Editing Dierdre



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Random,

I sit in Avalon now as I read your letter.  You ask for a Article of Submission to assure my fealty and loyalty to Amber.  I am of three minds.  We have not spoken since Patternfall.  It is difficult for me to focus.  I shall try and explain myself.

I have been damaged. My fall into the Abyss changed everything.

I had many adventures in my life before Patternfall.  They were wide and broad and exciting as many of our adventures were.

But I can not think my way to them.  My mind is of two parts and you will one day have to decide which of them is first. I myself can not do so.  I think of myself in two ways.  I experience myself in two ways.  I am not sure which I am at any time.  How can I swear fealty? 

Brand took me into the Abyss.  Fleece brought me out of it.  The time in between was horror.  I will not speak of it in this letter.  This me has shared the canine mind that is Fleece, born his children, followed him in battle.

Brand took me into the Abyss.  The Unicorn brought me out. The time in between was a horror.  Corwin spirited me away to Avalon.  This me was damaged and took years to heal and its mind is still not clear.

the third mind is the fusion of both that thinks concurrently.  Corwin is working on the problem in Amber.  Adrian is working on the problem in Mandalay.   Its only when I am in this third mind that I am able to thing coherently enough to write this letter.

I do not remember thinking much of you.  Nor much against you.  I was to involved in myself.  

One of me has assayed the Mark of Mandalay.  That me has taken a Lordship there though its mentality is less sophisticated at a dogs level.  I do not think I would done so have if I was in my right mind.  Adrian has told that me that I may take fealty in Amber if I wish.  My passage through the Mark cleared that me's memory of many of the horrors that were making me cream endlessly in silent pain in the echos of my mind.  

One of me has assayed the Pattern of Avalon.  How that was managed you will have to learn form King Corwin, my husband, as he managed it somehow.  That me is a tad better aware, but not greatly.

I must beg leave to rest.  I feel both of me.  I can think as both of me.  I am not separate yet. Neither Adrian or Corwin can tell if that will ever happen.  Perhaps the mess will unify.  Perhaps they will toss dice for seniority.  Regardless, there are two of us, but in this we speak as one.

If war comes, and you need a militant sister, we shall come.  Conflicted mind aside, my sword is strong.  The Abyss taught me there is might in violence.

Princess Deirdre of Amber. Lady of the Mark of Mandalay. 
Queen Deirdre of Avalon, Princess of Amber. 
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[[Jeweled Amber]]