Difference between revisions of "Forgotten Freedom:53"
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'''Erk''': *growl?* | '''Erk''': *growl?* | ||
| − | '''Postal Guy''': Through rain, snow, | + | '''Postal Guy''': Through rain, snow, lightning, hail, we at house Orien shall deliver the mail. Do not ask us about: crazy magic girls, ninjas, large mechanical suits, small creatures that only say their names over and over, or the goddess Animé. |
'''Erk''': *growl, but you can vaguely make out that he said "Animé?"* | '''Erk''': *growl, but you can vaguely make out that he said "Animé?"* | ||
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The postal guy hands Erk a large book-shaped package. Then salutes and turns to go. Unfortunaely he is greeted by Sakura and dies of a heart attack. | The postal guy hands Erk a large book-shaped package. Then salutes and turns to go. Unfortunaely he is greeted by Sakura and dies of a heart attack. | ||
| − | Erk grunts Lucky over the the bar, then takes his package into the back room. He has a vague idea of what's inside it. He places it on a counter and slowly | + | Erk grunts Lucky over the the bar, then takes his package into the back room. He has a vague idea of what's inside it. He places it on a counter and slowly unwraps it. Inside is rather plain book. Yet when he opens it the pages glow, and a voice comes out. |
'''Book''': Mr. Erk, it's been a long time, hasn't it? And yet again the world is in grave peril. We need your help. Your mission, should you— | '''Book''': Mr. Erk, it's been a long time, hasn't it? And yet again the world is in grave peril. We need your help. Your mission, should you— | ||
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The book opens of its own accord, forcing Erk's fingers apart. | The book opens of its own accord, forcing Erk's fingers apart. | ||
| − | '''Book''': *sigh* Mr. Erk, we know all about your reluctance to take on these missions, so this message will not self-destruct. In fact, we've made it impervious to all known forms of destruction, which includes your | + | '''Book''': *sigh* Mr. Erk, we know all about your reluctance to take on these missions, so this message will not self-destruct. In fact, we've made it impervious to all known forms of destruction, which includes your remarkably novel tactic of imersing it in unusually corrosive chili. |
Erk gives up and sits down to listen to the message. | Erk gives up and sits down to listen to the message. | ||
| − | '''Book''': Let's just cut out all the | + | '''Book''': Let's just cut out all the pleasantries, shall we. Your mission is to… |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Satnak''': Remember, I find one mess on the carpet there won't even be an astral husk and a hennefer left. I really hate the self-destructers. Remind me I owe you guys some explaining about the arm and armor.*conks out* | + | '''Satnak''': Remember, I find one mess on the carpet there won't even be an astral husk and a hennefer left. I really hate the self-destructers. Remind me I owe you guys some explaining about the arm and armor. *conks out* |
'''Lisa''': Is she getting more or less nutty? | '''Lisa''': Is she getting more or less nutty? | ||
| − | '''Terra''': I don't know and either way I'm scared. | + | '''Terra''': I don't know, and either way I'm scared. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | Terra walks on board to see Volrath, participating in one of his favorite | + | Terra walks on board to see Volrath, participating in one of his favorite pastimes, living chess. This time his opponent is Nalfein. |
'''Volrath''': Knight takes pawn E4. | '''Volrath''': Knight takes pawn E4. | ||
| − | Volrath's tongue elongates and spears | + | Volrath's tongue elongates and spears Nalfein's pawn, through the stomach. The tongue then returns, dragging the poor redshirt along with it. Volrath proceeds to eat the fellow. Finally managing to swallow him after a few gulps. Volrath's knight moves into position without any pushing. |
| − | ''' | + | '''Nalfein''': Rook takes rook D2. |
| − | + | Nalfein throws a fireball that incinerates Volrath's piece. | |
'''Volrath''': Boring! | '''Volrath''': Boring! | ||
| − | ''' | + | '''Nalfein''': Oh shut u- |
'''Terra''': If I might interrupt. Why are you two playing out here and not in one of the rooms? | '''Terra''': If I might interrupt. Why are you two playing out here and not in one of the rooms? | ||
| − | ''' | + | '''Nalfein''': We're betting. None of the bookies would go into either of our rooms. |
'''Terra''': What per chance are you betting? | '''Terra''': What per chance are you betting? | ||
| − | '''Volrath''': | + | '''Volrath''': See her? |
Volrath points toward an arabic looking girl, with large hips and large... tracks of land. | Volrath points toward an arabic looking girl, with large hips and large... tracks of land. | ||
| − | '''Terra''': Volrath that's horrible. She wouldn't survive even one night | + | '''Terra''': Volrath, that's horrible. She wouldn't survive even one night in your chambers. Besides I thought you still... |
| − | '''Volrath''': No, only | + | '''Volrath''': No, only Nalfein wants her for that. I'm trying to impress Caralot by breeding new strains of aberration without using magic. She would be perfect for giving birth. |
'''Nalfien''': Could you get on with it. | '''Nalfien''': Could you get on with it. | ||
| − | '''Volrath''': Knight jumps the queen... Not like that you sick redshirt! | + | '''Volrath''': Knight jumps the queen... Not like that, you sick redshirt! |
---- | ---- | ||
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I am increasingly of the mind that the world's events seem to revolve around this ship. | I am increasingly of the mind that the world's events seem to revolve around this ship. | ||
| − | Today for example the crew decided to randomly kidnap Princess Sarah of Breland, the heir apparent to the Throne. My surprise is that this wasn't apparently for any form of ransom but was largely so the Captain could grandstand in an address via Message spell to Brelish Parliament. I think at some point he requested that they turn over the kingdom to him but that proved to be rather pointless. | + | Today, for example, the crew decided to randomly kidnap Princess Sarah of Breland, the heir apparent to the Throne. My surprise is that this wasn't apparently for any form of ransom but was largely so the Captain could grandstand in an address via Message spell to Brelish Parliament. I think at some point he requested that they turn over the kingdom to him but that proved to be rather pointless. |
She proved to be quite irritating and eventually the crew simply returned her for the fact that she had potentially the ability to overthrow the Captain given she spent most of her time trying to show how they could be better pirates. | She proved to be quite irritating and eventually the crew simply returned her for the fact that she had potentially the ability to overthrow the Captain given she spent most of her time trying to show how they could be better pirates. | ||
| − | Then the Captain explained that he'd kidnapped her as part of an elaborate plot to thrwart the whims of an organization called the Patriots and he was going to use the (nonexistent) ransom money to set up a country where warriors could live freely as they were meant to. That was when he started talking about how Ketler was constructing a 'Metal Gear' and that only a Snake of some kind could stop him. I was informed that the Captain routinely goes crazy as part of his massive intake of booze plus the stresses of his position. It's apparently also a method of protecting him from the Demon whom I frankly don't understand why they just don't kill. While some are afraid of him, he's clearly not as powerful as he thinks he is | + | Then the Captain explained that he'd kidnapped her as part of an elaborate plot to thrwart the whims of an organization called the Patriots and he was going to use the (nonexistent) ransom money to set up a country where warriors could live freely as they were meant to. That was when he started talking about how Ketler was constructing a 'Metal Gear' and that only a Snake of some kind could stop him. I was informed that the Captain routinely goes crazy as part of his massive intake of booze plus the stresses of his position. It's apparently also a method of protecting him from the Demon whom I frankly don't understand why they just don't kill. While some are afraid of him, he's clearly not as powerful as he thinks he is... mostly because I and everyone else onboard is still sane and he doesn't seem the type to hold back like he thinks. Sniper Wolf is rather cute, though. |
I was assigned the duty of crewman Satnak this morning whom privately informed me that my main purpose was not to give her a reason to blink me out of existence with her mind. She then spent approximately three hours talking about how she resented the fact that the rest of the crew seemed utterly indifferent to her having stopped the majority of near omnipotent evils they'd faced and how godlike entities such as 'Q' and 'Loki' got much more respect on other worlds. She also asked if I'd seen alternates of the crew. | I was assigned the duty of crewman Satnak this morning whom privately informed me that my main purpose was not to give her a reason to blink me out of existence with her mind. She then spent approximately three hours talking about how she resented the fact that the rest of the crew seemed utterly indifferent to her having stopped the majority of near omnipotent evils they'd faced and how godlike entities such as 'Q' and 'Loki' got much more respect on other worlds. She also asked if I'd seen alternates of the crew. | ||
| − | I snuck Michae | + | I snuck Michae... err V... some more food as he related his tragic history that he'd been deformed in the fight against 'Shadow' and he didn't want Lisa to see him in his current condition. He'd also lost his 'anti-paladin' powers (whatever those were) because of his selflessness and didn't know what to do with his life. |
Tifa meanwhile spent most of the night telling me about her time with Captain Jarlot and strangely the stories seem to be always amounting to them being 'just off camera' during the most important events of history and several popular fantasy RPGs. | Tifa meanwhile spent most of the night telling me about her time with Captain Jarlot and strangely the stories seem to be always amounting to them being 'just off camera' during the most important events of history and several popular fantasy RPGs. | ||
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After Nalfein and Volrath finsh their "game", Nalfein remembers something. | After Nalfein and Volrath finsh their "game", Nalfein remembers something. | ||
| − | '''Nalfein''': I forgot to give you the Book of the Stilled Tongue, but before I give it | + | '''Nalfein''': I forgot to give you the Book of the Stilled Tongue, but before I give it to you, I need to read it. |
| − | '''Volrath''': Fine, but read it in the library because it takes a | + | '''Volrath''': Fine, but read it in the library because it takes a minimum of six days to read. |
'''Nalfein''': :blink: | '''Nalfein''': :blink: | ||
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'''Nalfein''': (very fast) Done! | '''Nalfein''': (very fast) Done! | ||
| − | '''Volrath''': Good, wait...what? | + | '''Volrath''': Good, wait... what? |
'''Nalfein''': That stuff's wonderful!! | '''Nalfein''': That stuff's wonderful!! | ||
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'''Nalfein''': What did you do? | '''Nalfein''': What did you do? | ||
| − | '''Volrath''': Actived a pocket | + | '''Volrath''': Actived a pocket dimension. Wait... I basically destroyed the space in there. So that must mean... YES! AERITH IS FINALLY DEAD!!! |
Volrath starts to dance when an unscathed Aerith walks out. | Volrath starts to dance when an unscathed Aerith walks out. | ||
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'''Volrath and Nalfein''': :eek: | '''Volrath and Nalfein''': :eek: | ||
| − | '''Aerith''': Well that's a depressing room :( . | + | '''Aerith''': Well, that's a depressing room :( . |
---- | ---- | ||
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'''Kaier_Ryu''': GLARING ERROR found by rampant (see below). I mean't Sorcerer but typed Kineticist. *sigh* | '''Kaier_Ryu''': GLARING ERROR found by rampant (see below). I mean't Sorcerer but typed Kineticist. *sigh* | ||
| − | Somewhere in the space beyond non- | + | Somewhere in the space beyond non-existence a dark cloud hangs over the entity known as Kaizer_Ryu... |
'''Kaizer_Ryu''': NOOOO!!!! Get away from me! | '''Kaizer_Ryu''': NOOOO!!!! Get away from me! | ||
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'''Noobish mistakes''': ARGH! You may have won this time, but I shall return... | '''Noobish mistakes''': ARGH! You may have won this time, but I shall return... | ||
| − | '''Noobish Mistakes''': | + | '''Noobish Mistakes''': Someday, Kaizer_Ryu some day you will try to do something too complex, something not of SRD. Then you're mine. |
---- | ---- | ||
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'''Terra''': Oh, hell. | '''Terra''': Oh, hell. | ||
| − | '''Satnak''': But she also tried to kill us. Well...you, anyway. | + | '''Satnak''': But she also tried to kill us. Well... you, anyway. |
(poof) She then becomes Chaotic Evil | (poof) She then becomes Chaotic Evil | ||
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(poof) She is now Neutral Good | (poof) She is now Neutral Good | ||
| − | '''Terra''': | + | '''Terra''': Okay, this is getting weird... |
'''Satnak''': True. She also defeated a demon, but kept its power for herself... | '''Satnak''': True. She also defeated a demon, but kept its power for herself... | ||
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'''Satnak''': Nothing, I just like watching the squirrel hold up the note cards, whenever she shifts... | '''Satnak''': Nothing, I just like watching the squirrel hold up the note cards, whenever she shifts... | ||
| − | Oh crap | + | Oh crap, Kithle comes back tomorrow! :eek: |
'''Lisa''': GRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN | '''Lisa''': GRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN | ||
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Kithle''': I'm back and you forgot to fix the giant gaping hole in the sky from your little trip to the shadow realm. Also | + | '''Kithle''': I'm back and you forgot to fix the giant gaping hole in the sky from your little trip to the shadow realm. Also, Terra, next time you get invited to a family reunion break your leg or something, and tell them you can't make it. You Ish something out of my room. Chalky do I want to know why my red dragon scales are missing, (loud booming noise and a geyser of red paint coats the deck) ...nvm. Terra I want those silverfish eggs replaced by the end of the week. Who let children on board? What happened to Michael I'm detecting activity in the normally empty space between his ears. Caralot put the tweezers and sample baggie down. Satnak, Spill, what happened to my arm? |
'''Kanatash''': I think the vacation worked. | '''Kanatash''': I think the vacation worked. | ||
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'''Ketler''': What about the squirrels? | '''Ketler''': What about the squirrels? | ||
| − | '''Kithle''': (Holding a lemonade with a tiny umbrella, a | + | '''Kithle''': (Holding a lemonade with a tiny umbrella, a straw with a brain case like top, and a peeled acorn floating in it) What about the Squirrels? |
---- | ---- | ||
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'''Satnak''': This time you've gone too far! It's one thing to be a pop-culture reference, but I absolutely forbit the use of cherished literary icons! DIE!! | '''Satnak''': This time you've gone too far! It's one thing to be a pop-culture reference, but I absolutely forbit the use of cherished literary icons! DIE!! | ||
| − | Satnak rips apart Jarlotgorn using a borrowed | + | Satnak rips apart Jarlotgorn using a borrowed aberration, seventeen paperclips, and a small time machine. |
'''Black Mage''': :inlove: | '''Black Mage''': :inlove: | ||
| − | '''White Mage''': Um…*tapping black mage with her hammer* aren't you supposed to be hitting on me in a completely idiotic and disgusting manner? | + | '''White Mage''': Um… *tapping black mage with her hammer* aren't you supposed to be hitting on me in a completely idiotic and disgusting manner? |
'''Black Mage''' (dreamily): In a minute… | '''Black Mage''' (dreamily): In a minute… | ||
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'''Fighter''': When Death comes I'll just cut him up with my sword-chucks. | '''Fighter''': When Death comes I'll just cut him up with my sword-chucks. | ||
| − | '''Red Mage''': My superior intellect predicts his return in | + | '''Red Mage''': My superior intellect predicts his return in 3… 2… 1… |
Super-Evil Black Mage from :devil:: Man, it feels good to be all-powerful again. | Super-Evil Black Mage from :devil:: Man, it feels good to be all-powerful again. | ||
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Carlot whistles and the Crystal comes to her side submissively. | Carlot whistles and the Crystal comes to her side submissively. | ||
| − | '''Carlot''': Ah, I would like you to meet my own personal Crystal. Isn't she cute? I've made some enhancements to her you see... | + | '''Carlot''': Ah, I would like you to meet my own personal Crystal. Isn't she cute? I've made some enhancements to her, you see... |
'''Kanatash''': Of course! I presume you removed her voice box to keep her from talking. | '''Kanatash''': Of course! I presume you removed her voice box to keep her from talking. | ||
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Later Sa'vor, Kanatash, and Carlot step out of Carlot's room (with Sa'vor looking paler than usual). | Later Sa'vor, Kanatash, and Carlot step out of Carlot's room (with Sa'vor looking paler than usual). | ||
| − | '''Carlot''': (continuing an ongoing conversation) One thing I have been meaning to ask you about is how do you handle your supply of test subjects? You’ve been on this ship longer than I have and the goody-goody | + | '''Carlot''': (continuing an ongoing conversation) One thing I have been meaning to ask you about is how do you handle your supply of test subjects? You’ve been on this ship longer than I have and the goody-goody crew members keep getting mad if I take too many redshirts. |
| − | '''Kanatash''': I have experienced the same problems. I try to rely on multiple outside sources. For example my cults across Eberron give me regular sacrifices, Michael provides me with a steady supply in exchange for certain “pictures” I acquire for him, and of course I take a sampling from the redshirt population. For an added bonus I try to collect a few prisoners from whatever foes we face. | + | '''Kanatash''': I have experienced the same problems. I try to rely on multiple outside sources. For example, my cults across Eberron give me regular sacrifices, Michael provides me with a steady supply in exchange for certain “pictures” I acquire for him, and of course I take a sampling from the redshirt population. For an added bonus I try to collect a few prisoners from whatever foes we face. |
'''Carlot''': Good planning, multiple sources in case one happens to fail you. | '''Carlot''': Good planning, multiple sources in case one happens to fail you. | ||
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'''Kanatash''': (giving him big, anime eyes) And? | '''Kanatash''': (giving him big, anime eyes) And? | ||
| − | '''Sa’vor''': | + | '''Sa’vor''': It's not normal! |
'''Kanatash''': (still giving him the eyes) And? | '''Kanatash''': (still giving him the eyes) And? | ||
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'''Kanatash''': (still giving him anime eyes) No hard feelings. | '''Kanatash''': (still giving him anime eyes) No hard feelings. | ||
| − | '''Sa’vor''': You know the thing with the eyes is really | + | '''Sa’vor''': You know the thing with the eyes is really creepy, right? |
'''Kanatash''': Yes, yes I do. Now it’s time for me to go. | '''Kanatash''': Yes, yes I do. Now it’s time for me to go. | ||
| − | Kanatash floats over to Carlot’s side and they take off below decks. A collective shiver runs down the spines of every | + | Kanatash floats over to Carlot’s side and they take off below decks. A collective shiver runs down the spines of every crew member present. |
---- | ---- | ||
The next day Kanatash is seen exiting from Carlot’s room. | The next day Kanatash is seen exiting from Carlot’s room. | ||
| − | '''Kanatash''': See you honey buns! | + | '''Kanatash''': See you, honey buns! |
| − | '''Carlot''': (chuckling) Don’t tire yourself out before tonight dear! | + | '''Carlot''': (chuckling) Don’t tire yourself out before tonight, dear! |
| − | Micky walks out of his hospital just in time to witness this event. He glances down at the | + | Micky walks out of his hospital just in time to witness this event. He glances down at the cureslager he had been drinking for a moment before tossing it over his shoulder and walking back into his room muttering something about having to “scrub the whole batch.” |
---- | ---- | ||
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'''Kanatash''': Yes, you gave me that speech a while back about how you pitied people like me and Sa’vor because we were so focused on our dreams of destruction we could never truly enjoy life. I still do not know whether I agree with you or not but since I have a few million years to kill I decieded to find out. | '''Kanatash''': Yes, you gave me that speech a while back about how you pitied people like me and Sa’vor because we were so focused on our dreams of destruction we could never truly enjoy life. I still do not know whether I agree with you or not but since I have a few million years to kill I decieded to find out. | ||
| − | '''Jarlot''': So does that mean you don’t really have | + | '''Jarlot''': So does that mean you don’t really have feelings for Carlot? |
'''Kanatash''': Oh, I have feelings for her. We share so much in our mindset and practices that it seems something destined to be. There is something innate to her being which attracts me to her, something I cannot describe. | '''Kanatash''': Oh, I have feelings for her. We share so much in our mindset and practices that it seems something destined to be. There is something innate to her being which attracts me to her, something I cannot describe. | ||
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | Andrea is in her lab preparing a poor redshirt who didn't last to be reawakened as a masterfully created undead.. Marish is nearby overseeing the proper emptying of her sandbox by Redshirt # 13, | + | Andrea is in her lab preparing a poor redshirt who didn't last to be reawakened as a masterfully created undead.. Marish is nearby overseeing the proper emptying of her sandbox by Redshirt # 13, Ishmael Jr. |
'''Andrea''': And you say he was there during the coma the entire time. | '''Andrea''': And you say he was there during the coma the entire time. | ||
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'''Marish''': Yeah, the big softy was worried sick. I don't wanna think what rolled through his mind when he found us dead. | '''Marish''': Yeah, the big softy was worried sick. I don't wanna think what rolled through his mind when he found us dead. | ||
| − | '''Andrea''': (thinking of the last things Shadow Jarlot said to her before slicing her in half) Perhaps...perhaps completely destroyed. Maybe (thinks about the times watching Jarlot trying to | + | '''Andrea''': (thinking of the last things Shadow Jarlot said to her before slicing her in half) Perhaps... perhaps completely destroyed. Maybe (thinks about the times watching Jarlot trying to vie for Aerith's attention) maybe (thinking about the recent arrival of Jarlot's daughter) ...oh to hell with it. I need to talk to the Captain. |
Andrea drops her tools and leaves in a huff with the body lying on the table, unfinished. | Andrea drops her tools and leaves in a huff with the body lying on the table, unfinished. | ||
| − | '''Marish''': Huh...that was weird. | + | '''Marish''': Huh... that was weird. |
'''Ismael Jr.''': Perhaps your lady is overtaken by troubli- | '''Ismael Jr.''': Perhaps your lady is overtaken by troubli- | ||
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Silver''': Should we have told | + | '''Silver''': Should we have told Kanatash what's really in those notes? |
'''Crow''': :angelhide | '''Crow''': :angelhide | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | Kanatash finally finds the time to sit down with Caralot's files. | |
Journal Concerning the Mixing of Outsiders | Journal Concerning the Mixing of Outsiders | ||
Today I was most fortunate to meet a natural hybrid of both nymph and succubus. Her name is Saberiel, and she is quite attractive.… | Today I was most fortunate to meet a natural hybrid of both nymph and succubus. Her name is Saberiel, and she is quite attractive.… | ||
| − | + | Kanatash flips ahead, wanting to make sure he knows where the good parts are in case he has to use them soon. | |
…She immediately took a liking to Aerith. I think there was a mild unspoken affection—or "crush"—that Saberiel had on the mortal/deva. I don't want to press things for fear of ruining…[i] | …She immediately took a liking to Aerith. I think there was a mild unspoken affection—or "crush"—that Saberiel had on the mortal/deva. I don't want to press things for fear of ruining…[i] | ||
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…from the discussions between Aerith, Saberiel, and myself, we decided to form a support group for those with unusal lifestyles and material/spiritual anatomies… | …from the discussions between Aerith, Saberiel, and myself, we decided to form a support group for those with unusal lifestyles and material/spiritual anatomies… | ||
| − | Kantash becomes enraged, throwing the file across the room. He wants to get back at those two extra- | + | Kantash becomes enraged, throwing the file across the room. He wants to get back at those two extra-existence entities who apparently played him for a fool, but he is smart enough to know that he cannot reach that far, nor would it do any good to try and drive insane entities whose very existance was insanity. |
For the first time he decides to visit the bar. | For the first time he decides to visit the bar. | ||
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'''Crow''': I couldn't have him getting that far before the birth. | '''Crow''': I couldn't have him getting that far before the birth. | ||
| − | '''Silver''': And we did get him | + | '''Silver''': And we did get him and Caralot together. |
| − | '''Crow''': I challenge anyone to think of a more fun job than manipulating the lives of | + | '''Crow''': I challenge anyone to think of a more fun job than manipulating the lives of existentials. |
---- | ---- | ||
(Sa'vor works in his lab, currently he's mixing alchemy, magic and Crystalurgy. around him various tools float into his hands or work on their own. Sa'vor sculpts a beautiful shimmering Diamond with the power of his mind. Kithle Appears behind him trhough a tear in reality) | (Sa'vor works in his lab, currently he's mixing alchemy, magic and Crystalurgy. around him various tools float into his hands or work on their own. Sa'vor sculpts a beautiful shimmering Diamond with the power of his mind. Kithle Appears behind him trhough a tear in reality) | ||
| − | Sa'vor: greetings Kithle | + | Sa'vor: greetings, Kithle |
'''Kithle''': I heard you got three hundred years on holiday, must of been bliss. | '''Kithle''': I heard you got three hundred years on holiday, must of been bliss. | ||
| − | '''Sa'vor''': Hardly, every moment was constant agony of Slips torture and imprisonment with the C'tan. | + | '''Sa'vor''': Hardly, every moment was constant agony of Slips torture and imprisonment with the C'tan. I spent all three hundred years forging magical items and practising my crafts. |
| − | '''Kithle''': you know, all the ubers seem to be doing lately is | + | '''Kithle''': you know, all the ubers seem to be doing lately is forging relationships. everywhere I look there's someone afraid that someone else doesn't like him and so on. |
| − | '''Sa'vor''': ( still not looking up) if | + | '''Sa'vor''': ( still not looking up) if you're referring to me and Slip. then I can tell you nothing's happened yet. last time I talked to her, when I woke up. she muttered somthing and blushed. then left the room. |
| − | '''Kithle''': Sa'vor | + | '''Kithle''': Sa'vor, you're over five hundred years old, and she's not exactly new to the whole relationship thing. and you'rw both acting like angsty teens. now Kanatash and Caralot... |
| − | '''Sa'vor''': ( | + | '''Sa'vor''': ( doesn't look up) by the way, if they ever ask if you want to see their photo collection. teleport far away. FAR AWAY |
'''Kithle''': what? | '''Kithle''': what? | ||
| − | '''Sa'vor''': seriously, Jarlot had to be | + | '''Sa'vor''': seriously, Jarlot had to be resurrected twice after seeing that photo once, it makes the Jaela photo seem like a picture of a butterfly. |
| − | '''Kithle''': dear lord it must be terrible, Did you see it? | + | '''Kithle''': dear lord, it must be terrible, Did you see it? |
| − | '''Sa'vor''': I | + | '''Sa'vor''': I wouldn't be standing here talking to you if I had. |
| − | '''Kithle''': | + | '''Kithle''': I'll keep that in mind |
| − | '''Sa'vor''': any particular reason for you being here my lord? ( flash of Psionic energy as the Diamonds complete. Sa'vor walks over to an anvil on which rests a dagger, its ebony blade glowes with a slightly magical aura, various runes in many languages are inscribed in it and | + | '''Sa'vor''': any particular reason for you being here, my lord? ( flash of Psionic energy as the Diamonds complete. Sa'vor walks over to an anvil on which rests a dagger, its ebony blade glowes with a slightly magical aura, various runes in many languages are inscribed in it and there's a space in the pommel. Sa'vor sets the Diamond in it and murmurs a few words in the eldritch language of magic, the Diamond is bound to the pommel) |
'''Kithle''': who are you creating this for? | '''Kithle''': who are you creating this for? | ||
| Line 519: | Line 519: | ||
'''Kithle''': you know, most men would give women flowers. | '''Kithle''': you know, most men would give women flowers. | ||
| − | '''Sa'vor''': | + | '''Sa'vor''': I'm not like most men. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | Bob, the Figment of the Daemon that is bound to Tifa gauntlets stalks the lower deck generally ****** off at the whole of creation. | + | Bob, the Figment of the Daemon that is bound to Tifa's gauntlets stalks the lower deck generally ****** off at the whole of creation. |
| − | '''BOB''': Stupid Shadow demons trying to muscle in on my territory! Stupid Deva not letting me out! STUPID EVIL JARLOT TRYING TO KILL ME! Oh, crap, I have to take control of her soon I am starting to think like | + | '''BOB''': Stupid Shadow demons trying to muscle in on my territory! Stupid Deva not letting me out! STUPID EVIL JARLOT TRYING TO KILL ME! Oh, crap, I have to take control of her soon, I am starting to think like her… even though the evil Jarlot has some appeal and I do like the whole one wing thing… NO I must never think like that again! |
| − | A | + | A redshirt writing in a book walks by Bob tries to disembowel him… but his claws pass right through. |
'''BOB''': Damn I really need to remember that I am just an illusion only Tifa can see… | '''BOB''': Damn I really need to remember that I am just an illusion only Tifa can see… | ||
| Line 534: | Line 534: | ||
'''BOB''': Wha… Mommy… I do not every remember doing a… Oh, right the Nymph. | '''BOB''': Wha… Mommy… I do not every remember doing a… Oh, right the Nymph. | ||
| − | '''P/Y/R''': Hey, doggie | + | '''P/Y/R''': Hey, doggie man… what is wrong… you want me to kill that redshirt for you... |
'''BOB''': No, no that is all right; tell me your fey do you now how to get rid of the Nymph’s kiss exalted effects of one soul? | '''BOB''': No, no that is all right; tell me your fey do you now how to get rid of the Nymph’s kiss exalted effects of one soul? | ||
| − | '''P/Y/R''': OH yeah that’s easy… you see fey… can’t breed… normally with other | + | '''P/Y/R''': OH yeah that’s easy… you see fey… can’t breed… normally with other fey… mainly because they are mostly all female… and who wants to sleep with a goat… so they sleep with mortals … like mommy… so when a fey sleeps with a mortal… she take a bit of the mortal's soul into her body… and use her own fey powers to turn that soul stuff into new fey… and because these fey have bit of the mortal's soul… the mortal get the some of the fey powers… So as long as we are around … mommy's exalted… because we are mostly good… If we were Unseelie or evil then it would be she would be vile. |
'''BOB''': Really, so how would you kids like to have some fun and then you can spend some more time with mommy. | '''BOB''': Really, so how would you kids like to have some fun and then you can spend some more time with mommy. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''BOB''': | + | '''BOB''': Okay does every one understand the plan. |
| − | '''Paine''': I go round up some | + | '''Paine''': I go round up some redshirts to sacrifice to mommy… |
'''Rikku''': I go see if any of the wizards on this ship has that spell… | '''Rikku''': I go see if any of the wizards on this ship has that spell… | ||
| Line 554: | Line 554: | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Paine''': That’s Right step right up, me, the other pixies want to play a game, and we need | + | '''Paine''': That’s Right, step right up, me, the other pixies want to play a game, and we need your help any red **** that plays with up will be upgrade to scum! |
| − | '''RED | + | '''RED SHIRTS''': BooYA! |
| − | '''Paine''' (to | + | '''Paine''' (to herself): If you survive |
---- | ---- | ||
| Line 565: | Line 565: | ||
'''Jarlot''': What is? | '''Jarlot''': What is? | ||
| − | '''Yuna''': Um…If you sign it Mommy will leave you alone and play with us instead… and some thing about turning the insane parts of the ship | + | '''Yuna''': Um…If you sign it Mommy will leave you alone and play with us instead… and some thing about turning the insane parts of the ship into a Casino... |
'''Jarlot''': You had me at ‘Tifa will leave me alone’ | '''Jarlot''': You had me at ‘Tifa will leave me alone’ | ||
| Line 572: | Line 572: | ||
'''Rikku''': Hey Volrath… Do you happen to have a spell called Fiend bind or some thing like that? Other wise I have to go ask one of the other spell casters. | '''Rikku''': Hey Volrath… Do you happen to have a spell called Fiend bind or some thing like that? Other wise I have to go ask one of the other spell casters. | ||
| − | '''Volrath''': | + | '''Volrath''': Yes… why do you need it? |
'''Rikku''': We, my sisters and Bob are trying to get are mommy to spend of time with us instead of chasing around the silly captain… | '''Rikku''': We, my sisters and Bob are trying to get are mommy to spend of time with us instead of chasing around the silly captain… | ||
| − | '''Volrath''': … So | + | '''Volrath''': … So you're doing this to be closer to your mother… |
---- | ---- | ||
Later in the darkest part of the ship where the membrane that separates the planes from the Material world, about half the red shirts are standing on a large bulls eye. | Later in the darkest part of the ship where the membrane that separates the planes from the Material world, about half the red shirts are standing on a large bulls eye. | ||
| − | '''P/Y/R''': Hello … and | + | '''P/Y/R''': Hello … and Welcome… to my Glorious ascension to Demon hood! |
| − | '''Red shirt number 187''': Wait what us becoming scum! | + | '''Red shirt number 187''': Wait, what us becoming scum! |
| − | '''Bob''': Rikku Read the scroll, Yuna stop any | + | '''Bob''': Rikku Read the scroll, Yuna stop any redshirts from leaving this part of the ship; Paine you may kill them now. |
'''P/Y/R''': Sweet!... If you say so… Scroll reading powers activate. | '''P/Y/R''': Sweet!... If you say so… Scroll reading powers activate. | ||
| Line 592: | Line 592: | ||
A few seconds later | A few seconds later | ||
| − | '''Igor''': | + | '''Igor''': It lookth like I’ll have to clean thith up… I wonder who did it … |
'''P/Y/R''': WE DID… | '''P/Y/R''': WE DID… | ||
| Line 598: | Line 598: | ||
When Igor turns around he see a stunning fey woman, whose hair shift from Red to brown and lastly to ash grey… | When Igor turns around he see a stunning fey woman, whose hair shift from Red to brown and lastly to ash grey… | ||
| − | '''Igor''': Ah well, | + | '''Igor''': Ah well, nithe Blood thpatter. |
| − | '''P/Y/R''': Thank you, it quite weird only having one body, but at lest we grew up. Tell me do you know where Mommy is… | + | '''P/Y/R''': Thank you, it's quite weird only having one body, but at lest we grew up. Tell me, do you know where Mommy is… |
| − | '''Igor''': I think she is playing poker with the other Female crew. [ | + | '''Igor''': I think she is playing poker with the other Female crew. [he had the lisp scared out of him] |
---- | ---- | ||
Revision as of 00:36, 10 September 2008
Last Plot -- Plot Line Home -- Next Plot
A postal delivery technician enters the bar, looking seriously worn but walking with pride at this job. He approaches Erk at the bar.
Postal Guy: Mr. Erk?
Erk: *growl?*
Postal Guy: Through rain, snow, lightning, hail, we at house Orien shall deliver the mail. Do not ask us about: crazy magic girls, ninjas, large mechanical suits, small creatures that only say their names over and over, or the goddess Animé.
Erk: *growl, but you can vaguely make out that he said "Animé?"*
Postal Guy: Don't ask. Please. *shudder*
The postal guy hands Erk a large book-shaped package. Then salutes and turns to go. Unfortunaely he is greeted by Sakura and dies of a heart attack.
Erk grunts Lucky over the the bar, then takes his package into the back room. He has a vague idea of what's inside it. He places it on a counter and slowly unwraps it. Inside is rather plain book. Yet when he opens it the pages glow, and a voice comes out.
Book: Mr. Erk, it's been a long time, hasn't it? And yet again the world is in grave peril. We need your help. Your mission, should you—
Erk closes the book with a snap. He he picks it up, intending to stuff it in a sturdy chest.
The book opens of its own accord, forcing Erk's fingers apart.
Book: *sigh* Mr. Erk, we know all about your reluctance to take on these missions, so this message will not self-destruct. In fact, we've made it impervious to all known forms of destruction, which includes your remarkably novel tactic of imersing it in unusually corrosive chili.
Erk gives up and sits down to listen to the message.
Book: Let's just cut out all the pleasantries, shall we. Your mission is to…
Satnak: Remember, I find one mess on the carpet there won't even be an astral husk and a hennefer left. I really hate the self-destructers. Remind me I owe you guys some explaining about the arm and armor. *conks out*
Lisa: Is she getting more or less nutty?
Terra: I don't know, and either way I'm scared.
Terra walks on board to see Volrath, participating in one of his favorite pastimes, living chess. This time his opponent is Nalfein.
Volrath: Knight takes pawn E4.
Volrath's tongue elongates and spears Nalfein's pawn, through the stomach. The tongue then returns, dragging the poor redshirt along with it. Volrath proceeds to eat the fellow. Finally managing to swallow him after a few gulps. Volrath's knight moves into position without any pushing.
Nalfein: Rook takes rook D2.
Nalfein throws a fireball that incinerates Volrath's piece.
Volrath: Boring!
Nalfein: Oh shut u-
Terra: If I might interrupt. Why are you two playing out here and not in one of the rooms?
Nalfein: We're betting. None of the bookies would go into either of our rooms.
Terra: What per chance are you betting?
Volrath: See her?
Volrath points toward an arabic looking girl, with large hips and large... tracks of land.
Terra: Volrath, that's horrible. She wouldn't survive even one night in your chambers. Besides I thought you still...
Volrath: No, only Nalfein wants her for that. I'm trying to impress Caralot by breeding new strains of aberration without using magic. She would be perfect for giving birth.
Nalfien: Could you get on with it.
Volrath: Knight jumps the queen... Not like that, you sick redshirt!
Ishmael Junior's Journal Day 4
I am increasingly of the mind that the world's events seem to revolve around this ship.
Today, for example, the crew decided to randomly kidnap Princess Sarah of Breland, the heir apparent to the Throne. My surprise is that this wasn't apparently for any form of ransom but was largely so the Captain could grandstand in an address via Message spell to Brelish Parliament. I think at some point he requested that they turn over the kingdom to him but that proved to be rather pointless.
She proved to be quite irritating and eventually the crew simply returned her for the fact that she had potentially the ability to overthrow the Captain given she spent most of her time trying to show how they could be better pirates.
Then the Captain explained that he'd kidnapped her as part of an elaborate plot to thrwart the whims of an organization called the Patriots and he was going to use the (nonexistent) ransom money to set up a country where warriors could live freely as they were meant to. That was when he started talking about how Ketler was constructing a 'Metal Gear' and that only a Snake of some kind could stop him. I was informed that the Captain routinely goes crazy as part of his massive intake of booze plus the stresses of his position. It's apparently also a method of protecting him from the Demon whom I frankly don't understand why they just don't kill. While some are afraid of him, he's clearly not as powerful as he thinks he is... mostly because I and everyone else onboard is still sane and he doesn't seem the type to hold back like he thinks. Sniper Wolf is rather cute, though.
I was assigned the duty of crewman Satnak this morning whom privately informed me that my main purpose was not to give her a reason to blink me out of existence with her mind. She then spent approximately three hours talking about how she resented the fact that the rest of the crew seemed utterly indifferent to her having stopped the majority of near omnipotent evils they'd faced and how godlike entities such as 'Q' and 'Loki' got much more respect on other worlds. She also asked if I'd seen alternates of the crew.
I snuck Michae... err V... some more food as he related his tragic history that he'd been deformed in the fight against 'Shadow' and he didn't want Lisa to see him in his current condition. He'd also lost his 'anti-paladin' powers (whatever those were) because of his selflessness and didn't know what to do with his life.
Tifa meanwhile spent most of the night telling me about her time with Captain Jarlot and strangely the stories seem to be always amounting to them being 'just off camera' during the most important events of history and several popular fantasy RPGs.
After Nalfein and Volrath finsh their "game", Nalfein remembers something.
Nalfein: I forgot to give you the Book of the Stilled Tongue, but before I give it to you, I need to read it.
Volrath: Fine, but read it in the library because it takes a minimum of six days to read.
Nalfein: :blink:
Nalfein and Volrath start towards the library. Aerith, walking by, sees the BotST.
Aerith: Now now, that book isn't child appropriate. Give it here.
Volrath: RUN!!!
Nalfein and Volrath shoot past running flat out the the library.
Volrath: (takes out a green fizzing liquid) Use this to read faster. Ketler gave it to me, said it had something to do with mountains.
Nalfein chugs the liquid, his eyes become blurs as he reads the BotST. They reach the library, Aerith close behind.
Nalfein: (very fast) Done!
Volrath: Good, wait... what?
Nalfein: That stuff's wonderful!!
Volrath: Hmm, gonna need more of that...
They hear Aerith only a couple feet away with her hands on her hips.
Aerith: Come now, give me the book.
Volrath: Quick, give it to me!
Nalfein tosses the book to Volrath and he runs into the library. When Aerith gets there, Volrath sprints past her, slams the door shut, and hits a switch on the wall. There is a noise like space being sucked into a void.
Nalfein: What did you do?
Volrath: Actived a pocket dimension. Wait... I basically destroyed the space in there. So that must mean... YES! AERITH IS FINALLY DEAD!!!
Volrath starts to dance when an unscathed Aerith walks out.
Volrath and Nalfein: :eek:
Aerith: Well, that's a depressing room :( .
Now that the battle had been won and things had largely returned to normal (whatever that is on this ship), Terra returns to her room. She pulls out the evil-looking book and continues translating. Apparently, the owner (she assumes Theronas) was extremely paranoid about someone getting a hold of it, as it is heavily encrypted. Fortunately, the other book she found (which turned out to be her father's diary) contained clues to break the code. After several hours she had succeeded, but transcribing it was still a painstaking process.
Volrath: (teleports in) Guys do not keep diaries. We keep journals.
Terra: Don't correct the Entity from Beyond Non-Existence, Volrath.
Volrath: He turned Uncle Squishy black for a few hours!
Terra: Oh, come on. A puff of logic took care of that.
Volrath: He made Earl a Sorcerer, too!
Terra: Again, puff of logic. Being up for 18 hours and trying to write in old-timey Common can confuse even the narrator.
Volrath: Still...
Earl: Dammit I am supposed to be a kineticist the voice turned me into a sorcerer.
Kaier_Ryu: GLARING ERROR found by rampant (see below). I mean't Sorcerer but typed Kineticist. *sigh*
Somewhere in the space beyond non-existence a dark cloud hangs over the entity known as Kaizer_Ryu...
Kaizer_Ryu: NOOOO!!!! Get away from me!
Noobish mistakes: You can't escape me. Your precious DM isn't here to help you, and you have no books with you...
Kaizer_Ryu: I don't need them! Take this: SRD!!!!
Noobish mistakes: ARGH! You may have won this time, but I shall return...
Noobish Mistakes: Someday, Kaizer_Ryu some day you will try to do something too complex, something not of SRD. Then you're mine.
Lisa: You know, Terra, you just helped save the world from a great evil. Twice.
Terra: Uh-oh. I know where this is going...
(poof) Terra becomes Lawful Good.
Terra: Oh, hell.
Satnak: But she also tried to kill us. Well... you, anyway.
(poof) She then becomes Chaotic Evil
Terra: Son of a...
Lisa: It's not her fault! She was being manipulated! She broke free before she hurt me!
(poof) She is now Neutral Good
Terra: Okay, this is getting weird...
Satnak: True. She also defeated a demon, but kept its power for herself...
(poof) True Neutral
Terra: Oh, for the love of...
Lisa: And before that, she tortured her father in a fully deserved manner...
(poof) Neutral Evil
Terra: (holding up her hands) OK! Stop right here. This is good.
Satnak: Ok now she's just confused.
Terra becomes CN
Terra: Stop it
Lisa: What does that have to do with alignment?
Satnak: Nothing, I just like watching the squirrel hold up the note cards, whenever she shifts... Oh crap, Kithle comes back tomorrow! :eek:
Lisa: GRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN
Terra: Great now I have to replace all the ingrediants I've been filching from his private stash.
Kithle: I'm back and you forgot to fix the giant gaping hole in the sky from your little trip to the shadow realm. Also, Terra, next time you get invited to a family reunion break your leg or something, and tell them you can't make it. You Ish something out of my room. Chalky do I want to know why my red dragon scales are missing, (loud booming noise and a geyser of red paint coats the deck) ...nvm. Terra I want those silverfish eggs replaced by the end of the week. Who let children on board? What happened to Michael I'm detecting activity in the normally empty space between his ears. Caralot put the tweezers and sample baggie down. Satnak, Spill, what happened to my arm?
Kanatash: I think the vacation worked.
Sa'vor: Yes he looks refreshed, and he's back on top.
Jarlot: Let the screaming begin, I need ale and my Flamingo.
Ketler: What about the squirrels?
Kithle: (Holding a lemonade with a tiny umbrella, a straw with a brain case like top, and a peeled acorn floating in it) What about the Squirrels?
Fighter, Thief, Red Mage, Black Mage, and White Mage enter the bar.
Black Mage (to White Mage): Hey, baby, why don't you let me buy you a drink so I can get you drunk and into the sack?
White Mage: *gets out her big hammer* AAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!
Just then Satnak appears chasing an Alt-Jarlot, Jarlotgorn.
Satnak: This time you've gone too far! It's one thing to be a pop-culture reference, but I absolutely forbit the use of cherished literary icons! DIE!!
Satnak rips apart Jarlotgorn using a borrowed aberration, seventeen paperclips, and a small time machine.
Black Mage: :inlove:
White Mage: Um… *tapping black mage with her hammer* aren't you supposed to be hitting on me in a completely idiotic and disgusting manner?
Black Mage (dreamily): In a minute…
Black Mage goes up to Satnak.
Black Mage: If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
I think your imagination can come up with the result. :evillaugh:
Lucky: Satnak! What have we told you about killing customers?
Thief: It's okay. I've already tricked him into signing over his soul to me.
Fighter: When Death comes I'll just cut him up with my sword-chucks.
Red Mage: My superior intellect predicts his return in 3… 2… 1…
Super-Evil Black Mage from :devil:: Man, it feels good to be all-powerful again.
Satnak: *predictable attack on an obviously über-powerful evil*
White Mage: :eek:
Lisa: Excuse me, Ms. White Mage, but I couldn't help noticing that you make use of a hammer to discipline your comrades. Perhaps you'd like to discuss technique with a sister jerk-smasher…
Kanatash and Sa'vor are snooping around in Carlot's room.
Sa'vor: Mind telling me again what we're doing in here? This place creeps me out even more than your room.
Kanatash: I would like you to know that I take that as a personal insult, but since you asked we are looking for the dirt that Silver and Crow told us about with Aerith and the "sessions" she has here.
Sa'vor: Are you seriously still trying to get Jarlot for the whole Crystal incident? You need to move on.
Kanatash: Nah, I figure that if any more revenge is needed at this point the alternate Jarlots now infesting the ship should serve more that adequately. The reason I'm looking for dirt is that I KNOW that at some point in the future Jarlot is going to screw me over again, experience has taught me that, and I want to have something prepared for when he does.
Carlot: (stepping from the shadows) Looking for this are we? (holds up a folder) I might be willing to part with it, for a price.
Sa'vor: And what, exactly, do you want from us?
Carlot: :smirk: Make me an offer.
Kanatash: I am sure any threats against you person would be wasting breath, and I doubt simple monetary gain is what you're interested in so I assume you have some special task or bit of information you want. Care to give us a hint?
Suddenly a Crystal pops out from behind a curtain. She begins bouncing up and down excitedly at the sight of Kanatash but she is oddly silent.
Kanatash: Ack, not another one! Wait a moment, silence? She should screaming in that annoying voice by now.
Carlot whistles and the Crystal comes to her side submissively.
Carlot: Ah, I would like you to meet my own personal Crystal. Isn't she cute? I've made some enhancements to her, you see...
Kanatash: Of course! I presume you removed her voice box to keep her from talking.
Carlot: Yes, she can still communicate telepathically but that is taxing for her and easily blocked by others. I may like cute but I also appreciate my peace and quiet when I’m working.
Kanatash: Brilliant. How did you get around the problem of her collecting thralls?
Carlot: That was a bit of an issue. If you look here at these notes. (pulls out another folder) As you can see here...
An animated discussion springs up between Kanatash and Carlot about various methods of genetic manipulation and mental blocks. Carlot then proceeds to show and in some cases demonstrate the many other "enhancements". During this conversation Sa'vor begins to grow increasingly uncomfortable.
Sa'vor: (during one of Carlot's demonstrations of her "enhancements") Urp, I think I'm going to be sick. (bends over and clutches his stomach)
Carlot: Just a moment. (hands him a small bucket) I would like a sample if you please.
Kanatash: What are you looking for? I've done a few experiments myself and I must admit the results were somewhat disappointing...
They resume their conversation while Sa'vor proceeds to supplicate himself at the porcelain throne. Despite the complaints of said throne.
Later Sa'vor, Kanatash, and Carlot step out of Carlot's room (with Sa'vor looking paler than usual).
Carlot: (continuing an ongoing conversation) One thing I have been meaning to ask you about is how do you handle your supply of test subjects? You’ve been on this ship longer than I have and the goody-goody crew members keep getting mad if I take too many redshirts.
Kanatash: I have experienced the same problems. I try to rely on multiple outside sources. For example, my cults across Eberron give me regular sacrifices, Michael provides me with a steady supply in exchange for certain “pictures” I acquire for him, and of course I take a sampling from the redshirt population. For an added bonus I try to collect a few prisoners from whatever foes we face.
Carlot: Good planning, multiple sources in case one happens to fail you.
Kanatash: Why thank you, but I must compliment you in return, your work is truly brilliant. Those experiments were both horribly cruel and mentally damaging in addition to being wildly successful. Truly you are a woman after my own heart. (with a sly smile) I was wondering perhaps if you would like to retire to my chambers to compare our respective “enhancements.”
Carlot: (bemused) I will not deny the offer is tempting but unfortunately you’re just not my type.
Kanatash: It’s the cute thing, isn’t it?
Carlot: Mhmm, yeah.
Kanatash: That’s not as much of an issue as you might expect. A side benefits of my Psion Uncarnate levels is the assume form class feature. For example it lets me do this. (suddenly changes into an anime version of himself) In addition I can change my form to look like anything I can imagine.
Carlot: (intrigued) Anything you can imagine you say? (returning Kanatash’s sly look) I think this merits further investigation, wouldn’t you?
Kanatash: Of course, my dear.
Sa’vor: If I may I would like to have a word with Kanatash first. (pulling him aside) As a friend I just want to say, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING! You know all the rumors about her “enhancements.”
Kanatash: (giving him big, anime eyes) And?
Sa’vor: It's not normal!
Kanatash: (still giving him the eyes) And?
Sa’vor: SHE’S A FREAK OF NATURE!!!
Kanatash: (intense anime eyes) AND!
Sa’vor: (pausing for a moment) Oh... I suppose I forgot who I was talking to for a second there.
Kanatash: (still giving him anime eyes) No hard feelings.
Sa’vor: You know the thing with the eyes is really creepy, right?
Kanatash: Yes, yes I do. Now it’s time for me to go.
Kanatash floats over to Carlot’s side and they take off below decks. A collective shiver runs down the spines of every crew member present.
The next day Kanatash is seen exiting from Carlot’s room.
Kanatash: See you, honey buns!
Carlot: (chuckling) Don’t tire yourself out before tonight, dear!
Micky walks out of his hospital just in time to witness this event. He glances down at the cureslager he had been drinking for a moment before tossing it over his shoulder and walking back into his room muttering something about having to “scrub the whole batch.”
Still later Jarlot approaches Kanatash on the deck.
Jarlot: I’ve heard the rumors about you and Carlot.
Kanatash: If you’re wondering if they’re true, I’m sure everything you have heard is and then some. (evil smile)
Jarlot: But what about the incorporeality, doesn’t it-
Kanatash: There are ways around it and there are certain “advantages” from it as well. (chuckling)
Jarlot: Uh, the enhancements?
Kanatash: (smiling broadly) What can I say? I’m from Xoriat, abnormal is normal for me.
Jarlot: (frowning) Are you just doing this to creep out the rest of the crew?
Kanatash: No, I’m doing this because of some advice you gave me once.
Jarlot: ME?!
Kanatash: Yes, you gave me that speech a while back about how you pitied people like me and Sa’vor because we were so focused on our dreams of destruction we could never truly enjoy life. I still do not know whether I agree with you or not but since I have a few million years to kill I decieded to find out.
Jarlot: So does that mean you don’t really have feelings for Carlot?
Kanatash: Oh, I have feelings for her. We share so much in our mindset and practices that it seems something destined to be. There is something innate to her being which attracts me to her, something I cannot describe.
Jarlot: Similar mindset? Last I check you were into Cthulhian horrors while she was a cute magnet.
Kanatash: Don’t act like those are irreconcilable extremes. After all what is more psychologically damaging, a mind crushing creature so terrible that the mortal mind cannot comprehend it or a mind crushing creature so terrible that the mortal mind cannot comprehend it that is at the same time somehow irresistibly cute?
Jarlot: Ugh…
Kanatash: Now there is one thing I would like you to see. (hands him a photograph)
Jarlot: :whatsthis (takes the picture), :bored: (sees Carlot and Kanatash in the photo), :gah: (realizes what they are DOING in the picture), :shocked: (realizes Aerith is in the picture too), :ghosted: (realizes what Aerith is DOING in the picture).
Kanatash: I really must go now, sweetums is waiting, but before I go I just want to leave you with this. You said that any idiot can destroy something and you are completely right in that. However to do it so completely, so thoroughly, so masterfully, THAT takes an artist
Terra works in her lab as Lisa walks in. Terra is pulling ingredients from the shelves with her new vine-tentacles, and Lisa just has to ask.
Lisa: I've been wondering where you got those...
Terra: Oh, these? I had Caralot make a few modifications after I was attacked. One was the regeneration, the other was this.
Lisa: I can understand the regeneration, but why this?
Terra: Two extra sets of hands around the lab, they're invaluable in melee combat, etc.
Lisa: (watches her for a bit, then) Aren't you creeped out?
Terra: Oh, I was at first. But I accepted it when I found another use...
Lisa: ...should I ask?
Terra: Let's just say tonight should be interesting and leave it at that... :schemes:
Lisa: :mymy: :blush:
Andrea is in her lab preparing a poor redshirt who didn't last to be reawakened as a masterfully created undead.. Marish is nearby overseeing the proper emptying of her sandbox by Redshirt # 13, Ishmael Jr.
Andrea: And you say he was there during the coma the entire time.
Marish: Yeah, the big softy was worried sick. I don't wanna think what rolled through his mind when he found us dead.
Andrea: (thinking of the last things Shadow Jarlot said to her before slicing her in half) Perhaps... perhaps completely destroyed. Maybe (thinks about the times watching Jarlot trying to vie for Aerith's attention) maybe (thinking about the recent arrival of Jarlot's daughter) ...oh to hell with it. I need to talk to the Captain.
Andrea drops her tools and leaves in a huff with the body lying on the table, unfinished.
Marish: Huh... that was weird.
Ismael Jr.: Perhaps your lady is overtaken by troubli-
Marish: (glaring at the redshirt) Less talking, more scooping.
Silver: Should we have told Kanatash what's really in those notes?
Crow: :angelhide
Kanatash finally finds the time to sit down with Caralot's files.
Journal Concerning the Mixing of Outsiders Today I was most fortunate to meet a natural hybrid of both nymph and succubus. Her name is Saberiel, and she is quite attractive.…
Kanatash flips ahead, wanting to make sure he knows where the good parts are in case he has to use them soon.
…She immediately took a liking to Aerith. I think there was a mild unspoken affection—or "crush"—that Saberiel had on the mortal/deva. I don't want to press things for fear of ruining…[i]
flip, flip, flip
[i]…after the first time I decided it would be best to bring in :coolcthul , and would have included John the keel…
flip back
…from the discussions between Aerith, Saberiel, and myself, we decided to form a support group for those with unusal lifestyles and material/spiritual anatomies…
Kantash becomes enraged, throwing the file across the room. He wants to get back at those two extra-existence entities who apparently played him for a fool, but he is smart enough to know that he cannot reach that far, nor would it do any good to try and drive insane entities whose very existance was insanity.
For the first time he decides to visit the bar.
It is unfortunate that he did not keep reading:
…Aerith informs me that the child will probably be born in a few months, though the mixing of outsiders is a tricky affair…
Crow: I couldn't have him getting that far before the birth.
Silver: And we did get him and Caralot together.
Crow: I challenge anyone to think of a more fun job than manipulating the lives of existentials.
(Sa'vor works in his lab, currently he's mixing alchemy, magic and Crystalurgy. around him various tools float into his hands or work on their own. Sa'vor sculpts a beautiful shimmering Diamond with the power of his mind. Kithle Appears behind him trhough a tear in reality) Sa'vor: greetings, Kithle
Kithle: I heard you got three hundred years on holiday, must of been bliss.
Sa'vor: Hardly, every moment was constant agony of Slips torture and imprisonment with the C'tan. I spent all three hundred years forging magical items and practising my crafts.
Kithle: you know, all the ubers seem to be doing lately is forging relationships. everywhere I look there's someone afraid that someone else doesn't like him and so on.
Sa'vor: ( still not looking up) if you're referring to me and Slip. then I can tell you nothing's happened yet. last time I talked to her, when I woke up. she muttered somthing and blushed. then left the room.
Kithle: Sa'vor, you're over five hundred years old, and she's not exactly new to the whole relationship thing. and you'rw both acting like angsty teens. now Kanatash and Caralot...
Sa'vor: ( doesn't look up) by the way, if they ever ask if you want to see their photo collection. teleport far away. FAR AWAY
Kithle: what?
Sa'vor: seriously, Jarlot had to be resurrected twice after seeing that photo once, it makes the Jaela photo seem like a picture of a butterfly.
Kithle: dear lord, it must be terrible, Did you see it?
Sa'vor: I wouldn't be standing here talking to you if I had.
Kithle: I'll keep that in mind
Sa'vor: any particular reason for you being here, my lord? ( flash of Psionic energy as the Diamonds complete. Sa'vor walks over to an anvil on which rests a dagger, its ebony blade glowes with a slightly magical aura, various runes in many languages are inscribed in it and there's a space in the pommel. Sa'vor sets the Diamond in it and murmurs a few words in the eldritch language of magic, the Diamond is bound to the pommel)
Kithle: who are you creating this for?
Sa'vor: ( looks up for the first time) do you really have to ask?
Kithle: you know, most men would give women flowers.
Sa'vor: I'm not like most men.
Bob, the Figment of the Daemon that is bound to Tifa's gauntlets stalks the lower deck generally ****** off at the whole of creation.
BOB: Stupid Shadow demons trying to muscle in on my territory! Stupid Deva not letting me out! STUPID EVIL JARLOT TRYING TO KILL ME! Oh, crap, I have to take control of her soon, I am starting to think like her… even though the evil Jarlot has some appeal and I do like the whole one wing thing… NO I must never think like that again!
A redshirt writing in a book walks by Bob tries to disembowel him… but his claws pass right through.
BOB: Damn I really need to remember that I am just an illusion only Tifa can see…
P/Y/R: Hello… what do you mean only mommy can see you … We can see you just Fine... Doggie man…
BOB: Wha… Mommy… I do not every remember doing a… Oh, right the Nymph.
P/Y/R: Hey, doggie man… what is wrong… you want me to kill that redshirt for you...
BOB: No, no that is all right; tell me your fey do you now how to get rid of the Nymph’s kiss exalted effects of one soul?
P/Y/R: OH yeah that’s easy… you see fey… can’t breed… normally with other fey… mainly because they are mostly all female… and who wants to sleep with a goat… so they sleep with mortals … like mommy… so when a fey sleeps with a mortal… she take a bit of the mortal's soul into her body… and use her own fey powers to turn that soul stuff into new fey… and because these fey have bit of the mortal's soul… the mortal get the some of the fey powers… So as long as we are around … mommy's exalted… because we are mostly good… If we were Unseelie or evil then it would be she would be vile.
BOB: Really, so how would you kids like to have some fun and then you can spend some more time with mommy.
BOB: Okay does every one understand the plan.
Paine: I go round up some redshirts to sacrifice to mommy…
Rikku: I go see if any of the wizards on this ship has that spell…
Yuna: And I go and see if I can get Jarlot to sign this bit of paper…
BOB: Excellent.
Paine: That’s Right, step right up, me, the other pixies want to play a game, and we need your help any red **** that plays with up will be upgrade to scum!
RED SHIRTS: BooYA!
Paine (to herself): If you survive
Yuna: Um hello Mister Captain Jarlot could you sign this please.
Jarlot: What is?
Yuna: Um…If you sign it Mommy will leave you alone and play with us instead… and some thing about turning the insane parts of the ship into a Casino...
Jarlot: You had me at ‘Tifa will leave me alone’
Rikku: Hey Volrath… Do you happen to have a spell called Fiend bind or some thing like that? Other wise I have to go ask one of the other spell casters.
Volrath: Yes… why do you need it?
Rikku: We, my sisters and Bob are trying to get are mommy to spend of time with us instead of chasing around the silly captain…
Volrath: … So you're doing this to be closer to your mother…
Later in the darkest part of the ship where the membrane that separates the planes from the Material world, about half the red shirts are standing on a large bulls eye.
P/Y/R: Hello … and Welcome… to my Glorious ascension to Demon hood!
Red shirt number 187: Wait, what us becoming scum!
Bob: Rikku Read the scroll, Yuna stop any redshirts from leaving this part of the ship; Paine you may kill them now.
P/Y/R: Sweet!... If you say so… Scroll reading powers activate.
A few seconds later
Igor: It lookth like I’ll have to clean thith up… I wonder who did it …
P/Y/R: WE DID…
When Igor turns around he see a stunning fey woman, whose hair shift from Red to brown and lastly to ash grey…
Igor: Ah well, nithe Blood thpatter.
P/Y/R: Thank you, it's quite weird only having one body, but at lest we grew up. Tell me, do you know where Mommy is…
Igor: I think she is playing poker with the other Female crew. [he had the lisp scared out of him]
Volrath wanders after Rikku, wondering what the little fey could possibly need that spell for. He reaches the room with the sacrifices and sees P/Y/R. All thoughts of Caralot flee his mind, and fall out his ears as little leeches.
Volrath (to himself) : She's hot.
Volrath (still in his head) : But fey taste soooo good, when marinaded in spider wine and white pork sauce.
Volrath (still in head) : Yes, but you can get fey to eat any day. This one bears an evil taint. Giving us a chance.
Volrath (in head) : Right.
Volrath (real world) : :drool:
P/Y/R: Would you convert to worshipping our mommy?
Volrath: Anything for you. All of my resources are at your disposal.
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