Editing Episode 509: Joshua Drake, This Is NOT Your Life ... , Part Two

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Joshua: I remember him saying something about … getting me off of this … stuff. I wonder if they’re going to try and …? Later.  They’ll give me something for the head, the head … I’ll find a nurse. She’ll give me some aspirin or something ….<br><br>

He tries to remember his backstory but it’s not all coming back to him. He remembers some. He remembers he was on ''Trafalgar''. He was supposed to get the … things.  He was on a mission. There was some secrecy about it.  And it was secret because … Oh, because it was Reavers and then …<br><br>

Joshua: No, it’s ''everywhere'' … (nearly sobbing) … It ''hurts'' …Really bad! And also … I threw up …<br>

Joshua: Well … ''yeah''.<br><br>

Captain Wise: Do you—Do you know who you are? Do you know who ''I'' am?<br>

Joshua: … Rex … sounds familiar.  Like, ah … that I was called Rex at one point.  Um … (more confident) But I’m pretty sure I’ve been going by Joshua—in fact, I’ve ''been'' going by Joshua. So, I’m not Joshua?<br>

Captain Wise: You’re not ''really'' Joshua. I mean … ?  (spread his hands)<br>

Joshua: I remember … it’s kinda, kinda … (gives up) … No, to be honest with you. I remember being on the ''Trafalgar''. I remember … something. I remember some sort of—they had me on some sort of mission, and … ah … I don’t remember what. I just … I remember it not going particularly well. Then I got … got picked up by the crew … and … and … I know it from there. I feel like I was … something’s bugging me about that, but … I can’t put my finger on it. I’m sorry.<br><br>

Captain Wise: And perhaps you were working on something else.  But I—when you disappeared, um … I ran a check—I tried speaking with Captain Linder of the ''Trafalgar''.  He says that, ah, that there’s no record of any incident on ''Trafalgar'', that you never arrived there.<br>

Captain Wise: What do you remember happening on ''Trafalgar''?<br>

Joshua: They were being delivered to the Alliance cru—I was there to, to, to pick them up and it all went to hell. The Reavers got loose … ate the faces of several crew members. Or several of the ''Trafalgar''’s crew. Um, and  … and … then I, and then I, I basically took off. I remember thinking that there was a good reason for that. Like I mean, you know, ''other'' than the Reavers. I mean, you know … Reavers are … pretty scary. But I, but yeah, I should have stood and, stood and fought.  Although I remember standing and fighting. (sighs) Damn, this is confusing. But, so I-I remember thinking I had a reason to run. And, and, like, you know… and I had been kind of … (can’t find the words) … and … doing it, so …<br>

Captain Wise: I have some friends who were—knew people who were on medical on ''Trafalgar''. There were some people, the last medical group who were stationed there?<br>

Captain Wise: (carefully) There’ve been rumors that there … are outside … contractors, that are sometimes brought in to … ''clean up'' these things.<br>  

Joshua: ''Yeah''. That—<br>

Captain Wise: If there was an accident with Reavers, it’s possible that they did this. (looks at Joshua) Is that why you maybe fled the ''Trafalgar''? You were worried about being … ?<br>

Joshua: No, no. There ''were''. At least, that’s how I remember them.  (mimes putting on gloves) People with blue gloves. And, you know, and the-the sonic device.  Like, ah, some sort of high tech … sonic … weapon, basically.<br><br>

Joshua tries pulling up his memories of Blue Sun, the Janitorial Staff, the weapon … and the memories all have a dreamlike quality to them. Seeing his father, hearing what happened on the ''Trafalgar'' from him, his certainty of the correct timeline shifts and what he remembers loses its authority. But … he remembers multiple incidents post-''Trafalgar'' involving Blue Sun.<br><br>

Joshua: I know, Dad. I know. But they were—Blue Sun, when I ran into them, they were … they were doing some ''seriously'' covert sort of stuff.<br>

Captain Wise: So you, you left ''Trafalgar'', to get away from them. Understandably, you probably couldn’t feel you could trust anyone on that ship, not knowing what would happen. And somehow you ended up with these … ah … this tramp freighter and took on the name of Joshua? Why didn’t you try to contact us for ''two years''?<br><br>

Joshua: Well, I … well … ah … I didn’t … ''remember''.  Like, I-I-I … I’m ''Joshua''. I’m …<br>

Does he trust this man? He seems to care a great deal for him.  As a father would a wayward son fallen into bad company and bad substances.  Is it the truth or is it an act? Joshua cannot tell. He can’t get a handle on his Reading abilities to be sure.  Instead he’s getting this sort of … rumble of the crowd around him, from all the minds present on the ''Aceso''. And of course, there is this MASSIVE brain block of a headache that is seriously affecting him right now. Even so, Joshua intuitively senses the man cares for him.<br><br>

Captain Wise: Well, I don’t ''know'' entirely what happened but I ''do'' know that you’re not yourself. You’ve obviously been … (choosing the words) … defected with these drugs and the surgery and—I mean, I don’t know if you remember in your time since you were away but things have come out about Blue Sun and other committees have been using mind-affecting drugs to get people to obey them, to do things. (a beat) So. I can give you the details if you want the medical details, based on the Pax—you remember about the Miranda—<br>

Captain Wise: Perhaps you didn’t get off ''Trafalgar''. But you were captured.  Altered.  Given drugs. Perhaps been … had certain elements … suggested upon you.<br>

Joshua: Well, given that hypothesis, then, what’s the reasoning behind it? I mean, that’s a lot of, you know, we’re talking elective brain surgery, powerful drugs … That’s a lot of work for somebody who really … well, I don’t remember being particularly ''special''. <br><br>

'''Wave recording:''' ''Well, I won’t be back in the Core for a while. But I’m real shocked.  I’m doing something important this time. I won’t be able to talk about it for a while, but … I think you’ll be proud to know what I’m working on''.<br><br>

Captain Wise: Suppose they didn’t just want information, they wanted ''you''? If you were the key to figuring something out which—I wouldn’t put it past you. You might be the one who could solve the Reaver problem or … do something worse: Make an army of Reavers for the Independents.  They would maybe … give you someone you might fall in love with in this vulnerable state. And that person could give you additional reasons to sympathize with their—has anyone ever talked to you about this?<br><br>

Captain Wise: If they wanted ''you'', for what ''you'' could do for them, they’d need more than just … what’s in your brain. <br>

Captain Wise: Well, one of our pharmacologists said it could be … seventy-two hours to a week before you clear it out of your system. And I should say, that would be the immediate effects.  The psychological effects might take considerably longer. But that we might have medication for.  (off his look) I’m ''afraid'' to give you anything, as of what I see on the scan. I’m not a neuroscientist but ''that''’s not ''right''. (points to scan display) Who knows how your receptors might take these drugs? Something as simple as a pain killer might put you into shock.<br><br>

And all Joshua can think at that moment: Oh God! ''Rina? Suspicious?'' No. <br><br>

Wise waves a card in front of a reader and the door opens for him.  He steps out, it shuts and Joshua is alone again. Joshua doesn’t bother getting up to check to see if it’s locked.  Wise has already made the point that whatever is done will be done in his ''best interest''.  Wandering around unsupervised in the grip of a massive headache hardly qualifies under best interest.  Joshua decides that staying put might be the best option. However, that doesn’t preclude digging for answers, of exploring his options.  A few hours later, Joshua tries to Read the nurse who comes in to check on him.  He’s not delving deep or even looking for anything other than to see if he can do it, if reality is as he remembers it. If it is, in fact, real.  The Reading is inconclusive. The killing headache is too powerful to get past and the pain it cost him to Read immense.  Joshua stays put, tries to move as little as possible to keep the pain down, and endures.<br><br>