri… I’m so far beyond sorry there aren’t even words. We should have just let him take the gorram shuttle. It wasn’t worth your life.

Please don’t leave me here alone.

It’s not that I can’t live without you. We both know that’s just ridiculous. But… what would my life be without you? It’s always been my touchstone, knowing that I was coming home. I was ready. When I signed on the MakeMake, it was a paycheck to get me home.

And then it went to hell. I caught up with you guys and we had to scatter again. And now the Fates seem determined that even if I do get to be with you, it’s on a godforsaken rock in the middle of fucking nowhere surrounded by Reavers with you comatose and unlikely to ever wake up and hear anything that I have to say to you.

I love you.

I haven’t ever said those words out loud to you. Figured you’d run for the hills as fast as your legs could carry you. Hell, I don’t even think I knew until I realized the very real possibility of leaving you here. What we had just seemed to work for us. I never really thought about what might happen if we were apart for so long. Or where we were going.

Now I have all these unresolved issues. Feelings I have no outlet for. Thoughts I have no one to talk to about.

I don’t know if we’re getting off this planet. We could survive here for a long time. But there’s nothing more Arden can do to help you. We’re working our asses off trying to get off this rock. I’m afraid.

Shyla and I are finally square on me leaving, I guess. It feels… weird. Like I’m lighter somehow. I wish you’d just open your eyes. Just squeeze my hand. Give me some hint that you’re still in there. 

Please?</i>


Nika reached up with gentle fingertips to smooth wayward curls back off his forehead, careful to stroke only undamaged skin. He was so terribly burned. She rested her head on her hands at the edge of the bed and listened to him breathe, trying to keep hope alive in the silence of a deserted hospital in the middle of an abandoned planet spinning in a quarantined star system chock full of Reavers.